School Hard

[Transcript of "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" episode School Hard at buffyology.com.]

Prologue

NARRATOR

(v.o.)
In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer.

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE-- DAY

Principal SNYDER is lecturing BUFFY and another girl SHEILA and enjoying every minute of it.

SNYDER

A lot of educators tell students, 'Think of your principal as your pal.' I say, 'Think of me as your judge, jury, and executioner.' Tell me, who do you think is the most troublesome student in this school?

The camera pans from Sheila, looking blasé, over to Buffy, looking apprehensive.

SNYDER

Well, it is quite a match between you two. On the one hand, Buffy hasn't stabbed a horticulture teacher with a trowel.

SHEILA

I didn't stab anyone with a trowel. They were pruning shears.

SNYDER

On the other hand, Sheila has never burned down a school building.

BUFFY

Well, that was never proven. The Fire Marshall said it coulda been mice.

SNYDER

Mice.

BUFFY

Mice that were smoking?

SNYDER

The two of you seem to be tied in the class-cutting and fight- starting events. You really are neck and neck here. It's quite exciting.

SHEILA

What does the winner get?

SNYDER

Expelled.

Buffy looks at him in shock.

SNYDER

Thursday is Parent-Teacher Night. Your parents, assuming you have any, will meet your teachers, assuming you have any left. I've decided to put the two of you in charge of this event. You have three days to prepare the refreshments, make the banners and transform the school lounge into a habitable place for adults. This will incur my good will... and may affect what I tell your parents when I meet them. Are we clear?

BUFFY

I'm clear. (to Sheila) Don't you feel clear? (Sheila just stares) We're very clear.

SNYDER

Good. Because you mess up this time and your parents will be coming to clean out your lockers.
CUT TO:

EXT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- MAIN ENTRANCE-- DAY

The bell rings. Buffy and Sheila come walking out of the building.

BUFFY

Well, it shouldn't be that hard. We can work on the banners at lunch tomorrow and figure out refreshments then?

SHEILA

Yeah, sure, whatever. (yells) Hey, meatpie!

She walks off as XANDER and WILLOW meet up with Buffy.

XANDER

Snyder's got you guys making party favors, huh?

BUFFY

His two worst students. That's what mom sees when she looks at me. A Sheila.

Sheila kisses an older boy with long, blonde hair.

XANDER

Well, Sheila's definitely intense. That guy with her? That's the guy she can bring home to mother.

WILLOW

She was already smoking in fifth grade. Once I was lookout for her.

XANDER

(to Willow)
You're bad to the bone.

WILLOW

I'm a rebel.

BUFFY

It's not fair. I'm the Slayer. That requires a certain amount of cutting and fighting. What's Sheila's excuse?

XANDER

Homework. She won't do it. And most teachers respect that now. Oh, you might wanna keep away any sharp implements when you're working with her.

BUFFY

Do you think any other Slayers ever had to go to high school?

XANDER

It's no biggie. You'll have a nice soirée. The parents will love it. As long as nothing really bad happens between now and then, you'll be fine.

BUFFY

Are you crazy? What did you say that for? Now something bad is gonna happen!

XANDER

What do you mean? Nothing's gonna happen.

WILLOW

Not until some dummy says, 'as long as nothing bad happens.'

BUFFY

It's the ultimate jinx!

WILLOW

What were you thinking? Or were you even thinking at all?

The girls give Xander looks of exasperation and walk off.

XANDER

Well, you guys don't know. Maybe this time it'll be different.
CUT TO:

EXT. SUNNYDALE CITY LIMITS-- PARK-- NIGHT

A classic 1958 Dodge Desoto FireFlite crashes through the 'Welcome to Sunnydale' sign and screeches to a halt. A serious-looking lanky man climbs out. He's dressed all in black, wearing a black duster, which creates quite a contrast with his bleached-blond, close-cropped hair. He has a bit of the James Dean rebel look about him. This is the notoriously vicious vampire, SPIKE. He strolls over to the curb and takes a deep breath while lighting a cigarette.

SPIKE

Home, sweet home.

Opening credit sequence.

ACT I

INT. SUNNYDALE INDUSTRIAL DISTRICT-- WAREHOUSE-- NIGHT

The child-vampire, COLLIN, the Anointed One, is listening to two of his acolytes argue. One, a huge UGLY vampire is making a play for control.

BIG UGLY

The Master is dead. Someone has to take his place.

VAMPIRE #1

As long as the Slayer's alive, whoever takes his place will be sharing his grave.

BIG UGLY

Then let the soul who kills her wear his mantle.

COLLIN

Can you do it?

BIG UGLY

Yes. This weekend, the night of St. Vigeous, our power shall be at its peak. When I kill her, it'll be the greatest event since The Crucifixion. And I should know. I was there.

Spike walks in to the room as if he owns the place.

SPIKE

You were there? (chuckles) Oh, please! If every vampire who said he was at The Crucifixion was actually there, it would have been like Woodstock.

BIG UGLY

I ought to rip your throat out.

SPIKE

I was actually at Woodstock. That was a weird gig. I fed off a flowerperson and I spent the next six hours watchin' my hand move.

The challenged vampire rushes him from behind and Spike swings his fist up without even looking, hitting him in the face and knocking him down and out.

SPIKE

So. Who do you kill for fun around here?

COLLIN

Who are you?

SPIKE

Spike. You're that Anointed Guy. I read about you. You've got Slayer problems. That's a bad piece of luck. Do you know what I find works real good with Slayers? Killing them.

COLLIN

Can you?

SPIKE

A lot faster than nancy-boy there. Yeah, I did a couple Slayers in my time. I don't like to brag. (beat) Who am I kidding? I love to brag! There was this one Slayer during the Boxer Rebellion, and...

He senses someone behind him and turns his head to look, hiding the demon within. A tall, pale but beautiful woman drifts into the room, as if lost. She seems almost ethereal. This is the vampire DRUSILLA, consort to Spike. As we get to

know her, we begin to understand that Drusilla is not completely sane, but unflinchingly vicious and very powerful nonetheless.

SPIKE

Drusilla. You shouldn't be walking around. You're weak.

DRUSILLA

Look at all the people. Are these nice people?

SPIKE

We're getting along.

DRUSILLA

(stares at Collin)
This one has power. I could feel it from the outside.

SPIKE

Yeah. He's the big noise in these parts. Anointed, and all that.

DRUSILLA

(to Collin)
Do you like daisies? I plant them, but they always die. Everything I put in the ground withers and dies. (her gaze goes distant) Spike? I'm cold.

He takes off his duster and drapes it over her shoulders.

SPIKE

I've got you.

DRUSILLA

I'm a princess.

SPIKE

That's what you are.

She pricks Spike on the cheek with her fingernail and a bead of blood flows out. She reaches up and licks it off. They move close to kiss but don't and instead look over at Collin.

SPIKE

Me and Dru, we're movin' in. Now. Any of you want to test who's got the biggest wrinklies 'round here... step on up. (to Collin) I'll do your Slayer for you. But you keep your flunkies from tryin' anything behind my back. Deal?

Collin nods. Drusilla leans over with her hands to her temples.

DRUSILLA

I can't see her. The Slayer. I can't see. It's dark where she is. Kill her. Kill her, Spike. Kill her for me?

SPIKE

It's done, baby.

DRUSILLA

Kill her for princess?

SPIKE

I'll chop her into messes.

DRUSILLA

You are my sweet... my little Spike.

SPIKE

(to Collin)
So. How 'bout this Slayer? Is she tough?
CUT TO:

INT. SUMMERS HOME-- BUFFY'S ROOM-- NIGHT

Buffy is standing at her mirror, trying to brush her hair.

BUFFY

Ow!

JOYCE walks in.

JOYCE

What's wrong?

BUFFY

I spent a good part of my allowance on this new cream rinse and it's neither creamy nor rinsey.

JOYCE

Life is hard, dear.

BUFFY

Don't I know it. Is that a split end?

JOYCE

I got the mail.

BUFFY

Good.

JOYCE

Which included a reminder notice about Parent-Teacher Night. Thursday.

BUFFY

That's good.

JOYCE

Which you were planning on telling me about?

BUFFY

Oh, for... the last two weeks.

JOYCE

Uh-huh. So what do you think your teachers are gonna tell me about?

BUFFY

Well, I think they'll all agree that I always bring a pen to class, ready to absorb the knowledge.

JOYCE

And this absorption rate? How is it reflected in your homework and test scores?

BUFFY

What can you really tell about a person from a test score?

JOYCE

Whether or not she's ever going out with her friends again.

BUFFY

Oh, that.

JOYCE

Well, I look forward to meeting your principal.

BUFFY

Won't that be something.

JOYCE

Look, sweetheart. Life is more than grades and homework and not getting kicked out of school.

BUFFY

I know.

JOYCE

But we moved once because of you getting in trouble. And I had to start a new business, not to mention a new life in a whole new town.

BUFFY

And you don't wanna do it again.

JOYCE

What I don't want is to be disappointed in you again.

BUFFY

Mom, that's the last thing that I want, too. I'm trying, I really am. I just... I have a lot of pressure on me right now.

JOYCE

Wait till you get a job. Sleep tight.

Buffy gets up from her bed and walks over to her desk. She pulls open the top left drawer. In it is a jar of holy water, a cross, a few stakes and a set of brass knuckles. She looks up at her reflection in the mirror.

BUFFY

I have a job.
CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- STUDENT LOUNGE-- DAY

Buffy and Willow are working on a banner.

WILLOW

Sheila's a no-show? She goes to this really rank bar-- The Fish Tank. Sometimes they have raids and other stuff that can make you tardy.

BUFFY

D'you think you can help me cram some French tonight? I don't want Mr. DeJean telling my mother I'm an imbecile.

WILLOW

I thought we were going to the Bronze tonight. 'Cause of how you thought Angel might show?

XANDER

If he does he'll meet some other nice girl? Studying comes first.

BUFFY

We're going to the Bronze. I can study and party and do Parent- Teacher Night and make my mother proud as long as I don't have to...

GILES and JENNY CALENDAR come walking in.

GILES

Buffy!

BUFFY

...fight vampires.

GILES

(to Jenny)
There is nothing in the chronicles about an extraneous lunar cycle.

JENNY

The Order never accurately calculated the Mesopotamian Calendar. Rupert, you have got to read something that was published after 1066.

GILES

Very funny.

XANDER

What's the up, guys?

GILES

Ms. Calendar has been researching, well, surfing on her computer, and she's... well, according to her calculations, this Saturday is the night of St. Vigeous.

BUFFY

Let me guess: he didn't make balloon animals.

GILES

No, he led a crusade of vampires. They swept through Odessa, Harran, and points east.

JENNY

And they didn't leave much behind.

BUFFY

Well, if I survive Parent-Teacher Night tomorrow, I'll see what I can do about Saturday.

GILES

You're being a tad flip, don't you think? This is serious.

BUFFY

And getting kicked out of school is laughs a-plenty?

GILES

You know what happens when you let your life interfere with your slaying.

BUFFY

Okay, well, if my slaying doesn't get me expelled, then I promise my banner making won't get me killed, okay? Just please let me get through this week.

GILES

This Saturday's going to need a great deal of preparation.

WILLOW

Well, we'll help.

XANDER

Yeah, I'll whittle stakes.

WILLOW

And I can research stuff.

XANDER

And while I'm whittling, I plan to whistle a jaunty tune.

GILES

Yes, your help will be greatly appreciated, but when it comes to battle, Buffy must fight alone. You are, after all, the Slay-- (sees Snyder in the hall) --slave. Slaves. You're all slaves to the television.

JENNY

Yes.

GILES

Young people nowadays. (to Jenny) Shall we go?

JENNY

Mmm, let's.

They leave as Snyder arrives.

SNYDER

(to Willow and Xander)
You wouldn't be helping Buffy in Sheila's place, would you?

XANDER

(laughs nervously)
No.

WILLOW

We're hindering.

SNYDER

She ditched. I feel an expulsion coming on.

BUFFY

No. No, actually, Sheila's been helping us for hours. She just went to get some more paint.

Sheila comes in the door behind Buffy and takes off her glasses. Buffy notices Snyder looking behind her, turns around and sees her.

BUFFY

Oh! Oh, is there no more teal in the art room? I know you wanted everything to be perfect, but let's just go with what we have.

SNYDER

Just make sure everything is perfect on Thursday.

SHEILA

Thanks for covering. Guy's a serious rodent.

BUFFY

No problem.

SHEILA

Did you really burn down a school building one time?

BUFFY

Well, not actually one time.

SHEILA

Cool.
CUT TO:

INT. THE BRONZE-- NIGHT

Xander dances lamely by himself as Willow helps Buffy with her French at a table.

BUFFY

La vache... doit me... touche... de la... jeudi. Was it wrong? Should I use the plural?

WILLOW

No. But you said, 'The cow should touch me from Thursday.'

BUFFY

Maybe that's what I was feeling.

WILLOW

And you said it wrong.

BUFFY

Oh. Je stink.

WILLOW

You're just not focused. It's Angel missage.

BUFFY

Well, he didn't say for sure. It was a 'maybe see ya there' kinda deal.

XANDER

Guys, I'm all alone out there. Somebody has to dance with me.

WILLOW

Well, we are studying.

XANDER

C'mon, one dance. You've been studying nearly twelve minutes.

BUFFY

No wonder my brain's fried.

She gets up and Willow starts to protest but Buffy and Xander drag her along with them.

BUFFY

Come on.

Spike walks up to their table and casually watches them dance. Then he walks along the edge of the dance floor, studying Buffy intently.

Spike moves to Big Ugly at the bar.

SPIKE

Go get something to eat.

After a moment, he approaches a group of people who are in close proximity to the dancing trio. He speaks loudly so they are sure to overhear.

SPIKE

Where's the phone? I need to call the police. There's some big guy out there trying to bite somebody.

Buffy runs for the exit with Spike smirking in the background.

CUT TO:

EXT. THE BRONZE-- ALLEY-- NIGHT

Big Ugly has found a young woman. She quakes in fear as he grabs her neck and moves in for the bite. Buffy seizes him by the shoulder and pulls him off of her. He somersaults and rolls up to his feet.

BIG UGLY

Slayer!

BUFFY

Slayee!

She launches into him and the two of them fight viciously, trading punches and kicks and throwing each other across the alley. Xander and Willow come running around the corner.

BUFFY

Get her out of here!

Willow grabs the woman and pulls her clear of danger.

BUFFY

And a stake would be nice!

Xander runs to find a stake as Spike looks on from a short distance away, taking the Slayer's measure.

CUT TO:

INT. THE BRONZE-- NIGHT

Xander goes though Buffy's purse. He pulls out a yo-yo and sets it aside. He pulls out a tampon and quickly drops it like a hot potato. He finds a stake, and rushes back out.

CUT TO:

EXT. THE BRONZE-- ALLEY-- NIGHT

The Big Ugly delivers a stunning blow to Buffy's head. She spins to the ground and lies there, momentarily stunned. The vampire looms over her.

BIG UGLY

I don't need to wait for St. Vigeous. You're mine.

He bends down to kill her and she kicks him in the face. He staggers backward as she maneuvers to her feet.

BIG UGLY

Spike! Gimme a hand!

Buffy looks over at Spike in the shadows. Xander is back with the stake.

XANDER

Buffy!

She turns to him and he throws her the stake. She snatches it out of the air and, in one smooth, fluid motion, drives it into the vampire's chest. He doesn't even have time to fall before he crumbles to ashes. Spike comes out of the shadows slowly clapping his hands. Buffy looks at him, confused.

SPIKE

Nice work, love.

BUFFY

Who are you?

SPIKE

You'll find out on Saturday.

BUFFY

What happens on Saturday?

SPIKE

I kill you.

Spike turns and disappears around the corner leaving Buffy speechless.

FADE OUT

ACT II

EXT. THE BRONZE-- ALLEY-- NIGHT

Sheila comes out with two guys and they head down the alley. She's obviously had a little bit much to drink.

SHEILA

All right. Which one's Dwayne and which one's Dell? Don't tell me. Dell's the one with the tattoos. You guys weren't lying about having a Cadillac, were you? 'Cause I'm crazy about a Cad. Just the feel of the leather makes me wanna...

She's gotten a bit ahead of Dwayne and stops to look back at him. She sees he's gone.

SHEILA

Where'd you go?

She looks the other way at Dell and he's gone, too.

SHEILA

What's going on? Where are you guys? Not funny!

She turns around and is startled by Spike who has silently appeared behind her.

SHEILA

Who are you?

SPIKE

Who do you want me to be?

SHEILA

Did you see...

SPIKE

...those two losers who thought they were good enough for you?

SHEILA

What happened to 'em?

SPIKE

They got sleepy.

SHEILA

Huh?

SPIKE

And you got something a whole lot better.

He slowly walks past her and down the alley. She follows him.

SHEILA

Hey, wait up! What's your name?

She starts after him. The camera follows her, but then pans down to Dwayne and Dell, dead on a heap of trash.

CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- LIBRARY-- NIGHT

Xander, Willow and Jenny are researching.

GILES

Spike. That's what the other vampire called him? That's a little unorthodox, isn't it?

BUFFY

Maybe he's reformed.

GILES

Perhaps he went by another name in... times past.

JENNY

Well, whoever he is, we'll need all the help we can get come this Saturday.

XANDER

So, this night of St. Vigeous deal. If they're gonna attack in force, aren't we thinkin' vacation?

WILLOW

We can't run, that would be wrong. Could we hide? I mean, if that Spike guy is leading the attack...

She shudders.

GILES

Well, he can't be any worse than any other creature you've faced.

ANGEL abruptly enters the library.

ANGEL

He's worse. Once he starts something, he doesn't stop until everything in his path is dead.

XANDER

Hmm. So, he's thorough, goal-oriented.

BUFFY

We were at the Bronze before. Thought you said you might show.

ANGEL

You said you weren't sure if you were going.

BUFFY

I was being cool. C'mon, you've been dating for, what, like, two hundred years? You don't know what a girl means when she says maybe she'll show?

WILLOW

Wow, two centuries of dating. If you only had two a year, that's still, like, four hundred dates with four hundred different... (off Buffy's look; re: mace on table) Why do they call it a mace?

GILES

We do have slightly more urgent matters to discuss.

BUFFY

Yeah, like keeping my mom away from Principal Snyder tomorrow night?

JENNY

And not dying Saturday.

GILES

Angel, do you know if this Spike fellow goes under any other name?

But Angel has gone again, the library doors just falling closed.

XANDER

Okay, that's it. I'm puttin' a collar with a little bell on that guy.
CUT TO:

INT. WAREHOUSE LAIR-- DRUSILLA'S ROOM-- NIGHT

There is chanting going on elsewhere, o.s. The camera pans from her bed past her TV and lamp and over to her collection of dolls. She lifts one and turns it to face away.

DRUSILLA

Miss Edith speaks out of turn. She's a bad example and will have no cakes today. Shhhh.

Spike enters.

SPIKE

Darling, are you going to eat something?

DRUSILLA

I'm not hungry. I miss Prague.

SPIKE

You nearly died in Prague. Idiot mob. This is the place for us. (leads her to the bed) The Hellmouth will restore you, put color in your cheeks, metaphorically speaking, and in a few week's time...

DRUSILLA

The stars will align and smile down on us.

SPIKE

And then, God... this town will burn.

DRUSILLA

(giggles)
A pretty fire!

He rolls over her and lies down next to her.

DRUSILLA

(re: the chanting)
They're preparing.

SPIKE

St. Vigeous is coming up. Should be a party.

Sheila is tied up and gagged with her hands hanging from a hook above her.

DRUSILLA

You should go up with them and cleanse.

SPIKE

Dru...

DRUSILLA

The boy doesn't trust you. They follow him. I think sometimes that all my hair will fall out and I'll be bald.

SPIKE

Never happen. All right. I'll go up and get chanty with the fellas, but you got to do me one favor. (takes Sheila off the hook) Eat something.

He hands Sheila to Dru and leaves.

DRUSILLA

You see, Miss Edith? If you'd been good you could watch with the rest.

Drusilla turns to Sheila, vampire ascendant. Sheila's eyes go wide in terror as Drusilla snarls and sinks her fangs deep into Sheila's soft flesh.

CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- LIBRARY-- AFTERNOON

Willow checks the crossbow. Jenny walks behind her with extra pieces of wood to make stakes and sets them on the table between Cordelia and Xander, who are whittling away. Buffy holds up a large wicked-looking machete, then starts chopping away at a cucumber with it. She's preparing a vegetable tray and refreshments for Parents Night.

GILES

For three nights the unholy ones scourge themselves into a fury, culminating in a savage attack on the night of St. Vigeous.

XANDER

Does anybody remember when Saturday night meant date night?

CORDELIA

You sure don't.

BUFFY

Oh! Parents start arriving in an hour. Okay, so banners are in place, the lounge is comfy... what am I forgetting?

WILLOW

Punch?

BUFFY

Punch. I need punch!

CORDELIA

My fingers are cramping. How long have I been doing this?

XANDER

Three minutes.

CORDELIA

So, can I go now? She doesn't need this many stakes. I mean, if this guy Spike is as mean as you all said, it should be over pretty quickly. (off Buffy's look) We're still all rooting for you on Saturday. I'd be there for you myself if I didn't have a leg wax.

BUFFY

You guys hold down the fort. I'm punch bound.

She leaves the library in a semi-panic. As soon as she's gone, Xander and Cordelia both reach over and grab snacks off the vegetable tray. Buffy sticks her head back in the door.

BUFFY

No!
CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- STUDENT LOUNGE-- NIGHT

Parent-Teacher Night. Buffy is doling out the punch into cups. Willow saunters over.

WILLOW

What kinda punch did you make?

BUFFY

Lemonade. (hands her a cup) I made it fresh and everything.

WILLOW

How much sugar did you use?

Willow takes a sip.

BUFFY

Sugar?

Willow's mouth puckers with sour-overload and she quickly puts the cup down.

WILLOW

It's very good.

BUFFY

Okay, now all I have to do is keep my mother and Snyder from crossing paths for the rest of the night.

WILLOW

(sees Joyce)
Hi, Mrs. Summers.

JOYCE

Hi, Willow. Hi, honey. Did you do all this?

BUFFY

Yeah! Here, have some lemonade. (spots Snyder) Right after Willow shows you the library. I have to stay here and hostess.

WILLOW

Great, the library. (remembers the group in the library) Oh, no, Giles and everyone--

BUFFY

--is locked in there studying. Right. French class it is!

Willow leads Joyce away as Snyder approaches Buffy.

SNYDER

Was that your mother?

She grabs a cup and a ladle full of lemonade and turns toward him.

BUFFY

Here. (fakes a spill) Oh! Oh, sorry! Um, yeah! Yeah, I was gonna introduce you, but she wouldn't have said much. Y'know, she doesn't speak a word of English.

Snyder doesn't believe a word of it and heads after Joyce and Willow. Buffy lets out a worried moan and looks up at the clock: 6:15.

(TIME CUT) DISSOLVE TO:

8:45. Cordelia storms in.

CORDELIA

Giles has us locked up in that library working on your weapons. Even slaves get minimum wage.

She stares at Buffy's face.

BUFFY

What?

CORDELIA

You're starting to look a little slagged. What, are you just skipping foundation entirely now?

BUFFY

Cordelia, I have at least three lives to contend with, none of which really mesh. It's kind of like oil and water and a... third unmeshable thing.

CORDELIA

Yeah, and I can see the oil. (sees Joyce talking to Willow) Is that your mom? Now that is a woman who knows how to moisturize. Did it, like, skip a generation?

JOYCE

Well, I believe that I have seen every classroom on campus and just as I get there all your teachers miraculously have stepped out.

Willow smiles over Joyce's shoulder, proud of herself. Buffy panics as Snyder enters the lounge again.

BUFFY

Oh, but you haven't seen the boiler room yet. And, you know, that's really interesting, what with the boiler being in the room and all.

Snyder approaches the group and Joyce offers her hand to him.

JOYCE

Hi. I'm Joyce Summers. I'm Buffy's mother.

SNYDER

(ignores her hand)
Principal Snyder. I'm afraid we need to talk. My office is down here.

Joyce follows Snyder to his office. Cordelia watches them go with a huge smile on her face.

BUFFY

(worried)
He didn't look very happy.

WILLOW

But you did such a good job.

CORDELIA

When they're done talking...

BUFFY

What?

CORDELIA

My guess? Tenth high school reunion, you'll still be grounded.

Buffy shoots her a hateful look.

WILLOW

Cordelia, have some lemonade.
CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- LIBRARY-- AFTERNOON

Giles and Jenny continue their research while Xander keeps whittling stakes.

GILES

Oh, there you are.

JENNY

There who is?

GILES

Our new friend Spike. He's known as 'William the Bloody'. Earned his nickname by torturing his victims with railroad spikes. Very pleasant. Well, here's some good news: he's barely two hundred. He's not even as old as Angel is. (frowns) Oh.

XANDER

That's a bad look, right?

GILES

I think your suggestion of running away this Saturday might've been a good one. Spike has fought two Slayers in the last century and... he's killed them both.
CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- STUDENT LOUNGE-- NIGHT

Snyder returns with Joyce. She approaches her daughter, barely restraining her fury.

JOYCE

In the car, now.

Willow gives Buffy a look of sympathy before Buffy turns to follow her mom out. She turns her head to look back at Snyder, who's going around turning off the lights. Joyce waits for Buffy to join her and they walk out of the room. As Snyder switches off the final bank of lights, two vampires suddenly come crashing through the window, followed by several more. Students and parents panic and begin to run for the exits. As Buffy runs back into the room, she notes that the vampires have lined up, like an invading army.

SPIKE

What can I say? I couldn't wait.
FADE OUT

ACT III

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- STUDENT LOUNGE-- NIGHT

Spike attacks. Buffy grabs a chair and throws it at him, tripping him up.

CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- CORRIDOR-- NIGHT

Buffy runs out of the room and grabs her mother's hand. She turns down the hall to the right, but more vampires come in that way, so she reverses direction.

CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- STUDENT LOUNGE-- NIGHT

In the lounge, Spike grabs hold of a man.

SPIKE

Nobody gets out! Especially the girl!
CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- CORRIDOR-- NIGHT

Another vampire is guarding the exit. Buffy heads in yet another direction.

BUFFY

Everybody, this way! C'mon! C'mon!

Snyder and several others run past her as she shoves a cleaning cart into the two vampires chasing them. Willow and Cordelia come running out of the lounge and nearly trip over them. They head to their right, but a vampire grabs Cordelia and she screams. Willow grabs a bust from a display pedestal and cocks it back for a swing.

WILLOW

Hey!

The vampire looks up and Willow swings the bust hard into his face, knocking him off of Cordelia. Willow grabs her hand and pulls her into a closet.

CUT TO:

The hall outside the library. At the sound of screaming and fighting, Giles, Jenny and Xander come running out.

GILES

What the hell...?

They see Buffy's group running toward them.

BUFFY

Spike and an army! Look out!

Giles looks behind them and sees a vampire running at them. Jenny screams.

GILES

Back!

They run back into the library and hold the door shut as the vampire slams into it. Buffy opens the door to the science lab.

BUFFY

In here! Now!
CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- SCIENCE LAB-- NIGHT

The group piles into the lab and Buffy follows, slamming the door as the two vampires smash into and start hammering. Snyder and another man maneuver a storage cabinet in front of the door while Buffy runs over to the other door to the room and locks it. Then the power goes out.

CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- LIBRARY-- NIGHT

Giles, Jenny and Xander look up from barricading the doors as the lights go off and the emergency lights come on.

CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- CORRIDOR-- NIGHT

Outside the lounge. Spike is still holding on to the man he grabbed up earlier.

VAMPIRE #1

We cut the power. Nobody got out.

SPIKE

And the Slayer?

VAMPIRE #1

She either went that way or that way. I saw two others.

SPIKE

You don't know? (to the man) I'm a veal kind of guy. You're too old to eat. But not to kill.

He snaps the man's neck like a twig and drops the dead body to the floor.

SPIKE

(to Vampire #1)
I feel better.
CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- LIBRARY-- NIGHT

Giles tries the phone but it's dead.

GILES

They've cut the phones. (has an idea) Wait a minute. There's an old boarded-up cellar behind the stacks. You can get out that way. (to Xander) Find Angel. He knows about Spike. We need him.

XANDER

No, I'm not going anywhere until I know that Buffy and Willow are all right.

GILES

No one will be all right unless we get some help!

Xander concedes and goes.

CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- SCIENCE LAB-- NIGHT

Cut to the classroom. Buffy is trying to maintain control of the group of parents.

MAN

Who are those people and what do they want?

JOYCE

I didn't get much of a look, but is there something wrong with their faces? I--

SNYDER

Yes! PCP! It's a gang on PCP! We've gotta get out of here.

He grabs a desk, sets it in front of a window and starts climbing.

BUFFY

You can't go outside! They'll kill you!

SNYDER

You don't tell me! I tell you!

BUFFY

(pulls him down)
They will kill everybody in this room. Nobody goes out, nobody comes in until I say so. Do you hear me?

SNYDER

Who do you think you are?

BUFFY

I'm the one that knows how to stop them.

She looks up and walks across the room, trying to find a way into the ceiling. Joyce grabs her by the shoulders.

JOYCE

Buffy, are you crazy? Look, I know you've been accused of fighting and other things, but those guys are serious. You can't go out there.

BUFFY

I know. That's why I'm going up there.

She grabs a stool, sets it on a lab table, climbs up and pushes a ceiling panel aside. She looks down at her mom.

BUFFY

Don't worry, Mom.

She lifts herself up into the ceiling.

CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- CORRIDOR-- NIGHT

Spike is looking for Buffy.

SPIKE

Slaaayer! Here, kitty, kitty. I find one of your friends first, I'm gonna suck 'em dry. And use their bones to bash your head in.

He smashes in a classroom door with one kick.

CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- SUPPLY CLOSET-- NIGHT

Willow and Cordelia are holding their breath, trying to avoid detection. Cordelia is holding a broom for defense.

SPIKE

(o.s.)
Are you getting a word picture here?

CORDELIA

(whispers)
Oh, God, oh, God!

Willow claps her hand around Cordelia's mouth to keep her quiet.

CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- CORRIDOR-- NIGHT

Just as Spike is about to kick the supply closet door open, he's distracted by one of his thugs.

VAMPIRE #1

Spike! Listen...

They listen and hear noises in the ceiling.

CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- CEILING CRAWLSPACE-- NIGHT

Buffy crawling along through a maze of conduits and wires.

CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- CORRIDOR-- NIGHT

Spike grins wickedly.

SPIKE

(sing-song)
Someone's in the ceeeeeiling!
CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- LIBRARY-- NIGHT

Giles stuffs several stakes into his jacket pockets, grabs a battle-ax from the table and heads toward the door.

JENNY

Hey-hey-hey! What are you doing?

Giles starts to push his way through the barricade they constructed.

JENNY

There are at least three vampires in that hall! God only knows how many others in the building!

GILES

(looks at Jenny)
Listen, I am the Watcher! I am responsible for her and I have... I have to go!

He starts pushing things aside again.

JENNY

Rupert!

He stops and turns to her.

JENNY

Be careful.

GILES

Push these back as soon as I--

With a tremendous crash, Buffy breaks through the ceiling and drops to the floor. Jenny stumbles back in surprise as Giles raises the ax.

GILES

Buffy! You're all right!

JENNY

How are the others?

BUFFY

Principal Snyder, my mother and four others are locked in the science room across the hall. Willow and Cordelia ran the other way. I don't know if they're... Where's Xander?

GILES

He got out through the stacks. He's getting Angel.

Buffy slings Xander's bag over shoulders and Jenny helps Buffy put crosses and stakes into it.

BUFFY

Good. Okay, I'm gonna take the vamps out in the hall. After that you get my mother and the others out the same way.

GILES

Let me help you.

BUFFY

Giles, my mother's in that room. If I don't make it out of here, I know you'll make sure she does.

GILES

Bloody right, I will. Fair enough. What's your plan?

BUFFY

Well, they split up to hold us here, so I'm gonna take them one on one. Set 'em up and knock 'em down.

She grabs a stool and positions it under the hole in the ceiling. She hops up on the stool and lifts herself back up into the ceiling.

GILES

Watch your back!
CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- SCIENCE LAB-- NIGHT

Snyder is pacing, furious.

JOYCE

Why don't you sit down?

SNYDER

This is my school. What I say goes, and I say this is not happening.

JOYCE

Well, then I guess the danger's over!

MAN

I'm not waiting for them to open the doors. I'm gettin' out!

JOYCE

Don't be an idiot!

SNYDER

I'm beginning to see a certain mother-daughter resemblance.

The man climbs up to the window and lifts the sash.

JOYCE

No! Look, you heard what Buffy said!

SNYDER

She's a student. What does she know?

He takes off his jacket and goes to help the man. The two of them begin bending back the metal slats blocking the window.

CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- CORRIDOR-- NIGHT

A vampire throws himself against the science classroom door. It doesn't budge. He sees Spike looking at him, questioning.

VAMPIRE

Yeah. Door's solid.

SPIKE

Use your head.

He grabs the vampire by the shoulders and shoves his head into a fire emergency case containing an ax. He pulls the ax out, thrusts it into the vampire's hands and continues down the hall. He passes two others pounding on another door.

SPIKE

You! Come with me!

One of the vampires follows him.

CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- SCIENCE LAB-- NIGHT

The vampire begins swinging the ax at the door. Joyce casts a worried look at Snyder and the other man. They get two slats bent aside.

SNYDER

I did it!

The man starts to pull himself through the opening. Snyder helps, but lets go when the man begins to kick and scream while struggling with something outside. Snyder watches in fear as the man is pulled through the window and then jumps down, cowering. Joyce quickly climbs up, bends the slats back and closes the sash.

CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- CORRIDOR-- NIGHT

Spike is listening for activity in the ceiling. He pinpoints Buffy's position.

CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- CEILING CRAWLSPACE-- NIGHT

Buffy is making her way back through the tight passageway.

CUT TO:

EXT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- NIGHT

Xander and Angel come across the man who was pulled out of the science lab window. He lies dead on the grass.

XANDER

You know a lot about this Spike guy, so ... you got a plan?

Angel seizes Xander by the throat.

XANDER

(choking)
Good plan.

Angel drags him into the building by the neck.

CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- SUPPLY CLOSET-- NIGHT

The girls are still huddled in fear.

CORDELIA

(whispers)
I think he's gone.

WILLOW

(whispers)
He could come back!

CORDELIA

What are we gonna do?

WILLOW

Pray.
CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- CEILING CRAWLSPACE-- NIGHT

Buffy keeps crawling through the tight passageway.

CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- STUDENT LOUNGE-- NIGHT

Spike finds two metal poles and throws one to the other vampire as he goes back into the hall.

CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- CORRIDOR-- NIGHT

He listens for a moment and then shoves the pole up into the ceiling. The other vampire follows suit.

CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- CEILING CRAWLSPACE-- NIGHT

The pole punches through the ceiling tile inches from Buffy's face. She begins backing up.

CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- CORRIDOR-- NIGHT

The vampire has almost chopped his way through the door to the science classroom. He steps around the corner to alert the others.

VAMPIRE

Hey! Guard the door! I'm almost finished!

As he continues chopping, Buffy plummets through the ceiling behind him. She pulls him down with her as she drops and quickly dispatches him with a stake. Joyce is looking through the hole in the door but can't see much of anything. Buffy stands up and looks through the hole.

JOYCE

Buffy! Are you okay?

BUFFY

I'm fine, mom.

JOYCE

Buffy, look, get out of here, okay? We'll be all right!

BUFFY

Look, just hang on for one more minute until I tell you to open the door.

She quietly makes her way to the adjacent hall, stake in hand. She peeks around the corner and sees the other vampire standing there with his back to her. She hears a noise behind her and whirls around, stake poised to strike. It's Sheila.

BUFFY

Sheila! Where've you been?

SHEILA

Sorry I'm late. There's some really weird guys outside.

BUFFY

Shh! Yeah, I know. They're trying to kill us.

Sheila picks up the dead vampire's ax and smiles.

SHEILA

This should be fun.
CUT TO:

Spike, still poking the poles into the ceiling. Angel walks into the hall dragging Xander by the neck. Spike is stunned to see him.

SPIKE

Angelus!

Angel wraps his arm around Xander's neck.

ANGEL

Spike!

SPIKE

I'll be damned!

He tosses his pole aside and they greet each other with a hug and a laugh.

ANGEL

I taught you to always guard your perimeter. Tsk, tsk, tsk. You should have someone out there.

SPIKE

I did. I'm surrounded by idiots. What's new with you?

ANGEL

Everything.

SPIKE

Yeah. Come up against this Slayer yet?

ANGEL

She's cute. Not too bright, though. Gave the puppy dog 'I'm all tortured' act. Keeps her off my back when I feed.

SPIKE

(laughing)
People still fall for that Anne Rice routine. What a world!

XANDER

I knew you were lying.

Angel shuts Xander up with a bone-crushing squeeze.

XANDER

(choking)
Undead liar guy.

Angel grabs him by the hair and shirt and holds out his exposed neck.

ANGEL

Wanna bite before we kill her?
CUT TO:

Buffy and Sheila, about to round the corner.

BUFFY

(whispers)
Stay behind me.

She quietly moves into the adjacent hall and quietly steals up behind the vampire, holding her stake at the ready. Behind her Sheila, vampire ascendant, raises the ax.

FADE OUT

ACT IV

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- CORRIDOR-- NIGHT

The vampire, Sheila, raises her ax over Buffy. Giles, looking through the library door window, yells out a warning.

GILES

Buffy! Look out!

She spins around and grabs the ax from Sheila in mid-swing. She swings it around and hits Sheila in the jaw with the butt of the handle. The other vampire attacks and ducks as Buffy swings the ax at him, burying it in the wall. The vampire smiles as he straightens back up, thinking he avoided her blow, but then looks down in surprise at the stake protruding from his chest. He collapses to the floor and bursts into ashes. Buffy turns her gaze on Sheila who turns tail and flees down the hall. Buffy lets her go and rushes back to the classroom door.

BUFFY

Mom, now!

JOYCE

Okay, come on, let's go!

Everyone rushes out of the classroom and into the library.

JOYCE

C'mon! Hurry!

BUFFY

(to Giles)
Get them out!

JOYCE

You're coming too!

BUFFY

In a minute! Go!

Buffy runs off, disappearing around a corner.

JOYCE

Buffy!
CUT TO:

Spike and Angel.

SPIKE

I haven't seen you in the killing fields for an age.

ANGEL

I'm not much for company.

SPIKE

No, you never were. So why are you so scared of this Slayer?

ANGEL

Scared?

SPIKE

Yeah. Time was you would've taken her out in a heartbeat. Now look at you. I hope this tortured thing is an act, right? You're not... housebroken?

ANGEL

I saw her kill the Master. Hey, you think you can take her alone? Be my guest. I'll just feed and run.

He snarls and lowers his fangs toward Xander's neck.

SPIKE

(holds up his hand)
Don't be silly! We're all friends. We'll do it together. Let's drink to it.

They both slowly lean in toward Xander's neck. At the last moment, Spike smashes Angel in the face, staggering him.

SPIKE

You think you can fool me? You were my sire, man! You were my... Yoda!

ANGEL

Things change.

SPIKE

Not us! Not demons! Man, I can't believe this. You Uncle Tom! (grabs his pole from the floor) Come on, people! This isn't a spectator sport!

The gathered vampires attack with a roar. Xander flies out the exit door and runs for all he's worth. Angel follows as the assembled vampires give chase. Spike remains behind. He senses someone behind him and turns to face Buffy.

SPIKE

Fe, fi, fo fum. I smell the blood of a nice ripe... girl.

BUFFY

(brandishing the ax)
Do we really need weapons for this?

SPIKE

I just like them. They make me feel all manly.

He drops the pole and slowly steps toward Buffy. She drops the ax.

SPIKE

The last Slayer I killed... she begged for her life.

Buffy slowly approaches him, sizing him up.

SPIKE

You don't strike me as the begging kind.

BUFFY

You shouldn't have come here.

SPIKE

No. I've messed up your doilies and stuff. But I just got so bored. (smirks) I'll tell you what. As a personal favor from me to you I'll make it quick. It won't hurt a bit.

BUFFY

No, Spike. It's gonna hurt a lot.

The fight is on.

CUT TO:

EXT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- NIGHT

Angel and Xander fight furiously with the vampire horde.

CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- CORRIDOR-- NIGHT

Buffy and Spike exchange several blows. He throws her into the wall.

CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- LIBRARY-- NIGHT

Joyce is following everyone out through the stacks when she stops, concerned about her daughter.

GILES

Come on, everyone. This way!
CUT TO:

EXT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- NIGHT

Xander avoids several punches and kicks. His own punch misses and he gets kicked to the ground from behind.

CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- CORRIDOR-- NIGHT

Buffy and Spike fighting furiously.

CUT TO:

EXT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- NIGHT

A vampire has Xander by the neck. Angel punches her off of him. These vampires are young and weak and they begin to realize Angel is far too powerful to defeat. As a group they retreat and head off across the school grounds into the night.

CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- CORRIDOR-- NIGHT

Buffy ducks a blow and lands four of her own, rapid-fire. Spike grabs her arm and shoves her into the wall. She slides down it quickly as Spike's next punch misses her head and goes straight through the wall. She maneuvers behind him and kicks him high and hard in the neck.

SPIKE

Now, that hurt!

He pulls his arm out of the wall, ripping a stud out with it, and swings it into Buffy's face. She flies back and collapses to the floor, stunned.

SPIKE

But not as much as this will.

He stands over her and draws back the stud to finish her, when he's suddenly hit in the head with the ax. He goes sprawling to the floor and looks up at his attacker. Joyce stands above him with the ax in her hands, ready to swing again.

JOYCE

You get the hell away from my daughter!

Spike holds the stud above his head to protect against any more blows. Buffy gets to her feet.

SPIKE

Women!

Realizing he's beat, Spike gets up and runs through the lounge and out the broken window.

JOYCE

(drops the ax)
Nobody lays a hand on my little girl.

Buffy wraps her mother up in a big hug.

CUT TO:

EXT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- NIGHT

The police are everywhere. The camera pans down to the Police CHIEF talking to an officer.

CHIEF

Take care of this.

The officer nods and leaves. The Chief walks over to his car as Snyder approaches.

SNYDER

Hello, Bob.

CHIEF

It's over. They all got away. I got a body inside and I got another one on the south lawn. And it looks like he was pulled right through the window.

SNYDER

I told him not to go through that window.
CUT TO:

Giles and Jenny coming out of the building.

JENNY

Well, another wonderful fun-filled evening.

GILES

Yes. You know, I will understand if you decide to start avoiding me.

Jenny smiles and takes Giles' arm and they walk off together.

CUT TO:

Angel and Xander.

XANDER

So when you gave him my neck to chew on, why didn't you clock him before he had a chance to clock you?

ANGEL

I told you. I couldn't make the first move. I had to see if he was buying it or not.

XANDER

And if he bit me, what then?

ANGEL

We would've known he bought it.

XANDER

Hey, what's the deal with you being Spike's sire? What's a sire?
CUT TO:

Snyder and the Chief.

CHIEF

I need to say something to the media people.

SNYDER

So?

CHIEF

So? You want the usual story? Gang-related? PCP?

SNYDER

What did you have in mind? The truth?

CHIEF

(considers)
Right. Gang-related. PCP.
CUT TO:

Buffy and Joyce.

BUFFY

So what did you and Principal Snyder talk about anyway?

JOYCE

Principal Snyder said you were a troublemaker.

Buffy looks down in shame.

JOYCE

And I could care less.

Buffy looks back up, shocked and hopeful.

JOYCE

I have a daughter who can take care of herself... who's brave and resourceful and thinks of others in a crisis. No matter who you hang out with or what dumb teenage stuff you think you need to do, I'm going to sleep better knowing all that.

Buffy beams, glad her mother is proud of her.

BUFFY

About how long till this wears off and you start ragging on me again?

JOYCE

Oh, at least a week and a half.

BUFFY

Very cool!
TIME CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- CORRIDOR-- NIGHT

Later. The last police are gone and the school is dark and quiet. The camera pans over to the utility closet.

CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- SUPPLY CLOSET-- NIGHT

Cordelia is kneeling in prayer. Willow stares at her in disbelief.

CORDELIA

And if you get me out of this, I swear I'll never be mean to anyone ever again. Unless they really deserve it. Or if it's that time of the month, in which case I don't think you or anyone else can hold me responsible.

WILLOW

Ask for some aspirin.

CORDELIA

And can you please send some asp-- hey!
CUT TO:

INT. WAREHOUSE LAIR-- MAIN ROOM-- MORNING

Sunlight is streaming through a high window and Spike is standing beside a large iron cage. Drusilla walks around the cage toward him.

DRUSILLA

Spike, did she hurt you?

SPIKE

It was close, baby, but...

DRUSILLA

Oh, come here.

She pulls his head down onto her shoulder and strokes his cheek and neck.

SPIKE

A Slayer with family and friends. That sure as hell wasn't in the brochure.

DRUSILLA

You'll kill her and then we'll have a nice celebration.

SPIKE

Yeah, a party.

DRUSILLA

Yes. With streamers... and songs.

SPIKE

How's the Annoying One?

DRUSILLA

He doesn't want to play.

SPIKE

Figures. Well, suppose I better go make nice.

He walks over to Collin and kneels before him.

COLLIN

You failed.

SPIKE

I, uh... I offer penance.

VAMPIRE #1

Penance? You should lay down your life! Our numbers are depleted, the feast of St. Vigeous has been ruined by your impatience!

SPIKE

I was rash and if I had to do it all over again... Who am I kidding? I would do it exactly the same, only I'd do this first.

Spike seizes Collin and carries him over to the cage.

COLLIN

No!

Vampire #1 tries to stop him, but Spike kicks back and knocks him out. He sticks Collin in the cage and closes the door, locking it. Drusilla watches with glee as Spike starts pulling the chain, lifting the cage up from the floor.

SPIKE

From now on, we're gonna have a little less ritual and a little more fun around here.

He gives the chain a final yank and the cage is lifted into the sunlight. Collin screams in horrible agony and erupts into flame. Drusilla smiles at Spike. He smiles back. They step closer together and hold hands.

SPIKE

Let's see what's on TV.

The camera pans up to the cage as they go. The last remnants of Collin are still steaming.

FADE TO BLACK
END