[Transcript of "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" episode Pangs at buffyology.com.]
JAMIE, a college student, walks along a path on the wooded campus. He pauses as a branch breaks nearby, then continues walking. Sensing he's being followed he spins around to find BUFFY.
Oh!
Looking for me?
Holy-- what do you want?
Buffy's only response is a massive punch to his head. Jamie gives her a startled look, then gives up the charade and brings his vampire to the surface.
Look who's home.
Jamie leers at her.
A Slayer. Why don't you just go back where you came from? Things were great before you came.
Buffy punches him again, then kicks him to the ground. As he gets back up, she seizes him from behind and rams a stake through his back.
And they say one person can't make a difference.
As Jamie disappears into a cloud of dust, we pan to the shadows nearby to reveal ANGEL watching quietly from the underbrush.
Opening credit sequence.
Dean GUERRERO is at a podium making a speech before a small crowd near a large excavation site. Earth-moving equipment and a group of shirtless workers simmer in the noon-day heat nearby. Closer examination reveals XANDER is one of the workmen.
Of all the duties of a dean, one of the most pleasant is to see a colleague realize a dream. Ladies, gentlemen, students, I present to you Professor Gerhardt of the Anthropology Department.
Professor GERHARDT stands and replaces the dean at the podium.
When I first realized we were outgrowing our current cultural center, I was concerned. Then I realized it was like seeing one's child grow up and move on to better things. In this case, a spacious new facility to be built on this site...
Buffy, WILLOW and ANYA stand together under a shade tree, watching the ground-breaking ceremony from a short distance away.
Look at him. Have you ever seen anything so masculine?
You mean Guerrero or his wife?
Willow points to Xander.
I think she means...
Oh. Very manly. Not at all Village People. So much sexier than the outfit from his last job.
Oh, I miss the free hot dogs on sticks.
I'm imagining having sex with him right now.
Buffy and Willow stifle laughter.
Gerhardt continues her speech.
And that's why it's appropriate that the ground-breaking for the UC Sunnydale Cultural Partnership Center is taking place so soon before Thanksgiving because that's what the melting pot is about-- contributions from all cultures, making our culture stronger.
Buffy begins to clap but stops self-consciously as Willow objects.
What a load of horse hooey.
We have a counter point?
Yeah. Thanksgiving isn't about blending of two cultures. It's about one culture wiping out another. And then they make animated specials about the part where... with the maize and the big, big belt buckles. They don't show you the next scene, where all the bison die and Squanto takes a musket ball in the stomach.
Okay. Now for some of that, you were channeling your mother?
Well, yeah, sort of. That's why she doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving or Columbus Day. You know, the destruction of the indigenous peoples? I know it sounds a little overwrought but really, she's... she's right.
Yeah. I guess I never really thought about it that way. With mom at Aunt Darlene's this year, I'm not getting a Thanksgiving. Maybe it's just as well.
Well, I think that's a shame. I love a ritual sacrifice.
It's not really a one of those.
To commemorate a past event, you kill and eat an animal. It's a ritual sacrifice... with pie.
The professor's speech.
...and thus, a symbolic beginning.
She walks over, picks up a shiny shovel and symbolically breaks the ground on the new cultural center.
What's she doing? Xander said he was going to dig. I want to see Xander dig.
That part's just ceremonial.
Well, it bites. She's not rippling at all. Oh, look, there he goes.
Xander and the other workers begin digging in earnest. Anya sighs with happiness.
Look at him.
Very... diggy.
Soon he'll be sweating. I'm imagining having sex with him again.
Imaginary Xander is quite the machine.
Xander throws one shovelful of dirt after another out of the excavation when suddenly the ground breaks away beneath him. He plummets downward, dropping approximately 20 feet into an underground chamber.
Xander picks himself up with a groan.
Ow. I'm okay! I'm... I'm okay! (looks around) Where am I okay?
ANGEL stares up at Buffy's room from the shadows.
Willow is excited, relating the day's events to Buffy.
While they were pulling Xander out, I heard a couple of the Anthro professors talking about it. Man, were they excited. It's the old Sunnydale Mission, which everyone thought was lost.
Buffy stares out the window, lost in thought.
Huh?
Is there something out there?
Hmm? Oh, no. I'm sorry. A lost mission. I mean, a hairbrush I can understand. And by the way, I will find that and get that back to you. But how do you lose a mission?
Huge earthquake in 1812. Everyone just assumed the mission was leveled. Instead, they built right over it. It's like what happened in the thirties with that church the Master was in. Doesn't it make you wonder what else is there... like right under our feet?
Mostly, I've just found sewers full of demons.
Oh, right.
The noise of students running mad through the halls filters into the room.
Man, it's crazy out there.
Mm-hmm. Post-midterm frenzy. And the holiday. Everyone's going home.
It looks like a lot of lucky moms are going to be getting brimming baskets of dirty laundry.
It's so not fair. I mean, they all get a family holiday just because they can go home to their families.
Hmm, it's a turvy-topsy world.
You know what? I should have my own Thanksgiving. I can cook the meal just like my mom does, have all you guys over. It'll be great.
Buffy, earlier you agreed with me about Thanksgiving. It's a sham. It's all about death.
It is a sham but it's a sham with yams. It's a yam sham!
You're not going to jokey-rhyme your way out of this one.
I know... but I want it. It's like Professor Walsh was saying about sense memory: I smell a roasting turkey and I'm 8 years old. I liked having that to look forward to. Everything's different now.
Well, I suppose there could be slight yams.
I mean, we could definitely use a little comfort food. I bet Giles doesn't have any plans. And Xander always tries to avoid all of his family gatherings.
Oh! We could not invite Anya.
I don't know. She and Xander seem pretty tight lately. Look, pilgrims aside, isn't that the whole point of Thanksgiving-- everybody has a place to go?
Willow reluctantly nods, then smiles.
SPIKE wanders the forest, wrapped in an old blanket and looking pathetic.
RILEY, GRAHAM and FORREST in full combat gear, patrol the forest, looking for Spike.
Man, I'm beat.
We'll do one more sweep, then cash it in.
I gotta pack tonight. You got a flight?
Wednesday night. Professor Walsh wants me here for the debriefing.
That's a pretty short Thanksgiving.
Hey, with a hostile on the loose, we're lucky to be going home at all.
It's neutered. The implant works great. He can't hurt a single living thing.
As long as he knows about the Initiative, he's a threat. We do this the professor's way.
Forrest turns away and fakes a cough.
Mama's boy.
That's a nasty cough. You might need to spend the weekend in quarantine.
Oh, no. I'm done coughing.
I just don't want anyone getting sick.
Anya enters as Xander finishes dressing for work. He looks worn out.
Xander, what are you doing? You're supposed to be digging. I went to watch you digging and you weren't there doing it.
I'm going now. Just... kinda tough getting going today.
She feels his forehead.
Your head is moist. Oh! You're sick. Well, you can't go to work.
She pushes him down onto the bed.
Oh. Anya?
You're pasty and wet and disgusting. They can dig without you.
Look, I don't really feel that bad.
I inflicted a lot of putrefying diseases on men when I was an avenging demon and you look like you're getting all of them.
Okay. I'll stay. But you should go. You could catch it.
She begins to undress him.
We'll die together. It's romantic. Let me get your trousers off.
You're a strange girlfriend.
I'm a girlfriend?
There's a chance I'm delirious.
Ah, yes. Well, whatever it is that's making you sick... so far, I like it.
Professor Gerhardt talks on the phone.
It's a very exciting opportunity. I can't wait to go down there myself. It's just... well, it means we're going to have to start looking for a new location. (beat) No, it's really up to the dean. I just hope this doesn't cost us another year. (beat) Okay. Talk to you later.
She hangs up the phone just as she notices a peculiar glowing green mist wafting through the room. It flows across the museum and coalesces around an ancient Native American knife in a display case. The professor moves closer to inspect it and suddenly the mist solidifies into HUS, a Native American warrior. He grabs the knife, seizes the professor and slits her throat, dropping her dying body to the floor.
Willow and Buffy inspect the site of the professor's death.
I'll never get used to this. One day she's at the Friendship Ceremony. The next day, she's on the news. The Coroner's Office said she was missing an ear. So I'm thinking, maybe we're looking for a witch. There's some great spells that work much better with an ear in the mix.
That's one fun little hobby you've got there, Will.
Or... or maybe an ear-harvesting demon that's like building another demon completely out of ears. Or... oh! Thought. We're just assuming someone else cut off the ear. What if it was self- inflicted, like Van Gogh?
So... she brutally stabbed herself, dumped the body, then cut off her own ear?
No. She cut off her ear, then killed herself, then dumped the body. (beat; off Buffy's look) I'm really off my game, aren't I?
Yeah. Wait. Something's missing from this case. (reads inscription) "Early 1800's Chumash knife." There's a picture.
What's it look like?
Buffy is in the kitchen preparing Thanksgiving dinner while GILES hovers nearby, looking typically pained by her frenetic activity.
Pretty darn scary. It was more like a riot than a Ralph's. I thought I was going to have to use Slayer moves on this one woman who was completely hoarding the pumpkin pie filling.
And at some point, you are going to tell me about the murder?
Oh, right. The knife was some sort of Indian artifact. Chumash, I think. That's all we got.
Oh, Chumash Indians. They were indigenous to this whole area.
That's interesting.
Then, of course, the murder weapon might have just been a convenient choice.
Uh-uh. There was a big ol' scissors lying right there. That knife was picked for a reason. Do you even own a turkey pan?
Tell me again why we're not doing this at your house.
Giles, if you would like to get by in American society, then you are going to have to follow our traditions. You're the patriarch. You have to host the festivities or it's all meaningless.
And this is in no way an elaborate scheme to stick me with the cleanup?
How about that ceremonial knife, huh? Pretty juicy piece of clueage, don't you think?
Yes, all right, I'll look into the Chumash connection and see if there's any ritual significance to the ear removal.
Thank you.
Buffy pauses, lost in thought.
You all right?
Yeah... I still need to pick up a few things so I'll check in. And keep your hands off the food.
Oh, I'll try and restrain myself from eating uncooked potatoes and cranberries.
After Buffy leaves, Angel emerges from the back room.
So what do you think?
She sounds good. Kind of intense about this Thanksgiving thing.
I think perhaps she's a little lonely but I meant about the murder.
Whatever killed the woman in the museum, that's probably the danger.
Yes, well, this danger... your friend has some ominous vision about Buffy. It's all terribly vague. I mean, there are other things happening on this campus.
Well, maybe I'm wrong but I gotta try something. I can't just keep watching.
I'm glad that you're watching out for her but I feel I should remind you that she's not helpless and it's not your job to keep her safe.
It's not yours anymore, either. Are you going to walk away?
Giles concedes the point with a nod.
All right. But I feel we should tell her. I don't like keeping this secret.
No. If she knew I was here, it would distract her. It could get her hurt. I don't want to get in the way.
I'm assuming that there's some connection to the old mission. Something is angry about being disturbed.
Or maybe it was trapped there and now it's released. Something that has a fondness for ancient weapons. You know Father Gabriel?
No.
He knows the history of this place pretty well. His family dates back to mission times. He might be able to fill in some blanks.
Okay. Well, I'll see about contacting him. Where are you going?
To watch her.
It's not fair. You know that's what she'd say. You can see her but she can't see you?
Believe me, I'm not getting the good half of this deal. To be on the outside looking in at what I can't... well, I'd forgotten how bad it feels.
Willow and Buffy walk side by side, window shopping.
But you have whipped cream. I saw it in Giles' fridge.
But that's whipped cream in a canister. Look, it's only right if you whip it yourself.
Hey, and then later, we can churn our own butter and make sweaters out of sheep.
Okay. It's the last thing. I promise. Besides, I have an appointment with that priest that Giles called about. He thinks he might have some information.
Riley suddenly runs up to them, out of breath.
Buffy? Hey, Buffy.
Riley. Where'd you come from? I didn't see you at all.
Oh, just across the street... and a couple of blocks down. Hey, Willow.
Hi. Well, I'm just going to let you two... look! They're selling coffee in the coffee shop. Yum.
She bolts into the coffee shop and runs right into Angel.
Angel grabs her and covers her mouth with his hand.
Oh! Angel... evil! You're all evil again.
I'm not evil. I'm here to help Buffy.
He removes his hand and lets her go.
What's going on?
My friend had a vision. Buffy's in danger.
So tell her. Help her.
If she sees me, it'll be worse.
See, I don't get that. All this "leaving for her own good" garbage. Because that's what it is. You can't just give up because there's obstacles. What kind--
Willow.
Sorry. My stuff.
You know how I feel about her. If there was any way...
Yeah. I know.
It's just... everything's different now.
Hey, is Cordelia really working for you? 'Cause that's gotta be a special experience. Of all the people you could've hired.
Willow, I'm here to protect Buffy. I don't have a whole lot of time for personal stuff.
Right. Well, how can I help?
Well, if you can just tell me... (sees Riley) Who's that guy?
Buffy and Riley are talking.
It'll be just like it was when I was a kid. Only without me building a fort out of my mashed potatoes.
Sounds like fun.
It will be. You know, if you don't already have plans... you should come. I'm a great cook... in theory. I've eaten a lot.
That sounds so great but I'm out of here tonight. I caught a last- minute flight back to Iowa.
Iowa. That's one of the ones in the middle, right?
My folks are there. We always do Thanksgiving at my grandparents' house. A little farm outside Huxley.
Sounds nice.
It is. After dinner, we all go for a walk down by the river with the dogs. There's trees and... and I know what you're thinking. It's like I grew up in a Grant Wood painting.
Exactly. If I knew who that was.
Just a guy who painted stuff that looked like where I grew up.
Well, have fun at the homestead.
Always do. What's the line? Home's the place that, when you have to go there...
...they have to take you in.
HARMONY advances on Spike, furious.
Get out!
But baby... this is where I belong.
Out. I mean it. I've been doing a lot of reading and I'm in control of my own power now, so we're through.
Spike abruptly seizes her by the shoulders and begins to kiss her. Her resolve starts to waver.
You don't mean that.
Yes, I do. I... I do. I mean it a lot.
Spike picks her up and carries her over to the bed.
See? I knew you'd end up welcoming be back (strokes her legs) with open... arms.
He leans in to kiss her and she pushes him away.
No. I'm powerful and I'm beautiful and I don't need you to complete me.
Harmony reaches under the mattress and takes out s stake. Spike backpedals and falls off the bed.
And you're mean.
You had that in our bed? Do you know how dangerous that is?
Let's find out.
You wouldn't do it.
He backs away as she slowly advances on him, stake held high.
You did it to me, remember?
All right. All right, I'll go. Just...
What?
Can I have someone to eat?
She's had enough and brings the stake down just as Spike runs off.
Establishing.
Buffy slowly walks through the church, calling to the parish priest but getting no response.
Father Gabriel? Father Gabriel? Father? Are you out here?
As she moves out into the courtyard, she sees Hus slicing the throat of the priest who swings from a noose.
God...
Buffy charges Hus and punches him in the gut. Unfazed, he adopts a defensive stance and readies himself for combat.
You can't stop me.
You're very wrong about that.
Hus charges Buffy who throws him into walls and flips him repeatedly to the ground. No matter what she does, he recovers instantly and attacks again. He tackles Buffy to the ground and rises over her, knife in hand.
I am vengeance. I am my people's cry. They call for Hus, for the avenging spirit to carve out justice.
They tell you to start an ear collection?
She kicks high and throws him off, then rolls over, punching him, kicking his legs out from under him. Buffy wraps him up in a death grip and holds the knife to his throat.
You slaughtered my people. Now you kill their spirit. This is a great day for you.
She shoves him away and he gets up. He smiles at her as his body breaks apart and morphs into a group of bats which fly off into the night.
Buffy prepares dinner, checking the settings on the stove, while Giles peels vegetables in the sink.
It's clear we're dealing with a spirit of some kind. It's very common for Indian spirits to change to animal form.
It's plenty uncommon for me to freeze up during a fight. I mean, I had the guy. I was ready for the take-down and I stopped. And Native American.
Sorry?
We don't say "Indian."
Oh, right. Yes, yes... always behind on the terms. Still trying not to refer to you lot as "bloody Colonials".
And the thing is, I like my evil like I like my men: evil. You know, straight-up, black hat, tied to the train tracks, "soon my electro-ray will destroy Metropolis" bad. Not all mixed up with guilt and the destruction of an indigenous culture.
This spirit warrior-- Hus, you called him-- has killed innocent people.
Okay. You know what? We need to boil those and put them through the ricer.
I don't think I have a ricer.
You don't have a ricer? What do you mean? How could someone not have a ricer?
Well, do you have one at home?
I don't know. What's a ricer?
We'll mash them with forks, much like the pilgrims must have. Did you catch the part about the innocent people?
Yes. Okay? And I do want to stop him. I'd just like to find a non-Slayer way to do it.
There's a knock at the door and Buffy opens it to find Willow standing there with a huge pile of books.
Hey.
Hey.
Peas?
Peas.
Buffy takes the small boxes of peas from the top of the stack, leaving Willow to struggle with the books.
These are frozen.
What's all that?
Atrocities. I got the full poop on the Chumash Indians and our fabulous buried mission.
You said you were going to get fresh ones.
Atrocities?
Peas. They come in little pods. You were going to shell them.
I didn't have time. I was busy reading about the Chumash War.
The Chumash were peaceful.
Oh, they were peaceful, all right. They were fluffy indigenous kittens... till we came along.
They're gonna be mushy.
They won't be mushy.
I like mushy peas.
You're the reason we had to have pilgrims in the first place. So what happened to the Chumash?
How about imprisonment, forced labor, herded like animals into a mission full of bad European diseases?
Boy. Cultural Partnership Center really didn't stress any of that stuff.
Not even a diorama. And it gets better. The few Chumash who tried to rebel were hanged. And when a group was accused of stealing cattle, they were killed-- men, women, and children. And for proof to bring back to their accusers...
They cut off their ears?
So Hus wasn't kidding about the rightful vengeance routine.
He's recreating all the wrongs done to his people. And it's up to us to stop him.
Yes, but after dinner, right?
Are you sure we shouldn't be helping him?
No, I think perhaps we won't help the angry spirit with his rape and pillage and murder.
Well, okay, no, but we should be helping him redress his wrongs. Bring the atrocities to light.
If the history books are full of them, I'd say they already are.
The brewing argument starts make Buffy anxious.
Giving his land back.
It's not exactly ours to give.
I don't think you want to help. I think you just want to slay the demon, then go la la la.
And I think your sympathy for his plight has blinded you to certain urgent facts. We have to stop this thing.
Okay, Unfeeling Guy.
Willow, that's not fair.
Buffy bolts to the kitchen.
I have to baste.
Willow, I... (sotto) I have reason to believe Buffy herself may be in particular danger from this menace.
You mean Angel? I saw him, too.
That's not terribly stealthy of him.
I think he's lost his edge.
But Buffy doesn't know.
Oh, no. Not a peep.
Well, that's good, but this is why I think we should all keep a level head in this.
And I happen to think mine is the level head and yours is the one things would roll off of.
Another knock at the door. Giles opens it to find Anya and Xander.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Xander. You look like death.
Are you okay?
You didn't bring rolls?
Anya walks Xander to the couch where she tends to him.
The doctor couldn't figure out was up with me. He said I had a lot of symptoms that didn't connect.
I think they do connect.
What? To this Chumash spirit-vengeance guy?
Didn't you say the Chumash got all diseased when they were holed up in the mission?
Yeah. This has a better account of everything. It lists the various--
Various? As in--
Well, the important thing is not to panic.
You just recited the mystical panic-causing incantation, so little hope there. Let's talk about the various.
Well, they did suffer from malaria, some smallpox...
I was going to say smallpox.
You know, syphilis, but basically--
Syphilis?
Well, but this is probably mystical and it'll all go away as soon as--
As soon as what?
We still don't know what we're going to do. Well, maybe I can find something. Let's give him some land.
I'm sure that'll clear everything right up.
Sarcasm accomplishes nothing, Giles.
It's sort of an end in itself.
Can we come rocketing back to the part about me and my new syphilis?
Anya strokes his forehead soothingly.
It'll make you blind and insane but it won't kill you. The smallpox will.
Maybe there's a Wiccan spell that can cure it. Something regular medicine doesn't know. Oh, there was a potion.
She flips through a book and takes out a piece of paper and begins reading from it.
Sage, salt... onion?
That's the stuffing.
Oh, god.
You're going to get vesicles and pustules. (re: book) They have pictures.
I hate this guy.
He's just doing what was done to him.
I didn't give him syphilis.
No, but you freed his spirit and after a century of unrest, he saw you as one of his oppressors.
What? So he rises up and infects the first guy he sees? That's no fair.
Like you've never woken up cranky?
But why the others? Why them particularly?
So we take this guy out. Buffy, it is for to be slaying sometime soon, yeah?
That's sort of the question before the court.
Question?
There are two sides to it.
Slaying him? The representative from syphilis votes "yea".
It's not that simple.
He's a vengeance demon. You don't talk to vengeance demons. You kill them.
Anya jerks back from him.
I didn't know you felt that way.
What?
Anyway, he's a spirit, not a demon.
Yes, and we've never faced this sort of spirit before. We really don't know what will kill it.
Again with the killing.
Figuratively speaking. Or bind it or whatever. Yes, Willow, we all appreciate your perspective.
Sometimes vengeance is justified.
You know that I didn't mean you.
I don't think anyone appreciates the truth of the situation.
Oh, I think we do.
Agitated by the arguing among her friends, Buffy stands up abruptly with her mixing bowl.
This is no good! It needs more condensed milk.
She flees back into the kitchen.
Buffy, Xander's in real danger. Are you sure the solution is pie?
Over bickering and confusion, I'll take pie. We will find a solution. And we will have a nice dinner, okay? Both. End of story. I'm having Thanksgiving and it'll be perfect.
Hus won't stop. Vengeance is never sated, Buffy. Hatred is a cycle. All he will do is kill.
Yet another knock at the door. Buffy goes to answer it and stunned to find Spike cowering beneath a blanket. Smoke rises from him in waves as his skin is seared by the indirect sunlight.
Help me.
Buffy shoves him backward into the sunlight and he goes tumbling to the ground.
Ow! What part of 'help me' do you not understand?
The part where I help you.
Come on, I'm charbroiling out here.
Giles comes to the door and hands Buffy a stake.
Want me to help make it quicker?
Invite me in.
No. It's fairly unlikely.
Oh, damn it! Look, I'm safe. I can't bite anyone. Willow, tell 'em what I did.
You said you were going to kill me, then Buffy.
Yes, bad, but let's skip that part and get to the part where I couldn't bite you.
It's true. He had trouble performing.
Yeah, well, it looks like they've done me for good.
What are you saying?
I'm saying that Spike had a little trip to the vet and now he doesn't chase the other puppies anymore. I can't bite anything. I can't even hit people.
So you haven't murdered anybody lately? Let's be best pals.
I've got information... about the soldier boys you were fighting. Got the inside scoop. Come on, what have you got to be afraid of?
Buffy slowly relaxes.
Hus sits before a fire, eyes closed, performing a Native American ritual.
First people who dwell in Mishupashup, hear me and descend. Walk with me upon Itiashup again. Hear me also, Nunashush. Spirits from below... creatures of the night... take human form and join the battle. Bring me my revenge.
A cloud of green mist rises from the fire. It splits into a dozen distinct segments and each segment coalesces into an Indian warrior. Hus sits surrounded by the warrior spirits of his people, come to life to seek vengeance.
Buffy binds Spike to a chair in Giles' living room.
Bloody hell, woman. You're cuttin' off my circulation.
You don't have any circulation.
Well, it pinches.
Get used to it. I have more important things to worry about.
I came to you in friendship. (off Buffy's look) Well, all right, seething hatred... but I've got useful information and I feel I'm being mistreated.
So tell me everything you know.
I'm too hungry to remember everything.
Then sit.
Anya has taken over cooking duties and is stirring the pots simmering on the stove.
How much butter goes in with these?
About half a stick and a quarter cup of brandy. (to Giles) You do have brandy, don't you?
What? Oh, yes. On the bookcase.
I wouldn't say no to a brandy.
Buffy ignores Spike and turns to Giles.
What's wrong?
The victims. Apart from Xander, Hus has targeted authority figures. Father Gabriel, the curator of the Cultural Center... who else fits this pattern?
Just a small brandy.
The dean. Dean Guerrero. He's the king of us and he was at the ceremony.
Likely candidate. We should warn him.
Will, anything in those books about how to stop a Native American spirit guy? Some nice, non-judgmental way to, you know, kill him?
I'm not going to help you kill him. I'm not on board.
What choice do we have?
Buffy, this isn't a western. We're not at Fort Giles with the cavalry coming to save us. It's one lonely guy. Oppressed Warrior Guy who's just trying to--
Kill a lot of people?
I didn't say he was right.
Will, you know how bad I feel about this. It's eating me up. (to Anya) One-quarter cup of brandy and let it simmer. (to Willow) But even though it's hard, we have to end this. Yes, he's been wronged and I personally would be ready to apologize--
Oh, someone put a stake in me.
You got a lot of volunteers in here.
I just can't take all this mamby-pamby boo-hooing about the bloody Indians.
The preferred term--
You won. All right? You came in and you killed them and you took their land. That's what conquering nations do. It's what Cūsar did and he's not going around saying, "I came, I conquered, I felt really bad about it." The history of the world isn't people making friends. You had better weapons and you massacred them. End of story.
Well, I think the Spaniards actually did a lot of-- not that I don't like Spaniards.
Listen to you. How are you going to fight anyone with that attitude?
We don't want to fight anyone.
I just want to have Thanksgiving.
Yeah... good luck.
If we could talk to him--
You exterminated his race. What could you possibly say that would make him feel better? It's kill or be killed here. Take your bloody pick.
Maybe it's the syphilis talking but... some of that made sense.
I made these points earlier but fine, no one listens to me.
Fine, okay? But someone still has to go warn the dean.
I'll go. I need the air.
Not alone.
I'll go.
Me, too.
Sure you're up to it?
Oh, leave that one. He looks like he's ready to drop any minute and I think I can eat someone if he's already dead.
Xander struggles to his feet.
I'm up to it.
I'll keep on looking for a solution.
Yeah. Guys, the dean's house is up past the gym. And hurry-- dinner's in an hour!
Hey, when do I get fed?
Later. I hope the others are okay.
You know what happens to vampires who don't get to feed?
I always wondered that. Giles, plates.
Living skeletons, mate. Like famine pictures from those dusty countries, only not half as funny.
You can have gravy. That has blood in it, right?
Do you know what else has blood in it? Blood.
Do I have to gag you? Because I am not going to listen to you whine all the way through my dinner. It's going to be a nice, quiet, civilized--
Suddenly an arrow pierces the decorative scarecrow on the table. Buffy's head snaps up and she sees Hus in the window with a long bow.
You. Listen, maybe I wasn't clear before about how terrible we all feel. 'Cause we're trying to help.
What's going on?
It isn't working.
You can have casinos now.
Get down!
Giles and Buffy crouch behind the table as arrows rain through the window.
What about me? You going to leave me here like this?
An arrow buries itself in Spike's chest. He looks down at it, angry.
Hey! Watch the heart!
Willow, Anya and Xander leave the dean's house, looking terribly chastened.
Well, that was a waste of time.
I think he thought we were crazy.
Maybe if Anya hadn't opened the conversation with, "Everybody got both ears?"
I liked his wife. She gave me pie.
So what do we do now?
We could stay here and stand watch or I just don't--
He breaks off in shock as Angel suddenly appears in front of them from behind a copse of trees.
Willow.
Angel?
So this is Angel. He's large and glowery, isn't he?
He's evil again.
I'm not evil again. Why does everyone think that?
Angel's here to protect Buffy.
I haven't been evil for a long time.
She's not supposed to know he's here. Angel, do you have something new?
Yeah. All the Chumash weapons are missing from the Cultural Center. Something's up. Where's Buffy?
Still at Giles'. She sent us to check on Dean Guerrero.
Why the dean?
We think he's going after someone in charge. A leader?
He's a warrior. To a warrior, the leader means the strongest fighter.
Buffy!
He's formed a raiding party.
We gotta get over there.
I'll call her. You get back fast.
He bends over and snaps the chain lock on a nearby bicycle for Willow.
The phone rings and Giles picks it up.
Hello? Yes... yes, we're well aware of that. We're under siege now, actually. Thank you.
Who was that?
Someone. We need a plan.
Yes, let's talk about it some more. Where's your weapons chest?
Giles points at a heavy trunk across the room.
Over there.
Buffy scuttles over to the chest and is immediately shot in the arm by an arrow. She yelps in pain and falls to the floor.
Buffy!
Spike is now riddled with arrows. He looks like a human pincushion.
Remember that conquering nation thing? Forget it. Apologize.
Shut up, Spike.
Fine, I'll do it myself. Hey, sorry. Sorry about that, chief.
How many?
The leader upstairs. Two by the living room windows, one through the window by the door.
It's too many. We need help.
Okay, one... two... three. Ow! Bloody hell! Oh!
Giles, these guys... they don't die.
She turns to find Giles struggling with a warrior who has him by the neck.
Bit busy over here.
Spike topples sideways in his chair.
Hey!
Angel, Willow, Anya and Xander run into the courtyard and are immediately set upon by the Indian warriors. Willow picks up a shovel and whacks one of the spirit warriors in the head with it, to no effect. She keeps hitting him, punctuating her words with each blow.
Why... don't... you... die?
Angel seizes the other Indian by the head and snaps his neck with one fluid and incredibly violent twist. Anya stares at him, shocked.
What's he like when he's evil?
Angel struggles as he's seized from behind by the Indian he just killed.
Help the others!
Buffy fights with Hus. She knocks his ceremonial dagger from his hand and picks it up, slicing him across the forearm. Blood wells up from the wound and Buffy suddenly understands.
Your knife can kill you.
Suddenly, to Buffy's shocked surprise, Hus transforms into a huge Kodiak grizzly bear.
A bear!
You made a bear!
I didn't mean to.
Undo it! Undo it!
Xander rushes in, sees the bear and starts throwing food at it.
Hey, Gentle Ben, over here. That's for giving me syphilis.
While the bear is distracted by Xander, Buffy charges it and stabs it in the back. The bear rounds on her with a mighty roar, then topples over, dead. As Hus dies, the other spirit warriors vanish into mist as well.
What happened? Did we win?
Later. Everyone is gathered around the table eating Thanksgiving dinner.
I feel lousy.
Turkey came out rather splendidly.
Oh, it was yummy.
It's just... did you see me? Two seconds of conflict with an indigenous person and I turned into General Custer.
Violence does that. Instinct takes over.
Yeah, that's the fun.
Nobody asked you.
Oh, lay off. You all had a fine meal.
But me... an entire siege.
You'd think one of you would bleed a little.
Good work, Buffy... on both counts.
Thanks.
Well, you know, you should be very pleased.
Wasn't exactly a perfect Thanksgiving.
I don't know. Seemed kinda right to me. A bunch of anticipation, a big fight and now we're all sleepy. And we did all survive.
I guess that much is true.
First Thanksgiving on my own and we all got through it.
And you know what? I think my syphilis is clearing right up.
And they say romance is dead. Or maybe they just wish it.
Well, maybe we started a new tradition this year. (off everyone's look) Maybe not. But at least we all worked together. It was like old times.
Yeah, especially with Angel being here and everything.
Dead silence as everyone freezes at the mention of Angel and turns to Buffy for her reaction.