[Transcript of "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" episode When She Was Bad at buffyology.com.]
In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer.
Pan across and over to the sidewalk along the cemetery boundary. WILLOW and XANDER are on their way home. Xander has an ice cream cone and he and Willow are playing a game.
Okay, um...
It's your turn.
All right, okay... 'In the few hours that we had together, we loved a lifetime's worth.'
Terminator.
Good! Great.
Oh, okay, I got one. (imitating Charlton Heston) 'It's a madhouse! A mad--'
Planet of the Apes.
Can I finish, please?
Oh, sorry. Go ahead.
'--house!'
Planet of the Apes. Okay, good. Me.
Long beat while Willow thinks.
Well?
I'm thinking. 'Use the Force, Luke.'
Do I even have to dignify that with a guess?
I couldn't think of anything. It's a dumb game anyway.
Well, what else do you want to do? We already played rock, paper, scissors. My hands cramped up.
Well, yes, if you're always scissors of course your tendons are gonna strain--
Y'know, I just gotta say that this has been the most boring summer ever.
Yeah, but on the plus side, no monsters or stuff.
She steps over to the wall and hops up to sit on it.
I'm just so restless! I'm actually looking forward to school startin' up again.
Yeah, and that wouldn't have anything to do with a certain girl we both know who is a Vampire Slayer?
Please, I'm so over her. Did she mention when she might be gettin' back? About which I do not care.
I haven't heard from her. I got a couple postcards when she went to L.A., but then, like nothing.
Well, she's probably with her dad having a good time.
And you don't care?
Well, okay, there might be some interest. I'm a man. I have certain desires, certain needs...
I don't wanna know.
I got a movie for ya!
He taps her nose with his ice cream.
Xander!
You're Amish! You can't fight back... 'cause you're Amish! I mock you with my ice cream cone, Amish guy!
Witness. (pouts) My nose is cold.
Let me get that for ya.
He leans in to lick the ice cream off her nose. She stops him.
Xander!
I'm sorry, I can't help myself. Your nose looks so tasty.
He reaches up with his napkin and gently wipes off her nose. He takes much longer than he needs to and looks into her eyes. Then he brushes his hand against her cheek. After another moment he starts to move in for a kiss. She responds in
kind and tilts her head. They stop just short of making contact and linger there a moment.
Xander finally begins to pull back and when he does he sees a vampire standing on the other side of the wall. Confused, Willow follows his glance and looks too. She screams and jumps off the wall as Xander pulls her away from the vampire.
Willow, go!
He puts himself between her and the vampire and punches the vampire in the face. The vampire isn't even fazed. He seizes Xander and his head toward Xander's neck. Suddenly the vampire is grabbed by someone o.s. and is yanked off Xander. It's a girl and she punches the vampire in the face, knees him in the crotch and flips him over onto his back. She turns to Willow and Xander.
Hi, guys!
The vampire gets to his feet, snarling. BUFFY kicks him in the chest, sending him flying into a tree, impaling him on a dead branch. As the creature explodes into ashes, she turns back to Willow and Xander.
Miss me?
Opening credit sequence.
Resume.
Buffy!
Xander wraps her up in his arms.
Hey!
Hey. Hey, Will!
Buffy hugs Willow too.
Man, your timing really doesn't suck.
When did you get back?
Just now. Dad drove me down. And I figured you two losers would be getting into some kind of trouble.
I think we had the upper hand. In a subtle way.
Does either of you even have a cross? Very sloppy.
Well, it's been a slow summer. I mean, that's the first vampire we've seen since you killed the Master.
It's like they knew I was coming back.
They start to walk.
So, what about you? How was your summer? Did you slay anything?
No. Just hung out, partied some. Shopping was also a major theme.
Well, you haven't lost your touch. That vampire...
I did kinda whale on him, didn't I?
I like your hair.
So, how did you guys fare? Did you have any fun without me?
XANDER & WILLOW
No. Yes!
Our summer was kinda yawnworthy. Our biggest excitement was burying the Master.
That's right, you missed it. (points) Right out by that tree. Giles buried the bones and we poured holy water and we got to wear robes.
Very intense. You should have been.
Have you seen Giles?
Why would I do that? I'll see him at school.
Man, I'm really glad you're back.
Buffy looks uneasily over at the tree.
Me, too.
Buffy's dad, HANK, is helping her mom unpack her things. JOYCE opens a suitcase and looks through it.
Okay, then. This is the last of it.
More clothes?
Oh, do shoes count as clothes?
How much shopping did you let her do?
Oh, I just thought I was saving you from the big back-to-school clothing nightmare.
My nightmares of Buffy in school have nothing to do with clothes. Did she manage to stay out of trouble in L.A.?
She did, yeah. She was... you know, great.
But?
She was just, I don't know... distant. Not brooding or sulking, just... there was no connection. The more time we spent together, the more I felt like she was nowhere to be seen.
Hence the shoes?
I may have overcompensated a little bit.
Hmm.
It's so strange. You know, at least when she was burning stuff down I knew what to say.
Well, welcome to my world. I haven't been able to get through to her for so long. I'll just be happy if she makes it through the school year.
CORDELIA and her two friends walk down the stairs and across the quad. Cordelia is holding forth with tales of her summer vacation.
It was a nightmare, a total nightmare. I mean, they promised me they'd take me to St. Croix and then they just decide to go to Tuscany. Art and buildings? I was totally beachless for a month and a half. No one has suffered like I have. Of course, I think that that kind of adversity builds character. Well, then I thought, I already have a lot of character. Is it possible to have too much character?
Elsewhere on the quad. GILES and PRINCIPAL SNYDER head toward the school.
The first day back. It always gets me.
Yes.
I mean, it's incredible. One day the campus is completely bare. Empty. The next, there are children everywhere. Like locusts. Crawling around, mindlessly bent on feeding and mating. Destroying everything in sight in their relentless, pointless desire to exist.
I do enjoy these pep talks. Have you ever considered, given your abhorrence of children, school's principal was not, perhaps, your true vocation?
Somebody's got to keep an eye on them. They're just a bunch of hormonal time bombs. Every time a pretty girl walks by, every boy turns into a gibbering fool.
Giles spots JENNY CALENDAR coming toward them.
Ms. Calendar!
Mr. Giles!
Well... hello!
You see the way these kids gaze at each other... all moony.
It's good to see you.
Yes.
You think they're thinking about learning?
Were you headed to the faculty room?
Sounds like fun!
They head off to the faculty room leaving Snyder behind, muttering to himself.
I try and tell them about the important things in life. Discipline, responsibility, punctuality. Might as well be talking to myself.
With Giles and Jenny.
How was your summer?
Extreme. I did Burning Man in Black Rock... such a great festival, you should've been there. They had drum rituals, mobile sculptures, raves, naked mud dances, you would've just... hated it with a fiery passion!
I can't imagine finding any redeeming... (beat) naked?
Mmm. And you probably spent all summer with your nose in a book.
Yes, I suppose you'd consider that frightfully dull.
Depends on the book.
She gives Giles a wicked little smile as Willow and Xander come down the stairs. Buffy is not far behind them.
Giles!
Yo! G-man! What's up?
Nice to see you. And don't ever call me that.
Hi, kids.
Hi!
How are you?
Alive and kicking.
Buffy killed a vampire last night.
I think you can get a little more volume if you speak from the diaphragm.
Sorry.
We've got vampires? I thought the Hellmouth was closed.
Well, it's closed, but not gone. The mystical energy that emanates from it is still concentrated in this area.
Which means we're still the undead's favorite party town.
I wonder if they're here for any purpose, particularly.
You're the Watcher. I just work here.
Yes, I must consult my books.
Eight minutes and thirty-three seconds, pay up. (Willow hands him a dollar; to Giles) I called ten minutes before you'd consult your books about something. (to Willow) Thanks.
The bell rings.
We better get to class.
Oh, Buffy! I realize you've only just returned but when you're ready, I think we should start your training again.
I'm ready. I'll see you after school.
Well, I understand if you want a few days to--
I'm ready.
She turns and heads off.
Buffy does tumbling and kicking exercises that take her all around the library. Then she and Giles move on to the quarterstaff. Buffy swings it at Giles' hand pads. He retreats as she hits. He ducks a swing but she continues around with the quarterstaff and knocks him back into the chairs by the table. Next she practices her punches on the wooden punching dummy. She has a flash of the Master and begins to go crazy on it, throwing a vicious fusillade of blows.
Buffy, that's enough. Buffy!
She kicks it and it breaks.
Safe to say you've stayed in shape.
I'm ready. Whatever they've got coming next, I'm ready. Yeah.
Establishing.
A vampire, ABSALOM, is addressing an assembled rag-tag bunch-- the remains of the Master's army-- while COLLIN, the Anointed One, looks on.
We have been put down, kinsmen. We have lost our way. We have lost the night. But despair is for the living. Where they are weak, we will be strong. Where they weep, we rejoice. Where they bleed, we drink! Within three days a New Hope will arise. We will put our faith in him. (re: Collin) He will show us the way.
Buffy is upstairs on a couch, off in her own world. Willow and Xander approach to her.
Buffy. (no response) Buffy!
Fine! I'm fine.
Good! It's good that you're fine.
They sit with her and unpack their lunches.
What were you thinking about?
Nothing.
Oh, c'mon, you can tell us. We're your bosom friends. The friends of your bosom!
Xander.
Xander winces at his power bar. Willow frowns at her apple. They toss them to each other over the table.
I wasn't thinking anything, really.
What'd you do last night?
Slept. I had weird dreams.
Dreams are meaningful.
Tell me about it. The other night I dreamt that Xander... uh, it wasn't Xander. In fact, it wasn't me. It was a friend's dream and she doesn't remember it.
I bet she doesn't.
Giles comes in, searching.
Buffy!
Giles! What is it? You look worried.
This vampire activity, I think I know what they're up to.
Well, we'll deal with it.
I hope it's that simple.
It is not to worry. Trust me.
Oh, I don't know. I mean, (chuckles) I've killed you once, it shouldn't be too difficult to do it again.
What?
Giles backhands her in the face, knocking her down onto the table between the two couches. He gets on top of her and begins to choke her. Xander and Willow just chew away at their food, oblivious. Willow smiles at Xander. Buffy reaches up to Giles' face and tries to push him off. As she claws at him, a mask slides off, revealing the Master underneath. Buffy stares up at him in wide-eyed terror.
She wakes from her nightmare with a start and looks around the room. She sits up and rubs her face and suddenly ANGEL is there, leaning against the window sill.
Hello.
Mind if I come in?
Be my guest.
How are you?
Peachy. So is this a social call? It is kinda late. Or it is for me, anyway. What is it for you, lunch hour?
It's not a social call.
Ah. So, let me guess. That means grave danger. Gosh, it's good to be home.
I'm sorry. I wish I had better news.
So some of your cousins are in town for a family barbecue and we're all on the menu?
The Anointed One. He's been gathering forces somewhere in town. I'm not sure why.
Guess I'll find out soon enough, huh?
You don't sound too concerned.
I can handle myself. Besides, I could use a little action anyway.
Don't underestimate the Anointed One just because he looks like a child. He has power over the rest of them. They'll do anything for him.
Is that it? Is that everything? Y'know, 'cause you woke me up from a really good dream.
She turns away from him and lies back down.
Sorry. I'll go. (beat) I missed you.
I missed you...
But Angel is already gone.
On the way to school.
How are your new classes?
Good.
Good. Is there the slightest chance that if I asked you what was wrong you would tell me? (off Buffy's look) 'Course not. It would take all the fun out of guessing.
Buffy's locker.
Angel stopped by? Wow. Was there... well, I mean, was it having to do with kissing?
Willow, grow up. Not everything is about kissing.
Yeah. Some stuff's about groping. (to Buffy) It wasn't about groping?
Okay, hormones on parade here? It was pure shoptalk. Remember: vampires, pointy teeth, they walk by night... am I ringing a bell?
What did he say?
Oh, something's up. Nothing I can't handle.
They head off to class.
Oh, hey, did you guys hear that Cibo Matto's gonna be at the Bronze tonight?
Cibo Matto? They're playing?
No, Willow, they're gonna be clog dancing.
Cibo Matto can clog dance? (off Xander's look) Oh, sarcasm... right.
We should attend, no?
Cordelia flits out of class and engages them in the hall.
Oh, look. It's the Three Musketeers.
Was that an insult?
Kinda lacked punch.
The Three Musketeers were cool.
I see your point.
I would have gone with Stooges.
Well, I just meant that you guys always hang out together. So did you guys fight any demons this summer?
Willow and Xander are alarmed by Cordelia's lack of discretion.
Yes! Our own personal demons.
Such as... lust and... thrift!
I would have to go with Stooges also.
What are you guys talking about? I'm talking about big squiggly demons that came from the ground? Remember... Prom night? With all the vampires.
Cordelia, your mouth is open and sound is coming from it. This is never good.
No. (takes Cordelia aside) See, we can't mention that stuff in front of other people, Buffy being the Slayer and all.
You haven't been talking about our little adventure all summer, have you?
Are you nuts? Do you think I would tell people that I spent the whole evening with you? Besides, it was all so creepy. That Master guy? And all the screaming? I don't even like to think about it. (to Buffy) So your secret's safe with me.
Well, that works out great. You won't tell anyone that I'm the Slayer and I won't tell anyone you're a moron.
Now that was a good insult.
A little too good.
What's up with her?
Establishing.
Cibo Matto is on stage playing Spoon.
Willow and Xander sit at a table. She has a cup of ice cream.
I just think something's up is all.
Willow, you're paranoid.
Buffy's never acted like this before. Ever since she got back she's... different.
Buffy's always been different.
She's never been mean.
Any sign of her? She said she was coming.
No. The band's cool, though.
Yeah, cool.
Willow dips her nose into her ice cream and smiles, trying to get Xander's attention.
You got something on your nose.
The smile disappears from Willow's face and she wipes the ice cream off with her napkin.
Four crosses mark the tree where the Master is buried. A shovel stabs into the dirt and starts to dig. Another one joins in. The camera pans around to Absalom, Collin and two others watching the excavation.
Don't just stand there. Dig! We have to hurry.
The other two get on their knees and begin to dig. The ground burns their hands.
The ground is consecrated! It burns!
Dig.
The two vampires continue digging by hand. The grave is shallow and they soon unearth the Master's skull.
Buffy walks into the Bronze. Angel sees her and moves over to intercept her.
Hi.
Hi.
So is there danger at the Bronze? Should I beware?
I can't help thinking I've done something to make you angry and that bothers me more than I'd like.
I'm not angry. I don't know where that comes from.
What are you afraid of? Me? Us?
Could you contemplate getting over yourself for a second? There's no 'us'. Look, Angel, I'm sorry if I was supposed to spend the summer mooning over you but I didn't. I moved on. To the living.
She heads over to Willow and Xander's table. Cordelia watches her, by puzzled by her attitude.
What's wrong with Angel?
Beats me. (to Xander) Let's dance.
She grabs him and pulls him after her.
Ooo-kay.
Buffy and Xander begin to slow dance. Her movements are very sensual.
Buffy turns around and spoons against Xander, pulling his arms around her waist. She grinds her hips and shoulders against him, then runs her hand down his face.
Angel looks on, trying to hide his feelings. Willow watches in disbelief.
Buffy turns to Xander and tilts her head up to his, close enough to kiss.
Xander? Did I ever thank you... for saving my life?
No.
Buffy slowly slithers around him, making sure not to lose contact with his body.
Don't you wish I would?
She breaks off, leaving him standing there alone on the dance floor, stunned and not a little hurt. Buffy goes back to their table and retrieves her jacket.
She leaves the Bronze, followed by the puzzled stares of Cordelia, Angel, Xander and Willow.
Buffy exits the Bronze and walks down the alley at a quick pace. Cordelia follows her out.
Buffy. You're really campaigning for bitch-of-the-year, aren't you?
Buffy turns to face her.
As defending champion, you nervous?
I can hold my own. You know, we've never really been close, which is nice, 'cause I don't really like you that much but... you have on occasion saved the world and stuff so I'm going to do you a favor.
And this great favor is...?
I'm going to give you some advice. Get over it.
Excuse me?
Whatever is causing the Joan Collins 'tude, deal with it. Embrace the pain, spank your inner moppet, whatever... but get over it. 'Cause pretty soon you're not even going to have the loser friends you've got now.
I think it's about time you start minding your own business.
It's long past.
Buffy turns and walks off.
Nighty-night.
I'll just see if Angel feels like dancing.
As Buffy turns the far corner, Cordelia is suddenly seized by two vampires from the shadows and dragged into an adjacent building.
The two vampires force Cordelia down the stairs. At the bottom they shove her into a room. She looks around, frightened, and finds Jenny Calendar lying unconscious on the floor.
Ms. Calendar? Oh, god, Ms. Calendar?
Buffy approaches the Master's grave. When she gets there, she finds it dug open and his bones exhumed. She steps back slowly and whirls when she sees the Master out of the corner of her eye-- but no one's there-- it's just her imagination.
Giles gets a soda from the vending machine.
She's possessed!
Possessed?
That's the only explanation that makes any sense. I mean, you should've seen her last night. That wasn't Buffy.
Are we overlooking the idea that she may be very attracted to me? (off their look) She's possessed.
Possessed by what?
A possessing thing!
Well, that narrows it down.
He takes a sip of his soda and winces at its sweetness.
Well, you're the expert. Hey, maybe when the Master killed her some... mystical bad guy transference thing happened.
That's what it was! I mean, why else would she be acting like such a b-i-t-c-h?
Willow, I think we're all a little too old to be spelling things out.
A bitca?
Yes. I suggest that the explanation for her behavior may be something more mundane.
The bell rings and the students around them begin to leave for class.
She may simply have what you Americans refer to as issues. Her experience with the Master must have been extremely traumatic. Well, she was, for at least a few minutes, technically dead. (Buffy appears in the door) I don't think she's dealt with that on a conscious level. She's convinced herself that she's invulnerable... for the very reason that she feels--
That's a very interesting point about trout, you just brought up now.
Buffy walks up to them.
Trout? (notices Buffy) Trout! Yes, trout is a fish. Good morning. Did you sleep well?
Like a rock. Master's gone.
I'm sorry?
The Master. I went by his grave last night and they have a vacancy.
Good god!
What would somebody want with Master bones?
A trophy? A horrible conversation piece?
They're going to bring him back. They're going to bring the Master back to life and I seem to recall you telling me he was history.
Buffy, I've never heard of a revivification ritual being successful.
But you've heard of them? Thanks for the warning.
Well, Buffy, Giles did bury him and--
Look, this is Slayer stuff, okay? Could we have just a little less from the civilians, please?
Okay, that's just about enough!
Buffy shoots Xander a fierce look as Snyder approaches.
I believe some of us have class? And some of us have jobs.
Yes, well, I'll see you all in the library later. We'll continue this discussion.
About trout.
The kids leave. Snyder watches them go, shaking his head.
There're some things I can just smell. It's like a sixth sense.
No, actually that would be one of the five.
That Summers girl. I smell trouble. I smell expulsion and just the faintest aroma of jail.
Well, before you throw away the key, you might consider giving her the benefit of the doubt. She may surprise you.
You really have faith in those kids, don't you?
Yes, I do.
Weird.
Buffy, Xander and Willow have gathered to hear the results of Giles' research.
All right, I've got something. It's Latin, so bear with me. To revive the vampire they need his bones, which they have, and the blood-- this is very unclear-- of the closest person... someone connected to the vampire.
That'd be me.
Perhaps.
We were close. We killed each other. It really promotes togetherness.
Well, is there anything on when the ceremony might take--
A rock comes crashing through a window.
Whoa!
Buffy catches the rock in her hands. It has a note wrapped around it, kept in place with a bracelet.
This is Cordelia's. (reads) 'Come to the Bronze before it opens or we make her a meal.'
They're gonna cook her dinner? (off their look) I'll pretend I didn't say that.
What do we do?
I go to the Bronze and save the day.
I don't like this.
Nor I!
Yeah? Well, you guys aren't going.
What do you mean?
I can't do it anymore. I can't look after the three of you guys while I'm fighting.
Well, what about the rest of the note?
What rest of the note?
The part that says, 'P.S. This is a trap'?
You'll be playing straight into their hands.
I can handle this.
Stop saying that! God, what's wrong with you?
Cordelia may be dead.
This is my fight.
She leaves and grabs her coat and bag on the way out.
Buffy senses Angel as she nears the entrance.
You know, being stalked isn't really a big turn-on for girls.
You need help. Someone to watch your back.
Sure you don't mean my neck?
Why are you riding me?
Because I don't trust you. You're a vampire. (off his look) Oh, I'm sorry, was that an offensive term? Should I say 'undead American'?
You have to trust someone. You can't do this alone.
I trust me.
You're not as strong as you think.
You think you can take me?
What?
Oh, c'mon! I mean, you must've thought about it. What would happen if it ever came down to a fight? You vampire, me the Slayer... I mean, you must've wondered. Well, why don't we find out?
I'm not going to fight you.
Come on! Kick my ass!
Don't you have somewhere to be?
I do.
Well, you're wasting time.
Just stay out of my way.
Happy to oblige.
Buffy enters and looks around the empty club. She comes upon a girl crying in a corner and stops. Angel appears behind her.
That's not Cordelia.
TARA, a female vampire, laughs and turns around.
Cordelia couldn't make it.
Where is she?
I'm not supposed to tell.
I don't like this.
Don't like what?
There's the bait. Where's the hook?
The vampire attacks and Buffy flips her over onto her back on the floor and pins her down with her foot.
You're right. Why would they send just one?
Giles continues his research.
I still think we should've gone with her.
Buffy's about to lose it. I think we should be trying to reach minimum safe distance.
Xander, you know it's a trap!
Ah-ha! The Latin is translated from the Sumerian, and rather badly. 'Closest to the Master' actually translates as 'nearest'. Physically. The person or persons who were with him... when he...it is a trap.
Several vampires appear on the mezzanine level above them.
It just isn't for her.
Buffy binds the vampire's wrists and shoves her toward Angel.
Watch her. Don't kill her unless you have to.
Buffy! What's going on?
I'll be back.
Buffy runs in and stops short when she sees that the place is a shambles. The reading table has been tipped over onto its side. Behind it, Xander regains consciousness and gets up, using the table for support.
Xander!
She rushes over to him to help but he shakes her off.
What happened?
Vampires. The ones you could handle yourself.
Where are the others?
I don't know. (angry) I don't know what your problem is, what your issues are. But as of now, I officially don't care. If you'd worked with us for five seconds, you could have stopped this.
We just have to think. Where would they have taken them?
If they hurt Willow, I'll kill you.
She turns back to him and looks at him seriously.
Why did they take them and not you?
Giles said the ritual was... they needed people who were close to the Master. Physically close. When he...
The ones who were with the Master when he died.
Giles, Willow, Cordelia...
Ms. Calendar.
Odds are they've got a complete set by now.
We need to find out where.
How?
Buffy interrogates Tara. She throws the vampire to the floor.
One more time. Where are they?
You're too late. Your friends are dead.
Tell me where they are!
What are you gonna do? Kill me?
As a matter of fact... yes
She throws the vampire onto the billiard table and rips the necklace holding her cross from around her neck.
But since I'm not gonna kill you any time soon, the question becomes...
She drops the cross into the vampire's mouth and covers it with her hands.
...how are we gonna pass the time till then?
The cross sears the vampire's mouth and she writhes in agony. After several seconds of this, Buffy pulls the cross back out.
So... one more time.
Collin carries a black case past the Master's skeleton, which has been laid out on a table. Absalom takes it from him.
Begin.
Another vampire starts drawing in a chain and Willow, Giles, Cordelia and Jenny are moved along an overhead conveyor to hang upside down and unconscious above the Master's bones.
Behold, these four mortals...
Buffy enters the warehouse through a side door. Angel and Xander follow her in.
Witnesses to our Master's wretched demise. They will breathe their last this night. The blood that pours from their throats will bring new life to the Old One. We gather for his resurrection. For the dawn of this new hell.
Buffy looks up at her four friends hanging upside down.
Buffy! Buffy! We gotta do something now!
You two get the others out of here.
We need you to distract the vampires.
Right.
What are you going to do?
I'm going to kill them all. That ought to distract them.
Absalom holds a Kuhkri, a long, curved knife.
For the Old One. For his pain. For the dark.
For the dark!
Absalom kisses the blade just as a stake is suddenly thrust through one of his acolytes from behind; he instantly turns to ash to reveal Buffy standing there primed for the fight.
Absalom glares at her in disbelief and then roars. Three vampires attack her at once. She easily keeps them at bay while Angel and Xander climb the ladder to the platform above to spirit the others to safety. Absalom ushers Collin out of the warehouse and returns to find Angel and Xander pulling on the chain, bringing the others back over to the platform.
The sacrifices! Stop them!
One of the vampires breaks off from Buffy and starts climbing the ladder to the platform above. Absalom watches Buffy systematically taking his acolytes apart, piece by piece, and decides elsewhere is a better place to be.
Xander and Angel have managed to retrieve the four from the conveyor and are in the process of bringing them around when the vampire mounts the platform. Angel, his vampire ascendant, leaves Xander to tend to the others and attacks.
Below, Buffy is pinned beneath a vampire who explodes into ash as she rams a piece of wood through his back. Almost immediately she is set upon by the third
vampire acolyte and she continuous fighting, tearing into the vampire with a vicious fusillade of blows.
Jenny comes around and moves to help Giles who is also stirring toward conscious.
Angel and his attacker crash through a hole in the platform to the floor of the warehouse.
Are you all right?
Yeah, I'm okay.
Where's Buffy?
Xander is at the edge of the platform holding an unconscious Willow in his arms and watching the fight below.
She's working out her issues.
Buffy is still fighting a vampire below. Underneath the platform, Angel's attacker tries to jam a piece of wood into his chest but Angel reverses the blow and runs him through instead. Buffy kicks her vampire into a storage rack and he goes down with it. Absalom reappears in the doorway, this time with a large sledgehammer.
Enough!
Buffy turns to him. The other vampire slowly stands up behind her.
Your day is done, girl. I'll grind you into a sticky paste and hear you beg before I smash in your face.
So are you gonna kill me or are we just making small talk?
Absalom raises the sledgehammer in indignation and yells in fury as he launches his attack. The other vampire simultaneously rushes her from the other side. Buffy calmly looks at the tall wooden torch post in front of her, breaks it off and twirls it, stopping just as the acolyte impales himself on the broken end and Absalom hits the burning end and is set ablaze. They both explode into dust at the
same time. The sledgehammer falls to the floor with a loud clang. Buffy drops the post and looks over at the Master's skeleton.
The platform above. Willow is awake now.
It's over.
No, it's not.
Buffy bends down and picks up the sledgehammer. She slowly walks over to the Master's skeleton and ponders it for a moment. Then she swings the hammer back behind her and arcs it directly into the Master's skull, shattering it to pieces. She delivers blow after blow, reducing the bones to fine powder. Finally, she stops and bursts into tears, dropping the sledgehammer to the floor.
Angel moves behind her and wraps her up in his arms. Buffy turns around and leans into him, crying into his shoulder. Angel gently holds on to her as she cries. Xander, Willow and Giles watch from above.
It's okay. It's okay.
Jenny and Cordelia walk across the quad.
What an ordeal. And you know what the worst part is?
What?
It stays with you forever. No matter what they tell you, none of that rust and blood and grime comes out. I mean, you can dry clean till judgment day but you are living with those stains.
Yeah, that's the worst part of being hung upside down by a vampire who wants to slit your throat: the stains.
I hear ya!
Giles and Buffy approach from the opposite side of the quad.
I don't think I can face them.
Hmm? Of course, you can.
I can't! What am I supposed say? 'Sorry I almost got your throat slit. What's the homework?'
Punishing yourself like this is pointless.
It's entirely pointy. I was a moron. I put my best friends in mortal danger on the second day of school.
What are you going to do? Crawl inside a cave for the rest of your life?
Would it have cable?
Buffy, you acted wrongly, I admit that. But believe me, that was hardly the worst mistake you'll ever make. (beat) That wasn't quite as comforting as it was meant to be.
Well, points for effort. (the bell rings) See ya.
Buffy heads off to class.
Buffy enters, sees Willow and Xander and stops. They notice her but don't say anything. Buffy walks over to an empty desk next to Willow.
Hey, Buffy.
Hey.
We saved you a seat.
Buffy looks at them both and sits down.
There's a rumor going around that Mr. Cox is the most boring teacher in the entire world. Like I think he won a belt or something.
Like yes.
Well, I hear he nods off a lot. So that's a plus.
So, we Bronzin' it tonight?
Wednesday, it's kinda beat.
Well, we could grind our enemies into talcum powder with a sledgehammer but gosh... we did that last night.
They both smile at Buffy and she smiles back.
Hey, I got a plan. How about miniature golf?
There's no course here.
Okay, miniature tennis! A very tiny form of tennis that we could invent...
They make small talk until class begins. The camera slowly pulls back and away. All is well between the three friends again.
Collin surveys the damage Buffy has wrought. He looks all around him at the pieces of bone strewn everywhere.
I hate that girl.