[Transcript of "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" episode What's My Line? (part 2) at buffyology.com.]
In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer.
BUFFY and KENDRA are faced off, ready to continue their fight.
Okay, one more time. You're the who?
I'm de Slayer.
Nice cover story. But here's a tip: you might want to try it on someone who's not the real Slayer.
Ya can't stop me! Even if ya kill me, anodder Slayer will be sent to take me place.
Could you stop with the Slayer thing? I'm the damn Slayer!
Nonsense! Dere is but one and I am she.
Okay, a scenario. You back off, I'll back off, but you promise not to go all wiggy until we can go to my Watcher and figure this out.
Wiggy?
You know. No kick-o, no fight-o?
Kendra considers the offer a moment, then relaxes her stance and crosses her arms.
I accept your scenario.
So. You were sent here?
Yes, by my Watcher.
To do what, exactly?
To do my duty. I am here to kill vampires.
Pan from the window over to the cage. The sunlight has advanced past the cage door and is only about three feet from the far wall. ANGEL is crouched in the far corner, cowering and afraid. He looks up with fear at the light streaming through the window.
Opening credit sequence.
Kendra stands at attention as GILES paces. Buffy leans casually on a chair.
And your Watcher is Sam Zabuto, you say?
Yes, sir.
We've never met, but he's very well-respected.
What, so he's a real guy? As in non-fictional?
And you are called...?
I am de Vampire Slayer.
We got that part, hon. He means your name.
Oh. Dey call me Kendra. I have no last name, sir.
Can you say 'stuck in the 80's'?
Buffy, please. There's obviously some misunderstanding here.
WILLOW comes bouncing into the library with a smile on her face. Kendra marches around Buffy to intercept her.
Hey!
Identify yourself!
Willow is taken aback and her smile fades to a frown.
Back off, Pink Ranger! This is my friend.
Friend?
Yeah. As in "person you hang with"? "Amigo"?
I don't understand.
You try. I'm tapped.
Kendra, there are a few people, civilians if you like, who know Buffy's identity. Willow is one of them and they also spend time together... socially.
And you allow dis, sir?
Well...
But de Slayer must work in secret for security.
Of course, but with Buffy, however, it's... some flexibility is required.
Buffy shoots Giles a look.
Why?
Hi, guys. What's goin' on?
Apparently there's been a really big mix-up.
It seems somehow that another Slayer has been sent to Sunnydale.
Is that even possible? I mean, two Slayers at the same time?
Not to my knowledge. The new Slayer is only called after the previous Slayer has died. (realizes) Oh, good lord! You were dead, Buffy.
I was only gone for a minute.
Clearly it doesn't matter how long you were gone. You were physically dead! Thus causing the activation of the next Slayer.
He indicates Kendra.
She died?
Just a little.
She drowned but she was revived.
So there really are two of them!
It would seem so. This is completely unprecedented! I'm quite flummoxed.
What's the flum? It's a mistake. She isn't supposed to be here, she goes home! (to Kendra) Look, no offense, I really don't mean this personally, but I'm not dead and frankly having you around creeps me out just a little bit.
I cannot just leave. I was sent here for a reason. Mr. Zabuto said all de signs indicate dat a very dark power is about to rise in Sunnydale.
And what's your great plan for finding this dark power? You just gonna attack people randomly till you find a bad one?
Of course not.
Then why the hell did you attack me?
I tought you were a vampire.
Oh, a swing and a miss for the rookie.
I had good reason to tink you were. Did I not see you kissing a vampire?
Willow reacts with anger at the attack on her friend.
Buffy would never do that! (realizes) Oh. (to Buffy) Except for that sometimes you do that. (to Kendra) But only with Angel. (to Buffy) Right?
Yes! Right. (to Kendra) Look, you saw me with Angel and he is a vampire but he's good.
Angel? You mean Angelus? I've read about him. He is a monster.
No, no, no, he's good now.
Really!
He had a gypsy curse.
He has a what?
Y'know what, just trust me on this one, okay? He's on the home team now.
I cannot believe you. He looked to me just like anodder animal when I--
When you what? (confronts her) What did you do to him?
What did you do?
Angel leans against the back wall, weakened by the ambient light. WILLY enters and looks at him. He opens the cage door and walks in. He uses his body to shade Angel from the direct sunlight and drags him out of the cage and into another storage room. There he opens a hatch in the floor to the sewers below and drops Angel down into the shallow water. Angel is too weak to get up on his own. Willy lowers himself through the hatch and drops to the water, too. SPIKE walks into the light from the shadows.
There you go, friend. He'll be as good as new in a day or so.
Two of Spike's thugs arrive and lift Angel to his feet. Willy holds up his hands to stop them.
Hey, wait. We had a deal, right?
Spike pulls out a wad of cash.
What's the matter, Willy? Don't you trust me?
Oh, yeah. Like a brother.
Spike slaps him across the cheek.
Talk and I'll have your guts for garters.
Wild horses couldn't drag it.
Spike holds up the last bill, crumbles it and drops it into the water.
Oops! Sorry, friend.
Willy bends over to pick it up as the two thugs grab Angel and drag him off.
What are you gonna do with him anyway?
I'm thinkin' maybe dinner and a movie. I don't want to rush into anything. I've been hurt, you know.
He follows his goons down the sewer as Willy counts his money again.
NORMAN's case is open and CORDELIA is going through the samples.
Do you have anything in raisin? I know you wouldn't think so but I'm both a winter and a summer.
Nine ninety-nine, tax included.
You said that already. Do you have anything in the berry family?
Are there more ladies in the house?
Oh, no, they're not home. You know, nothing personal, but maybe you should look into selling dictionaries or... some...
She falters as a mealworm crawls out of his sleeve and onto his hand. XANDER comes back down the stairs and notices Norman as Cordelia slowly backs away from him.
Hey, what's up?
He's a salesman and he was just leaving, right? Okay! Buh-bye! Thank you!
Okay, Mary Kay, time to--
Another mealworm crawls across Norman's cheek and into his right ear. Horrified, Xander backs away.
Time to run!
He breaks into a run, pulling Cordelia with him as Norman transforms into a mass of mealworms. They crawl across the floor like quicksilver as Xander and Cordelia head for the back door. But Norman is already there, reassembled and waiting for them. Cordelia screams and Xander grabs her hand and pulls her back into the hall. They open the door to the basement and hurry in, closing the door behind them.
They stomp and crush the mealworms as they try to slither under the door.
Find something to cover the crack under the door!
He grabs a broom and sweeps the mealworms back under the door. Cordelia finds a roll of duct tape and hands it to him.
Here! I don't do worms.
He gives her an exasperated look, grabs the roll from her and shoves the broom into her hands.
Cover me!
She sweeps at the mealworms while he pulls a length of tape off of the roll and sticks it to the bottom of the door.
Buffy slams through the door.
Angel?!
Kendra walks into the cage where she left him and looks around.
No ashes.
What?
When a vampire combusts, he leaves ashes.
Yeah, I know the drill.
So I did not kill him.
And I don't need to kill you.
Willy shows up at the door.
Whoa! There's a lotta tension in this room.
Kendra attacks him and pushes him out of the back room and onto the floor.
Doesn't anyone just say 'hello' where you come from?
Kendra turns Willy over on the floor and grabs him by the shirt, ready to punch.
Dis one is dirty! I can feel it!
Buffy hauls Willy to his feet.
That's really good for you, Percepto Girl, but we're not going to get anything out of him if he's, oh say, (slams him into the bar) unconscious. (to Willy) Where's Angel?
My buddy Angel? You think I'd let him fry? I saved him in the nick! He was about five minutes away from being a crispy critter.
Where'd he go?
He said he was going to stay underground. You know, recuperate.
Are you telling me the truth?
I swear on my mother's grave! Should something fatal happen to her, god forbid.
Den he is all right. We can return to your Watcher for our orders.
Buffy lets go of Willy.
I don't take orders. I do things my way.
No wonder you died.
Buffy ignores the comment.
Let's go.
They start to leave when Willy steps away from the bar.
I have to ask. Has either of you girls considered modeling? I have a friend with a camera? Strictly high-class nude work. You know, art photographs. But naked.
Buffy and Kendra turn and leave without a word.
You don't have to answer right away.
Spike bends over DRUSILLA's sleeping form and strokes her hair. She wakes.
I was dreaming.
Of what, pet?
We were in Paris. You had a branding iron.
I brought you something.
He goes over to the stairs and hauls Angel up from the landing.
And there were worms in my baguette.
He dumps Angel on the floor.
Your sire, my sweet.
My Angel?
The one and only. Now all we need's the full moon tonight and he will die and you will be fully restored. My black goddess. My ripe, wicked plum. It's been...
Forever.
They kiss passionately. Angel watches from the floor tied up and gagged. He strains against his bonds and they break off their kiss.
Spike, let me have him. Hmm? Until the moon.
All right, you can play, but don't kill him. He mustn't die till the ritual.
Bring him to me.
Spike picks Angel up from the floor and forces him over to Drusilla. She seizes him by the chin and looks him in the eye.
You've been a very bad daddy.
She slaps him across the face but Angel is powerless to do anything.
Giles, Kendra, Willow and Buffy come down the outside stairs and head into the halls.
Kendra, I've conferred with your Watcher, Mr. Zabuto, and we both agree that until this matter with Spike and Drusilla has been resolved that you two should work together.
Oh, that'll be a treat.
So you believe dat Spike is attempting to revive dis Drusilla to health?
Yes well, I think that's the dark power that your Watcher referred to. You see Drusilla's not only evil, she's... well, she's also quite mad and if she's restored to her full health, then... well, there's absolutely no telling what she might do.
Den we will stop Spike.
Oh, good plan. Let's go, charge!
Buffy...
It's a little more complicated than that, John Wayne.
Yes, I'm afraid it is. You see, Spike has also called out the Order of Taraka to keep Buffy out of the way.
De assassins? I read of dem in de writings of Dramius.
Oh, really? Which volume?
I believe it was six, sir.
How do you know all this?
From me studies.
So obviously you have a lot of free time.
I study because it is required. (Giles smiles) The Slayer handbook insists on it.
There's a Slayer handbook?
Wait. Handbook? What handbook? How come I don't have a handbook?
Is there a t-shirt, too? (off Buffy's look) 'Cause that would be cool.
After meeting you, Buffy, I realized that the handbook would be of no use in your case.
Well, what do you mean it would be of no use in my case? What's wrong with my case?
Kendra, perhaps you'd like to show me the part in Dramius Six where it refers to the Order of Taraka. Really, I seem to have never been able to get through that book. It was a bit stodgy.
It was difficult. All dose footnotes.
Giles and Kendra laugh out loud.
Hello and welcome to Planet Pocket Protector.
Oh, well. Buffy, Principal Snyder was snooping round after you.
Career fair.
Best make an appearance, I think.
Right.
Buffy's a student here?
Yes.
Right, of course. And I imagine she's a cheerleader as well.
Oh, no. Well, actually she had to give up her cheerleading. (off Kendra's look) It was quite an amusing story, actually. Let's go and find the book, shall we?
The two of them head off to the library while Buffy and Willow continue their walk.
Get a load of the She-Giles.
Creepy.
Ew. I'll bet Giles wishes I was more of a book geek.
Giles is enough of a book geek for the both of you.
Yeah, but did you see how they were vibing? (mocks them) Volume Six, ha, ha, ha!
Buffy, no one could replace you. You'll always be Giles' favorite.
I wonder.
Of course, you will. You're his Slayer. The real Slayer.
No. I wonder if it would be so bad, being replaced.
You mean like letting Kendra take over?
Maybe. I mean, maybe after this thing with Spike and the assassins is over, I could say, 'Kendra, you slay, I'm going to Disneyland.'
But not forever, right?
No, Disneyland would get boring after a few months. But I could do other stuff. Career Day stuff. Maybe I could even have a normal life.
Cordelia is pacing.
Could you sit down, or change your pattern or something? You're making me queasy.
Because you're just sitting there. You should be thinking up a plan.
I have a plan. We wait. Buffy saves us.
How will she even know where to find us?
Cordelia, this is Buffy's house. Odds are she'll find us.
Well, what if she doesn't? What am I supposed to do? Just waste away down here with you? Haw, haw, no thank you!
She heads for the stairs.
What are you doing?
Going to see if he's gone!
That's brilliant! What if he isn't?
Oh, right! You think we should just slack here and hope that somebody else decides to be a hero? Sorry, forgot I was stranded with a loser!
And yet I never forgot that I'm stuck with the numb-brain that let Mr. Mutant in the house in the first place!
He looked normal!
What, is he supposed to have an arrow with the word 'assassin' over his head? All it took was the prospect of a free makeover and you licked his hand like a big, dumb dog!
You know what? I'm going.
She heads for the stairs and Xander makes no move to stop her. She hesitates at the foot of the stairs, then faces him again.
I'd rather be worm food than look at your pathetic face!
Then go! I'm not stopping ya!
I bet you wouldn't! I bet you'd let a girl go off to her doom all by herself!
Not just any girl. You're special.
I can't believe that I'm stuck spending what will probably be my last few moments on Earth here with you!
Xander steps closer to her.
I hope these are my last few moments! Three more seconds with you and I'm gonna...
She moves to him too, right in his face.
"I'm gonna" what? Coward!
Moron!
I hate you!
I hate you!
They stare at each other thoroughly worked up, then suddenly grab each other and engage in a passionate kiss.
They release and regard each other with surprise.
We so need to get outta here.
Yes!
She rushes up the stairs with Xander right behind. They stop at the top, crouch down and Xander tears one end of the tape off. There aren't any worms on the other side. Xander moves the broom aside and opens the door slowly. They both look out into the hall for any sign of the mealworms.
He's gone.
Xander steps out and peeks around the corner down the hall to the dining room. The coast looks clear so Xander makes a dash for the front door.
Cordelia follows Xander a moment later but as she comes through the dining room door mealworms begin falling onto her from the ceiling. She screams as they fall on her en masse and runs for the door.
Xander throws the door open and dashes into the front yard. Cordelia follows him out, screaming.
Xander! Oh, my god! Get them off of me! Get 'em off!
He runs to the side of the house and gets the garden hose.
Get 'em off of me! Oh, my god, get 'em off me!
Xander turns on the water and starts spraying the mealworms off of her. She turns her back to him, then her front again.
Okay, okay, let's get outta here! Xander, let's go!
He keeps spraying her in spite of her protests, clearly enjoying soaking her with water.
Okay! Let's go!
She runs for her car. Xander follows her with the hose for another instant, then drops it and follows her.
CU of Cordelia's license plate: QUEEN C. She floors the gas and they burn rubber into the street, screeching around the corner.
Buffy and Willow stroll along past the Career Fair displays.
My tests say that I should look into law enforcement-- duh!-- and environmental design.
Environmental design. That's landscaping, right?
I checked the 'shrub' box. But landscaping was yesterday, so law enforcement it is.
They stop near the steps to the couches in the lounge. Buffy notices OZ noticing Willow.
Hey, Will, don't look, okay, but... (Willow looks) No, don't look! (smiles) That guy over there is totally checking you out.
Willow shifts her eyes over without moving her head. She recognizes him from the software company interview the day before.
Oh, that's Oz. He's expressing computer nerd solidarity.
Oz gets up and walks over.
Really? Then why is he on his way over here right now? Told you!
Buffy makes a discreet exit as Oz arrives.
Hey.
Hey! Your hair! Is brown!
Oh, yeah, sometimes. So did you decide? Are you going to be a Corporate Computer Suit Guy?
Oh. Well, I think I'm going to finish high school first. What about you?
I'm not really a computer person, you know. Or a work of any kind person.
They why'd they select you?
Oh, I sort of test well, y'know, which is cool. Except that it leads to jobs.
Well, don't you have some ambition?
Oh, yeah! Yeah. E-flat, diminished ninth.
Huh?
Well, the E-flat, it's doable, but that diminished ninth, y'know, it's a man's chord. Now, you could lose a finger.
Willow nods, pretending to understand.
Buffy signing up at the law enforcement table. She joins the group already assembled. PATRICE, the Sunnydale Police recruitment officer, picks up the clipboard and looks it over.
All right, listen up and answer when I call your name. Buffy Summers.
Buffy raises her hand and Patrice calmly puts the clipboard back down. She draws her gun and aims it at Buffy. Buffy reacts in a flash and pushes the recruiter's hands and weapon up into the air as the first round goes off.
Panic reigns throughout the hall as people start to run and duck for cover. As Buffy struggles with the cop, another round goes into the ceiling. Buffy knees the cop in the gut and she drops the gun and falls to the floor. Buffy starts to run as Patrice gets to her knees and pulls another gun and takes aim. Another bullet zings past Buffy as she dives over a table. She stands up again and looks around at everyone.
Get down!
She starts to run again, right past Oz and Willow. Patrice follows Buffy with her front sight.
Look out!
As he lunges for Willow and pulls her to the floor with him, he takes a bullet meant for Buffy in the arm. Patrice continues to follow Buffy with her gun and shoots off the cranium of a skeleton. Buffy disappears down the hall and the police recruiter carefully moves after her. Patrice stops at the wall to peek around it and down the hall. She doesn't see her, but senses that she's there, and decides to go to the other end of the wall in order to come around from the other side. Pan to the other side where Buffy is leaning against the wall, breathing hard and waiting for Patrice to make her next move. Just as she is about to round the corner, Buffy leaps over a table and tackles her to the floor. She drops her backup gun and it slides away. Buffy gets to her feet and adopts a fighting stance. Patrice gets to her knees and pulls out a small throwaway gun from an ankle holster and aims it at Buffy. Before she can get off a round, Kendra kicks the gun out of her hands. She follows it up with a kick to Patrice's face, sending her flat on her back. She makes her stand next to Buffy.
Patrice pulls out a short blade and grabs JONATHAN, holding him as a hostage. The two girls watch her slowly back toward the door at the end of the hall with the boy in tow. Halfway there she drops Jonathan and makes a dash for the door. Kendra doesn't hesitate to give chase. Buffy rushes over to Oz and Willow and kneels down next to them. Oz is holding his arm.
How is he?
He's shot! (to Oz) Are you okay?
I... I'm shot! Y'know, wow! It's odd! And painful.
Kendra comes back and Buffy runs over to her.
She's gone.
Was that a demonstration?
Giles has the First-Aid kit out and Willow is wrapping Buffy's knee.
She was definitely one of the Taraka gang, Giles, and way gun happy.
This Oz chap, he's all right?
The paramedic said it was only a scrape. Thank goodness.
Cordelia and Xander walk into the library. Kendra moves to head them off.
Down, girl!
Who sponsored career day today? The British Soccer Fan Association?
We had a rather violent visit from the Order of Taraka.
You want to talk Order of Taraka? We just met the king freak of the... (to Kendra) Hello.
Kendra drops her eyes to the floor in deference to Xander.
Oh, forgive me. Xander, Cordelia, this is Kendra. It's rather complicated but she's also a Slayer.
Hi. Nice to meet you.
A Slayer, huh? (to Buffy) I knew this 'I'm the only one, I'm the only one' thing was just an attention-getter.
Just say hello, Xander.
Welcome. So! You're a Slayer, huh? I like that in a woman.
I hope... I tank you... I mean, sir... I will be of service.
Great! Good. It's good to be a giver.
Xander, this assassin you encountered, what did he look like?
Cordelia finds a mealworm in her hair and begins freaking out all over again. She drops it onto the table and gets up.
Ugh! Agh! Ohmigod, I'm showering!
Without another word, she runs from the library.
Like that.
You and bug people, Xander. What's up with that?
No, but this dude was completely different than Praying Mantis Lady. He was a man of bugs, not a man who was a bug.
He slams the biology book shut on the mealworm and sits down.
The important thing is everybody's all right. Still, it's quite apparent that we're under serious attack.
These Taraka are definitely serious. Fortunately for me, so is Kendra.
And I fear the worst is still to come. I've discovered the remaining keys to Drusilla's cure. The ritual requires the presence of her sire and it must take place in a church on the night of the new moon.
Buffy suddenly looks very concerned.
The new moon. But that is tonight.
Exactly. And I'm sure the assassins were here to kill Buffy before she could put a stop to things.
They need Drusilla's sire. You mean the vamp that made her?
Yes.
Buffy, what is it?
Angel. He's Drusilla's sire.
Man, that guy got major neck in his day!
Willow smacks him hard on the shoulder.
Will this ritual kill him?
Yes, I'm afraid it will.
We need to find this church. We need to find where this ritual is going to take place!
Agreed and we must work quickly. (checks his watch) We have five hours before sundown.
Willow opens her laptop.
Don't worry, Buffy. We'll save Angel.
Angel? But our priority is to stop Drusilla!
Angel's our friend! Except I don't like him.
Look, you've got your priorities and I've got mine. Right now they mesh. So are you going to help me or are you going to get out of my way?
I'm wit you.
Good. 'Cause I've had it. Spike is going down. You can attack me, you can send assassins after me, that's fine. But nobody messes with my boyfriend!
Drusilla runs her hand across the lid of an elegant wooden box labeled 'Holy Water'. She sings quietly as she lifts the lid and takes out a small crystal pitcher.
The lamb is caught in the blackberry patch. (approaches Angel) My mummy ate lemons. Raw.
She kneels next to him. Angel is tied to the posts of her canopy bed by both wrists high above his head. Drusilla runs her hand across his chest.
She said she loved the way they made her mouth... tingle. Little Anne.
She lets some of the holy water trickle onto his chest. It steams and burns like acid. Angel jerks his head back in pain and stifles a scream.
Her favorite was custard... brandied pears.
Dru...
Shhh! And pomegranates. They used to make her face and fingers all red.
She climbs onto the bed behind Angel and reaches over his shoulder letting more holy water dribble onto his chest. Again Angel grits his teeth in pain, but won't let himself scream aloud.
Remember? Hmm? Little fingers. Little hands. Do you?
If I could--
Bite your tongue! They used to eat cake and eggs and honey. (sweetly) Until you came and ripped their throats out.
She lets the rest of the holy water cascade onto his chest and Angel screams in agony.
Giles walks out of the stacks and heads toward the stairs with a large volume full of pictures. Willow is sitting on the steps websurfing on her laptop. He looks down at her screen and sits down next to her.
There are forty-three churches in Sunnydale? That seems a little excessive.
It's the extra evil vibe from the Hellmouth. Makes people pray harder.
Giles offers her a mint and she smiles and takes one. He gets back up and continues over to Xander and Cordelia at the table.
Well, check and see if any of them are closed or abandoned.
Yeah, yeah, we got monsters, we got demons but no bug dude or police lady.
Giles sets the volume down in front of them and opens it.
Well, you should have better luck with this one. There's a whole section devoted to the Order of Taraka.
Kendra looks through the window at them doing their research. Buffy is sharpening a knife.
And dose two, dey also know you are de Slayer?
Yep.
Did anyone explain to you what 'secret identity' means?
Kendra picks up a crossbow.
Nope. Must be in the handbook, right after the chapter on personality removal. Be careful with that thing!
Please. I'm an expert in all weapons.
The bolt flies off the crossbow and breaks a lamp.
Is everything all right?
Yeah, it's okay. Kendra killed the bad lamp.
She sets the bow down carefully.
Sorry! Dis trigger mechanism is different. Perhaps when dis is over you can... show me how to work it.
When this is over I'm thinking pineapple pizza and teen video movie-fest. Possibly something from the Ringwald oeuvre.
Xander turns the page and finds a drawing of the bug dude.
Oh, here we go! I am the bug man, coo coo ka choo. Okay. He can only be killed when he's in his disassembled state. (to Cordelia) Disassembled. That means when he's broken down into his little buggy parts.
I know what it means, dorkhead.
Dorkhead! You slash me with your words!
Giles rubs his eyes in frustration.
Kendra holds one of Buffy's carved stakes.
Your life is very different dan mine.
You mean the part where I occasionally have one? Yeah, I guess it is.
De tings you do and have, I was taught, distract from my calling. Friends, school... even family.
Even family?
My parents, dey sent me to my Watcher when I was very young.
How young?
I don't remember dem, actually. I've seen pictures. But dat's how seriously de calling is taken by my people. My modder and fadder gave me to my Watcher because dey believed dat dey were doing de right ting for me and for de world. (off Buffy's look) Please, I don't feel sorry for meself. Why should you?
I don't know, I... I guess it just sounds very lonely.
Emotions are weakness, Buffy. You shouldn't entertain dem.
Kendra, my emotions give me power. They're total assets!
Maybe. For you. But I prefer to keep an even mind.
I guess that explains it.
Explains what?
Oh, well, when we were fighting... you're amazing! Your technique, it's flawless, it's... better than mine.
I know.
Still, I would have kicked your butt in the end. And you know why? No imagination.
Really? Ya tink so?
Oh, I know so. You're good but power alone isn't enough. A good fighter needs to know how to improvise, to go with the flow. Seriously, don't get me wrong, you really do have potential.
Kendra holds her knife at the ready.
Potential? I could wipe de floor wit you right now!
Buffy looks Kendra in the eye.
That would be anger you're feeling.
What?
You feel it, right? How the anger gives you fire? A Slayer needs that.
They both look over at Xander as he walks into the office.
Excuse me, ladies.
Kendra looks down at the floor while he grabs a book from the desk. Xander notices her knife before he goes back out to Giles.
Nice knife.
I'm guessing dating isn't big with your Watcher either.
I'm not permitted to speak with boys.
Unless you're pummeling them. (realization) Wait a minute.
What?
That guy! The sleazoid you nearly decked in the bar.
You tink he might help us?
I tink we might make him!
Drusilla kneels between Angel's spread legs and holds the little pitcher of holy water above him.
Say 'Uncle'. Oh, that's right, you killed my uncle.
She is about to pour the water onto his chest again when Spike walks in.
That's it, then. Off to church.
It makes pretty colors.
I'll see him die soon enough. I've never been much for the pre- show.
He reaches up to untie one of Angel's bonds while Drusilla puts away the holy water and gets Miss Edith.
Too bad. That's what Drusilla likes best, as I recall.
What's that supposed to mean?
Ask her. She knows what I mean.
Well?
Shhh! Grrrruff! Bad dog.
You should have let me talk to him, Dru. Sounds like your boy could use some pointers. (to Spike) She likes to be teased.
Keep your hole shut!
Take care of her, Spike. The way she touched me just now? I can tell when she's not satisfied.
I said SHUT UP!
He grabs Angel by the throat, lifts him to his feet and holds him against the bedpost.
Or maybe you two just don't have the fire we had.
That's enough.
He smashes his other hand into the wooden railing of Drusilla's bed, grabs the piece that broke off and holds it up to stake Angel.
Spike, no!
Spike holds back but Angel tries to goad him with a stare. Drusilla steps over to Spike and gently puts her arm on his shoulder and snuggles up to him.
Shhh.
Oh! Right. Right, you almost got me! Aren't you a 'throw himself to the lions' sort of sap these days. Well, the lions are on to you, baby. See, if I kill you now you go quick and Dru hasn't got a chance. And if Dru dies your little Rebecca of Sunnyhell Farm and all her mates are spared her coming-out party.
Spike, the moon is rising. It's time.
Too bad, Angelus. Looks like you go the hard way. Along with the rest of this miserable town.
He pins Angel against the bedpost as he and Drusilla engage in a passionate kiss.
Buffy shoves Willy up against the shelves of liquor bottles.
Honest! I don't know where Angel is!
What about this ritual? What have you heard?
Nothing! It's all hush-hush!
Just hit him, Buffy!
She likes to hit.
You know, maybe I did hear something about this ritual. Yeah, it's coming back to me. But I'd have to take you there.
Let's go.
She starts to drag him out of the bar.
First we must return to de Watcher.
Excuse me? While we run to Giles, this whole thing could go down!
But it is procedure.
It's brainless, you mean! If we don't go now, Angel could die.
Is dat all you're worried about? Your boyfriend?
No, it's not all but it's enough.
It's as I feared. He clouds your judgment. We can't stop dis ritual alone!
Are you listening to me? He could die!
He's a vampire. He should die. Why am I de only person who sees it?
Buffy shoots her a hard look, then turns around and heads for the door with Willy in tow.
Are you dat big a fool?
Buffy shoves Willy out ahead of her and leaves Kendra behind in the bar.
Good riddance, den.
Willy leads Buffy down an arched hallway.
Here ya go. Don't ever say your friend Willy don't come through in a pinch.
They round a corner and find Patrice and a vampire waiting for them.
Here ya go. Don't ever say your friend Willy don't come through in a pinch.
Norman and another vampire block her escape from behind.
The nave of the church. Spike walks up the main aisle from the altar with a censer of burning incense.
Eligor. I name thee. Bringer of war, poisoners, pariahs, grand obscenity.
He turns back to the altar. Angel and Drusilla are both strapped together, hanging from a chain. Angel's right hand is tied to the chain above his head.
Eligor, wretched master of decay, bring your black medicine.
Black medicine.
Spike sets the censer down on the altar and picks up the Du Lac Cross with his gloved hand. According to Satanic tradition, he holds it upside down.
Come. Restore your most impious, murderous child.
Murderous child.
He slides a dagger out of the head of the cross.
From the blood of the sire she is risen.
He takes Drusilla's left hand and raises it to Angel's and she clasps it.
From the blood of the sire, she shall rise again.
With one swift stroke Spike stabs the blade through both their hands, pinning them together. Angel screams in agony as a blinding bright pink light emanates from their wounds.
A pulse of energy spreads out and then the light dies back down to a faint glimmer as Angel's strength begins to ebb from him into Drusilla. She slumps as Angel's life energy flows into her.
Right, then! Now we just let them come to a simmering boil and remove to a low flame.
Willy barges through the door and strides into the nave with the vampires and assassins escorting Buffy close behind.
It's payday, pal. I got your Slayer.
Spike strides up the aisle to meet him.
Are you tripping? You bring her here? Now?
You said you wanted her.
Buffy sees Angel and Drusilla tied together at the altar.
In the ground, pinhead! I wanted her dead.
Now that's not what I heard. Word was there was a bounty on her dead or alive.
You heard wrong, Willy.
Angel...
Yeah. It bugs me, too, seeing him like that. Another five minutes, though, and Angel will be dead so... I forebear. Don't feel too bad for Angel... though he's got something you don't have.
What's that?
Five minutes. Patrice!
She lets go of Buffy and draws her gun. Buffy struggles with the vampire holding her. The far door suddenly bursts open and Kendra enters with a dazzling series of backflips, ending in a flying double kick, one foot to the back of each of the vampire's heads. They fall to the floor, pushing Buffy into Spike and knocking him down. Kendra lands on her feet, ready to fight. She wastes no time confronting Spike as he gets up, squaring off with Buffy to fight him.
Who the hell is this?
Kendra grabs him by the shirt.
It's your lucky day, Spike.
Two Slayers!
Kendra pounds him in the head.
No waiting!
Buffy jabs him in the gut.
Spike falls but quickly gets up. Buffy breaks off to fight Patrice, leaving Kendra to take care of Spike.
Buffy faces off with Patrice as she extends her arms down and a gleaming silver blade slides out of each sleeve.
One of the vampires pulls himself up from the floor next to them and starts to reach for Buffy when a bolt impales him. He explodes into ash and we see Giles at the door, holding the crossbow.
Buffy and Patrice begin to fight hand-to-hand. Patrice thrusts one blade then the other at Buffy, but Buffy catches her arms in mid-swing and knees Patrice in the gut. She follows up with a kick to Patrice's face and sends her reeling backward into the wall.
Spike pounds Kendra, knocking her down and she scrambles to avoid his follow- through.
Giles realizes the other vampire has recovered as well runs to engage him. He swings the crossbow at him, but the vampire grabs it and wrests it from his grasp. Giles swings at the vampire and hits him in the face as a newly-arrived Willow jumps up onto his back and starts choking him.
Xander sees Norman and begins taunting him.
Hey, larvae boy! Yeah, that's right, I'm talkin' to you, ya big cootie!
With an evil smile, Norman starts after him. Xander scrambles for the doors and carefully steps through as he closes them behind him to avoid stepping into the puddle of liquid adhesive Cordelia has poured there. She still has the bucket in her hand.
Welcome, my little pretties!
Norman shoots under the door as a mass of mealworms while back inside Giles punches the vampire twice. Willow gamely holds on from behind.
Kendra jumps over Spike when he tries to knock her legs out from under her. They continue to trade blows, alternately gaining and losing ground.
Patrice staggers back up and comes for Buffy. She ducks a kick from Buffy and lunges at her with her blades but Buffy handily blocks her. Buffy ducks a follow- up slash to her face.
Out in the hall, the mealworms are stuck in the adhesive and Xander and Cordelia begin to stomp them to death.
Buffy punches Patrice in the face and sends her staggering back into the wall again.
Spike kicks Kendra, sending her crashing to the floor. As she gets to her feet, Buffy notices her getting knocked around.
Switch!
She bends over and Kendra rolls over her back to face Patrice, immediately landing a punch and knocking her into the wall for a third time. Buffy faces Spike.
I'd rather be fightin' you anyway.
Mutual.
She blocks his jab, then kicks him in the face and chest. He doubles over and falls to the floor.
Cordelia and Xander continue stomping away.
Die! Die, die, die! Die!
Xander puts his hand on her lower back to calm her.
I think he did, Cordy.
She quickly drops the bucket and they run off.
Buffy and Spike trade blows until, in a fit of anger, Buffy seizes him by the coat and throws him over several pews and into the wall. Willy gets up and starts to
back toward the exit. Spike growls as he stands up and sees Willy trying to sneak out of the church. He runs over and yanks him by the back of the neck.
Where are you going?
Buffy seizes the opportunity to run to the altar and pull the dagger out of Angel and Drusilla's hands.
Now there's a way in which this isn't my fault!
They tricked you.
Mmm-hmm! They were duplicitous!
Well, then I'll only kill you just this once.
His fangs descend toward Willy's neck.
Spike!
Spike stops in mid-bite and looks over at her. He sees Buffy trying to untie them, drops Willy and rushes over to the altar, throwing Buffy to the floor. He backhands her as she gets back up, knocking her down again.
Willy wastes no time running out of the church past Willow and Giles, who are still fighting the other vampire. Giles has him held by both arms and Willow has a stake raised to kill him.
Hold him steady!
She plunges the stake into the vampire's heart and he bursts into ashes, covering Giles in grit. Xander and Cordelia run into the back of the nave as Willow brushes the dust off of Giles.
Patrice throws Kendra over a pew and climbs over after her. She swings at Kendra twice but misses both times when Kendra ducks. She swings again and this time slashes Kendra's arm.
Dat's me favrit shirt! Dat's me only shirt!
Enraged, Kendra kicks the back of Patrice's knee then swings her by the arm into an armoire, smashing it and Patrice to pieces. She collapses, unconscious. Kendra runs over to join the others as Spike takes a torch from its wall hanger and throws it into a pile of old drapes, setting them ablaze.
Look out!
Spike unstraps Drusilla from Angel.
Sorry, baby. Gotta go.
He lifts her into his arms and starts down the aisle.
Hope that was enough.
With nothing holding him up anymore Angel falls to the floor. Buffy crawls over to him and notices Spike making his escape. She stands up and grabs the censer from the altar. She swings it around her head by its chain a few times and launches it at Spike. It hits him in the back of the head, and he stumbles into the church organ. The keyboard console collapses under his weight.
I'm good!
A moment later the organ superstructure collapses onto Spike and Drusilla, its huge brass pipes clanging and rolling to the floor. Buffy turns her attention back to Angel and helps him sit up. She cradles his head in her arms.
Hi.
Kendra watches the way they look at each other. Buffy brushes Angel's cheek. Giles and the others watch them through the spreading flames. Kendra runs over and crouches down next to Buffy and Angel.
Let's get him out!
Angel moans and they begin to help him up.
Careful!
C'mon.
With their help he gets to his feet. Kendra gets under his arm to support him. The others run out of the church as the three of them make their way up the aisle and out the other door.
By now, the wreckage of the organ has caught fire now as well.
Oz is getting a box of animal crackers from the vending machine. His arm is in a sling. He turns to find Willow there.
Oh, hey! Animal cracker?
No, thank you. How's your arm?
Suddenly painless.
You can still play the guitar okay?
Oh, not well, but not worse.
They start to walk down the hall. Willow takes the box from him and opens it.
You know, I never really thanked you.
Oh, yeah. Please don't. I don't do thanks. I get all red, have to bail. It's not pretty.
Well, then forget that thing. Especially with the part where I kind of owe you my life.
Oz regards his cookie.
Oh, look! Monkey! And he has a little hat. And little pants.
Yeah, I see!
The monkey's the only cookie animal that gets to wear clothes, you know that?
Willow smiles brightly.
You have the sweetest smile I've ever seen.
Willow is surprised by the compliment.
So I'm wondering, do the other cookie animals feel sorta ripped? Like is the hippo going, 'Hey, man, where are my pants? I have my hippo dignity!'
Willow laughs.
And you know the monkey's just, (French accent) 'I mock you with my monkey pants!' And there's a big coup in the zoo.
The monkey is French?
All monkeys are French. You didn't know that?
No.
Cordelia comes across Xander and immediately turns and walks the other way. Xander runs around her and stops her.
We need to talk.
Cordelia rolls her eyes and crosses her arms as she goes into an empty classroom. Xander looks back and forth down the hall to make sure no one sees them going in together before following her. He stands a distance away from her. They both fidget with their hands.
Okay... here's the deal. We don't have to run every time we see each other in the hall.
Right. Okay. Why shouldn't we run?
What happened, there's a total explanation for it.
You're a pervert?
Me?
Yeah!
No-no-no-no! (takes a step closer) I seem to recall I was the jumpee, my friend!
As if! (takes a step closer) You've probably been planning this for months!
Right, I hired a Latvian bug man to kill Buffy so I could kiss you. I hate to burst your bubble but you don't inspire me to spring for a dinner over at Bucky's Fondue Hut.
Fine! Whatever.
She starts to leave, but steps back, closer.
You know, the point is: don't try it again!
I didn't try it! (calmer) Forget about the bugs, okay? The memory of your lips on mine makes my blood run cold.
If you dare breathe a word of this...
Like I want anyone to know!
Then it's erased!
Never happened!
Good!
Good!
Good!
They stare into each other's eyes for a moment and then embrace in another mad, passionate kiss. This time they don't break off.
Buffy walks Kendra to her taxi.
Tank you for de shirt, it was very generous of you.
Hey, it looks better on... well, me but no worries. Now, when you get to the airport...
I get on de plane with me ticket and sit in a seat. Not de cargo hold.
Very good.
Dat is not traveling under cover.
Exactly. Relax! You earned it. Sit in your seat, you eat your peanuts, you watch the movie... well, unless it's about a dog or Chevy Chase.
I'll remember.
I... I just wanted to thank you... for helping me save Angel.
Am not tellin' me Watcher about dat. It is too strange dat a Slayer loves a vampire.
Tell me about it.
Still, he is pretty cute.
Well, maybe they won't fire me for dating him.
You always do dat.
Do what?
You talk about slaying like it's a job. It's not. It's who you are.
Did you get that from your handbook?
From you.
I guess it's something I really can't fight. (smiles) I'm a freak.
Not de only freak.
Not anymore.
They look at each other for a moment, then Buffy makes a move to hug Kendra, but she backs away.
I don't hug.
Right. No. Good. Hate hugs.
Kendra smiles at her and gets into the cab. Buffy holds up her hand and watches as the taxi pulls away.
The fire has burned itself out. Pan over the scorched rubble of the pipe organ to Spike, unconscious but breathing. Drusilla, her demon ascendant, takes his arm.
Don't worry, dear heart.
She pulls him up off the floor and holds him by his arm. His head droops down.
I'll see that you get strong again.
She scoops up his legs in her other arm.
Like me!
Slowly she carries him from the charred remains of the church.