[Transcript of "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" episode What's My Line? (part 1) at buffyology.com.]
In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer.
The annual Career Fair is going on full-swing in the lounge. WILLOW walks in and looks around at some of the displays being set up on her way to sign up for the Career Aptitude Test. BUFFY and XANDER are already sitting at a table filling out their tests.
'Are you a people person or do you prefer keeping your own company?' Well, what if I'm a people person who keeps his own company by default?
Willow heads for their table with a test to join them.
So mark 'none of the above'.
Well, there are no boxes for 'none of the above'. That would introduce too many variables into their mushroom-head, number- crunching little world.
I'm sensing bitterness.
No, it's just these people can't tell from one multiple-choice test what we're gonna be doing for the rest of our lives. It's ridiculous!
I'm kinda curious to find out what sort of career I could have.
What and suck all the spontaneity out of being young and stupid? I'd rather live in the dark.
You're not going to be young forever.
Yes, but I'll always be stupid. (beat) Okay, let's not all rush to disagree.
You're not stupid.
Xander acknowledges with a grin, then looks up when he hears CORDELIA. She has a clipboard and is taking her test as she walks into the lounge accompanied by two of her groupies.
'I aspire to help my fellow man.' (marks her test) Check. As long as he's not smelly, dirty or something gross.
Cordelia Chase, always ready to give a helping hand to the rich and the pretty.
Which, lucky me, excludes you. Twice.
Xander turns away, stung, and Cordelia just walks away followed by her cronies.
Is murder always a crime?
Do I like shrubs?
That's between you and your god.
What'd you put?
I came down on the side of shrubs.
Go shrubs! Okay! (frustrated) Uhhh! I shouldn't even be bothering with this. It's all mootville for me. No matter what my aptitude test says, we already know my deal.
Yup, high risk, sub-minimum wage...
Pointy wooden things...
Then why are you even taking the test?
It's Principal Snyder's hoop of the week. He's not happy unless I'm jumping. Believe me, I would not be here otherwise.
You're not even a teensy weensy bit curious about what kind of career you could've had? I mean, if you weren't already the Slayer and all.
Do the words 'sealed in fate' ring any bells for you, Will? Why go there?
Willow's feelings are hurt.
Y'know, with that kind of attitude you could've had a bright future as an employee at the DMV.
I'm sorry, it's just... unless Hell freezes over and every vamp in Sunnydale puts in for early retirement, I'd say my future is pretty much a non-issue.
DRUSILLA is standing at one end of a large table dealing her tarot cards. At the other end, SPIKE is looking on as DALTON tries to translate the ancient text in the book that they stole from Giles' collection.
Read it again.
Well, I'm not sure. It could be... deprimere... ille... bubula... linter.
Spike pages through a dictionary.
Debase, the beef, canoe.
Dalton looks up at Spike and smiles a stupid smile. Spike punches him right in the face.
Why does that strike me as not right?
Dalton looks at him sheepishly and turns his attention back to the book.
Spike, come dance?
Give us some peace, would you? Can't you see I'm working?
Drusilla pulls back her hand and begins to pout and whine like a puppy. Spike run over to her.
Oh, I'm sorry, kitten. It's just this manuscript. Supposed to hold your cure, but it reads like gibberish. Even Dalton here, the big brain, he can't make heads or tails of it.
Drusilla puts her hand to her head.
I... I need to change Miss Edith.
She takes a few steps and then puts her other hand to her head as well, bends over and whines. Spike rushes to her, puts his arms around her and pulls her back up.
Oh, forgive me! You know I can't stand to see you like this. We're runnin' out of time. It's that bloody Slayer! Whenever I turn around she's muckin' up the works.
Shh. Shh. You'll make it right. I know.
Spike puts his hands around her neck and kisses her gently but firmly. Then he turns his attention back to Dalton. Drusilla reaches for the next tarot card.
Well. Come on, now. Enlighten me.
Well, it looks like Latin, but it's not. I'm not even sure it's a language, actually, I--
Then make it a language! Isn't that what a transcriber does?
Well, not exactly...
He yelps as Spike grabs him by the shirt and lifts him from his chair.
I want the cure.
Don't...
Why not? Some people find pain very inspirational.
He punches Dalton in the gut, doubling him over. Drusilla looks up from her tarot cards.
He can't help you. Not without... (points at a card) the key.
The key? You mean this book is in some kind of code?
Yeah.
Dalton nods weakly, still in pain. Spike shoves him back into his chair and walks over to Drusilla. He looks at one of her cards. A mausoleum is pictured on it.
Is that where we'll find this key?
Yeah!
I'll send the boys, pronto!
Now will you dance?
I'll dance with you, pet.
He pulls her up from her chair and lifts her into his arms.
On the Slayer's grave!
He starts to spin around with her in his arms.
Opening credit sequence.
Buffy walks through at a relaxed pace. She pauses for a moment, but continues on, scanning the graveyard around her as she goes. She stops again when she hears clinking noises coming from a mausoleum. She looks at it and sees light coming from inside. She walks over to it, pushes the door open a bit and peeks in.
Dalton is chipping away at the wall, exposing a chamber behind it. He reaches in for something as Buffy pulls her head back out and closes the door. She walks down the steps and turns around to wait for him to come out. A few moments later Dalton opens the door and steps out.
Does 'rest in peace' have no sanctity to you people? Oh, I forgot. You're not a people.
Another vampire moves behind her. She lays into him, punching kicking and snapping his arm in two before plunging a stake into his heart. He explodes into ashes.
One down, (sees Dalton is missing) one gone.
She looks around, but sees no sign of him anywhere.
ANGEL looking around Buffy's room while he waits for her to get home. Buffy climbs up to her window and looks in and sees him at her bookcase. Angel takes her stuffed pig from the shelf. Without a word Buffy reaches for her bag and tosses it loudly through the window and onto the floor. Angel turns around, startled, gently squeezing the pig.
Buffy! You scared me.
Now you know what it feels like, Stealth Guy.
She crouches down by her bag and reaches into her hair to pull out a few clips.
Just dropping by for some quality time with Mr. Gordo?
Excuse me?
The pig.
Oh. (chuckles) I, uh--
What's up?
Nothing.
He tosses the pig onto a chair and walks to the foot of her bed. She drops her hair clips into a desk drawer and faces him.
Only you don't have a nothing face. You have a something face. And you don't have to whisper. Mom's in L.A. till Thursday. Art buying or something.
Then why'd you come in through the window?
Habit?
I wanted to make sure you're okay. I had a bad feeling.
There's a surprise. Angel comes with bad news.
He turns away, tired of the same old reaction from her.
Oh, god, I'm sorry. Look, I've been Cranky Miss all day. It's not you.
Well, what is it then?
It's nothing.
Angel isn't buying it.
We're having this thing at school.
Career Week?
How did you know?
I lurk.
Right. Well, then you know it's a whole week of 'what's my line', only... I don't get to play. Sometimes I just want...
You want what?
Buffy looks into the full-length mirror across the room. She's alone in the reflection.
It's okay.
The Cliff's Notes version? I want a normal life. Like I had before.
Before me.
No Angel, it's not you. You're the one freaky thing in my freaky world that still makes sense to me. I just get messed sometimes. I wish we could be regular kids.
Yeah. I'll never be a kid.
Okay, then a regular kid and her cradle robbing, creature-of-the- night boyfriend.
Angel can't help but let out a laugh. Buffy smiles back. He sees a picture on her desk and picks it up. It's of her as a child on ice-skates.
Was this part of your normal life?
Oh, my god. My Dorothy Hamill phase. My room in L.A. was pretty much a shrine. Dorothy dolls, Dorothy posters, I even got the Dorothy haircut, thereby securing a place for myself in the geek hall of fame.
Hmm, you wanted to be like her?
I wanted to be her. My parents were fighting all the time and skating was an escape. I felt safe.
When was the last time you put on your skates?
About a couple of hundred demons ago.
There's a rink out past Route 17. It's... closed on Tuesdays.
Tomorrow's Tuesday.
I know.
Cordelia and Xander are going over the results of the career aptitude test posted on a bulletin board. She finds herself in the A-D list.
Oh, here I am. 'Personal Shopper or Motivational Speaker.' Neato!
Motivational speaker? On what? "Ten ways to a more annoying you?"
She pages through the H-K list and finds Xander's results.
Oh, what about you? You're...
She looks at him and then just giggles and leaves. Xander frantically looks himself up.
What? What?!
Willow and Buffy leave the school and start across the quad.
You and Angel are going skating? Alone?
Unless some unforeseen evil pops up. But I'm in full 'see no evil' mode.
Angel ice-skating.
I know. Two worlds collide.
Xander meets up with them.
Wouldn't you two say you know me about as well as anyone else? Maybe even better than I know myself?
What's this about?
When you look at me, do you think 'prison guard'?
Willow and Buffy giggle.
Crossing guard, maybe, but prison guard?
They just put up the assignments for the career fair and according to my test results, I can look forward to being gainfully employed in the growing field of corrections.
Well, at least you'll be on the right side of the bars.
Ha, ha, ha, ha! Laugh now, missy. They assigned you to the booth for law enforcement professionals.
As in police?
As in polyester, doughnuts and brutality.
Buffy whines.
But, doughnuts!
Well, I'll just jump off that bridge when I come to it.
She spots GILES walking with a tall stack of old books in his arms.
First I have to deal with Giles. He's on this Tony Robbins hyper-efficiency kick. Expects me to check in every day after homeroom. (to herself) Police?
Xander starts to follow but Willow holds him back.
You didn't check to see which seminar I was assigned to, did you?
I did and you weren't.
I wasn't what?
On the list.
But I handed in my test! I used a Number Two pencil!
Then I guess you must have passed.
It's not the kind of test you pass or fail.
Your name wasn't up there, Will.
Willow is confused and worried.
Giles walks to the table, balancing his stack of books. He carefully sets them down and then lunges to stop them from toppling to the floor. Buffy puts her hand on top of the stack just as he does and they push the books back up onto the table. Giles is relieved.
Buffy. Thank you. I've been indexing the Watcher diaries covering the last couple of centuries. You would be amazed at how numbingly pompous and long-winded some of these Watchers were.
Color me stunned.
So I trust last night's patrol was fruitful?
Semi. I caught one out of two vamps after they stole something from this jumbo mausoleum.
They were stealing?
Yeah! They had tools, flashlights, whole nine yards. What does that mean, anyway? 'Whole nine yards'? Nine yards of what? (whines) Now it's gonna bug me all day. Giles, you're in pace mode. What gives?
This vampire who escaped, did you see what he took?
No, but I could take a guess and say it was something old.
You made no effort to find out what was taken?
Have a cow, Giles! I just figured it was your everyday vamp hijinks.
Well, what if it wasn't? This could be very serious! I mean, if you'd made an effort to be more thorough in your observations--
Y'know, if you don't like the way I'm doing my job, why don't you find somebody else? Oh, that's right, there can only be one. As long as I'm alive, there is no one else. Well, there you go! I don't have to be the Slayer. I could be dead.
That wasn't terribly funny. You notice I don't laugh.
Wouldn't be much of a change. Either way I'm bored, constricted, I never get to shop and my hair and fingernails still continue to grow. So really, when you think about it, what's the diff?
Do we have to be introspective now? Our only concern is to discover what was stolen from that mausoleum last night.
Spike is holding an intricately carved golden cross on a red velvet pillow. Drusilla waves her hands over it.
This is it then?
It hums. I can hear it.
Once you're well again, we'll have a coronation down Main Street and invite everyone and drink for seven days and seven nights.
What about the Slayer? She almost blew the whole thing for us. She's trouble.
You don't say? Trouble? She's the gnat in my ear! The gristle in my teeth! She's the bloody thorn in my bloody side!
He violently kicks a table.
Spike?
We gotta do something. We'll never complete your cure with that bitch breathing down our necks (beat) I need to bring in the big guns. They'll take care of her once and for all.
Big guns?
The Order of Taraka.
The bounty hunters?
Drusilla deals three tarot cards. One shows a Cyclops, another a centipede and the third a panther.
They're coming to my party. Three of them.
Spike looks down at the cards.
Yes, but... the Order of Taraka, I mean... isn't that overkill?
No, I think it's just enough kill.
The Career Fair is still in full swing in the school lounge. Xander walks in and spots Willow.
Willow! What are you doing here? Fly! Be free, little bird, you defy category!
I'm looking for Buffy.
Oh, she went with Giles about an hour ago. Some kind of field trip deal.
If she doesn't get back soon, Snyder's really... (spots him on the stairs) ...done a great job with the fair this year, hasn't he, Xander?
Principal SNYDER stalks over to them as they cower in fear.
Principal Snyder! Great career fair, sir! Really! In fact, I'm so inspired by your leadership, I'm thinking principal school. I want to walk in your shoes. Not your actual shoes, of course, because you're a tiny person. Not tiny in the small sense, of course. Okay, I'm done now.
Where is she?
Who?
You know who.
You mean Buffy? (looks around) I just saw her--
And don't feed me that 'I just saw her a minute ago, she's around here somewhere' story.
But I did... just see her a minute ago, and she is... around here somewhere!
For what it's worth--
It's worth nothing, Harris. Whatever comes out of your mouth is a meaningless waste of breath. An airborne toxic event.
Well, I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to be so honest with me. And I can only hope that one day I'm in the position to be that honest with you.
Fascinating.
Well, love to stay and cha but I've got an appointment with the warden on standard riot procedure. Ciao.
Okay, see ya.
As Xander leaves, two men in dark suits approach Willow. They appear to be job fair RECRUITERS.
Willow Rosenberg? Come with us, please?
Excuse me?
Let's walk.
The two men take her by the arms and guide her to a curtained-off area of the lounge. They pull the curtain aside for Willow. She steps through and they follow her, letting the curtain fall closed again behind them. A waiter in a white jacket and black bow tie holds an hors-d'oeuvre tray up for her.
Try the canapé. It's excellent.
Willow shakes her head to the waiter and he immediately departs.
What is all this?
You've been selected to meet with Mr. McCarthy, head recruiter for the world's leading software concern. The jet was delayed by fog at Sea-Tac but he should be here any minute. Please, (indicates the couch) make yourself comfortable.
But I didn't even get my test back.
The test was irrelevant. We've been tracking you for some time.
Is that a good thing?
I would think so. We're extremely selective. In fact, only one other Sunnydale student met our criteria.
Without another word the two recruiters turn and leave through the curtain. Willow is a bit stunned but stays where she is. She turns around to survey her surroundings and notices the other lucky student sitting on the couch. OZ is sitting there studying another tray of canapé. She steps over to the couch, sits down on the opposite end, folds her hands in her lap and looks over at Oz. He turns to look at her and when he sees her he does a double take and realizes she's the girl he's noticed twice before. He looks down at the tray in his hand and offers it to her.
Canapé?
Buffy swings open the metal gate and strides in, holding a flashlight. Giles is running to catch up with her.
Buffy! Slow down! Please!
Giles, we have work to do, remember? Get with the program.
Giles holds his chest as tries to catch his breath. They head for the mausoleum.
You're behaving remarkably immaturely.
You know why? I am immature. I'm a teen. I have yet to mature.
I was simply offering some constructive criticism.
No! You were harsh! God, you act like I picked this gig. But remember, I'm the picked.
What you have is more than a gig. It's a sacred duty. Which shouldn't prevent you from eventually procuring some more gainful form of employment. Such as I did.
Uh, Giles, it's one thing to be a Watcher and a librarian. They go together like chicken and... another chicken or... two chickens or... something... you know what I'm saying! The point is, no one blinks an eye if you want to spend all your days with books. What am I supposed to do? Carve stakes for a nursery?
Giles has moved in front of her as they make their way past several gravestones.
Point taken. I must, however, admit, I've never really... well, now there's a thought. Have you ever considered law enforcement?
Buffy stops in her tracks as Giles turns to face her. She looks at him like he's crazy. A moment later her expression changes to exasperation as she raises her flashlight and jerks it at the mausoleum behind him.
What? (turns to look) Oh!
They walk up the steps and go inside.
The chamber is bare except for two large stone vases and a pile of rubble on the floor. They move down the steps. Giles reaches for the flashlight.
May I?
Be my guest.
She hands him the flashlight and he turns it on, walking over to where the wall has been smashed.
It's a reliquary, used to house items of religious significance. Most commonly a finger or some other body part from a saint.
Note to self... Religion: freaky.
She leans against the wall as Giles scans the rest of the room with the flashlight. He spots a name engraved on a stone high above.
Du Lac. Oh dear, oh dear.
I hate when you say that.
Josephus du Lac was buried here. He belonged to a religious sect that was excommunicated by the Vatican at the turn of the century.
Excommunicated and sent to Sunnydale. There's a guy big with the sinning.
You remember the book that was stolen from the library by a vampire a few weeks ago?
Yeah.
It was written by Du Lac. Damn it! I let it slip my mind with all the excitement.
I'm guessing it wasn't a 'Taste of the Vatican' cookbook.
They head out of the mausoleum.
No, the book was said to contain rituals and spells that reap unspeakable evil. However, it was written in archaic Latin so that nobody but the sect members could understand it.
So, everything's cool then.
It's not. First the book was taken from the library and now the vampires have stolen something from Du Lac's tomb.
You think they figured out how to read the book?
Something's coming, Buffy, and whatever it is, I can guarantee it's not good.
Pan from the depot building to a bus just arriving as the announcement is being made.
Bus 219, continuing service to Los Angeles, now arriving in Sunnydale at the west gate.
The doors of the bus open and the passengers begin to file out. A pair of heavy steel-toed boots hits the bottom step of the bus and stops. Pan up the man's body past his leather jacket and long hair to his face. A scar runs across his left eye, apparently blinded by an injury. OCTARUS surveys the scene for a moment, then steps off of the bus.
The street in front of the Summers home. NORMAN PFISTER, a salesman, walks down the street carrying a large case and eyes the 'Summers' nameplate hanging from their mailbox. He looks up at the house but continues past to the next house and walks up to the front door. He knocks and MRS. KALISH, the Summers' neighbor, answers.
Mrs. Kalish?
Yes?
Hello, I'm Norman Pfister with (holds up the case) Blush Beautiful Skin Care. I'm not selling anything, so I'm not asking you to buy, just to accept a few free samples.
Free?
Absolutely.
Mrs. Kalish looks him up and down and nods him into her home. He walks in and she follows him, closing the door behind her. We hear Mrs. Kalish's blood- curdling screams.
Mrs. Kalish's scream blends into the noise of a 747 arcing overhead as it comes in for a landing. Several jets are parked at the gates.
The cargo door opens and a baggage HANDLER walks up the loading ramp and steps in. He notices that the cargo nets have been torn open and takes off his headphones in confusion.
What the hell?
He looks closer, suspecting someone's there.
Hey, you're not supposed to be in here!
He pulls out his flashlight and holds it like a club.
Hey, c'mon!
He moves further in, searching for the intruder. He sees a shadow moving behind a baggage container. Suddenly a foot shoots out and kicks him in the face, in the gut and again in the face. The fighting moves are very similar to what we've seen Buffy do. He falls onto his back unconscious. The assailant moves toward the cargo door and peeks out. It is KENDRA, a beautiful young dark-skinned Caribbean girl with large hoop earrings and long tied-back curly hair. She cautiously makes her way out of the plane, keeping a careful watch for anyone who might see her.
Willow, Buffy and Xander sit at the research table.
So Giles is sure that the vampire who stole his book is connected to the one you slayed last night? (beat) Or is it slew?
Giles walks out of the stacks with a National Geographic magazine.
Both are correct and yes, I'm sure. Du Lac was both a theologian and a mathematician. This article describes an invention of his, which he called 'The Du Lac Cross'.
So why go to all the trouble of inventing something and then giving it a weak name like that? I mean, I'd have gone with 'The Cross-o-matic' or 'The Amazing Mr. Cross'.
The girls just stare at him, speechless in the face of his inanity. Giles chooses to ignore him completely. He shows Willow a picture of the cross in the magazine.
The cross was more than a mere symbol. It was used to understand certain mystical texts, to decipher hidden meanings and so forth.
So you're saying these vampires went to all this hassle for your basic decoder ring?
Actually, yes, I suppose I am.
According to this, Du Lac destroyed every cross except the one buried with him.
Why destroy your own work?
Perhaps he feared what might happen if it fell into the wrong hands.
A fear we'll soon get to experience for ourselves up close and personal.
Unless we can preempt their plans.
How?
By learning what's in the book before they do. Which means we can expect to be here later tonight.
Goody! Research party!
Will, you need a life in the worst way.
Speaking of, I really have to bail, but I promise I'll be back bright and early tomorrow and ready to slay.
This is a matter of some urgency, Buffy.
I realize that. Well, you have to admit, I kinda lack in the book area. I mean, you guys are the brains, I'd only be here for moral support anyway.
That's untrue, Buffy. You totally contribute. You go for snacks!
Buffy looks to Willow for help.
She should go. Y'know, gather her strength.
Perhaps you're right. There may be fierce battles ahead.
Buffy makes tracks for the door.
But Ho-Hos are a vital part of my cognitive process!
Sorry, Xand. Someplace I have to be.
Giles and Xander give exchange a knowing look.
The rink is empty except for Buffy skating gracefully by herself. She makes use of the whole rink, doing practiced turns and spins. A minute later Buffy skates quickly by the staging area; focus on a stage panel begin pushed slowly open from the inside; the one-eyed bounty hunter, Octarus, looks out at her.
Buffy skates along, still by herself. She tries a difficult maneuver but wipes out and slides backward against the side wall. As she starts to get up, Octarus reaches down, puts his arm around her neck and lifts her off the ice. He pushes her down on the railing and begins to remorselessly choke the life from her. Buffy tries to pry his hands from her throat as she struggles to desperately to breathe. Suddenly, Angel comes racing across the ice, his face twisted in a vampiric scowl of rage.
Buffy!
He leaps and tackles the bounty hunter, knocking him off of Buffy. She falls from the railing to her knee onto the ice as Angel lifts the bounty hunter to his feet and punches him in the face. The bounty hunter isn't fazed at all and returns with a double-fisted punch to Angel's stomach, sending him reeling back into the wall. Angel comes off the wall and jabs him in the face again but the bounty hunter just shrugs it off. He punches Angel in the face and gut, staggering him.
The bounty hunter grabs Angel by the throat and lifts him up as a recovered Buffy comes skating toward them at a brisk pace. At the last moment, the bounty hunter turns to face her as she seizes a hanging net and uses it as leverage to swing her feet parallel to the ground. The blade of her skates slam into his throat, crushing his trachea. He drops Angel and holds his own neck, unable to breathe. He staggers out onto the ice and collapses there, dead.
Drusilla takes the tarot card of the Cyclops and turns it over.
He's passing under our feet right now.
No worries. We're close to decoding the manuscript. We just need a bit more time.
Time is ours. It brings the Slayer closer to them.
Pan and linger on the other two cards.
Buffy rubs her injured knee as Angel crouches over the bounty hunter and lifts his hand to inspect his ring.
The Hellmouth presents: Dead Guys On Ice. Not exactly the evening we were aiming for.
Angel looks closely at the ring.
You're in danger. Do you know what the ring means?
I just killed a Super Bowl champ?
I'm serious! You should go home and wait until you hear from me.
He drops the bounty hunter's hand and stands up. He still has the face of a vampire. Buffy skates over to him.
Are you okay?
She the cut above Angel's eye.
What about you? That cut!
Forget about me. This is bad, Buffy. We gotta get you out of here.
What? You mean hide?
Let's just get you someplace safe!
No! Your eye!
She reaches back up to him and he shakes her off.
Hey! Don't be a baby. I'm not going to hurt you.
It's not that. I...
What?
You shouldn't have to touch me when I'm like this.
She looks up into his yellow eyes.
Oh. I didn't even notice.
She removes her glove and reaches up to touch his brow and his wound, brushing gently across and down his cheek. She moves closer to kiss him. He responds and they kiss gently. The kiss becomes more passionate as she reaches her hand behind his neck to draw him closer.
Off to the side, we see Kendra silently watching the two of them embrace.
Giles inspects the ring under a magnifying lamp. Buffy is sitting on the steps holding an icepack to her knee. Willow and Xander are at the table.
This guy was hard-core, Giles. And Angel was power-freaked by that ring.
I'm afraid he was not overreacting. This ring is worn only by members of the Order of Taraka. It's a society of deadly assassins dating back to King Solomon.
And didn't they beat the Elks this year in the Sunnydale Adult Bowling League championships?
Their credo is to sow discord and kill the unwary.
Bowling is a vicious game.
That's enough, Xander!
Xander realizes he's gone too far.
Sorry. It's just not the time for jokes. I need to think.
These assassins, why are they after me?
'Cause you're the scourge of the underworld?
I haven't been that scourgey lately.
I don't know, I don't know. I think the best thing we can do is to find a secure location. Somewhere out of the way you can go until we decide on the best course of action.
Okay, now you and Angel have both said to head for the hills. Are you saying I can't handle this, that I'm not strong enough to fight these people?
They're a breed apart, Buffy. Unlike vampires they have no earthly desires but to collect their bounty. They find a target and... they eliminate it. You can kill as many of them as you like, it won't make any difference. Where there's one, there will be another and another. They won't stop coming until the job is done.
POV: Buffy's house through binoculars.
Each one of them works alone.
Norman is patiently observing and waiting.
His own way.
Mrs. Kalish is lying on the floor dead. A trail of mealworms leads from her over to where Norman is sitting in a chair.
Some are human, some... are not. You won't know who they are until they strike.
Norman takes the binoculars from his eyes. There are mealworms crawling over his shoes. His hand and part of his forearm are missing and the mealworms crawl all over it. They worms bind together and the missing appendage takes shape. Norman reaches over and takes a sip from a cup of tea.
Buffy is tense as she walks down the hall. She jumps when a boy barges through the doors in the hall in front of her. She scans the students in the hall, paranoid every time one of them looks at her. The police recruiter glances at her and she stares back. A teacher comes down the stairs in front of her and looks at her as he runs a comb through his hair. Several students walk past her, giving her the occasional glance.
Behind her Oz approaches at a quick pace. She hears a locker slam behind her and spins toward the noise, notices Oz quickly bearing down on her and takes him by the neck and shoves him into the wall.
Try it!
Try what?
Suddenly, she realizes she's made a mistake and lets go of his neck.
I'm sorry.
Still not clear what I'm supposed to try.
Nothing. God, I'm... sorry, I...
She steps away from him, looks both ways down the hall and quickly heads off in the direction she was going. Oz moves away from the wall and shakes it off.
That is a tense person.
Buffy walks home alone, arms crossed protectively over herself and scanning the area around her. When she reaches her house she stops and just stares at it. She thinks better of going inside, looks around again and continues on.
Giles walks out of his office cleaning his glasses. Willow is sitting at the counter going through a an old tome.
I wish there was more we could do.
We're doing all that we can. The only course of action is to try and find out what was in that stolen book.
He reads a card from the catalog.
I've never seen Buffy like that. She just took off.
Xander enters.
Well, she didn't go home. I let the phone ring a few hundred times before I remembered her mom is out of town.
Well, maybe Buffy unplugged the phone.
No, it's a statistical impossibility for a sixteen-year-old girl to unplug her phone.
Willow nods in agreement.
Well, perhaps my words of caution were... a little too alarming.
Ya think?
It's good that she took you seriously, Giles. I just wish we knew where she was.
Buffy comes down the stairs and walks over to Angel's door. There's no answer when she knocks.
Angel?
She tries the doorknob, but it's locked.
The doorknob snaps, the door opens and Buffy enters. She slowly walks in, has a look around and closes the door. She turns on the lights. The apartment is sparsely furnished. A modern desk strewn with papers is against the far wall with a dozen old pictures hanging on the wall around it. The floor is bare concrete and her heels click quietly as she walks over to an ivory statue enclosed in a glass display case. She looks at it a moment before moving on, passing an elegant antique armoire. She finds his unmade bed and sits down on it. A moment later she lies back on the bed, resting her head on his pillow and curling up. She hugs her arms close to her heart and falls asleep.
A sleazy, dank, dimly-lit bar. The proprietor, WILLY, is sweeping up the place after hours. Angel appears in the shadow of the doorway.
We're closed! Can't you read the sign?
Angel steps into the light.
Oh... hey, Angel. I didn't recognize you in the dark there. What... what can I do for you tonight?
I need some information.
Yeah? Man, that's too bad, 'cause... I'm staying away from that whole scene. I'm living right, Angel.
Angel slowly walks into the room.
Sure you are, Willy. And I'm taking up sunbathing.
C'mon, man. Don't be that way! I treat you vamps good! I don't hassle you, you don't hassle me. We all enjoy the patronage of this establishment. Everybody's happy, right?
Who sent them?
Who sent who?
The Order of Taraka.
I... I tell ya, I haven't been in the loop.
Let's try again. The Order of Taraka... they're after the Slayer.
C'mon, man.
Was it Spike?
Look, Angel, I got some good pigs' blood in. Good stuff, my fence said--
Angel seizes Willy and smashes his head into the bar. Willy knocks a half-empty pitcher of beer onto the floor. Angel presses down hard on Willy's head with his hand.
Damn it! Ah--
You know, I'm a little rusty when it comes to killing humans. It could take a while.
Spike will draw and quarter me, man!
I'll take care of Spike.
You know he ordered those guys! Spike's sick of your girl getting in his way!
Where can I find him?
I tell you that, I'm gonna need relocating expenses! It'll cost you!
It'll cost who?
Okay! Okay! He and that freaky chick of his are--
Suddenly Angel is staggered by a powerful kick to the head. He falls back onto the floor dazed and looks up at his attacker. It's Kendra, the girl from the airport. She takes Willy's broom, breaks the end of the handle off and attacks Angel with the makeshift stake.
Angel rolls quickly rolls sideways, narrowly missing Kendra's thrust while Willy takes the opportunity to flee the bar. In an instant, Angel is up again ducking a lightning-quick jab from Kendra. She mounts an attack against Angel, raining blows and kicks down on him, sending him crashing through the back door and into a palette of beer.
Kendra's speed, agility, reflexes and strength are preternatural. Her fighting ability easily rivals Buffy's.
When Angel emerges from the back room, his anger shows in his glowing yellow eyes and gleaming fangs. Kendra charges him with the stake held high above her head in both hands. He blocks her charge with his arms and twists her arms down, ripping the stake from her grip. He shoves her into a bank of lockers and tries to knock her legs out from under her, but her footing is firm and she kicks him in the back, knocking him down instead. Once down he tries kicking again, and this time succeeds in bringing her to the ground with him. She grabs his shirt and kicks him in the face. Then they both scramble to their feet. Angel swings and misses. He swings again and she blocks it, punches him three times in the gut followed by a right hook to the jaw. She shoves him into the door of the cage. He bounces off of it and she kicks him in the chest, sending him reeling backward through the cage door and into a bunch of empty water bottles. Several cans fall onto him from a shelf above. She looks at him with hatred in her cold eyes as he once again recovers and faces her.
Who are you? If you tell me what I need to know I won't hurt you.
She laughs as she steps back.
You think this is funny?
She swings the cage door closed and sets the bolt. Angel scrambles to his feet and slams up against the door. She speaks with a heavy Caribbean accent.
I tink it is funny now. Dat girl. De one I saw you wit before?
You stay away from her.
I'm afraid you are not in a position to treaten.
When I get out of here I'll do more than threaten!
Den I suggest ya move quickly. (re: the windows) Eastern exposure. De sun will be comin' in a few hours. (padlocks the cage) More dan enough time for me to find your girlfriend.
Angel roars in anger and slams the cage with his hand.
Just after sunrise. Giles is at his desk studying a book while holding the phone, waiting for Xander to answer.
Xander? (beat) No, no, I haven't heard from Buffy yet. Look, I think you should go to her house and check on her. (beat) Well, right away. (beat) I don't know... get Cordelia to drive you.
He hangs up without waiting for a response. He picks up the book he was reading and heads back into the main room with it. There he finds Willow asleep in front of the PC with her head resting on the keyboard. He closes his book, crouches slightly and gently places his hand on her shoulder to wake her.
Willow?
Willow wakes with a start and sits bolt upright.
Don't warn the tadpoles!
Are you all right?
Giles, what are you doing here?
It's the library, Willow. You fell asleep.
Oh! I...
Don't warn the tadpoles?
I... I have frog fear.
Oh.
I'm sorry. I conked out.
What? Please. You've gone quite beyond the call of duty. But I...fortunately, I think I may have found something finally.
You did?
I found a description of the missing Du Lac manuscript. It's a ritual, Willow. Now, I haven't managed to decipher the exact details, but I believe the purpose is to restore a weak and sick vampire back to full health.
A vampire like Drusilla?
Exactly.
Dalton slams the Du Lac manuscript shut and hands Spike the handwritten translation. Spike looks at it, reads a bit and smiles.
By George, I think he's got it! The key to your cure, ducks. The missing bloody link, it was--
Right, right in front of us... the whole time.
She takes Spike's hand and pulls it down to her deck of tarot cards. The top card shows a picture of an angel.
Xander and Cordelia walk up the front walk.
I can't even believe you. You dragged me out of bed for a ride? What am I, mass transportation?
That's what a lot of the guys say but it's just locker room talk. I wouldn't pay it any mind.
Oh, great, so now I'm your taxi and your punching bag.
I like to think of you more as my witless foil but have it your way.
He takes the steps up to the porch and knocks on the door, then looks in through the glass.
Buffy!
When he doesn't see anyone stirring inside he walks over to the window and tries it.
C'mon, Cordelia. You want to be a member of the Scooby Gang, you gotta be willing to be inconvenienced every now and then.
Oh right, 'cause I lie awake at night hoping you tweakos will be my best friends.
Xander tries another window.
And that my first husband will be a balding, demented homeless man.
He gets the window open and steps inside, then goes around and opens the door for her.
Buffy could be in trouble.
And what if she is exactly? What are you going to do about it? In case you haven't noticed, you're the lameness and she's the super chick or whatever.
Well, at least I'm the lameness who cares, which is more than I can say about you. (into the house) Buffy! (to Cordelia) I'm gonna check upstairs.
Cordelia walks in and closes the door behind her as Xander climbs the stairs.
Buffy?
Bored, Cordelia walks into the living room and looks around. She hears a knocking at the door and goes to answer it. She opens it to find Norman standing there smiling.
Good day. I'm Norman Pfister with Blush Beautiful Skin Care and Cosmetics. I was wondering if I might interest you in some free samples?
Free?
She steps aside to admit him and closes the door.
Sunlight is streaming through the window and is starting to shine into the cage. Angel slams against the door, trying to break it open, but can't get it to budge. He tries prying at the top, but no luck.
Buffy is still asleep on his bed. She stirs and wakes when she hears a noise. She opens her eyes, looks up and immediately rolls to the far side of the bed as a hatchet strikes the pillow where her head was. It's Kendra and she swings again and hits the mattress as Buffy sidesteps the blow. Buffy does a flip over Kendra's back and onto the floor behind her, ready to fight.
You must be number two!
Kendra swings the hatchet. Buffy ducks the swing and grabs the bed curtain. She pulls it down and over Kendra's head and knocks her to the floor with a kick to the head. Kendra quickly scrambles out from under the curtain and holds the hatchet up and ready.
Thanks for the wakeup but I'll stick with my clock radio.
Kendra attacks with the hatchet and Buffy catches it, mid-swing. Kendra pulls her around and slams her into the wall, pushing the hatchet into her chest. Buffy pushes the hatchet up and away from her and Kendra pulls down on it, flipping Buffy over onto her back. She bears down on Buffy.
Come on, don't make me do the chick fight thing.
Chick fight?
You know...
She lets go of the hatchet with one hand and digs her nails into Kendra's hand. Kendra grits her teeth and grunts in pain as Buffy grabs Kendra's arm and rolls her over and away. They both scramble to their feet. Buffy kicks the hatchet out of Kendra's hand. Kendra tries two kicks, which Buffy easily blocks. Buffy ducks a swing to her head and swings back, but Kendra grabs her arm in mid-swing and flips her over onto the coffee table, smashing it. Buffy lets out a pained breath as Kendra reaches down for her. Buffy kicks up with both legs into Kendra's face and sends her reeling backward to the floor. They both scramble to their feet again. Buffy slams a roundhouse kick to Kendra's face and she falls again, but hops right back to her feet. They face each other, ready to continue the fight.
Who are you?
Who am I? You attacked me! Who, the hell, are you?
I am Kendra! De Vampire Slayer!
Stunned, Buffy stares at her in utter disbelief.