[Transcript of "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" episode Go Fish at buffyology.com.]
In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer.
A group of about fifty high school students is partying on the beach. Pan past a few parked cars through the crowd of students laughing and celebrating. Stop on a campfire where XANDER, CORDELIA and WILLOW are warming themselves.
All I'm saying is, it's a stupid idea to have a victory party at the beach. It's officially nippy. (looks down at himself) So say my nips.
I think it's festive. A party with nature.
Well, it's the team's choice. It was their victory.
Team? Swim team. (chuckles) Hardly what I'd call a team. The Yankees. Abbott and Costello. The 'A'. Now, those were teams.
Jealous?
No. (beat) Yes, but 'no' more than 'yes'.
A member of the swim team, DODD McALVY, staggers past with a girl under each arm.
I mean, look at that. Dodd McAlvy. Last month he's the freak with Jicama breath who waxes his back. He wins a few meets and suddenly inherits the cool gene?
Well, all I know is my cheerleading squad wasted a lot of pep on losers. It's about time our school excelled at something.
Hmm. You're forgetting our high mortality rate.
We're number one! (looks around) Huh?
A few positive responses from nearby students as we pan from them over to BUFFY sitting by herself behind a sand dune and staring out over the ocean with a tuned-out look on her face. After a moment another swimmer, CAMERON WALKER, approaches her from behind.
Beautiful, isn't it?
Yeah. It's just so...
Eternal. A true mother, giving birth to new life and devouring old. Always adaptable and nurturing... yet constant... and merciless.
Boy... I was just gonna go with big and wet.
Me and some of the other guys on the team, we come out here once a week to train in it. See, we swim against the current.
Funny. That's how I feel most of the time. (turns to him) So, Cameron Walker, you just won the state semi-finals. What are you going to do next?
I'm going to hang out with Buffy Summers. Get to know her.
Hey, pause that tape for a second.
Hey. No pressure. I just like being around you, that's all.
They both look out over the ocean for a moment, then a lot of shouting and laughing erupts behind them.
Somebody help me!
Buffy and Cameron both turn to look.
JONATHAN as Dodd dunks him headfirst into the drink cooler. He pulls Jonathan's head back out of the tub and holds him by the hair.
Come on, Johnny, you gotta hold your breath longer than that if you ever want to make the team! Hey, somebody time him!
He shoves Jonathan's head back into the tub. Suddenly a hand appears on Dodd's shoulder and pulls back. Reveal a tattoo of a shark smoking a cigar on his upper arm.
Hey!
Nice tat. What, they ran out of Tweety Bird?
She shoves him down to the ground as Jonathan sputters to the surface.
Hey, what's your problem?
You had it coming to you, bro.
Dodd jumps up to confront Buffy, but GAGE moves between them.
Chill, dude. A bunch of us are going to take a little night dip down on the beach. You in?
Whatever.
They move off and Buffy turns her attention to Jonathan.
Hey, let's get you a towel.
No. Why don't you mind your own business? I can handle this without your help.
Jonathan stalks off, muttering to himself.
See? It's fun to hang out with me.
Dodd and Gage walking further down the beach.
I can't believe Buffy. Man, that girl gives me the creeps.
He lags behind a bit and then stops, staring out over the ocean as Gage onward. He scans the surf for a moment then moves to catch up with Gage.
Gage. He smells something and stops in his tracks. He takes another sniff and screws up his face in disgust.
Oh, dude! What is that foulness?
He looks around and notices that Dodd has disappeared.
Hey, Dodd! Dude! (gives up) Huh.
Gage shrugs and heads over to a group of people gathered under the pier.
Pan up the beach. A muffled scream followed by the sound of flesh ripping and a wounded moaning. Finally a deep growl as we reveal Dodd-- or at least what's left of him. Reveal a pile of torn clothes and strips of bloody skin steaming in the cold night air. CU on Dodd's shark tattoo, then pan up to a large storm drain protruding from the hillside; a hunched and mottled creature lurches into it.
Opening credit sequence.
CU: a pie chart appearing on a student's computer monitor. Willow walks up the aisle checking on the students' work.
Okay! Good pie charts, everyone. Good... all good.
Thanks.
Nice... good. (to Gage) Gage, your pie chart is looking a lot like solitaire... with naked ladies on the cards?
What's your point?
The bell rings and Gage gets up to go.
No point.
PRINCIPAL SNYDER walks into the room past the departing students. He spots Gage and stops.
Nice work in yesterday's meet, son. Now, let's go for it.
Gage gives him a nod then continues out of the classroom. Snyder turns his attention to Willow.
Hi there, sir.
Rosenberg. How's the class? Everything in order?
Well, actually--
Great. I've been talking to the board. We've been having trouble finding a competent teacher this late in the term. Do you think you could continue subbing through finals?
Oh! Sure! I like teaching.
Isn't that nice. You're a team player and I like that. A team player wants everyone on the team to succeed... wants everyone to pass.
Well, yeah. Sure.
I understand there's a problem with Gage Petronzi.
Oh, good, then you know. Well, yeah. Besides the behavior problem, he won't do homework and his test scores are...
Snyder looks up, annoyed, not wanting to hear this.
Well, actually, he doesn't have any test scores because he never shows up when we have--
I'm not interested in any of that. I'm interested in why, when this school is on the brink of winning its first state championship in fifteen years, you slap a crucial member of that team with a failing mark that would force his removal. Is that how you show your school spirit?
Yes. Well, I mean... no. I'm just trying to grade fairly.
Gage is a champion. He's under more pressure than the other students. And I think we need to cut him some slack.
He turns to go as Willow considers his words for a moment.
You're asking me to change his grade?
I never said any such thing. All I'm suggesting is... that you recheck your figures and I think we'll find a grade more fitting to an athlete of Gage's stature. Perhaps something in a 'D'?
He goes leaving Willow confused and distressed.
Xander, Cordelia and Willow come down the stairs into the hall.
Just like that? He actually told you to alter his grade?
Exactly. Except for actually telling me to. But he made it perfectly clear of what he wasn't telling me.
That is wrong-- a big, fat, spanking wrong. It's a slap in the face to every one of us who studied hard and worked long hours to earn our D's.
Xander, I know you take pride in being the voice of the common wuss, but the truth is, certain people are entitled to special privileges. They're called winners. That's the way the world works.
And what about that nutty 'all men are created equal' thing?
Propaganda spouted out by the ugly and less deserving.
I think that was Lincoln.
Disgusting mole and stupid hat.
Actually, it was Jefferson.
Kept slaves. Remember?
You know what really grates my cheese? That Buffy's not here to share my moral outrage about swim team perks. She's too busy being one of them.
Cameron's Mustang pulls into the school parking lot and screeches to a halt. Buffy is in the passenger's seat.
I don't know, a dolphin. A dolphin in the ocean. Because you know, when I'm in the vastness of the ocean, it's... like I'm never alone.
He turns off the engine and turns to face Buffy.
You ever hear of a woman named Gertrude Ederle?
No. No, I can't say that I have, Cam.
First woman to swim the English Channel. (Buffy nods, bored) Same thing. I mean, she would talk to it. I mean, she'd carry on entire conversations with it. Sometimes I do that. I mean, once I was out in--
You know what, Cam? Thanks. I'd forgotten how nice it is to just talk, or in my case listen, without any romantic pressure.
Hey... I'm not about pressure. I just want you to be comfortable.
I'm comfy! I'm so comfy, I'm nodding off actually, which is why--
Are you wearing a bra?
He looks at her suggestively.
What?
Come on. I mean, tell me you haven't been thinking about this ever since last night.
What I'm thinking about is that I should probably get out of this car.
She reaches for the door latch but Cameron quickly hits the master lock button.
Relax. I'm not going to hurt you.
Oh, it's not me I'm worried about.
You like it rough!
He reaches over to put his arm around her and she grabs it and yanks him down toward her. With her other hand she grabs the back of his neck and jerks him up. She smashes his head into the steering wheel, honking the horn. He sits up, holds his broken nose and moans in pain.
Buffy turns and cringes when she sees Principal Snyder standing outside her window. He leans over and peers in through the windshield at her.
Oh, you broke my nose!
Snyder wordlessly motions for her to come with him.
NURSE GREENLEIGH's office. She slams a cold pack onto a table to start the chemical reaction and kneads it a little before holding it up to Cameron's nose and gently applying it.
Ow!
Buffy and Snyder.
I wasn't the attacker, Principal Snyder. I was the attacked.
That's not how it looked from where I was standing.
I don't know what happened. I mean, first she leads me on, then she goes schizo on me.
Lead you on? When did I lead you on?
Oh, come on. (to Snyder) I mean, look at the way she dresses.
She looks down at herself as the door opens and the swim team coach, CARL MARIN, rushes in.
Coach.
How we doing, Cameron?
Coach Marin, how bad does it look?
Well, luckily, it's not broken but sure as hell it's going to sting for a few days.
I mean our chances of winning the state championship.
Oh.
Can we still do it?
I'm going to need Cameron back at a hundred and ten percent. He's my best swimmer, now with Dodd...
What happened to Dodd?
That's none of your concern. You'd better hope that boy's nose heals before the meet this Friday.
Walker, I want you to hit the steam room as soon as you're done here and try to keep those sinuses clear. (to the nurse) Take care of my boy, Ruthie.
I always do.
And you... try to dress more appropriately from now on. This isn't a dance club.
He leaves the office. Snyder gives Buffy an evil look before following the coach out. Cameron looks over at her and grins.
Buffy is venting at her friends. Xander, GILES and Willow studying a number of books at the table. They all look up at her as words stream forth.
So I'm treated like the baddie just because he has a sprained wrist and a bloody nose. (considers) And I don't have a scratch on me, which, granted, hurts my case a little on the surface but meanwhile he gets away with it because he's on the 'Aren't we the most?' swim team, who, by the way, if no one's noticed, have been acting like real jerks lately...
She notices their looks of impatience and tries to find some sympathy there. They have none to give.
So anything new with you guys?
Thank you for taking an interest. Apparently, some remains were found on the beach this morning. Some human remains.
Dodd McAlvy's remains.
Vampire?
No. No, he was eviscerated. Nothing left but skin and cartilage.
In other words, this was no boating accident.
So something ripped him open and ate out his insides?
Like an Oreo Cookie. (off Xander's look) Well, except for, you know, without the chocolatey cookie goodness.
Yes. Principal Snyder has asked the faculty to keep the news quiet for now so as not to unduly upset the students.
For 'students' read 'swim team'.
So we're looking for a beastie.
That eats humans whole... except for the skin.
This doesn't make any sense.
Yeah. The skin's the best part.
Any demons with high cholesterol?
Giles slowly turns to her and gives her a look of manifest weariness.
You're going to think about that later, mister, and you're going to laugh.
Cameron sits alone, tenderly probing his broken nose and groaning in pain. He hears a noise and looks up and around.
Locker room. We see a shadow approaching the steam room.
Steam room. Dismissing the noise, Cameron leans back and relaxes. Suddenly the door to the steam room opens and he looks up, startled, as Coach Marin enters.
Okay, son, I think you've had enough. Time to hit the shower.
Xander is counting his change, heading toward the vending machines.
Too much research. Need beverage.
Cameron suddenly brushes by Xander, spilling his change onto the floor.
Hey! Watch it.
Oh, forgive me, your Swim Teamliness.
He bows sarcastically and then bends down to pick up his change.
Loser.
Likin' the nose, Cam. Good look for you.
Meaning what?
Meaning Buffy must not be on your list of privileges after all. (chuckles) Man, I love it when you guys mess with her.
You're lucky I'm hungry.
Oh, the cafeteria's closed.
Not to me.
He turns and stalks off as Xander laughs at his foolishness.
Cameron walks in the door and heads toward the kitchen. Suddenly, he stops and sniffs the air.
God, what is that?
Xander stands in front of the vending machine, contemplating his choice of beverage.
Grape, orange. Orange, grape.
Suddenly he hears screaming and loud crashing noises coming from the cafeteria. He bolts down the hall to see what's going on.
Xander rushes in to find the place in a shambles, tables and chairs knocked over everywhere. He sniffs the air and looks down as he passes a table. There he finds Cameron's remains: a pile of torn clothes and steaming skin.
Oh, my god.
He puts his hand over his mouth in shock and fights back the urge to vomit. He turns to go and stops short as a hulking, dark green humanoid sea monster with catfish whiskers, glistening fangs and three scaly ridges across the top of its head blocks his escape and roars menacingly.
Xander screams and slowly backs away.
Cordelia is sketching Xander's monster based on his description.
No, no, no! The mouth's a lot bigger! And downward. Like this.
She looks at him as he makes a ridiculous face and sighs.
With more teeth!
She's had enough. She puts the sketchpad down, gets up from the table.
I'm doing the best I can.
Giles looks up from a book he's been reading.
Is that what you saw, Xander?
Yeah! (considers) I think so. (beat) Pretty much.
Are you sure?
Cordelia looks expectantly at Xander.
Well, it was dark! And the thing went through the window so quick and I was a... little shocked when I saw it and--
Go ahead. Say it. You ran like a woman.
Hey, if you saw this thing, you'd run like a woman, too.
Willow and Buffy enter.
Buffy was right. According to the statistics, Dodd and Cameron were the best swimmers on the team.
First and second, actually. Which means if my theory's correct, Gage Petronzi, the third-best swimmer on the team, would be the next item on the menu.
God, this is so sad. We're never going to win the state championship. I think I've lost all will to cheerlead.
Raise your hand if you feel her pain.
Cordelia sneers at him
If you're saying these killings aren't random, it would suggest someone's out for revenge.
And raise the possibility that someone brought forth this sea monster from whence it came to exact that revenge. (considers) 'From whence it came'? (to Giles) I'm spending way too much time around you.
Who would hate the swim team that much, though? (off Buffy and Cordelia's look) Besides me, I mean.
Oh!
Willow?
Jonathan! He was bullied by Dodd the other day on the beach, remember?
He did say he could take care of things himself. It's a good call. You should question him.
Really? Me? (tough) I'll crack him like an egg.
Meanwhile, I think swimmer number three might benefit from your... watchful eye and protection. Discreetly, of course.
I'm on it.
Buffy heads out.
What about me? What can I do?
Well, you could go out to the parking lot and practice running like a man.
Xander gives her a nasty look and Cordelia smiles with satisfaction.
Gage reclined on one of the couches, feet up and playing his GameBoy. Pull back to reveal Buffy sitting across the room and watching him while pretending to read a magazine. Gage can feel her eyes on him and shoots her a glance. Buffy quickly drops her eyes back to her magazine. Gage goes back to his GameBoy and Buffy slowly turns to watch him again.
Jonathan is sitting in a chair at the front of the room. Willow aims a reading lamp at him as she interrogates him.
So, Jonathan. You tried out for the swim team twice and never made it?
I'm asthmatic. I couldn't keep up.
You resented it, didn't you?
Maybe.
You hated being pushed around by Dodd and the others.
So?
So you wanted revenge, didn't you?
She leans toward him suddenly, her tone harsh; she's the embodiment of the stereotype of the tough police interrogator.
Didn't you!
Yeah! Okay? I did!
Willow smiles with satisfaction. She's broken him.
So... you delved into the Black Arts and conjured up a hell-beast from the ocean's depths to wreak your vengeance.
Huh?
Didn't you?
What? No! I snuck in yesterday and... peed in the pool.
Oh. (disgusted) Eww!
He looks down in shame.
Principal Snyder and Coach Marin enter from outside and head for the student lounge.
This is such a blow. Sooner or later, the rest of my boys are going to find out. How can I ask them to swim?
It's a terrible, terrible tragedy. We all feel your pain, Coach. I don't know two finer boys than Cameron and... that other one. But I know they'd want their friends to go on and win that state championship. It's time to think about the team.
Well, I don't have a complete team as it is. If we don't find someone by this afternoon's tryouts, we won't be eligible to compete.
You'll find someone. All he has to do is wear a bathing suit, right?
The two adults move on but Xander has overheard their conversation and watches them go, considering.
People come and go. Buffy is at the bar nursing a drink and watching Gage, practicing billiard shots.
Buffy is bored at the bar and nonchalantly walks closer to the pool table. She moves behind a pillar and surreptitiously peeks out from behind it. Her change of position is not lost on Gage and he stiffens, frustrated at being watched so closely. He shoots her a look and she quickly turns away. Gage has had enough. He puts down his pool cue and walks over to her.
Buffy looks back at the pool table and sees that Gage is gone. She steps around the pillar to look for him and practically runs right into him.
This "me-and-my-shadow" act? It's getting old. What do you want from me?
Well... it's a little embarrassing. You see, I'm a swim groupie.
Right.
Oh, yeah. (smiles) You know, there's just something about the smell of chlorine on a guy. Oh, baby.
Hmm.
He turns to go, not buying her story.
Okay, okay. Obviously, my sex appeal is on the fritz today, so I'll just give it to you straight. There's something lurking out there and it's making fillets of the populace and I think you might be next.
Uh-huh. And you think that because?
Well, it's already attacked. It's already killed some people.
You're one twisted sister, you know that? Cam told me about your games. Go find someone else to harass.
He shoves past her and heads out of the Bronze. Buffy sighs and looks after him.
Gage heads off down the street muttering to himself.
What a psycho bitch, man.
ANGELUS appears from behind a pile of crates.
Gotta be talking about Buffy.
Gage turns to him, startled.
How'd you know?
She and I... had this thing once. Biggest mistake of my life.
Yeah. My condolences, dude.
She's a real head-tripper.
Tell me about it. Girl acts like she's god's gift or something.
Who is she? The Chosen One?
Exactly.
You know, what she really needs is for someone to really knock her down off her notches.
Yeah, that'd be sweet. Anyone in mind?
You're in luck, my friend.
Gage turns to look at Angelus but there's no one there; he has disappeared.
Just so happens...
Gage turns around quickly to find Angelus looming over him, his fangs glistening in the ambient light.
...I'm recruiting.
Gage reels back in terror and screams as Angelus seizes him and buries his teeth into Gage's flesh.
Buffy. She strolls out of the Bronze in time to hear Gage's screams.
Somebody! Help! Get him off me! Help!
Angelus. He drops Gage, his mouth dripping blood. He wipes his mouth and spits the blood out onto the ground. He looks up in time to take a powerful kick to the head. He seems unfazed by her blow and stares at her as she brandishes the small stake that doubles as her hairpin.
Why, Miss Summers! You're beautiful!
He quickly bends down, picks Gage up and throws him at her, knocking her to the pavement. He spits out more blood and leaves smiling.
Buffy and Gage stand up, Gage rubbing his neck.
Was that the thing that killed Cameron?
No. That was something else.
Something else?
Yeah. Unfortunately, we have a lot of something elses in this town. Good night.
She walks off and Gage looks back and forth between Buffy and the empty alley, considering his options.
Hey!
Buffy stops and looks back at him. He runs and catches up to her.
Walk me home?
She motions for him to follow and they leave.
Six members of the swim team are on the blocks ready to start a heat.
Swimmers! Take position!
They take their marks, the coach blows his whistle and they're off. He follows the swimmers along the side of the pool, barking instructions as they go. Willow, Buffy and Cordelia are watching from the stands. In the middle of the pool Gage stops, stands up and lifts off his goggles.
Keep the stroking up. All right. Keep it going, keep it going all the way to the end. All the way to the end. Breathe deep.
Gage spots Buffy in the stands and waves to her. The coach blows his whistle at him and Buffy waves back to Gage discreetly. Willow notices and gives her a sly smile and Buffy smiles back.
Gage! You with us or not? C'mon, let's go!
So he spit it out? I thought Angel liked blood.
He used to.
Maybe his eyes were too big for his stomach.
Or maybe there was something in Gage's blood that Angel didn't like. Say, for example, steroids.
That would explain all their behavioral changes.
And their winning streak.
So maybe whatever's in their blood is what's attracting this creature to them.
Any luck researching our fish monster?
Zippo. We couldn't find any sea demon that matched the description that Xander gave us. Not that Chicken Little's much of a witness, but...
Her eye is caught by a swimmer coming out of the locker room.
Oh.
Cut to a shot of the swimmer, pan up from his knees to athletic legs, past his crimson Speedo's and tight abs and up to his hairless chest.
Oh! Oh, my! Now that, girls, is my kind of...
We reaches the swimmer's face and reveal
Xander?
Willow stares in wide-eyed shock.
Xander?!
Xander sees the girls staring at him and he scrambles over to a pile of kickboards, grabs the one off the top and hides behind it. The girls stand up and come down from the stands. Xander sidles over to them.
What the hell are you doing here?
Shh! I'm undercover.
Not under much.
Get out of here before someone sees you impersonating a member of the swim team!
I don't do impersonations. I tried out for the team last night. I made it.
Really?
Yeah. I figured I can keep an eye on Gage and the others when Buffy can't.
When you're nude? (off Buffy's nudge) I meant to say 'changing'.
Harris! You can flirt on your own time!
Okey-dokey, Coachie.
He backs away and goes to join the rest of the team, covering his butt with his free hand. Cordelia smiles proudly.
I'm dating a swimmer from the Sunnydale swim team!
You can die happy.
She and Willow watch as Xander mounts a starting block and puts on his swim cap.
What about Jonathan? Is he involved?
Oh, no. He just... sort of... peed in the pool.
Oh.
The girls look back at Xander and watch as he dives in. His dive is a bit sloppy, but not at all bad. The ramification of Willows revelation sink in and Buffy cringes.
Oh!
After practice. Xander joins the others and finds an available spot in the sauna.
Don't you guys get claustrophobic in here? I mean, what's the deal? You perspire a lot. You can't breathe. Or read. I mean, I guess you could, but the pages would probably get all wet.
CU: drain in the floor of the locker room. Green, clawed fingers poke through and push up the grating.
Buffy is waiting outside the locker room for Xander and Gage to come out. She leans against the wall and sighs, impatient. A moment later Xander comes out with a towel over his head, rubbing his hair dry.
You gotta love this undercover deal. Twenty minutes in a hot room with a bunch of sweaty guys...
Where's Gage?
I don't know. He was right behind me, putting his sneakers on. But it's not the Velcro kind, so give him a couple of extra minutes. (taps her on the shoulder) Tag. You're it.
Xander leaves and Buffy resigns herself to waiting.
Gage is lacing up his shoes. He stops and sniffs, smelling something foul. After assuring himself that the smell is not coming from his own armpits, he gets up to investigate. He walks through the locker room looking around, passing the steam room and the whirlpool bath. The smell gets stronger as he passes a row of lockers. He focuses on one locker in particular and opens it.
Buffy is still waiting for Gage to come out. Suddenly his scream cuts through the silent hallway.
Oh, my god!
She dashes into the locker room.
A huge fish-like monster stands before Gage, roaring and approaching him menacingly.
Help me!
Buffy runs in and pushes the terrified Gage away from the monster. The creature bellows as Buffy confronts it, but doesn't move to attack her. Behind her, Gage has collapsed to the floor and continues to scream, not in fear anymore but in agony. He writhes on the floor in pain. Buffy looks back at Gage, concerned.
Gage?
He reaches out to her for help, falls back, convulsing. Buffy takes a step closer, but stops in shock as he struggles to his knees and rips open his shirt. Gage claws the skin of his chest, ripping it open to reveal fish-like scales. He watches in horror as the skin on his hand rips apart and a scaly, clawed hand emerges.
Buffy watches nervously, glancing between the monster and Gage's transformation.
Gage has now fully transformed into a hulking sea monster and stands up, his human skin and clothes sloughing off onto the floor. Buffy stares in horror and starts to back off. The Gage-monster roars, advances on her and takes a swipe with its claws. The first monster angles behind her and closes in as well. Buffy backs away, trapped between the two snarling beasts.
Buffy is trapped between the two sea creatures. She stops cowering and attacks, kicking both monsters and sending one sprawling to the floor. Pressing her advantage, she takes a mop and uses it as a quarterstaff, punching and jabbing with it, knocking the monsters back as they try to attack. One of the creatures seizes her from behind and buries its teeth deep into her arm. She screams out in pain and the monster shoves her into a bank of lockers, and she falls to the floor, dazed.
Suddenly Coach Marin runs into the locker room to investigate the commotion and finds Buffy on the floor being menaced by the hideous monsters. He helps Buffy to her feet and the two monsters back off and dive into the drain in the floor, disappearing in a flash.
Nurse Greenleigh is bandaging Buffy's arm. Giles and the coach are standing nearby, concerned.
I don't think that this is going to need stitches, but you might want to have your family physician take a look at it.
She moves off and Giles approaches Buffy.
How are you?
I'm definitely feeling the burn.
Well, the good news is that it would appear that none of your team actually died.
But the bad news is... they're monsters.
How could this happen?
Are you saying you don't know?
Well, you work so hard, you start to win suddenly. You think it's just you... you're inspiring the boys to greatness. But in the back of your mind, you start to wonder.
You never asked any of the boys if they were taking anything?
Maybe I was afraid to.
Buffy and Giles aren't buying it.
Willow, Buffy and Xander are at the computer surfing through the school medical files.
There.
Dodd McAlvy: torn tendon. Gage Petronzi: fractured wrist, depression, headaches.
It's all there in the school medical records.
All symptomatic of steroid abuse.
But is steroid abuse usually linked with, 'Hey, I'm a fish'?
There must be something else in the mix. But the point is, these boys were obviously drugged.
And Nurse Greenleigh treated every one of them. She must have known.
If steroids are that dangerous, why would they do that to themselves?
They needed to win. And winning equals trophies, which equals prestige for the school. You see how they're treated. It's been like that forever.
Sure. The discus throwers got the best seats at all the crucifixions.
Meanwhile, I'm breaking my nails every day battling the forces of evil and my French teacher can't even remember my name.
So what's the drill? Get Nurse Greenleigh?
Let's throw the book at her!
She probably went home for the day. I think it can wait. Xander, why don't you see if you can find out what these boys are taking or at least how they're taking it? Powders, pills, syringe?
I'm Lookin'-Around Guy.
What about you?
Giles loaded up the tranquilizer gun. We're going fishing.
It's dark, dank and very wet. Buffy walks around a bend in the tunnel with a flashlight, scanning as she goes. Behind her, Giles follows with the air rifle held ready. Giles takes aim at a curious noise ahead, however the flashlight beam reveals it to be a rat. They continue on, Buffy leading the way. As they pass a tunnel junction, we focus on a dark accessway; the head of one of the sea monsters emerges and tracks their progress down the sewer drain.
The entire swim team is relaxing in the misting fog.
I feel good! Lovin' the swimmin'. Had some carrot juice this morning... a little wheat germ mixed in with it. Woke me right up. Nothin' like it, huh? Breakfast of state champions. You betcha. Okay. So... when do we get our next dose?
What do you mean?
Who's carrying? I need a little something to improve my performance. Give me an edge. Rrr!
Sean looks away, smiling.
The steroids. Where are they?
You're soakin' in it, bud.
Huh?
Sean inhales and exhales deeply.
Aroma therapy. It's in the steam.
Xander is stunned.
Nurse Greenleigh is in a heated argument with the coach.
This has got to stop, Carl. Those poor children.
What, are you-- a quitter? We've got no room for quitters on this team.
Do you even understand what's happening? Listen to yourself.
I'm very close to perfecting this. We just need to adjust the mix.
They head down a stairway to the pool equipment storage room.
Carl. You can't be thinking of continuing to expose these boys.
They're going to be the best. I don't accept anything less.
They're going to be monsters. Carl, please. Don't make it any worse. You've already lost three.
The coach stops and stares at the nurse.
Lost? Why, they're not lost.
He takes her by the arms and shoves her down into a trap door in the floor. She screams as she splashes into a large underground pool below the swim center. The water is not deep and she quickly gets to her feet, wipes the water from her eyes and looks up at him through the hole.
Carl! What are you doing?
I'm just lookin' after my boys. They may be out of the game right now but they're still a team. (beat, cold) And a team's gotta eat.
He lifts the grating back into place, sealing her in.
Carl!
You quitter.
He stands up and looks down at her, waiting. Nurse Greenleigh looks around and, as the situation dawns on her, begins to panic. Suddenly she screams and is yanked under the water. Then silence.
Xander paces nervously while the group discusses his predicament.
They're absorbing the steroid mixture through the steam.
Not they. We. Me! We have to find an antidote, don't you think? The clock is ticking, people!
I wouldn't break out the tartar sauce just yet. I mean, it's not like you were exposed more than once. (off Xander's look) Twice?
Three times a Fish Guy.
BUFFY & WILLOW
Oh...
Whoa.
What am I going to do?
You, you, you! What about me? It's one thing to be dating the lame unpopular guy but it's another to be dating the creature from the Blue Lagoon.
Black Lagoon. The creature from the Blue Lagoon was Brooke Shields. And thank you so much for your support!
I think we'd better find the rest of the swim team and lock them up before they get in touch with their inner halibut.
Yes. Yes, good. We also need to know exactly what's in this... steroid gas so that the hospital's toxicology lab can develop an antidote.
Well, I'll talk to Nurse Greenleigh.
You're really getting into this interrogation thing.
The trick is not to leave any marks.
Willow heads out.
On that note, I think I'm going to go have a little talk with our coach. Somehow, I doubt all he's been giving these boys is inspiration.
The coach leads Buffy to the same trap door where Nurse Greenleigh met her fate.
You got some imagination, missy.
Oh, well right now, I'm imagining you in jail. You're wearing a big orange suit and-- oh look!-- the guards are beating you up.
You don't have any proof.
Tell me what's in the steam.
After the fall of the Soviet Union, documents came to light detailing experiments with fish DNA on their Olympic swimmers. Tarpon... mako shark... but they couldn't crack it.
And you did... sort of. Why?
What kind of question is that? For the win! To make my team the best they could be! Do you understand we have a shot at the state championship?
Do you understand that I don't care? It's over. There's not going to be any swim team.
Boy, when they were handing out school spirit, you didn't even stand in line, did you?
No. I was in the line for shred of sanity.
The coach reaches into the desk behind him and takes out a 9mm semi-automatic pistol. He cocks the hammer and points the gun at Buffy.
Which you obviously skipped.
He indicates the trap door with the gun.
Get in the hole!
Buffy looks down and back up at the coach.
In! Now!
She sits down on the edge and looks up at him.
This isn't over.
In!
She gives him one last look and drops into the water below. She disappears underwater for a moment, then surfaces, wiping the water from her eyes. She looks up at the coach who is leaning over the hole.
You think I don't care about my boys. But I do. They count on me.
Buffy understands now and on alert for the monsters. Part of Nurse Greenleigh floats by and she starts at the sight of it.
So what-- you're just going to feed me to them?
Oh, they've already had their dinner. But boys have other needs.
Xander and Cordelia walk in, looking for other members of the swim team. Xander is rubbing his neck, expecting to find gills growing.
No one. Willow and Giles must've rounded up the rest of the swim team.
Does my neck look scaly to you?
Well, of course it looks scaly, the way you've been rubbing it dry like an idiot.
I need to look in a mirror. Wait here. But feel free to come in if you hear me scream.
He runs off into the locker room. Cordelia lingers around the pool, waiting. She hears a door close and glances behind her, but sees no one. A door opens and she assumes it's Xander.
Any gills yet?
Behind her, a sea creature lurches in and jumps into the pool. She looks into the pool, but can't make out the monster because of the distortion of the water.
Xander, what are you doing? (giggles) Xander?
The creature swims into more placid water and Cordelia can see it clearly now.
Oh, my god! Xander!
She walks along the edge of the pool, following the monster as it swims under water.
It's me-- Cordelia? I know you can't answer me, but... god, this is all my fault. You joined the swim team to impress me. You were so courageous. And you looked really hot in those Speedo's. And I want you to know that I still care about you, no matter what you look like. And... and we can still date. Or not. I mean... I understand if you want to see other fish. I'll do everything I can to make your quality of life better... whether that means little bath toys or whatever.
Xander walks up behind her.
Uh, Cordy?
Cordelia spins around quickly, startled, and draws a frightened breath.
That's not me.
They both look down at the creature and it suddenly lunges out of the water. Cordelia screams and Xander pulls her up and away. They back off and run from the swim center.
Giles leads the other swim team members into the cage.
In you go.
They are all a bit confused, but obey nevertheless. Giles closes and locks the door.
Stay calm, chaps. Either we'll find an effective antidote or... stay calm.
Everyone's accounted for except Sean.
Xander and Cordelia rush into the library.
I think we can safely say we've found Sean. He was in the pool skinless-dipping.
Where's Buffy?
She hasn't come back yet.
Pan slowly around the pool of pitch black water. One of the sea monsters pokes its head out of the water behind a pillar and eyes Buffy.
CU on Buffy.
Great. This is just what my reputation needs: that I did it with the entire swim team.
Another one of the creatures breaks the surface, stalking Buffy. She tries to jump up to the grate to no avail. She starts and looks around nervously when a growl echoes through the chamber.
POV: Sea monster; moving past Buffy's legs below the surface of the water.
Xander walks in and spots the coach leaning over the trap door, gloating.
What's up, coach?
Oh! Harris. How you feelin'?
Little dry. Nothing a lemon butter sauce won't cure.
They both chuckle nervously.
Where's Buffy?
The coach's eyes dart to his gun laying on a barrel just behind Xander.
One of the creatures suddenly rises up behind Buffy and lunges at her. She reacts quickly, tossing it aside. Another one attacks her and she shoves it into the wall falling underwater in the process. The monsters continue to attack and Buffy does her best to keep them at bay.
Coach Marin goes for the gun but Xander grabs his arm, smashes it into the barrel and the gun drops to the floor. He elbows the coach in the face, who falls over unconscious.
Buffy is holding her own as the creatures come for her in turn. But soon they wise up and the three of them surround her and slowly close in.
Xander rushes over to the hole and looks down. When he sees what's going on below, he quickly prones himself out and reaches down for Buffy.
Buffy, hurry! Your hand!
Buffy looks up with relief at Xander, then crouches down and leaps ten feet straight up, grabbing Xander's hand.
Hold on!
He pulls for all he's worth as the creatures paw at Buffy's legs, trying to drag her back down.
Pull!
Hold on!
He slowly pulls her up and she emerges from the hole, coughing and panting.
Thanks.
Just doing my part for our team.
Behind him, the coach has regained consciousness and hits Xander across the back with a large pipe wrench. He swings at Buffy next but she ducks and trips him, sending him crashing through the trap door. Buffy reacts fast and grabs his ankle.
Don't let go! Don't let go of me! Hold me!
But Buffy can't maintain her grip and he falls into the water below. The coach stands up, coughing and sputtering. Buffy reaches down.
Grab my hand!
He's petrified of his own "boys" and in his terror, he doesn't hear Buffy command.
Boys! Boys, now, now, boys! No! I--
The creatures savagely attack him.
No, boys!
He screams and struggles as they pull him under. Buffy turns away, sickened.
Those boys really love their coach.
Willow and Buffy are sitting on one of the couches talking with Xander and Cordelia.
Let's see. I gotta take a make-up chem test at three. And then I'm meeting some of the guys for plasma transfusions at five. It's turned into quite the busy afternoon.
The fun never stops with you, does it?
Giles seems pretty confident that the treatments are going to work.
Well, turning into a creepy-crawly wasn't on my top ten list of things to do before I turn twenty.
I want you to know that you've really proven yourself to me. And you don't have to join the new team next year if you don't want. I'd be just as happy if you played football.
Giles wanders in and approaches them.
The... people from animal control have just left. Our creatures have apparently made a dash for it... so to speak.
Does that mean we're going to have to hunt them again?
No, I don't think so. I don't think we'll be seeing them anymore.
Where do you think they'll go?
Home.
The waves roll in as the three monsters dive into the surf and begin to swim out to sea.