Reptile Boy

[Transcript of "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" episode Reptile Boy at buffyology.com.]

Prologue

NARRATOR

(v.o.)
In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer.

EXT. SUMMERS HOME-- NIGHT

Establishing.

CUT TO:

INT. SUMMERS HOME-- BUFFY'S ROOM-- NIGHT

XANDER and BUFFY are listening to strange Hindi music on the TV while they braid WILLOW's hair.

XANDER

Is she dying?

BUFFY

I think she's singing.

XANDER

To a telephone in Hindi. Now that's entertainment!

The Hindi woman on TV dances around the room while singing into the phone.

XANDER

Why is she singing?

WILLOW

She's sad because her lover gave her twelve gold coins, but then the wizard cut open the bag of salt and now the dancing minions have nowhere to put their big maypole fish thing.

XANDER

Uh-huh. Why is she singing?

BUFFY

Her lover? I thought that was her chiropractor.

WILLOW

Because of that thing he did with her feet? No, that was personal.

XANDER

Hmm. And we thought just because we didn't have any money or anyplace to go this would be a lackluster evening.

WILLOW

I know! We could go to the Bronze and sneak in our own tea bags and ask for hot water.

XANDER

Hop off the outlaw train, Will, before you land us all in jail.

BUFFY

I, for one, am giddy and up. There's a kinda hush all over Sunnydale. No demons or vampires to slay, I'm here with my friends... (re: TV) So how does the water buffalo fit in again?
CUT TO:

EXT. CRESTWOOD COLLEGE-- HOUSE-- NIGHT

The lawn in front of the Delta Zeta Kappa fraternity house. Pan along the grass and then up to the house.

CUT TO:

The balcony. A girl crashes through the glass door and rolls over the balcony railing, dropping to the ground below. A fraternity brother in a dark hooded robe rushes out onto the balcony after her. When he sees that she jumped, he quickly goes back inside.

CUT TO:

The girl gets up, apparently not hurt from the fall, and begins to run as fast as she can. Five brothers, all wearing robes, come streaming out of the house after her. She runs into the trees, looks around for the best way to go and heads for a low wall to the north. She climbs over the it and drops down the other side into the cemetery. The fraternity brothers follow her over the wall one by one. She runs through the cemetery for all she's worth as the boys give chase. RICHARD, one of the brothers, has circled around ahead of her and she runs into him, screaming.

RICHARD

Callie! Callie, where're you going? The party's just getting started.

CALLIE sobs uncontrollably as he shoves her over to the others and they take her away. Richard takes a quick look around to make sure there's no one around, then pulls his hood over his head and follows the group back to the house.

Opening credit sequence.

ACT I

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- CORRIDOR-- DAY

CORDELIA is giving her friends a lesson in popularity.

CORDELIA

(fake laughter)
See? Dr. Debi says when a man is speaking, you make serious eye contact and you really, really listen and you laugh at everything he says.
CUT TO:

The stairs. Willow and Buffy descend and head down the hall.

WILLOW

You dreamed about Angel again?

BUFFY

Third night in a row.

WILLOW

What did he do in the dream?

BUFFY

Stuff.

WILLOW

(big smile)
Oh! Stuff! Was it one of those vivid dreams where you could feel his lips and smell his hair?

BUFFY

It had Surround Sound. I'm just thinking about him so much lately.

WILLOW

You two are so right for each other. Except for the...

BUFFY

Vampire thing.

WILLOW

That doesn't make him a bad person. Necessarily.

BUFFY

I'm brainsick. I can't have a relationship with him.

WILLOW

Not during the day, but you could ask him for coffee some night. It's the non-relationship drink of choice.

Xander rushes out of a nearby classroom and hurries to catch up.

WILLOW

It's not a date, it's a caffeinated beverage. Okay, sure, it's hot and bitter like a relationship that way, but--

XANDER

What's like a relationship?

BUFFY

Nothing I have. Coffee?

XANDER

Huh?

He approaches Cordelia as Willow and Buffy get a drink at the fountain.

CORDELIA

(to girl)
There's really no comparison between college men and high school boys. (re: Xander) I mean, look at that.

XANDER

So, Cor, you're datin' college guys now?

CORDELIA

Well, not that it's any of your business, but I happen to be dating a Delta Zeta Kappa.

XANDER

Oh, an extra-terrestrial. So that's how you get a date after you exhausted all the human guys.

CORDELIA

You'll go to college someday, Xander. I just know your pizza delivery career will take you to so many exciting places.

Xander is uncharacteristically at a loss and retreats back to the girls. Buffy and Willow overheard the exchange and try to hide their smiles. The bell rings.

BUFFY

Oh! I told Giles I'd meet him in the library ten minutes ago! (beat) Aw, he won't be upset. There hasn't been much paranormal activity lately.

As Willow and Xander head for class, Buffy rushes off to the library.

CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- LIBRARY-- DAY

GILES paces while he lectures her.

GILES

Just because the paranormal is more normal and less... para of late is no excuse for tardiness or letting your guard down.

BUFFY

I haven't let my guard down.

GILES

Oh, really? You yawned your way through weapons training last week, you skipped hand-to-hand entirely. Are you going to be prepared if a demon springs up behind you and does this?

As he speaks, he swings his arm over Buffy's shoulder from behind, but before he can even begin to attack her, she seizes his arm and wrenches it behind his back, forcing him to bend over and wince in pain. We note her bored expression.

GILES

Yes, well, I'm not a demon. Which is why you should let go now.

She lets him go.

GILES

(quietly)
Thank you.

He straightens up and rubs his wrist.

GILES

When you live on top of a mystical convergence it's only a matter of time before a fresh hell breaks loose. Now is the time that you should train more strictly, you should hunt and patrol more keenly, you should hone your skills day and night.

BUFFY

And the little slice of life that still belongs to me from, I don't know, seven to seven-oh-five in the morning-- can I do what I want then?

GILES

Buffy, you think I don't know what it's like to be sixteen?

BUFFY

No. I think you don't know what it's like to be sixteen. And a girl. And the Slayer.

GILES

Fair enough, no I don't.

BUFFY

Or what it's like to have to stake vampires while you're having fuzzy feelings toward one? Digging on the undead doesn't exactly do wonders for your social life.

GILES

That's exactly where being... different comes in handy.

BUFFY

Right! Who needs a social life when you've got your very own Hellmouth?

GILES

Yes! You have a duty, a purpose, you have a commitment in life. Now how many people your age can say that?

BUFFY

We talkin' foreign or domestic? How about none?

Giles has had enough.

GILES

Well, here's a hard fact of life: we all have to do things we don't like! And you have hand-to-hand this afternoon and patrol tonight. So I suggest you come straight here at the end of period six and you get your homework done. And don't dawdle with your friends. (Buffy pouts) And don't think sitting there pouting is going to get to me, because it won't.

She gives him her best pouty look.

GILES

(looks away)
It's not getting to me.
CUT TO:

EXT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- DAY

After school. Buffy is sitting on the stair railing watching Xander and Willow walk toward her.

XANDER

Boy, what a long day.

WILLOW

And you skipped three classes.

XANDER

Yeah and of course, they flew by. Buffy!

WILLOW

Aren't you supposed to be doing your homework in the library?

She takes Xander's arm.

BUFFY

I'm dawdling with my friends.

XANDER

Works for me.

Cordelia bumps into Willow on her way out of school. She continues down the stairs without so much as an acknowledgment. A black BMW pulls up to the curb, the windows darkly tinted.

BUFFY

(to Willow)
You okay?

WILLOW

Jeez.

They watch as Cordelia primps to her reflection in the car window. The driver's window lowers to reveal Richard.

RICHARD

Cordelia.

CORDELIA

Hi, Richard. Nice car.

TOM, in the passenger's seat, notices Buffy sitting on the railing and points her out to Richard.

RICHARD

So we're having a little get-together tomorrow night at the house and it's gonna be a really special evening.

Cordelia not-so-flawlessly executes her fake laugh. Richard and Tom don't get it.

RICHARD

Excuse me?

CORDELIA

Oh! I would love, love to go!

RICHARD

(re: Buffy)
So, who's your friend?

CORDELIA

Her? Oh, she's not my friend.

TOM

She's amazing!

CORDELIA

She's more like a sister, really! We're that close.

RICHARD

Well, why don't you introduce us?

Cordelia realizes she's trapped.

CORDELIA

(reluctant)
Okay.
CUT TO:

Buffy, Xander and Willow.

XANDER

Okay, so tonight, Channel 59, Indian TV: sex, lies, incomprehensible story lines. I'll bring the betel nuts.

Cordelia walks up and takes Buffy's hand.

CORDELIA

Come on. Richard and his fraternity brother want to meet you.

BUFFY

Well, I don't really want to meet any fraternity boys.

CORDELIA

And if there was a god, don't you think he'd keep it that way?

Willow and Xander watch in amazement as Cordelia drags Buffy away.

XANDER

I believe we were dawdling here!

Cordelia presents Buffy to Richard.

RICHARD

Hi, sweetheart. I'm Richard. And you are?

BUFFY

So not interested.

Buffy turns to leave but Cordelia stops her.

CORDELIA

She's such a little comedienne.

RICHARD

What, she likes to play hard to get?

TOM

No, Richard. I think you're playing easy to resist.

Buffy successfully manages to break free of Cordelia and walks off, but Tom paces her.

TOM

Feel free to ignore him. I do all the time. I'm Tom Warner. I'm a senior at Crestwood College and I... and I just feel like a complete dolt meeting you this way so here I stand in all my doltishness.

Willow and Xander are listening to Tom's play for Buffy.

XANDER

Right. Like she's gonna fall for that.

BUFFY

I'm Buffy Summers.

TOM

Oh, nice to meet you. Are you a senior here?

BUFFY

Junior.

TOM

Oh, me too. Except that I'm a senior and I'm in college. So we have that in common, and I major in history.

BUFFY

History stumps me. I have a hard enough time remembering what happened last week.

TOM

No, nothin' happened last week. Don't worry, I was there.

XANDER

She's gonna walk away. (beat) Now.

TOM

So my friend invited your friend to a party we're having this weekend.

Cordelia's fake laugh resonates in b.g.

TOM

You know, actually he's not even really my friend. I only joined the fraternity because my father and grandpa were in it before me. Y'know, it meant a lot to them.

XANDER

Okay, boots, start a-walking.

TOM

Oh, I know, I talk too much anyway. They're really dull parties full of really dull people so... would you like to come and save me from a really dull fate?

BUFFY

I wish I could but I'm sort of involved.

TOM

Well, sure, of course you are. (beat) Well, thanks for letting me ramble.

BUFFY

You know, people underestimate the value of a good ramble.

Giles comes out of the school looking for Buffy and sees her talking to Tom.

GILES

Buffy!

She turns to look and he points at his watch and goes back inside.

BUFFY

Oh, I gotta go. (smiles) It was nice to meet you.

TOM

Same here.

Buffy runs up the stairs and Xander hands her bag to her as she heads to the library. Tom watches her go.

XANDER

I hate these guys. Whatever they want just falls into their laps. Don't you hate these guys?

WILLOW

Yeah, with their charmed lives and their movie star good looks and more money than you can count? I'm hating.
CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- LIBRARY-- DAY

Giles comes out of the cage holding a sword in one hand and a stick in the other.

GILES

I'm going to attack you. A word of warning: for your own good, I won't be pulling any punches.

He adopts a fighting stance.

BUFFY

Please don't.

Lightning quick, she kicks the sword out of his left hand. He tries to counter by swinging the stick at her, but she sidesteps him. As the stick hits the floor, she pins his arm and stomps on the stick, breaking it. He tries to lunge at her, but she sidesteps again, and he runs into the reading table and slides across the top.

GILES

Good. So you're on patrol and I'll see you in the morning?
CUT TO:

EXT. SUNNYDALE CEMETERY-- NIGHT

Buffy strolls through, keeping a careful watch. She spots a bracelet on the ground and bends down to pick it up. ANGEL suddenly appears behind her.

ANGEL

There's blood on it.

BUFFY

(startled)
Hi. It's nice to... blood?

ANGEL

I can smell it.

BUFFY

Oh. It's pretty thin. It probably belonged to a girl.

ANGEL

Probably.

BUFFY

I was... just thinking, wouldn't it be funny some time to see each other when it wasn't a blood thing? (beat) Not funny "ha ha".

ANGEL

What are you saying-- you want to have a date?

BUFFY

No.

ANGEL

You don't want to have a date?

BUFFY

Who said 'date'? I never said 'date'.

ANGEL

Right. You just want to have coffee or something.

BUFFY

(hopefully)
Coffee?

ANGEL

I knew this was going to happen.

BUFFY

What? What do you think is happening?

ANGEL

You're sixteen years old. I'm two hundred and forty-one.

BUFFY

I've done the math.

ANGEL

You don't know what you're doing, you don't know what you want...

BUFFY

Oh, no, I think I do. I want out of this conversation.

ANGEL

Listen, if we date you and I both know one thing's going to lead to another.

BUFFY

One thing already has led to another. Don't you think it's a little late to be reading me a warning label?

ANGEL

I'm just trying to protect you. This could get out of control.

BUFFY

Isn't that the way it's supposed to be?

He takes her by the shoulders and pulls her closer. She draws a startled breath.

ANGEL

This isn't some fairy tale. When I kiss you, you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after.

BUFFY

No. When you kiss me, I want to die.

She pulls herself free and runs off.

CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- CLASSROOM-- DAY

Class is over and the students are leaving. Buffy slowly gets up from her desk and gathers her things. Cordelia comes into the room, searching for Buffy.

CORDELIA

Buffy! Did you lose weight? And your hair... All right, I respect you too much to be dishonest. The hair's a little... (smiles) Well, that really isn't the point here, is it? The Zeta Kappas have to have a certain balance at their party and Richard explained it all to me, but I was so busy really listening that I didn't hear much. Anyway, the deal is they need you to go. And if you don't go, I can't. And I'm talking about Richard Anderson, okay? As in Anderson Farms, Anderson Aeronautics (choked with emotion) and Anderson Cosmetics. Well, you see why I have to go. Buffy, these men are rich. And I am not being shallow. Think of all the poor people I could help with all my money!

BUFFY

(distant)

I'll go.

CORDELIA

(surprised)
You'll go? (huge smile) Great! I'll drive. Oh, Buffy, it's like we're sisters! With really different hair.
CUT TO:

INT. HOUSE-- BASEMENT-- NIGHT

A PLEDGE is taking the Oath of Brotherhood. The brethren surround him, hoods drawn over the heads, faces obscured.

RICHARD

I pledge my life and my death...

PLEDGE

I pledge my life and my death...

RICHARD

To the Delta Zeta Kappas and to Machida whom we serve.

PLEDGE

To the Delta Zeta Kappas and to Machida whom we serve.

RICHARD

On my oath before my assembled brethren...

He carves a symbol into the pledge's chest with the tip of a sword.

PLEDGE

(ignores the pain)
On my oath before my assembled brethren...

RICHARD

I promise to keep our secret from this day until my death.

PLEDGE

I promise to keep our secret from this day until my death.

Richard finishes carving and lowers the sword.

RICHARD

In blood I was baptized. In blood I shall reign. In his name.

PLEDGE

In blood I was baptized and in blood I shall reign. In his name.

RICHARD

You are now one of us.

PLEDGE

In his name!

BROTHERS

In his name.

Richard puts the sword aside and shakes the pledge's hand.

RICHARD

Brewski time!

A brother tosses Richard a beer. As he opens it he walks over to Callie, who is shackled to the wall.

RICHARD

So what's a girl like you doing in a place like this?

CALLIE

(begs)
Let me go.

RICHARD

Let you go? Okay, let me think. Um, no! (laughs) God, I love high school girls. Mmm!

He walks off to join the party. Callie lowers her head and weeps.

FADE OUT

ACT II

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- STUDENT LOUNGE-- DAY

The lounge. Willow and Buffy gather their things to go to class.

WILLOW

You're going to the fraternity party? What made you change your mind?

BUFFY

Angel.

WILLOW

He's going with you? (to Xander) She's got a date with Angel! Isn't that exciting?

XANDER

(deadpan)
I'm elated.

BUFFY

I'm not going with Angel. I'm going with-- ye gods-- Cordelia.

WILLOW

Cordelia? (to Xander) Did I sound a little jealous just then? 'Cause I'm not really. (to Buffy) Cordelia?

XANDER

Cordelia's much better for you than Angel.

They all walk out of the lounge, talking as they go.

CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- CORRIDOR-- DAY

WILLOW

What happened with Angel?

BUFFY

Nothing, as usual. A whole lotta nothing with Angel.

XANDER

Bummer.

WILLOW

I don't understand. I mean, he likes you. More than likes.

BUFFY

Angel barely says two words to me.

XANDER

Don't you hate that?

BUFFY

And when he does, he treats me like I'm a child.

XANDER

That bastard!

BUFFY

You know, at least Tom can carry on a conversation.

XANDER

Yeah! Tom? Who's Tom?

WILLOW

The frat guy.

XANDER

Oh, Buffy, I don't think so. Frying pan-- fire? You know what I'm saying?
CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- LIBRARY-- DAY

Giles comes out of his office carrying a sword behind his back and looks around. Seeing there's no one there, he starts practicing a few thrusts to his front and back. He spins around and thrusts again.

GILES

Will you be ready if a vampire's behind you?

He thrusts the sword behind him, pretending he jus impaled one. He raises the sword above his head to run his imaginary fallen victim through. Buffy, Willow and Xander come in through the Embarrassed, Giles pretends nothing was happening.

GILES

I didn't see you three... creeping about.

He tosses the sword through the open cage door and kicks it shut.

GILES

How did it go last night?

Buffy gives him the bracelet she found in the cemetery.

BUFFY

Found this.

Giles reads the inscription.

GILES

E-N-T.

WILLOW

I've seen something like that before.

BUFFY

It's broken in two. I don't know what the rest of the letters might have spelled. And there's blood on it.

GILES

I didn't see any.

BUFFY

Angel showed up. He could smell it.

XANDER

The blood? There's a guy you want to party with.

GILES

Blood.

WILLOW

In Sunnydale. What a surprise.

XANDER

Okay, here's what we're gonna do. She should probably make the rounds again tonight and we should try to figure out who that bracelet belongs to.

GILES

Yes, good idea. She'll patrol and we'll reconvene--

BUFFY

(interrupting)
Uh, hello? She's standing right here. And she's not available.

GILES

Why not?

XANDER

Buffy, this is a little more important than--

BUFFY

I've got a mountain of homework to do and my mom's not really feeling well and she could probably use my help and to be truthful I'm not really feeling all that well myself.

Willow can't believe what she's hearing and stares at Buffy.

GILES

Oh well, sorry, of course. If you're not well...

BUFFY

Oh, I'll take an early pass this evening, and one later on, but for the bulk of the evening...

GILES

Oh, you should stay home with your mother.
CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- CORRIDOR-- DAY

The three of them come out of the library. Xander gives Buffy a stern look.

BUFFY

Well, say it.

XANDER

I'm not gonna say it.

WILLOW

You lied to Giles.

XANDER

'Cause she will.

BUFFY

Look, I wasn't lying. I was just... protecting him from information that he wouldn't be able to... digest properly.

XANDER

Like a corn dog.

WILLOW

Like you don't have a sick mother, but you'd rather go to a frat party where there's going to be drinking and older guys and probably an orgy.

XANDER

Whoa! Whoa-ho-ho! Rewind. Since when do they have orgies and why aren't I on the mailing list?

BUFFY

There's no orgies!

WILLOW

I heard a lot of wild things go on at frat parties.

BUFFY

Okay, you know what? Look, seven days a week I am busy saving the world. Once in a great while I want to have some fun. And that's what I'm gonna have tonight. Fun!
CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- STUDENT LOUNGE-- DAY

Buffy and Cordelia are sitting at a table, talking.

CORDELIA

This isn't about fun. This is about duty-- your duty, to help me achieve permanent prosperity, okay? Do's and don'ts: don't wear black, silk, chiffon or spandex. These are my trademarks. And don't do that weird thing with your hair.

BUFFY

What weird thing with my--

CORDELIA

Don't interrupt. Do be interested if someone should speak to you. It may or may not happen, but do be polite. And laugh at the appropriate intervals. Do lie to your mom about where we're going. It's a fraternity and there will be drinking.

Xander and Willow come over to the table. Xander is munching on a power bar. Willow has a Coke.

XANDER

So Cor, you printing up business cards with your pager number and hours of operation or just going with a halter top tonight?

CORDELIA

Oh, are we feeling a little envious? You could belong to a fraternity of rich and powerful men... in the bizarro world.

Once again, Xander is left flustered and without a retort.

BUFFY

Do you guys want to join us?

XANDER

Nah, I gotta... digest and all.

He and Willow head over to the couches and sit down.

CORDELIA

Makeup, makeup... well, give it your all and keep to the shadows. We're gonna have a blast!

Buffy lets her head fall to the table, wondering how she's gotten to this point.

CUT TO:

Xander and Willow on the couch.

WILLOW

I can't believe she lied to Giles. My world is all askew.

XANDER

Buffy's lying, Buffy's going to frat parties... that's not askew, that's cockeyed.

WILLOW

Askew means cockeyed.

XANDER

Oh.

He grabs her Coke and takes a swig. She grabs his bar and breaks off a piece.

WILLOW

Well, there's nothing we can do about it. We'll help Giles.

XANDER

I'm goin' to the party.

WILLOW

What?

XANDER

I gotta keep an eye on Buffy. Those frat guys creep me.

WILLOW

You want to protect her?

XANDER

Mm-hm.

WILLOW

And prove that you're just as good as those rich, snotty guys?

XANDER

Mm-hm.

WILLOW

Maybe catch an orgy?

XANDER

If it's on early.

Willow nods her head and pops the piece of power bar into her mouth. Xander takes another swig of her Coke.

CUT TO:

EXT. HOUSE-- NIGHT

Cordelia arrives, screeching in to park and smacks the car in front of her.

CUT TO:

INT. CORDELIA'S CAR-- NIGHT

Cordelia checks her hair and makes some last minutes adjustments to the masterpiece that is Cordelia.

CORDELIA

Oh! Why do they park so darn close to you? Are you ready for this?

BUFFY

I don't know. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

CORDELIA

Me, too. Let's go!

She gets out of the car and closes the door.

CORDELIA

C'mon!
CUT TO:

INT. HOUSE-- NIGHT

Two pretty girls walk through the main room of the frat house. A couple of football fraternity brothers, TACKLE and LINEBACKER (nicknamed for their team positions), watch them walk by.

TACKLE

Beaucoup babes!

LINEBACKER

Oh, yeah!

Pan across the room to Buffy and Cordelia.

CORDELIA

You know what's so cool about college? The diversity. You've got all the rich people and all the other people. (spots Richard) Richard!

Richards sees them and walks over, handing them drinks.

RICHARD

Welcome, ladies.

CORDELIA

Thank you.

BUFFY

Oh, is there alcohol in this?

RICHARD

Just a smidge.

CORDELIA

C'mon, Buffy, it's just a smidge.

Buffy sets the drink down.

BUFFY

I'll just...

RICHARD

I understand. When I was your age I wasn't into grownup things either. Have you seen our multi-media room?

CORDELIA

Oh, the one with the cherry walnut paneling and the two forty- eight-inch televisions on satellite feed? No. Want to show me?

RICHARD

What about--

CORDELIA

Oh, her? She's happiest by herself.

They move off and leave Buffy standing alone.

CUT TO:

A side window. Xander pokes his head in, looks around and climbs in. He loses his balance and falls through the window onto the floor. He hops back up and takes a drink from a tray that's being passed around by a half-naked pledge.

XANDER

Cheers!

He walks into the next room, oblivious to Buffy standing behind him. She's looking the other way and doesn't see him either. He watches another girl pass by and then is distracted by a tray of hors-d'oeuvres being carried around by another pledge in drag. He reaches for the tray and follows it away.

Buffy turns around. She's bored and lonely and fidgets with her hands. She looks down at her drink and picks it up again. She stirs it idly for a moment, then realizes she really doesn't want it and puts it back down. She looks around the room at the people dancing.

The dance crowd separates for a moment and a handsome YOUNG MAN on the other side of the room looks directly at her and raises his drink to her. Tackle and Linebacker are standing behind him, watching.

She notices him, picks up her drink again and raises it. Tackle is drunk. He notices Buffy and starts to stagger toward her.

TACKLE

New girl!

YOUNG MAN

Easy, man!

TACKLE

Dance!

Buffy looks up in wide-eyed surprise when she sees the huge guy coming for her.

TACKLE

C'mon, sweetheart, yeah!

Tom appears in the nick of time and takes her arm.

TOM

Can I have this dance?

TACKLE

C'mon!

Tom pulls her onto the dance floor just as Tackle is about to crash into her. He looks up surprised at her disappearance. He's soon distracted by another girl, however and forgets all about Buffy.

BUFFY

Thanks.

TOM

No. We're not all a bunch of drunken louts. Some of us are sober louts. I'm really glad that you decided to come.

Buffy drops her eyes, not sure what to say.

TOM

And you're not.

BUFFY

No, it's... I shouldn't be here.

TOM

Because you're seeing someone.

BUFFY

No.

TOM

You're not seeing someone?

BUFFY

Someone's not seeing me.

TOM

So why shouldn't you be here?

BUFFY

Because I have obligations. People that I'm responsible for, or to, or... with, or... (gives up) It's complicated.

TOM

You're big on responsibility. I like that. But there's such a thing as being too mature. You should relax. Enjoy yourself once in a while.

BUFFY

You think I'm too mature?

TOM

(chuckles)
I talk too much. Have you picked up on that yet? Anyway, the Hulk is gone, so you don't have to dance with me.

Buffy smiles at him sweetly.

BUFFY

He might come back.

They continue dancing and Buffy begins to relax and enjoy herself.

CUT TO:

Xander, talking with two college girls. Another hors-d'oeuvre tray passes by and he helps himself. Xander starts playing with the food like they're action figures.

XANDER

Godzilla's attacking downtown Tokyo! Argh! Argh!

Richard is watching Xander with concern. Tackle and Linebacker join him.

TACKLE

Who's this dork?

RICHARD

Never seen him before in my life.

LINEBACKER

We got us a crasher!

The three of them approach Xander.

XANDER

(to the girls)
So have either of you seen a pair of girls here? One's about so high... (to the guys) Hey, guys!

TACKLE

(to Linebacker)
New pledge?

LINEBACKER

New pledge!

Tackle and Linebacker grab Xander and drag him off chanting.

TACKLE & LINEBACKER

New pledge! New pledge! New pledge! New pledge! New pledge!

CUT TO:

EXT. HOUSE-- BACKYARD PATIO-- NIGHT

Buffy strolls out of the house alone. It's chilly and she rubs her arms a bit to keep warm. She steps on a piece of broken glass and looks down. There are several small pieces scattered in the lawn and she bends to pick one up. She looks up above her and notices the door to the balcony has been boarded up. As he steps out onto the patio, Tom notices Buffy bent over examining the glass.

TOM

You okay?

Buffy drops the glass and covers.

BUFFY

Yeah. I was... just thinking.

Richard comes out and hands them both drinks.

RICHARD

To my Argentinean junk bonds that just matured into double digits!

TOM

To maturity.

BUFFY

What the hell. I'm tired of being mature.

She gulps the drink as the two boys raise their eyebrows and drink theirs also.

CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- LIBRARY-- NIGHT

Willow and Giles are playing word games, trying to figure out what the word on the bracelet might be. Willow types the words as they think of them.

WILLOW

Bent.

GILES

Sent.

WILLOW

Rent.

GILES

Uh, lent. Dent.

WILLOW

Went. Kent. Kent! That's it!

GILES

Her boyfriend's name was Kent?

WILLOW

No, Kent Preparatory School. Just outside of town. That's where I've seen these bracelets.

Willow begins typing furiously at the computer.

GILES

What are you doing?

WILLOW

Pulling up their school newsletter for the past few months. See if there's anything about--

GILES

A missing girl.

The most recent issue of the newsletter features a picture of Callie on the front page. The title of the article reads 'Callie Our Hearts & Prayers Are With You'.

CUT TO:

INT. HOUSE-- NIGHT

Xander is being hazed. Linebacker grabs his cheeks to pucker his lips and smears lipstick on them. Everyone is laughing hysterically.

TACKLE

C'mon, dance, pretty boy!

They've put a skirt and a huge bra on him. He does his usual lame dancing while the party guests cheer him on.

TACKLE

Keep it movin'! (laughs) C'mon! Shake it, don't break it! Wrap it up and I'll take it!

XANDER

Okay, big fun guys. Who's next?

Tackle puts a blonde wig on Xander's head.

TACKLE

You are, doll face! Keep on dancin'!
CUT TO:

Buffy at the front door. She's woozy from the drink and steadies herself against the wall.

TACKLE

Oh! Keep it up! Yes! C'mon! Keep it goin'!

Buffy makes her way over to the stairs. She knocks down a drink but can't react fast enough to catch it. She looks up at the commotion in the next room.

BUFFY

Tom?

Through hazy eyes she sees Xander dancing with his back to her. Slowly she starts to make her way up the stairs to find a place to rest. In the other room, Tackle and Linebacker continue to goad Xander on.

CUT TO:

INT. HOUSE-- UPSTAIRS BEDROOM-- NIGHT

Buffy pushes open the door, staggers in and bumps into a sculpture.

BUFFY

Oh, sorry...

She steadies herself and heads for the bed.

BUFFY

Okay. (crawls onto the bed) Nice bed. Just need to stop spinning for at least...

She lies down and falls asleep just as Richard shows up at the door. He pushes it open and peeks in. When he sees Buffy asleep on the bed, he walks in and rolls her over onto her back, smiling as he brushes his hand along her neck. He's suddenly yanked away from her and shoved against the wall.

TOM

Get away from her!

RICHARD

I wasn't doing anything!

TOM

I saw what you were doing.

RICHARD

I was just having a little fun.

TOM

Well, she's not here for your fun, you pervert. She's here for the pleasure of the one we serve.

RICHARD

(chastened)
In his name.

TOM

And that goes for the other one, too.

Pan from Tom down to Buffy on the bed and continues on to Cordelia, lying unconscious on the floor.

FADE OUT

ACT III

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- LIBRARY-- NIGHT

Giles picks up the printout of the newsletter's front page.

GILES

Callie Megan Anderson. Missing for over a week. No one's seen her, no one knows what happened to her.

WILLOW

This being Sunnydale and all I guess we can rule out something good.

GILES

I'm calling Buffy.

WILLOW

No!

GILES

Why not?

WILLOW

(nervous)
Because Buffy... and her mother...

GILES

Are sick. No, you're quite right. No, there's no point in disturbing them until we know more.

Willow turns her attention back to the PC. Some more information comes up.

WILLOW

You mean like, if there're others? Brittany Oswald, junior at St. Michael's... disappeared a year ago. So did Kelly Percell, sophomore at Grant.

GILES

A year.

WILLOW

Almost to the day.

GILES

An anniversary or perhaps some other event significant to the killer.

WILLOW

Killer? Now there's a killer? We don't know that there's a--

GILES

No, but this being Sunnydale and all. We need to know where Buffy found that bracelet and then we can begin our search there.

Giles reaches for the phone.

WILLOW

Good idea. Call Angel. (off Giles' look) He was there when Buffy found it. We're gonna need all the help we can get.

Giles agrees with her logic and starts dialing.

CUT TO:

EXT. HOUSE-- FRONT DOOR-- NIGHT

The party is over. Tackle shoves Xander out of the house. Linebacker throws him his clothes.

LINEBACKER

Party's over, jerkwater.

XANDER

Wait, a friend of mine was here.

TACKLE

Y'know, in that light, with that wig on and all... you're still butt- ugly!

They laugh and close the door in Xander's face. He drops his clothes, pulls off the wig and throws it down. He undoes the bra, takes it off and throws it down, too.

CUT TO:

INT. HOUSE-- BASEMENT-- NIGHT

Richard unsheathes a sword and stands behind a kneeling Tom. Tom has a series of symbols carved into his bare chest. Richard begins to carve another one into Tom's back. Pan over to the Buffy, Callie and Cordelia, shackled to the wall.

CORDELIA

Buffy? Where are we?

BUFFY

In the basement, far as I can tell.

CORDELIA

What's happening? What did they do to us?

BUFFY

They drugged us.

CORDELIA

Why? What are they gonna do to us?

BUFFY

I don't know.

CORDELIA

(whines)
I want to go home.

CALLIE

No one's going home. Ever. (re: Tom) Look, one of them's different than the others. Nicer.

BUFFY

(whispers)
Tom.

Richard is finished carving the symbol. He gets up and turns to the girls. Two brothers help him on with his robe.

CALLIE

He's the one to watch out for.

Buffy shakes her chain a bit, assessing its strength. Tom looks at her.

TOM

She's last.

CORDELIA

Last? For what?

Tom walks over to a large open-mouthed pit in the center of the room and picks up a bag.

CORDELIA

Who's first? Answer me! Who's first?

Tom lets three stones drop out of the bag and into his hand.

BUFFY

Three stones. (looks at Cordelia and Callie) Three of us.

Cordelia begins to panic.

CORDELIA

Buffy...

BUFFY

Stay calm. We'll get out of this.

Tom pours water over the stones.

CORDELIA

Why'd I ever let you talk me into coming here?

Buffy can't believe her ears. Tom is done with his stone-cleansing ritual and faces the girls. He stares intently at Buffy.

CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- LIBRARY-- NIGHT

Angel has arrived and is answering Giles' questions.

ANGEL

She found the bracelet in the cemetery. Near the south wall.

GILES

South wall.

Willow stares at the window in fascination. Angel casts no reflection in it.

GILES

(to Willow)
What are you doing?

WILLOW

Oh! Sorry. The reflection thing that you don't have. Angel, how do you shave? (back to business) South wall. That's near the college and... the fraternity house!

GILES

A fraternity?

Willow nods nervously.

ANGEL

Could they be taking these girls? (Willow nods again) Let's get out there.

Giles and Angel start to go. Willow holds back.

WILLOW

Buffy...

GILES

We don't know that it's concrete. Let's not disturb her until--

WILLOW

Is there! With Cordelia. They went to a party at the Zeta Kappa house.

GILES

She lied to me?

WILLOW

(nervous)
Well...

ANGEL

Did... she have a date?

WILLOW

Well... why do you think she went to that party? Because you gave her the brush-off! (to Giles) And you never let her do anything except work and patrol! And I know she's the Chosen One, but you're killing her with the pressure. I mean, she's sixteen going on forty! (to Angel) And you! I mean, you're gonna live forever. You don't have time for a cup of coffee?

Angel and Giles are speechless.

WILLOW

Okay, I don't feel better now and we've gotta help Buffy.

She hurries out of the library. Giles and Angel follow shortly behind.

CUT TO:

EXT. HOUSE-- STREET-- NIGHT

Xander walks past the few cars parked in front of the house. He's still wearing the skirt and carries his clothes in a bundle.

XANDER

(to himself)
One day I'll have money. Prestige. Power. And on that day... they'll still have more.

He walks past Cordelia's car and it looks familiar to him. He walks around to the back of the car and checks and the license plate confirms it: QUEEN C. He looks up at the house a moment and then starts back toward it.

CUT TO:

INT. HOUSE-- BASEMENT-- NIGHT

The ritual is continuing. Tom is standing on the basement stairs holding the sword.

TOM

Machida.

BROTHERS

In His name.

TOM

We who serve You, we who receive all that You bestow, call upon You in this holy hour.

BROTHERS

In this holy hour.

He walks toward Richard, holding the sword horizontally in both hands.

TOM

We have no wealth, no possession... except that which You give us.

BROTHERS

Except that which You give us.

He places the sword on Richard's outstretched arms.

TOM

We have no power, no place in the world... except that which You give us.

BROTHERS

Except that which You give us.

Richard hugs the sword to his chest, crossing his hands over his heart. Buffy and Cordelia whisper excitedly among themselves.

CORDELIA

What are they, some kind of cult or something?

BUFFY

Yeah, a psycho cult.

CORDELIA

You've gotta do something.

TOM

It's been a year since our last offering.

Richard lowers the sword and rests the tip on the floor.

TOM

A year in which our bounty overflowed. We come before You with fresh offerings.

CORDELIA

Offerings? He's talking about us?

CALLIE

Do you see anyone else chained up in here?

TOM

Accept our offering, Dark Lord, and bless us with Your power. Machida!

BROTHERS

Machida!

Tom tosses the stones one at a time into the pit in the center of the basement.

CORDELIA

(frightened)
What's down there?

TOM

Come forth and let Your terrible countenance look upon Your servants and their humble offering. We call You, Machida.

BROTHERS

In His name. Machida.

CORDELIA

There's something down there and he's gonna throw us down there with it.

BUFFY

I don't think so.

CORDELIA

No? Well, that's good! That, that's--

BUFFY

I don't think we go to it. I think it comes to us.

CORDELIA

(terrified)
Ohhh! No!

Tom looks up, awaiting Machida's arrival. Close in on the pit as Machida suddenly rises out of it.

CORDELIA

(screams)
Oh, my god!

Buffy stares in wide-eyed horror at the massive anthropomorphic snake creature, green and covered with scales. It sees the girls and lets out a blood-freezing roar. Cordelia keeps screaming at the top of her lungs, hysterical with terror.

FADE OUT

ACT IV

INT. HOUSE-- BASEMENT-- NIGHT

Resume. Buffy tries desperately to rip her chains from the ceiling.

CORDELIA

C'mon, Buffy! Oh, my god!

Machida remains stationary and spreads his arms.

TOM

For He shall rise from the depths, and we shall tremble before Him.

Pan down and over to Tom.

TOM

He who is the source of all we inherit and all we possess. Machida.

BROTHERS

Machida.

TOM

And if He is pleased with our offerings, then our fortune shall increase.

BROTHERS

Machida. Let our fortunes increase.

TOM

And on the tenth day of the tenth month He shall be enhungered. And we shall feed Him.

Machida gazes over at the girls.

CORDELIA

Feed him?

Machida rises before her.

CORDELIA

Feed him!

Buffy renews her efforts to break the chains from the ceiling.

CORDELIA

Oh, no!
CUT TO:

EXT. HOUSE-- NIGHT

Angel, Willow and Giles walk through the bushes from the street to the lawn.

WILLOW

Looks like everyone's gone.

A robed figure approaches them from behind. When a twig cracks under his feet, Angel instantly spins around to confront him.

ANGEL

Hey!

Xander lifts the hood from his head.

XANDER

Hey! What are you guys doing here?

WILLOW

A bunch of girls are missing and the Zeta Kappas may be involved... and Buffy. Are you wearing makeup?

Xander smears the lipstick off with his fingers.

XANDER

No. I think Buffy's still inside somewhere with Cordelia. Her car's still here.

GILES

(re: robe)
Why are you wearing that?

XANDER

Oh, I found it in their trash. I saw them through the window. They were wearing robes and went down to the basement. I was gonna use it to sneak in.

GILES

They may be involved in some kind of ritual.

WILLOW

With the missing girls.

Enraged, Angel's vampiric side come to the fore.

ANGEL

With Buffy!

XANDER

Okay, that is the guy you want to party with.
CUT TO:

INT. HOUSE-- BASEMENT-- NIGHT

Machida closes in on Cordelia and she screams. Buffy tries to distract him.

BUFFY

Hey, reptile boy!

TOM

(angry)
No woman speaks to him!

BUFFY

You don't want her. Look at her. She's all skin and bones. Half an hour later you'll be hungry.

Tom strides over to Buffy, holding his sword. He backhands her across the face.

TOM

I told you to shut up! You speak again and I'll cut your throat.
CUT TO:

EXT. HOUSE-- NIGHT

With his robe back in place, Xander steps up to the front door holding his head down and knocks. Tackle answers.

XANDER

Got locked out dumping the trash. Let me in. I don't want to miss the, uh... you know what.

Tackle absentmindedly waves him in.

TACKLE

Come on.

Xander walks in and throws off his hood.

XANDER

Where are they?

He punches Tackle in the face sending him to the floor but really hurts his hand in the process. Linebacker rushes toward Xander but is brought up short as Angel steps inside and lays him out with one blow. They come under no further attack and Giles and Willow make their way cautiously inside.

CUT TO:

INT. HOUSE-- BASEMENT-- NIGHT

Two brothers have unchained Cordelia and hold her still for Machida. Tom looks up when he hears the commotion upstairs.

TOM

Something's going on upstairs. Go. Go!

Several of them rush upstairs to see what's going on. Buffy looks up at her chains again, then back at Machida.

TOM

Feed, Dark Lord!

Machida rises above Cordelia, then moves in to take her from the brothers' grip. She screams and struggles to no avail. Buffy gives her restraints one final mighty pull and they finally break loose from the ceiling. She launches into Machida, delivering a vicious blow to the face. As he recoils in pain, Buffy fends off the brothers who attack en masse, Tom swinging his sword to defend his master.

CUT TO:

INT. HOUSE-- CORRIDOR-- NIGHT

Angel slams one of the brothers to the floor. Willow jumps over him, runs to the basement door and goes in. Xander is on Tackle's back, punching him and Giles is holding his own against the brothers as well.

XANDER

That's for the wig! (punches) That's for the bra!

Willow comes running back out of the basement, looking slightly terrified.

WILLOW

Some guy's attacking Buffy with a sword! Also there's a really big snake!

Angel punches another brother and sends him reeling across the room, causing Willow to jump back as the unfortunate lad collapses in a heap right in front of her. Xander has really come into his own, unleashing his pent-up frustrations on Tackle.

XANDER

That's for the makeup! And that's for the last sixteen and a half years!

His last punch lands squarely and knocks Tackle unconscious.

WILLOW

Guys! Buffy! Snake! Basement! Now!

She heads back into the basement as the others jump to follow. Angel casually punches out the last brother who tries to stop them.

CUT TO:

INT. HOUSE-- BASEMENT-- NIGHT

Tom is enraged at Buffy's defiance.

TOM

You bitch! I'll serve you to Him in pieces.

He attacks her with the sword, but she catches the blade with the chains she still has wrapped around her wrists. As he struggles, she loops the chains around Tom's neck and yanks him toward her.

BUFFY

Tom, you talk too much.

She shoves him away and he shoots across the room and flips over a table, landing in a heap on the other side. Machida seizes Cordelia and starts to drag her away as the Gang rushes down the stairs. Buffy picks up Tom's sword and leaps onto the edge of the pit. She holds the sword above her head, ready to strike.

BUFFY

Let her go, wormy!

Machida ignores her and continues to menace Cordelia. Buffy slices downward and slashes into Machida, ripping a huge gash through his scaly hide. He drops Cordelia and rears back, screaming in pain. He sways in place for a moment, stunned that his food has managed to vanquish him and then simply collapses to the floor, dead. Buffy face wrinkles at the grossness of it all.

Willow runs over to free Callie from her restraints and Giles helps Cordelia up.

Cordelia wraps Angel up in a tight embrace.

CORDELIA

You did it! You saved us! I've never been so happy to see anyone in my whole... (lets go) You guys. (cries) I just... hate you guys! The weirdest things always happen when you're around!

Angel finds Tom and lifts him up, roughly dragging him over to the others. Cordelia grabs him by the shirt.

CORDELIA

And you! You're going to jail for fifteen thousand years!

She lets go of him and starts up the stairs. Angel shoves Tom up the stairs ahead of him. Giles puts his fists on his hips and gives Buffy a stern look. She looks down in shame.

BUFFY

I told one lie, I had one drink.

GILES

Yes, and you were very nearly devoured by a giant demon snake. The words 'let that be a lesson' are a tad redundant at this juncture.

BUFFY

I'm sorry.

Giles softens, realizing he's at least partially to blame himself.

GILES

So am I. I drive you too hard because I know what you have to face. From now on no more pushing, no more prodding. Just an inordinate amount of nudging.

Buffy smiles at him and then starts up the stairs. Giles takes her arm and joins her.

CUT TO:

INT. THE BRONZE-- NIGHT

JONATHAN waits anxiously at the bar for a large cup of cappuccino.

JONATHAN

C'mon, hurry!

BARMAID

Here you go.

She hands him the large cup and saucer and he takes it and a plate with a muffin over to Cordelia.

CORDELIA

Thank you, Jonathan. (looks at the cappuccino) Did we forget something?

JONATHAN

Um... cinnamon, chocolate, half-caf, nonfat.

Cordelia stares at him expectantly. He realizes his mistake.

JONATHAN

Extra foam!

Cordelia takes the muffin and waves the cappuccino away. She walks past Xander, Willow and Buffy at their table. Xander is reading the Sunnydale Press.

CORDELIA

(re: Jonathan)
Young men are the only way to go.

XANDER

Says here that they've all been sentenced to consecutive life sentences. Investigators found the bones of missing girls in a huge cavern beneath the frat house. And older bones dating back fifty years. A surprising number of corporations whose chairmen and founders are former Delta Zeta Kappas are suffering from falling profits, IRS raids... oh, and suicides in the boardroom. Hmm. Starve a snake, lose a fortune. Boy, I guess the rich really are different, huh?

WILLOW

(to Buffy)

Have you heard from Angel? When he got so mad about you being in danger and changed into a grr, it was the most amazing thing I ever saw. I mean, how many guys can...

Willow trails off as Angel walks down the stairs and stands behind Xander.

XANDER

Angel, Angel, Angel. Does every conversation we have have to come around to that freak? (notices Angel) Hey, man, how you doin'?

ANGEL

Buffy.

BUFFY

Angel.

XANDER

(in a deep voice)
Xander!

ANGEL

I hear this place serves coffee. I thought maybe you and I should get some. Sometime. If you want.

A smile touches the corners of Buffy's mouth.

BUFFY

Yeah. Sometime. I'll let you know.

Angel eyes her suspiciously. Buffy gets up and leaves with a big smile on her face.

FADE TO BLACK
END