[Transcript of "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" episode Doppelgangland at buffyology.com.]
Dozens of candles on several tall iron candleholders line the chamber. An altar stands at one end. Upon it sits the demon D'HOFFRYN. Kneeling before him on a small rug is ANYA, she who was Anyanka, once demon but now doomed to be mortal, pleading her case.
Do not ask again.
But... but I--
Your powers were a gift of the lower beings. You have proved unworthy of them.
I was robbed of them.
By your carelessness.
For a thousand years I wielded the powers of The Wish. I brought ruin to the heads of unfaithful men. I brought forth destruction and chaos for the pleasure of the lower beings. I was feared and worshipped across the mortal globe. (with disgust) And now I'm stuck at Sunnydale High. Mortal. Child. And I'm flunking math.
D'Hoffryn waves dismissively.
This is no concern of ours. You will live out your mortal life and die.
Give me another chance. You can fold the fabric of time. Send me back to that place and I'll change it. I won't fail again.
Your time is passed.
Do you have any idea how boring twelfth-graders are? (stands up) I'm getting my power center back. (defiant) And if you won't help me, then by the pestilent gods, I will find someone who will!
WILLOW is lying on a grassy area, concentrating hard. Soon a pencil floats up into view and starts to slowly turn end over end. Willow smiles at her successful levitation. Beside her, BUFFY does sit-ups.
The Watcher Council shrink is heavy into tests. He's got tests for everything. T.A.T.s, Rorschach, associative logic... (grunts and sits up) He even has that test to see if you're crazy that asks if you ever hear voices or you ever wanted to be a florist.
Oh, I used to want... wait. Florist means crazy, right? I never wanted to do that.
Buffy does some stretching exercises while she watches the pencil float.
Neat.
Thanks. It's all about emotional control. Plus, obviously, magick. Hey, you want to go to the Espresso Pump and get sugared-up on mochas?
I'm going to pass. Hit the pool and do some laps.
How come the sudden calisthenics? Aren't you sort of naturally buff, Buff? (smiles and giggles) Buff Buff.
Well, they've got us running around on the physical side, too. A lot of reflex evaluation and precision training, you know. I just... well, I want to do...
Better than Faith?
So very shallow.
Competition is natural and healthy. Plus, you'll definitely ace her on the psych tests. Just don't mark the box that says, 'I sometimes like to kill people.'
I know Faith's not going to be on the cover of Sanity Fair, but she had it rough. Different circumstances, that could be me.
No way. Some people just don't have that in them.
Look, I'm sorry. I know how you hate talking about Faith.
No, it's okay.
No, really, we should just--
No. It doesn't bother me. I mean it.
Uh, Will?
Oh.
The pencil is spinning wildly. An instant later it darts off and buries itself deeply into a tree. Willow gives Buffy a concerned look.
Emotional control?
I'm working on it.
Opening credit sequence.
Principal SNYDER stands at the door, hands in pockets, looking with great satisfaction at Willow and PERCY WEST, who are seated facing his desk.
As far as I'm concerned, this is a marriage made in heaven. Willow Rosenberg, despite her unsavory associations, represents the pinnacle of academic achievement at Sunnydale High. Percy West represents a devastating fast break and 50% from behind the three-point line.
I'm not sure I understand the marriage part.
You've got the brains, he's got the fast break. It's a perfect match.
Match? You want us to breed?
I want you to tutor him. Percy is flunking history. Nothing seems to be able to motivate him.
Hey, I'm challenged.
You're lazy, self-involved and spoiled. That's quite the challenge. But we need a winning year, especially after last year's debacle with the swim team. Can't have our point guard benched. (to Willow) So, you're going to take on a little teaching job. I know how you enjoy teaching.
Well, I have a lot of work of my own.
You've got a letter of acceptance from every university with a stamp.
Yes, but I still have classes and I don't--
Rosenberg, it's time to give something back to the community. I know you want to help your school out here. Ask me how I know.
How do you--
I just know.
Willow and Buffy enter, chatting.
So he threatened you? With what?
Well, it wasn't exactly anything he said. It was all in his eyes. I mean, there was some nostril work as well, but mostly eyes.
Snyder needs me to kick his ass.
Oh, no, Buffy, don't get in trouble. I'll be okay.
Willow sets down her books and Buffy sits on the reading table.
I just hate the way he bullies people. He just assumes everyone's time is his.
GILES comes out of his office sucking on a lollipop.
Willow, get on the computer. I want you to take another pass at accessing the Mayor's files.
Okay.
She moves behind the counter and sits down at the computer. FAITH enters the library followed by an out-of-breath WESLEY.
Well, that was a blast.
How did it go?
Princess Margaret here had a little trouble keeping up.
Wesley leans heavily against the counter.
How did it go?
Faith, uh... did quite well on the obstacle field. Still a little sloppy, though.
Faith shoots him an incredulous look.
Do you feel up to taking Buffy out or shall I?
Oh, no, no. I'll be fine. Just give me a minute. (pants) And some defibrillators, if it's not too much trouble.
You're gonna love it, B. It's just like fun, only boring.
Faith, this evaluation is a necessary part of the Council's--
I know. I'm on board here. Just shooting my mouth off.
I better change.
She starts to walk out. As she passes, Faith leans toward her.
Good luck.
She reaches out, lightly brushes Buffy's shoulder with her hand and gives her a little smile. Buffy returns the smile weakly and turns to go. Wesley takes a deep breath and follows her. Faith notices Willow at the computer and hops up on the counter to sit and watch.
Whatcha doin'?
I'm trying to access the Mayor's personal files.
Can you do that?
Well, he's got some tricky barriers set up.
Can you get past 'em?
Eventually I'll get through.
Faith watches intently as Willow continues her hacking.
MAYOR WILKINS considers Faith's report.
That's very interesting.
Yeah, I thought so, too. (looks around) Are you serious about this place?
Of course I am. No Slayer of mine is going to live in a fleabag hotel. That place has a very unsavory reputation. There are immoral liaisons going on there.
Yeah, plus all the screwing. This place is the kick!
She examines a leather punching bag hanging in the corner and continues into the bedroom.
We'll keep your old place, in case you need to see your friends there, but from now on...
Faith jumps up on the bed and bounces. The Mayor is appalled.
Oh, hey! Shoes! Shoes!
Faith hops off the bed and approaches the Mayor.
Thanks, Sugar Daddy.
Now, Faith, I don't find that sort of thing amusing. I'm a family man. Now, let's kill your little friend.
Faith looks at him uneasily.
Don't worry. I wouldn't ask you to do it. Not this early in the relationship. Besides, I think a vampire attack would be less suspicious anyway. In the meantime, let's take a look at the rest of the apartment, huh? If I'm not mistaken, some lucky girl has herself a PlayStation.
No way.
Yes way!
OZ catches up to Willow as she walks along.
Hey!
Oz! Hi!
They smile at each other and hug.
There's something about you that's causing me to hug you. It's like I have no will of my own.
Willow has a huge smile on her face.
Where were you yesterday?
We got back late, sort of very.
We? Who? Where?
The band. We had a gig in Monterrey Sunday night.
They stop at a classroom.
Oh, you did? How come I didn't know?
I thought you did.
Maybe I would have liked to go.
Didn't figure you for missing school.
You think I'm boring.
I'd call that a radical interpretation of the text. We're playing tonight at the Bronze.
I can't. I have too much homework.
If you get done early...
He enters the classroom and their hands don't part until the last second.
Willow catches up with Percy. He continues walking, completely disinterested.
Percy! Hey. Listen, I thought we could get together today at lunch and go over your Roosevelt paper. You know, what books you'll need and stuff.
What are you talking about?
Me tutoring you. Your history paper?
Oh, yeah, yeah. Snyder said you were going to do it.
He never said that.
What meeting were you at?
Look, I'll get the books you need. Just meet me at lunch and--
No, no, no. I don't have any time at lunch. I gotta hang out.
Well...
He stops and faces her, impatient.
What, you got something better to do? Just type it up and put my name on it. Oh, and don't type too good. Dead giveaway.
He turns and walks away leaving Willow to sink down on one of the benches dejectedly. She takes off her pack, reaches in and pulls out a banana.
I'm eating this now. It's not lunchtime, I don't even care.
Before she can begin peeling it, Buffy and XANDER approach.
Hey.
Willow, did you remember to tape Biography last Friday?
Uh-huh.
See, I told you. Old Reliable.
Xander nods and smiles. Willow is not amused.
Oh, thanks.
What?
'Old Reliable'? Yeah, great. There's a sexy nickname.
Well, I didn't mean it as--
No, it's fine. I'm 'Old Reliable'.
She just means, you know, the geyser. You're like a geyser of fun that goes off at regular intervals.
That's Old Faithful.
Isn't that the dog that the guy had to shoot?
That's Old Yeller.
Xander, I beg you not to help me. Will, I didn't mean it as a bad thing. I think it's good to be reliable.
Well, maybe I don't want to be reliable all the time. Maybe I'm not just some doormat person. Homework Gal.
I'm thinking nerve strike.
Willow scowls at him and turns to leave, but hesitates.
Maybe I'll change my look! Or cut class. You don't know.
Buffy and Xander stare at her, wide-eyed.
And I'm eating this banana. Lunchtime be damned!
Willows strides away. Buffy starts after her.
Will, wait. I'm really sorry...
Buff, I'm storming off. It doesn't really work if you come with me.
Oh.
Willow continues on her way and Buffy looks to Xander for some kind of explanation.
As Willow trudges up the stairs, Anya notices her.
Uh, Willow?
Uh, hi.
Anya. I'm sort of new here. I know Cordelia?
Oh, fun.
Yeah, listen, I have this little project I'm working on, and I heard you were the person to ask if--
Yeah, that's me. Reliable-Dog-Geyser Person. What do you need?
Oh, it's nothing big. (secretive) Just a little spell I'm working on.
A spell? (nonchalant) Oh. I like the Black Arts.
I just need a secondary to create a temporal fold. I heard you were a pretty powerful wicca, so...
You heard right, mister! I'm always ready to work some dark mojo. So, tell me, is it dangerous?
Oh, no.
Well, could we pretend it is?
After school hours. Pull back from a large white plate with a representation of Anya's lost necklace painted on it. Willow kneels facing it, arranging herbs, bones and candles. Anya sits at a desk and prepares a mixture of sands and powders.
The necklace was a family heirloom passed down for generations. Then it was stolen from my mom's apartment.
How does the spell work?
Well, we both call on Eryishon, the Endless One, offer up the standard supplication, then there's a teensy temporal fold. We hope. Then I pour the sacred sand on the representation of the necklace and Eryishon brings it forth from the time and place it was lost.
Anya kneels down opposite Willow
Cool.
Are we ready?
I think so.
Anya takes a deep breath and holds her hand out palm up over the plate.
Eryishon. K'shala. Meh-uhn.
Willow also reaches out with her hand palm up, keeping hers tip-to-tip with Anya's.
Diprecht. Doh-tehenlo nu-Eryishon.
Anya picks up the bottle of sacred sand and holds it over the plate.
The child to the mother.
Willow takes hold of the bottle as well.
The river to the sea.
Anya closes her eyes.
Eryishon, hear my prayer.
Willow closes her eyes also. There is a low rumbling, and a pillar of energy appears over the plate and around the girls' hands. Their hands begin to shake, and Willow's eyes whip open, surprised by how powerful this spell actually is.
Scenes from an alternate universe flash before her:
Anyanka chokes Giles, then licks her fingers.
Herself and Xander as vampires.
Anyanka's necklace.
Buffy stakes Xander.
Herself as a vampire, impaled on the broken wood of a cage.
Anyanka's necklace smashed.
Buffy smashes her fist into her vampire twin's face; The Master watches as she falls to the floor.
Oz comes for her as the Master grabs Buffy and snaps her neck, dropping her corpse to the ground.
In the classroom, Anya turns over the bottle of sand and pours it out. Some of it sifts through Willow's fingers before hitting the plate. More visions follow:
Angel lets imprisoned humans out of their cages; she herself grabs one of them and viciously kills him.
Oz reaches out to grab her... and suddenly she disappears from the scene.
Willow flashes back to the classroom, where she stares with in surprise and shock as the pillar of energy fades.
That was... what was that?
Slowly Willow stands up. Anya feels for her necklace in the sand.
Oh, it's not here. It's not here!
Okay, that's a little blacker than I like my arts.
Oh, don't be such a wimp.
That, wasn't just some temporal fold, that was some weird hell- place. I don't think you're telling me everything.
I swear, I am just trying to find my necklace.
Well, did you try looking inside the sofa in Hell?
Look, we'll just try it again, and--
No! I think emphatically not!
I can't do it by myself!
That's a relief. I'm out of here.
Fine! Go! (mutters to herself) Idiot child.
Willow overhears.
I believe these chicken feet are mine. Look, magick is dangerous, Anya. It's not to be toyed with. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have someone else's homework to do.
She leaves the room. Anya looks down at the plate, frustrated, then picks it up.
Nothing!
She smashes the plate in frustration.
It's empty except for a lot of small debris. VAMPIRE WILLOW stands up and looks around, shocked to suddenly find that the Master, his killing machine, the humans, the vampires-- everything she knows is gone.
This is weird.
The street in front of the Sun Cinema. Hotel and The Goose Ran are the featured films. Pan down from the sign to reveal several children running along the sidewalk and past Vampire Willow.
She's stands in the street, disoriented and confused by everything she sees around her. There are so many people and children boldly walking and running around at night without a care in the world. To her this is simply unbelievable. These people should be cowering in their homes, not out enjoying themselves.
As she walks along the stree, some people pass her, crossing the street from the theater to the Espresso Pump, coming within arms length, blissfully unaware of who she is. No one fears her. No one even notices her.
Behind her, she hears a girl screaming and turns to look but the girl is just playing with her teasing boyfriend, not shaking with fear of the undead. An OLD WOMAN unabashedly approaches her, not at all put off by her full leather dominatrix attire.
Excuse me, young lady...
Vampire Willow rounds on her and snarls. The lady is frightened and backs away shaken but she's not terrified as Vampire Willow would have expected, probably assuming she was just another drug-addled teenager. Vampire Willow rolls her eyes and continues on.
Several couples slow dance to a slow bluesy number as Vampire Willow enters and looks around. The place is calm, especially compared to what she's used to. People are hanging out, chatting, drinking, playing pool. Only a few even notice her in her black leather.
Vampire Willow stops by a pool table and looks forlornly around, taking in the situation.
A guy in a leather jacket can't help but notice Vampire Willow as she walks around him, staring at him with a menacing scowl. He just keeps going. He doesn't want anything to do with her.
Distracted, Vampire Willow bumps into Percy.
Hey! Rosenberg? What are you doing? Trick-or-treating? You're supposed to be at home doing my history report. I flunk that class, you're in big trouble with Snyder. Till we graduate, I own your ass.
She raises her eyes and looks at him with weary amusement.
Bored now.
She slams the heel of her hand squarely into his chest, sending him flying backward onto the pool table. He lands hard on his back and flips backward off the other side. Percy's jock friends are shocked.
What's up with that, man?
What the heck?
Vampire Willow now has the attention of the crowd as she slowly approaches Percy.
I'm having a terrible night.
She reaches down and lifts Percy up from the floor by his throat, her fingernails sliding into his flesh as she chokes him.
Want to make it better?
Percy tries to punch her but she idly blocks him and looks up into his eyes, sadly at first but then a wide grin spreads across her face when Percy's efforts to pry her fingers from his neck fail miserably. He reaches out and seizes her neck with his other hand and tries to choke her in return. Some of the guys make fun of Percy, unaware of the seriousness of his situation.
Check it out!
Xander approaches them, eager to get in on the fun.
What's going on? Is there a funny thing?
The guys laughingly point at Vampire Willow and Percy, both throttling each other. Percy is choking to death, while Vampire Willow smiles sweetly. Xander runs up behind Percy and yanks him off her, throwing him to the floor.
Back off! You stay the hell away from her!
Okay! Sure!
He scrambles away as Xander turns to Willow to make sure she is okay. He is stunned by the way she's dressed. Vampire Willow's face brightens, glad to finally see a familiar face.
Xander!
Will, changing the look not an idle threat with you.
You're alive!
She hugs him, running her hands sensuously over his neck and back.
Uh... Will, this is verging on naughty touching here. Don't want to fall back on bad habits. (her hands reach his butt) Hands! Hands in new places!
Vampire Willow sniffs Xander and she suddenly realizes.
You're alive.
You mentioned that before. Will, are you okay?
No! Everything's different.
Buffy enters the Bronze and approaches them.
Oh. There you are.
Hey, Buff.
Aren't you going to introduce me to your-- holy god, you're Willow.
Vampire Willow recognizes the Slayer.
You.
Buffy tries to be polite.
You know what? I like the look. It's extreme, but it looks good. You know, it's a (beat) leather thing and, uh... (to Xander) I said extreme already, right?
I don't like you.
Will, I'm sorry about today. You know how my foot likes to live in my mouth. But you know, you really didn't have to prove anything.
Vampire Willow stares at both of them with disgust.
Leaving now.
Will, gotta say, not lovin' the new you.
Buffy starts after her.
Will, wait...
She grabs Vampire Willow's arm from behind and turns her around and is rocked back with horror when she sees the demon in Willow's face.
Get off me!
She shakes the Slayer off and stalks away, leaving Buffy and Xander standing in complete shock and dawning horror.
Vampire Willow strides through a darkened alley. Behind her, two vampires rise into view.
Willow Rosenberg.
Vampire Willow stops, smiling with anticipation.
I'm not supposed to talk to strangers.
Then we won't talk.
He nudges his partner and they attack. Vampire Willow launches a kick, sending one stumbling back as ALFONSE lunges at her. She grabs his shoulder and uses his momentum to slam him to the ground. The fight continues, Willow beating back both opponents until finally she seizes Alfonse's hand and jerks it back hard, snapping his wrist. He grunts in pain and gives in.
You made me cranky.
She brushes her fingers against his.
There's been a mistake here. We were sent after a human.
Really? Who do you work for?
I'm not telling you a thing.
With a half-smile, she takes one of his fingers and bends it back sharply, breaking it. He screams in pain.
Who do you work for?
Wilkins. The Mayor.
She takes another finger and snaps it. Again he cries out in pain.
Who do you work for?
You.
She drops his arm and lets him up. The other vampire gets up also, rubbing his head.
Get your friends. Bring them here. The world's no fun anymore. We're going to make it the way it was. Starting with the Bronze.
Alfonse nods obediently at his new boss and moves off.
Buffy and Xander walk in, both silent, still in shock. Giles hears them come in and walks out of his office.
Oh, Buffy. I thought you were going out tonight. I didn't expect...
He sees their expressions.
What is it?
Later, after they've explained. They sit on the stairs, detached and staring off into space. Giles dangles his glasses from his hands. Xander idly handles a cross.
This isn't real.
I can't feel anything. Arms, legs, anything.
She was truly the finest of all of us.
Way better than me.
Much, much better.
It's all my fault.
What makes you say that?
Oh, I don't know... statistical probability?
No, it's me. It's me. I'm the one that called her reliable. She must have gone out and gotten attacked, which she never would have done if I hadn't have called her reliable. And now my best friend is...
Willow enters.
What's going on?
They all look up, shocked. Xander lifts his cross in defense. Willow notices their sad expressions.
Jeez, who died? (beat) Oh, god! Who died?
Xander jumps up and shoves the cross in Willow's face.
Back! Get back, demon!
Rather than cower, she looks at him like he's flipped out or something. Xander shakes the cross as though it were broken and puts it back in her face. Buffy and Giles notice that she's not frightened of the cross and slowly approach.
Willow... you're alive?
Aren't I usually?
Without any further hesitation, Buffy runs to her best friend and hugs her hard and close. An instant later Xander is also hugging her for all he's worth.
I love you guys, too?
Willow starts to buckle under their love.
Okay. Oxygen becoming an issue.
They both let go, smiling at her with tears in their eyes. She smiles back but still doesn't know what to make of it all.
Giles, what's going on with these--
Before she can finish she finds herself being warmly embraced again by the normally reserved Watcher.
Oh!
Giles quickly releases her, a bit embarrassed at his emotional display.
Sorry.
It's really nice that you guys missed me. Say, you all didn't happen to do a bunch of drugs, did you?
Will, we saw you at the Bronze. A vampire.
I'm not a vampire.
You are. I mean, you were. (very confused) Giles, planning on jumping in with an explanation any time soon?
Well... something... strange is happening.
Can you believe the Watcher's Council let this guy go?
Anya walks up to the bar and sits.
What a day. (to the bartender) Give me a beer.
She gives him an incredulous look.
(losing it)
I'm eleven hundred and twenty years old! Just give me a friggin' beer!
Give me a Coke.
Oz and DEVON set up their equipment.
Man, we need a roadie. (wistfully) Other bands have roadies.
Well, other bands know more than three chords. Your professional bands can play up to six, sometimes seven, completely different chords.
That's just like fruity jazz bands.
ANGEL enters.
Oz.
Hey, man. You looking for Buffy?
As always.
Well, no sightings as of yet but I think she said she'd show.
The front door to the club opens and in walk several vampires. They fan out into the crowd. The patrons back away in fright. Alfonse enters last, seizes an unlucky boy and throws him onto a table.
That doesn't look good.
Everybody shut up!
From over at the bar, Anya notices the vampires and begins to take an interest.
All right. Nobody cause any trouble or try to leave... and nobody gets hurt.
Why don't I believe him?
Well, he lacks credibility.
One of the vampires stops a guy from leaving through the back door.
Can you get out of here?
Skylight in the roof. I can make it.
I think we need some backup.
I think I'm needed here.
Ten to one. Could get pointless.
The front door opens again and another vampire enters, followed closely by Vampire Willow. She looks around, quite pleased. Anya straightens up now, quite intrigued. Vampire Willow smiles when she reaches the middle of the empty dance floor.
Look. Everyone's all afraid. (sighs blissfully) It's just like old times.
Oz looks at Angel, deadly serious.
Get Buffy. Do it now.
Angel wastes no time and begins climbing the stage ropes to the roof. Devon moves behind Oz.
Dude, check out your girlfriend.
Vampire Willow saunters leisurely SANDY who sits alone at a table.
What's your name?
Sandy.
Vampire Willow lightly runs her fingers along Sandy's arm and takes her hand. She slowly pulls her onto the dance floor where everyone can see them.
You don't have to be afraid... just to please me. (to everyone) If you're all good boys and girls, we'll make you young and strong forever and ever.
She turns Sandy around to face the stage and stands behind her, continuing to fondle Sandy's shoulders and head.
We'll have fun.
Sandy flinches when Vampire Willow moves her hair to the side, forcing Sandy to tilt her head, leaving her neck exposed. Vampire Willow lasciviously licks the girl's neck.
If you're not...
She looks around, face morphing into a demonic snarl and bites Sandy savagely on the neck, draining her. Oz tries to run to Sandy's aid but is stopped by one of the vampires.
No, man!
When Vampire Willow is finished feeding, she lets Sandy's lifeless body collapse to the floor and her face returns to normal.
Questions? Comments?
Willow. You don't want to do this.
I don't? But I'm so good at it.
The vampire holding Oz lets him go.
Who did this to you?
Vampire Willow recognizes him.
I know you. You're a White Hat. How come you're talking to me like we're friends?
Anya slowly approaches her from behind.
Because he thinks you're someone else. He thinks you're the Willow that belongs in this reality.
Another me?
You know this isn't your world, right? I mean, you know you don't belong here.
No. This is a dumb world. (smiles wistfully) In my world there are people in chains and we can ride them like ponies.
You want to get back there?
Yeah.
So do I.
Giles sits deep in thought. Willow leans in Giles' office doorway while Buffy and Xander sit on the study table.
This is creepy. I don't like the thought that there's a vampire out there that looks like me.
Not looks like. Is.
It was exactly you, Will, every detail. Except for your not being a dominatrix. (beat) As far as we know.
Oh, right. Me and Oz play 'Mistress of Pain' every night.
Did anyone else just go to a scary visual place?
Oh, yeah.
They all look up as Angel makes a quick and noisy entrance, breathing hard.
Buffy... something's happened that... Willow's dead.
Buffy and Xander nod knowingly. Willow walks out from behind the counter. Angel notices her.
Hey, Willow.
Suddenly it clicks in Angel's mind and he does a double take at Willow.
Wait a second.
He looks back at Buffy and Xander for confirmation.
We're right there with you, buddy.
We saw her too, at the Bronze.
Willow smiles reassuringly at him and blithely waves.
Okay. She's there now with a cadre of vampires looking to party.
The group heads for the doors.
We can figure out who she is after we stop the feeding frenzy. How many of them were there?
Eight or ten.
Should we call Faith?
No, I don't want her in combat yet. Not around civilians.
Hear, hear.
Guys? What are we going to do with me? The other me?
I don't know, Will. (beat) I mean, we just have to stop them.
I get that. I just kind of wanted to know... (beat) Oh! Hey, go. I'll catch up.
She turns back into the library as the others exit. Willow goes to the checkout counter and leans over but can't reach what she's looking for. She starts to move behind the counter just as an arm reaches around from behind and grabs her. A hand clamps over her mouth.
Alone at last.
Vampire Willow turns Willow around and looks her up and down, taking in her pink sweater with a laugh.
Well, look at me. I'm all fuzzy.
What do I want with you? (beat, confused) Uh...
Your little school friend Anya said that you're the one that brought me here. She said that you could get me back to my world.
Oh. (gets it) Oh! Oops!
But I don't know... (smiling wickedly) I kinda like the idea of the two of us.
She turns Willow around again, caressing her shoulders.
We could be quite a team, if you came around to my way of thinking.
Would that mean we'd have to snuggle?
Vampire Willow brushes Willow's hair away from her neck.
What do you say?
She gives Willow's neck an eager lick. Willow shudders with loathing and grimaces at the feeling.
Want to be bad?
This just can't get more disturbing.
Vampire Willow growls with desire and bares her teeth. Willow freaks out and whirls around, stepping back and away from her.
No more! You're really starting to freak me out!
She tries to move around Vampire Willow but is blocked. She snatches up Xander's cross from the counter and nervously waves it in Vampire Willow's face, who snarls and bats her arm away, sending the cross flying. Vampire Willow grabs Willow and throws her hard over the counter. Willow lands with a crash, hitting her head hard against the metal filing cabinet.
Ow!
Vampire Willow moves around the counter.
You don't want to play, I guess I can't force you.
Willow reaches under the counter for what she originally came for and takes out the dart rifle just as Vampire Willow comes through the door behind the counter.
Oh, wait.
Willow locks the bolt in place.
I can.
Willow frantically aims and fires. The dart hits Vampire Willow center of mass. Stunned, she looks down at the protruding dart, staggers and starts to fall.
Bitch...
She hits the floor as Willow stares in amazement at her evil twin.
Later, Angel and Xander drag Vampire Willow by the arms into the book cage.
It's extraordinary.
It's horrible! That's me as a vampire? I'm so evil and... skanky. (quietly, to Buffy) And I think I'm kinda gay.
Willow, just remember, a vampire's personality has nothing to do with the person it was.
Well, actually... (off Buffy's look) that's a good point.
So what do we do now?
We still have to get to the Bronze.
Well, even if they're supposed to wait for her they may start feeding. Vampires are not notoriously reliable.
So we charge in, much in the style of John Wayne?
High casualty risk. I haven't any other plan, though.
I have a really bad idea.
Pan down from the sign over the door as Angel drops down from the roof onto a crate, then down to the pavement.
They're still in a holding pattern. That's good. It means they must really be afraid of you.
Willow walks up to them wearing Vampire Willow's leather ensemble.
Who wouldn't be?
She shifts around uncomfortably, trying to get the feel of the tight outfit.
Are you okay in that?
It's a little binding. I guess vampires really don't have to breathe. (re: her breasts) Gosh, look at those.
Xander does, wide-eyed.
Willow, you go in and defuse the situation as best you can. At least try and get some of them to come out and even up the odds a bit.
First sign of trouble, you give us a signal. We come in hard and fast.
What is the signal?
Me screaming.
Giles, you and Xander wait by the back entrance.
Good.
They go. Buffy lingers behind.
You're sure you're up to this?
Well it was me that started it... sort of. Don't worry. I won't do anything that could be interpreted as brave.
We'll be right outside.
Willow nods and heads for the door. She takes a deep breath and knocks.
A vampire opens the door. Willow smiles and waves at him in greeting. The vampire deferentially steps back and allows her to enter.
Hi. I'm back.
She slowly walks in and Alfonse and Anya approach. Willow does her best not to show fear.
Did you find the girl?
Yep. I did.
Where is she?
I killed her.
Anya looks at her in stunned disbelief.
And sucked her blood as we vampires do.
The silence is thick with tension, making her nervous. She turns to the vampire at the door.
You know, I think maybe I heard something out there. Why don't you go check?
He opens the door and leaves.
Angel seizes the vampire by the shoulders and holds him steady as Buffy plunges a stake into his chest, turning him to dust.
Anya confronts Willow.
How could you kill her? She was our best shot at getting your world back.
I don't like that you dare question me.
Oz notices that something's different now.
Maybe I'll have my minions take you out back and kill you horribly.
She manages to smile and wave quickly at Oz without the others noticing. He responds with nothing more than a lift of his eyebrow.
Vampires. Always thinking with your teeth.
She bothered me. She's so weak and accommodating. She's always letting people walk all over her and then she gets cranky with her friends for no reason. I just couldn't let her live.
She steps over to another vampire, indicating the door.
You know, he's been gone for a while. Why don't you go check on him?
He heads for the door and leaves as well.
Well, Boss, since that plan is out, why don't we get with the killing?
Willow looks stricken, suddenly worried that her plan may have backfired.
Vampire Willow regains consciousness in the book cage, now dressed in Willow's pink sweater and flowery skirt. She sits up, noticing her new clothes.
Oh, this is like a nightmare.
The library door opens and CORDELIA walks in. She's dressed in a stunning evening dress, carrying a couple of books.
Hello? Giles?
Vampire Willow sees her and remembers killing her in the alternate universe.
Wesley? I just happened to stop by... for books.
Hey, you.
'Hey me'? Hey me, what? I have a name, you know.
Cordelia...
What did you do? Lock yourself in the book cage?
Yeah. Let me out... because I'm so helpless.
Okay.
She goes behind the counter to find the key.
I think Giles keeps a spare. How'd you manage to lock yourself in, anyway?
I was looking at books. I like books...
Cordelia finds the key and goes back to the cage.
'Cause I'm shy.
Yeah, right. The famous shy girl act all the boys fall for.
Open the cage.
Cordelia puts in the key and turns it, but stops short of unlocking it. She looks up at Vampire Willow, considering.
Wait. It occurs to me that we've never really had the opportunity to talk. You know, woman to woman... with you locked up.
Don't want to talk. Hungry.
What could we talk about? Oh, hey! How about the ethics of boyfriend stealing?
Vampire Willow can't believe this.
Willow strides onto the dance floor.
I don't know if I feel like killing anymore.
Anya and Alfonse can't believe their ears. Willow walks past a girl at a table.
I'm so bored.
She idly rakes her fingers through the girl's long hair, but they get tangled. Anya begins to become suspicious. Willow strolls over to the stage, putting Oz to her back.
It would be like shooting fish in a barrel. Where's the fun?
With all due respect, Boss, the fun would be the eating.
Maybe we should let everyone go and give them a thirty second head-start.
Anya finally figures it out.
Wait a minute...
No! I like my plan.
Oh, nice try.
Okay, let's get to the killing. (to Alfonse) Why don't we start with her?
Why don't we start with you? (to Alfonse) If she's a vampire, then I'm the Creature from the Black Lagoon.
Vampire Willow leans against the cage mesh, extremely bored. Cordelia has made herself comfortable, seated in a chair facing the cage and holding a mug of coffee.
And, okay, it isn't even like I was that attracted to Xander. It was more just that we kept being put in these life or death situations and that's always all sexy and stuff.
Vampire Willow stares at her, stunned at how intensely vapid Cordelia is.
I mean, I more or less knew he was a loser but that doesn't make it okay for you to come around and... (off Vampire Willow's look) What? Do I have something on my neck?
Not yet.
Am I getting a zit?
Cordelia, I'm very sorry. I realize I was wrong. I'll never steal your boyfriend again.
Like you could! I should just leave you in there but I'm a great humanitarian and you will just have to think of a way to pay me back sometime.
She unlocks the cage, turns the handle and pulls the door open. Vampire Willow steps out.
Okay. How about dinner?
Her face contorts and the demon in her comes to the surface.
The doors burst open and Cordelia careens out, screaming wildly, and runs down the hall.
Cordelia runs in and backs up along a row of desks, pulling them together to block Vampire Willow's way.
I didn't mean all that stuff I said before. I want you to have Xander. My blessings on you both!
Vampire Willow casually throws the desks aside, making a game of it.
I'm so over him. I need fresh blood.
Cordelia screams and dashes through the rear door to the classroom.
Wesley is walking toward the library when a scream from Cordelia catches him by surprise. He reacts defensively, dropping his briefcase and spinning round, but quickly recovers and starts running in the direction of the scream and reaching under his jacket for a cross.
Cordelia runs in and finds herself trapped. Vampire Willow strolls in behind her.
No more hiding.
Cordelia backs away as the demon advances on her. Wesley suddenly emerges, shoving the cross in her face.
Back! Creature of the night!
Vampire Willow snarls angrily.
Leave this place!
Don't want to.
Wesley nervously reaches into his jacket and pulls out a vial of Holy water. Vampire Willow sighs. He holds it up, threatening to throw it on her.
Whatever.
She turns and leaves and Wesley slowly relaxes, heaving a sigh of relief and lowering the cross and the vial. Cordelia walks up behind him and lightly touches him on the shoulder. He starts, screams and spins around, thrusting the cross and Holy water right into Cordelia's face. Recognizing her, he lowers them and tries to catch his breath.
I'm sorry.
No, no. A little on edge. You know, men in combat. Grr. Are you all right?
You saved my life. Thank you!
She flings herself at him, hugging him tightly.
Oh, yes. Uh... yes.
He is somewhat startled, but enjoys the hug while it lasts. Then they both peer out the door.
Was that...
Willow. They got Willow. (brightly) So are you doing anything tonight?
Wesley stares at her in amazement.
Anya circles Willow.
I'm just so tired of being around human beings and all their baggage. I don't care if I ever get my powers back.
Oz gets behind Willow, backing her up.
I think he should eat you.
This girl has a history of mental problems dating back to early childhood. I'm a blood-sucking fiend! Look at my outfit!
A human. I should have smelled it right away.
A human? Oh, yeah? Could a human do this?
She screams at the top of her lungs. Anya and Alfonse aren't impressed and respond simultaneously.
ANYA & ALFONSE
Sure. Yeah. Humans do that.
Willow is panicking. Suddenly the door to the club is thrown open and Buffy and Angel stride in.
Buffy rolls over the pool table, grabbing a cue stick along the way, and engages Alfonse. She trades blows with him and another attacking vampire simultaneously.
Anya, looking around at the chaos, decides it's time to leave. However, Willow blocks her way. Anya smiles sweetly at her but doesn't fool Willow. Willow
punches Anya hard, sending her to the floor unconscious and nearly breaking her hand in the process.
Ow! Ow! Ow! Happy, but ow!
Oz snatches Willow away from the fray and up onto the stage. Devon tries to copy Angel's earlier move and climb up the stage ropes, but not being undead, he just doesn't have the strength to do it.
The customers flee through the now-open front door while Angel fights viciously with two vampires.
On the stage, Oz yells at Devon, who's gotten himself caught in the ropes.
Devon, come on!
Oz leads Willow backstage but they are blocked by Vampire Willow. She seizes Oz by his shirt and throws him into Devon, sending the two boys crashing to the floor.
No more snuggles?
Vampire Willow viciously backhands her, sending Willow crashing into the drum set.
In the back room, Giles and Xander wrench the door open just as a vampire shoves a fleeing patron back into the club. Xander and Giles attack the vampire and are casually tossed aside. Regaining his footing, Xander delivers an impressive blow to the vampires face, stunning him long enough for Giles to run him through with a stake.
Vampire Willow grabs Willow around the neck, choking her.
Alfonse wrests the pool cue from Buffy's grip as another vampire hits her squarely in the side of the head. She takes it in stride and delivers a devastating series of punches in return. He stumbles against a post, where Buffy kicks him in the face, then grabs his arm and throws him into a rack of cues.
A struggling Willow is doing her best to hold her doppelg”nger at bay but isn't having much success.
Angel breaks the leg of a vampire and smashes his face, while fending off another vampire by hurling billiard balls at him.
Still fighting Alfonse, Buffy hears Willow cry out from backstage and knows she needs to finish this. Buffy uppercuts Alfonse with the pool cue and he goes flying into the pastry bar.
Vampire Willow tightens her grip on Willow's neck.
Buffy turns in Willows direction. Alfonse stands up behind her and, without turning around or taking her eyes off Willow, Buffy jams the business end of the cue stick into his chest, killing him.
Things are looking dire for Willow. Buffy runs to her aid, smashing the cue into the back of a vampire's head along the way and breaking it, resulting in a sharp makeshift stake. She leaps up onto the stage and is about to shove it into Vampire Willow's back when Willow stops her.
Buffy, no!
Buffy reacts instantly, checking herself just short of penetration and instead grabs Vampire Willow and yanks her roughly away from Willow, restraining her securely.
Angel, having finished off the rest of the vampires, hops up onto the stage as well. Vampire Willow realizes that she is now outnumbered. Willow stands up and gingerly massages her neck.
Nice reflexes.
Well, I work out.
This world's no fun.
You noticed that, too?
Giles, Anya and Oz finish setting up the spell that will send Vampire Willow back. Giles lights the candles. Xander steps over to Vampire Willow, but cautiously, not getting too close. Angel keeps a wary eye on her.
So in your reality, I'm like this bad-ass vampire, huh? People afraid of me?
Vampire Willow rolls her eyes and turns away.
Oh, yeah. I'm bad.
I'm not sure about releasing this thing into the wild, Will. It is a demon.
I just can't kill her.
No. Me, neither.
I mean, I know she's not me. We have a big nothing in common, but still...
There but for the grace of getting bit.
We send her back to her world and she stands a chance. It's the way it should be anyway.
We're about ready here.
Willow moves to Vampire Willow.
Don't you try any tricks now, dear.
I don't need tricks. When I get my powers back, you will all grovel before me.
Both Willows roll their eyes at her delusions of grandeur.
Yes, if you Willows would like to complete the circle...
Willow faces Vampire Willow for the last time.
Good luck. Try not to kill people.
Vampire Willow doesn't display any emotion but Willow smiles warmly nevertheless and gives her a big hug. Vampire Willow seems confused at first but gets into the spirit and does some naughty touching. Willow jumps back from her.
Hands! Hands!
Vampire Willow gives her a naughty, knowing smile and the two of them walk over to join the circle.
Return to the ongoing fight in the alternate universe. Vampire Willow materializes and smiles, relieved to be back in her own reality, only to be suddenly grabbed by
Oz and shoved back onto a broken piece of a wooden cage, impaling her through the heart.
Aw, fu--
She explodes into dust.
Pan down to Willow and Buffy sitting together on a wall.
You want to go out tonight?
Strangely, I feel like staying at home and doing my homework... and flossing... and dying a virgin.
You know, you can OD on virtue.
Between me and my evil self, I've got double guilt coupons. I see now where the path of vice leads. I mean, she messed up everything she touched. I don't ever want to be like that.
Percy cautiously approaches them.
Hey... hi.
Oh, hi. Listen, I didn't have a chance--
Okay, so I did the outline for the paper on Roosevelt. (hands it to her) It turns out there were two President Roosevelts, so I didn't know exactly which one to do, so I did both.
He hands her the other one. Both are nicely bound in folders. Buffy gives Willow a knowing smile. Willow just stares at him in stunned amazement.
I know they're kind of short but I can flesh them out. Oh, and here's the bibliography. I can retype that if you want. You just let me know what I did wrong and I'll get on it.
Willow is speechless, amazed by his sudden change in attitude. He starts to leave, but returns and lays an apple on the folders in her lap. He leaves again, hopping athletically over a low wall.
You want to go out tonight?
Nine o'clock sound good?