Doomed

[Transcript of "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" episode Doomed at buffyology.com.]

Prologue

INT. UC SUNNYDALE-- STEVENSON HALL-- BUFFY'S ROOM-- DAY

BUFFY and RILEY sit silently across from each other, looking mainly at the floor, only throwing occasional glances at each other.

BUFFY

Somebody should speak before one of us graduates.

RILEY

(beat)
What are you?

BUFFY

(sarcastic)
Capricorn on the cusp of Aquarius. You?

RILEY

Sorry. That came out a little blunter than I intended. It's just... you are amazing! Your speed, your strength.

BUFFY

Also passionate, artistic and inquisitive. Who are you?

RILEY

You know who I am. The rest... what I do... I can't tell you.

BUFFY

Well, then let me. You're part of some military monster squad that captures demons, vampires... probably have some official sounding euphemisms for them, like unfriendlies or non-sapiens.

RILEY

Hostile sub-terrestrials.

BUFFY

So you deliver these HST's to a bunch of lab coats who perform experiments on them which, among other things, turn some into harmless little bunnies. How am I doing so far?

RILEY

(shocked)
A little too well.

BUFFY

Meanwhile, by day you pretend to be Riley Finn, corn-fed Iowa boy. Ever been to Iowa, Riley? God, if that's even your name.

RILEY

It is, born and raised. And hey, bulletin: I'm not the only one who's been a little less than honest here.

BUFFY

I thought a professional demon chaser like yourself would have figured it out by now. I'm the Slayer.

Riley stares at her, confused.

BUFFY

Slayer? Chosen One? She who hangs out a lot in cemeteries? You're kidding? Ask around, look it up. Slayer comma the.

RILEY

And you fight demons? I mean, you whaled on those guys.

BUFFY

You did pretty well yourself.

RILEY

But I'm a walking bruise today. You see me with my clothes off, I look like... (off Buffy's look) I mean, I have bruises. I don't see a scratch on you.

BUFFY

You're not looking hard enough.

RILEY

I'm looking pretty hard.

Buffy takes a deep breath as both of them look away.

RILEY

So then... what do we do?

BUFFY

I don't know. I just... I really thought that you were a nice normal guy.

RILEY

I am a nice normal guy.

BUFFY

Maybe by this town's standards but I'm not grading on a curve. I think we both need a little time to process everything. Maybe then...

RILEY

Yeah. Yeah, I think that's a good idea.

They look hard at each other for a long beat then Riley turns to leave. He suddenly turns back.

RILEY

Oh, I don't think I need to tell you...

BUFFY

I won't say a word.

RILEY

Good. It'll be safer for all...

He trails off and looks over as Amy-Rat begins squealing madly in her cage. Suddenly the whole room begins to shake. Books fly off the shelves around them. Riley points at the open closet door.

RILEY

Over here.

They hurry and stand in the doorframe until the earth stops shaking.

RILEY

Wow. That was some ride. Sorry I'm so excited. This is my first earthquake.

Buffy has gone deathly pale.

BUFFY

It's not mine.

Opening credit sequence.

ACT I

INT. HARRIS HOME-- BASEMENT-- NIGHT

SPIKE pulls the big red leather chair across the basement, out of the way of the water leaking from a pipe in the ceiling.

SPIKE

Sodding sleeping chair is bloody sodden.

XANDER sets a pan underneath to catch the water.

XANDER

The quake just knocked a couple of pipes loose. There's a wrench hanging up over there by the workbench. Try tightening the coupling.

SPIKE

Do I look like a plumber to you?

XANDER

No, you look like a big mooch that doesn't lift a finger around here. But I have to get to work.

SPIKE

Yeah, delivering melted cheese on bread. Doing your part to keep America constipated.

XANDER

Mock not. Remember who pays for the plasma around here, pal. (hands a wrench to Spike) You earn your keep or you don't get kept. When you're done fixing that leak try cleaning up this mess.

Xander turns his back on Spike and the vampire raises the wrench at Xander but buckles under the intense crippling pain in his head.

XANDER

And doing a little laundry for once wouldn't kill you... unfortunately.
CUT TO:

INT. UC SUNNYDALE-- STEVENSON HALL-- BUFFY'S ROOM-- DAY

Buffy gets ready to leave just as WILLOW walks in.

WILLOW

Hey! I was in the library during the quake, almost got buried under some 19th Century literature. And I don't have to tell you how hard it is to dig through some of that stuff. You okay?

BUFFY

Yeah. A couple of broken knick-knacks but no biggies.

WILLOW

Well, Porter dorm is completely blacked out. So naturally they are dealing with the crisis the only way they know how: Aftershock Party.

BUFFY

Ah, this from the dorm that brought us the Somebody Sneezed party and the Day That Ends in Y party.

WILLOW

They do seem to be pretty generous with the milestones. Hey, you should ask Riley to come! Much carousing by flattering candlelight.

BUFFY

Riley is... busy. I'm pretty sure. But you know, you go on ahead and I'll catch up with you there. I'm on my way for a little Giles one-on-one.

WILLOW

Anything wrong?

BUFFY

Wrong? No, not at all.
CUT TO:

EXT. GILES' APARTMENT-- COURTYARD-- DAY

GILES sits at the table in his courtyard, enjoying the morning sunlight while Buffy paces nervously around him.

BUFFY

Something horrible is going to happen, Giles.

GILES

It was an earthquake, Buffy. A not uncommon occurrence in southern California. No reason to think it was anything more.

BUFFY

Oh, I so have a reason. A darned good reason. The last time we had an earthquake, I died.

GILES

Yes, I know that and therefore I completely understand your anxiety.

BUFFY

Oh, good. Because I'd hate for my little untimely horrible death concern to be ambiguous.

GILES

But unless evidence suggests otherwise, I think that we can assume that it's shifting landmasses and not a portent of some imminent doom.

He points to a map of Sunnydale on the table. Red push-pins mark specific locations around town.

GILES

Now in the meantime, I've got a few theories about our mysterious commando friends.

BUFFY

(nonchalant)
Oh. Really?

GILES

Now based on the locations of our various sightings and Spike's reluctant description of their underground installation--

Buffy bolts out of her seat.

BUFFY

What if the quake was a sign? A bad omen and we just ignore it? There are going to be a lot of red faces when the world comes to an end.

GILES

(exasperated)
Buffy, if the quake heralds some such catastrophe, I'm sure there will be other signs to follow, which will afford us plenty of time to avert it. Now, I believe that the commando installation is either very close to, or directly underneath, your school. Now if that is the case, I'm convinced that one or more of them may be in your very midst.

BUFFY

Plague!

GILES

What?

BUFFY

What if the end of the world is coming in the form of a plague? Then too many people may be infected by the time we actually--

GILES

Buffy! Will you stop worrying about what may be and concentrate on what is!

Buffy opens her mouth to respond but Giles stops her with a gesture.

GILES

Vigilance is all very good but as we are getting close there is a much more pressing question.
CUT TO:

INT. THE INITIATIVE-- CORRIDOR-- DAY

Riley and FORREST move through the corridors dressed in battle fatigues.

RILEY

What's a Slayer?

FORREST

Slayer? Thrash band. Anvil-handed guitar band with delusions of Black Sabbath.

RILEY

No. A girl with powers.

FORREST

Oh. The Slayer. Oh, yeah, I've heard of the Slayer.

RILEY

Fill me in.

FORREST

Well, the way I got it figured, the Slayer is like some kind of boogey man for the subterrestrials... something they tell their little spawn to make them eat their vegetables and clean up their slime pits.

RILEY

You're telling me she doesn't exist.

FORREST

Oh, wait a sec. Am I bursting somebody's bubble here? Maybe this is a bad time to tell you about the Easter Bunny? (laughs) Sorry, it's a myth, Ry. All part of that medieval folklore garbage kooks dream up to explain things we deal with every day.

They pass a couple of technicians leading a shackled demon down the corridor in the other direction.

RILEY

How do you explain the things we deal with, Forrest?

FORREST

They're just animals, man, plain and simple. Granted they're a little rarer than the one's you grew up with on that little farm in Smallville...

A commotion erupts behind them. The demon breaks loose and Forrest and Riley rush to help subdue it. The demon backhands Riley sending him thudding into the wall and seizes Forrest in a headlock.

FORREST

(gasping; to tech)
Where is that hypo?

The technician fumbles with the syringe, trying to fill it. In the meantime, Riley picks up the unconscious guard's baton and quickly dispatches the demon, while Forrest sucks in huge gulps of air.

RILEY

(to tech; re: hypo)
Never mind.

FORREST

Like I said. Animals.

A loud crashing and banging sounds from somewhere deep in the facility.

FORREST

What's that racket?

RILEY

Animals rattling their cages. Doing it all day. Wonder what's got them all worked up?

FORREST

Earthquakes, man. Make everybody crazy.
CUT TO:

INT. PORTER DORM-- PARTY-- NIGHT

Willow stands in the middle of all the hubbub and revelry looking small and lost. Without Oz at her side, she has reverted back to the shy, awkward Willow of the past. She spots PERCY WEST talking to a girl sitting on a sofa and walks over to him.

WILLOW

Percy! Hi!

PERCY

Hey, Willow! What's going on?

WILLOW

(shrugs)
Stuff. I thought you got that football scholarship to USC.

PERCY

I did. (re: girl) Laurie goes here.

LAURIE looks Willow over, suspicious of her apparently close relationship with Percy.

LAURIE

(cool)
Hey.

WILLOW

Hi. Some party, huh?

Laurie gives her a fake smile.

LAURIE

It's okay.

PERCY

How's Oz?

WILLOW

Oh, actually, Oz is...

Laurie gets up and links her arm in Percy's and whispers into his ear. He shrugs and looks over at Willow.

PERCY

Listen, we're going to get some drinks. Cool to see you.

LAURIE

Bye.

WILLOW

(dejected)
Yeah, catch you later.

A topless guy trailing two girls whoops and makes his way across the room and through a back door. As the door swings shut behind them, we see the green, clawed fingers of a demon gripping the edge of the doorframe.

CUT TO:

INT. PORTER DORM-- BACK ROOM-- NIGHT

The shirtless PARTY GUY fixes four drinks and hums to himself. He yells over to the next room.

PARTY GUY

Hey, you guys serious about naked limbo? I'm in.

He picks up the four drinks and turns around to find a ferocious green-scaled demon standing behind him. With a roar, the creature rakes its claws across the hapless young man's throat.

CU on the drinks as they smash to the floor amid a growing pool of crimson blood.

FADE OUT

ACT II

INT. PORTER DORM-- PARTY-- NIGHT

Willow still looks awkward and bored as people whoop and cheer around her.

WILLOW

(to herself)
Buffy, where are you?

She stands off to the side of the room and overhears Percy and Laurie arguing around the corner.

LAURIE

(o.s.)
Why? So I can watch you flirt with that redhead?

PERCY

(o.s.)
What? Rosenberg? Yeah, right. She's just some egghead who tutored me a little in high school. I mean, she's nice but come on... captain of the Nerd Squad.

Willow steps around the corner behind Percy and Laurie who sit with their backs to her.

LAURIE

Well, I don't know. Maybe you have a thing for geeks.

PERCY

No, I like my women hot. (shrugs) Call me old-fashioned.

Laurie smiles at him and they kiss as Willow walks away, wounded.

CUT TO:

INT. PORTER DORM-- BACK ROOM-- NIGHT

Willow opens the door to the room. It's cloaked in shadows.

WILLOW

Hello? Anyone in here?

She closes the door behind her and feels her way to the bed. She lies down on it and, after a moment, flips on the bedside light, then turns her head to the side to find she is lying next to the dead party guy.

She jumps off the bed panting with fear and stares at his slashed throat and a runic symbol carved into his chest: a pyramid topped with an all-seeing eye.

CUT TO:

INT. HARRIS HOME-- BASEMENT-- NIGHT

Xander trudges down the stairs carrying a pizza box.

XANDER

Oh, no! Spike, the place is worse than when I left! You didn't even fix the drip!

SPIKE

Don't turn around.

XANDER

Spike, what is it, what happened?

SPIKE

Don't look at me.

Xander turns around anyway and his face registers mock horror, then bemused glee when he finds Spike wearing a pair of knee-length shorts and a gaudy Hawaiian shirt. Unable to control himself, Xander starts to laugh himself silly. Spike holds up his own clothes.

SPIKE

I shrunk them. Bleeding shirt, trousers. (beat) I hate this place.

XANDER

You know, I'm not any happier about you wearing my stuff than you are.

SPIKE

Go out, get me some decent stuff and I want more blood.

XANDER

No! You're not a guest.

SPIKE

You want me to tear this place apart, you bloody poof?

XANDER

That's it! I am way past due with you. I hate to break it to you, oh impotent one, but you're not the Big Bad anymore. You're not even the Kind of Naughty. You're nothing but a waste of space-- my space! And as much as I always got a big laugh watching Buffy kick your shiny white bum-- as much as I know I can give you a little bum-kicking myself right now-- I'm here to tell you something. (beat) You're not even worth it. I'm out of here.

Xander bolts up the stairs leaving Spike feeling pathetic.

CUT TO:

INT. PORTER DORM-- VESTIBULE-- NIGHT

The dead guy is wheeled away in a body bag by EMTs as Buffy enters. Willow sees her and waves her over. They sit on the stairs together.

WILLOW

Buffy! Over here.

BUFFY

Wow. I wasn't sure where the party was and then I saw the flashing lights and the ambulance and I was like, "Right. Of course! Death, carnage-- it's a Buffy party!"

WILLOW

I'm so glad you're here.

BUFFY

What happened?

WILLOW

I found him-- this guy-- on the bed with me. Dead. Not me dead, he dead.

BUFFY

God. Are you okay? (Willow nods; sotto) Vampire?

Willow shakes her head.

WILLOW

There was so much blood and there was a symbol and Percy said I was a nerd!

BUFFY

Percy called you a nerd?

WILLOW

(nods)
I guess we should report to Giles, get with the demon tracking.

They get up and head for the exit.

BUFFY

(re: Percy)
Does he even go here?
CUT TO:

INT. LOWELL HOUSE-- RILEY'S ROOM-- NIGHT

Riley and Forrest play a game of Nerf Basketball. Riley shoots the foam ball at the hoop mounted on the door frame and misses.

FORREST

Okay, that makes 0 for a billion. You don't got game, son. What's going on in that head of yours?

RILEY

I'm just trying to make up my mind about something. Buffy... she's pretty cool, isn't she?

FORREST

(sighs)
Yes already. She's cool, she's hot, she is tepid, she's all- temperature Buffy. Now can we concentrate on the game here?

Forrest shoots just as the door opens and GRAHAM MILLER walks in. The ball hits him on the head.

FORREST

Good block. You should use your face more often.

GRAHAM

We have an Alpha Code Blue situation.

Riley and Forrest are suddenly all business.

RILEY

One of ours?

GRAHAM

Negative. Civilian at the Porter Hall party.

FORREST

HST attack?

GRAHAM

Cannot confirm that. I couldn't get close without drawing attention to myself.

FORREST

Should we mobilize?

RILEY

No, I'll go, do a little recon, see if it falls in our domain. You alert Professor Walsh. Tell her we have a casualty of an indeterminate nature. Lets not make a move until we get the whole story.
CUT TO:

INT. GILES' APARTMENT-- NIGHT

The gang gathers as usual at Giles' place for the debriefing.

WILLOW

It just made me feel like I was right back in high school.

XANDER

Dumb jock! If it wasn't for you he still would be.

WILLOW

I mean, I know the Percy thing isn't really important, it's the dead guy on the bed.

XANDER

Yeah, that's bad, too.

WILLOW

Oh, and something else. He-- the dead guy-- was propped up, like whatever killed him wanted to drain the blood out of him. So I'm thinking the whatever took a bunch of the guy's blood with it. And I haven't been a nerd for a very long time! Hello? Dating a guitarist... or I was.

BUFFY

Tell me about this symbol.

Willow takes out a napkin and unfolds it. She draws the pyramid and eye on it.

WILLOW

Right. It was carved into his chest, like a big creepy eye.

Xander looks at her drawing and has an idea.

XANDER

It's kind of like the CBS logo. Hey, could this be the handiwork of one Mr. Morley Safer?

BUFFY

I'm telling you, I've seen this somewhere before, I just can't remember where! I mean, it's like--

GILES

It's the end of the world.

BUFFY, WILLOW, XANDER

(simultaneous)

Again?

GILES

It's the earthquake, that symbol... yes.

BUFFY

I told you. I said "end of the world" and you're like "poo-poo, Southern California, poo-poo".

GILES

I'm so very sorry. My contrition completely dwarfs the impending apocalypse.

WILLOW

No, it can't be. We've done this already.

GILES

It's the end of the world. Everyone dies. It's rather important, really.

WILLOW

So what do we do?

Buffy hefts her crossbow.

BUFFY

I stop it.

CU on the pyramid symbol on the napkin as we

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. SUNNYDALE CEMETERY-- NIGHT

CU on the same symbol carved into the stone of a large mausoleum. Buffy stares at it with mild surprise.

BUFFY

"I wonder where I've seen this before?" Where else? The place I spend most of my waking hours memorizing stuff on the sides of mausoleums, big freaky cereal boxes of death.

The sound of stone on stone scrapes from inside the crypt.

CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE CEMETERY-- MAUSOLEUM-- NIGHT

The green-scaled demon from the Porter Hall party removes the bones of a child from the crypt and stuffs them into a burlap sack.

Buffy enters and raises the crossbow.

BUFFY

Door was open.

As the demon turns and roars at her, she shoots it in the shoulder with the crossbow, then throws the crossbow at it. It bats the crossbow aside and charges her. The two of them engage, a flurry of kicks and blows that drives them outside of the mausoleum.

CUT TO:

EXT. SUNNYDALE CEMETERY-- NIGHT

The demon picks Buffy up and slams her down on top of a grave marker. Buffy lies on the ground, stunned and groaning for a moment but when a shadow falls over her, she flips back to her feet, turns and hauls back with a hard right at Riley who just manages to block it.

RILEY

Wow, that flippy-thing you did...

Buffy looks around.

BUFFY

Where did it go?

RILEY

I saw it take off toward the woods.

BUFFY

And you didn't follow it?

RILEY

No weapons, no backup... you don't go after a demon that size by yourself.

BUFFY

I do.

Riley takes out a handheld radio.

RILEY

Yeah, well, I'm no Slayer. (into radio) Base One, this is Lilac One.

BUFFY

Lilac?

Riley holds up a hand to shush her.

RILEY

(into radio)
Confirmed sighting of an unidentified sub-t. Mobilize patrol team for debriefing at 0800 hours.

RADIO

Copy that.

BUFFY

Very commandory, lilac notwithstanding.

Riley laughs and puts the radio away.

BUFFY

What are you doing here?

RILEY

Looking for you. (off her look) "She who hangs out in cemeteries"?

Buffy frowns and turns away.

BUFFY

I have to get the demon.

RILEY

Don't sweat it. We'll bag it.

BUFFY

It's not that simple.

RILEY

Yeah, but I really think--

BUFFY

Riley, I just... can't.

RILEY

Can't talk?

BUFFY

Can't any of it. I can't be with you. It's just a huge black pit of a mistake and I can't go there again.

RILEY

Again? You've dated me before?

BUFFY

No! Look I was involved... (sighs) You don't know what my life is like.

RILEY

But I'm dying to find out.

BUFFY

Dying being the operative word here. Okay, there is too much risk. There is too much... it's just doomed! And I can't do doomed again right now. Sorry.

RILEY

I don't understand where this is coming from. I know you like me. And it's not like we don't have anything in common.

BUFFY

But that's not enough.

RILEY

Buffy, I'm thrown by this, I'm confused... but I can feel my skin humming, my hands, my every inch of me. I've never been this excited about anybody before. I'm not trying to scare you and I'm not going to force myself on you but I'm by god not going to walk away because I think it might not work. I don't know what's happened in your past--

BUFFY

Pain, death, apocalypse. None of it fun. Do you know what a Hellmouth is? Do you have a fancy term for it? Because I went to high school on it, for three years. (shakes her head) We do not have that much in common. This is a job to you.

RILEY

It's not just a job.

BUFFY

It's an adventure, great. But for me, it's destiny. It is something that I can't change, something that I can't escape. I'm stuck!

RILEY

You don't have to be. You're not in high school anymore. You can change things.

BUFFY

Riley, no.

RILEY

I know it may seem--

BUFFY

Riley! My answer is no.

She turns and walks away and he watches her go before turning and leaving himself.

CUT TO:

INT. GILES' APARTMENT-- NIGHT

The gang is in full research-mode. Books are open and cover all available table space.

GILES

A Vahrall demon.

Giles shows Willow a picture in his book.

WILLOW

Eeew!

XANDER

I second that revulsion.

GILES

Yes. 'Slick like gold and gird in moonlight, father of portents and brother to blight'.

Buffy reads over his shoulder.

BUFFY

'Limbs with talons, eyes like knives, bane to the blameless, thief of lives.'
CUT TO:

EXT. SUNNYDALE CEMETERY-- NIGHT

Riley debriefs his patrol team. The contrast between the old-world approach of Buffy's group and the hi-tech methods of the Initiative is striking.

RILEY

Three meters tall, approximately 100 to 120 kilograms, based on my visual analysis.

GRAHAM

Special hazards?

RILEY

Unknown. Probably nothing we haven't handled before. There is no pattern we can discern yet so we've got to assume that it is on a basic kill-crush-destroy.
CUT TO:

INT. GILES' APARTMENT-- NIGHT

Buffy paces back and forth, puzzling it out.

BUFFY

This thing isn't digging up the bones of a child for fun.

XANDER

Well, a demon's got some pretty hilarious ideas about fun.

WILLOW

Bones of a child, though. I saw that! (flips pages) An ancient ritual uses the blood of a man, the bones of a child and something called the Word of Valios? It's all part of the sacrifice-- the Sacrifice of Three.

BUFFY

Let me guess-- ends the world?

WILLOW

Well, yeah. It's not big with the details, though. It doesn't say how the world ends or what the ritual entails exactly.

XANDER

The Sacrifice of Three... three people are going to die?

BUFFY

No, they won't. Because Claw Boy is not getting all of his ingredients. We have to find that third one, the Word of Valios, keep him from getting it.

WILLOW

If he doesn't already have it. I mean, who knows where he's been?
CUT TO:

EXT. SUNNYDALE CEMETERY-- NIGHT

Riley's team advances through the treeline, tracking the demon with a handheld device.

RILEY

Here is one for the good guys: this thing has a pheromone signature a mile wide. Agent Gates has been working with the detection system the lab's developing.

Forrest adjusts the device and deciphers the readings.

FORREST

Can't tell where it's going but I've got a bead on where it's been. Residual traces showing up in populated areas. The thing's not shy.

RILEY

We're going out in civvies, day clothes only guys. Weapons stowed in packs, keep 'em out of sight until nightfall. Remember this isn't a capture, it's a kill.

FORREST

(to assembled soldiers)
Get your quadrant assignment from me. We'll blanket the town.
CUT TO:

INT. GILES' APARTMENT-- NIGHT

Buffy puts on her coat.

BUFFY

I'll check the Magick Shop, see if they've heard of a book called the Word of Valios. Willow, Xander... how about the book archives at the museum?

XANDER

We'll stop at my place on the way, get some weapons, and I'll change into something that isn't quite as anchovy-scented.

BUFFY

You guys... this thing takes wicked very seriously. Be careful. I couldn't stand anybody getting hurt.
CUT TO:

INT. HARRIS HOME-- BASEMENT-- NIGHT

CU on a stake clamped to the edge of a table, pointed upward. Pan up to reveal Spike standing on a chair above the stake, arms spread wide.

SPIKE

Good bye, Dru. See you in hell.

He lets himself fall forward just as Willow and Xander enter. Distracted, he turns in the air to look at them and misses the stake, smashing the table.

WILLOW

What are you doing?

Spike picks himself up and dusts himself off.

SPIKE

Bloody rot. Can't a person knock?

WILLOW

What were you doing?

XANDER

You were trying to stake yourself!

SPIKE

Fag off! It's no concern of yours.

XANDER

Is too. For one thing, that's my shirt you're about to dust. For another, we've shared a lot here. You should have trusted me enough to do it for you.

WILLOW

Xander!

XANDER

What? He wants to die, I want to help.

WILLOW

It's ooky. We know him. We can't just let him poof himself!

SPIKE

Oh, but you can. You know I'd drain you drier than the Sahara if I had half a chance. And besides, I'm beyond pathetic. Stuck in this basement washing skivvies for a blighter I wouldn't have bothered to bite a few months ago.

XANDER

Hey!

SPIKE

I mean, am I even remotely scary anymore? Tell me the truth.

Willow just looks at him blandly as he jumps at her, curling his hands into claws.

WILLOW

Well, the shirt is kinda not very threatening and the short pants, but you know it could also be because I know you can't bite, which I guess isn't really what you need to hear right now, is it?

SPIKE

Stop, please, just clear out.

XANDER

Fine. But you break anything else while we're gone and you'll be sleeping in the garage, buster.

WILLOW

We can't leave him here like this! We'll have to take him with us to the museum.

SPIKE

Oh, you go on. I won't do anything. I feel better now. Promise.

Xander puts an arm around Spike's shoulder as they walk toward the stairs.

XANDER

Think of the happy. If we don't find what we're looking for, we face an apocalypse.

SPIKE

(eager)
Really? You're not just saying that?
CUT TO:

EXT. SUNNYDALE BUSINESS DISTRICT-- NIGHT

Buffy patrols through the town. She comes across Riley slowly walking down the street concentrating on a small handheld tracking device. She waits for him to get to her.

RILEY

Buffy.

BUFFY

Is this really the time for Donkey Kong?

Riley frowns confused.

RILEY

What?

Buffy indicates the device.

RILEY

Oh. It takes trace readings of the creature's pheromones.

BUFFY

And?

RILEY

And it's either mating season for this thing or it's moving all over town. You know, Buffy...

BUFFY

Actually I need to go. Big bad needs to be squished.

Riley falls in beside her.

RILEY

Right. I'm on it too. (steps in front of her) It's just this thing-- this you-and-me thing-- it's stupid!

BUFFY

I know. Which is why we can't do it, the you-and-me thing.

RILEY

No, I mean you're stupid. (off Buffy's look) I mean... I don't mean that. (beat) No, I think maybe I do.

BUFFY

Wow, with sweet talk like that, you'll definitely melt my reservations.

RILEY

I'm serious. You have this twisted way of looking at things, this doom-and-gloom mentality. You keep thinking like that and things will probably turn out just the way you expect.

Buffy dodges past him.

BUFFY

You know, there is nothing more dangerous than a Psych grad student.

Riley jumps back in front of her.

RILEY

Buffy, where is the bad here? It just turns out we are even more well-matched than we thought we were. I mean, you're a... (sotto) fry cook and so am I!

BUFFY

Yeah, but you're an amateur fry cook and I come form a long line of fry cooks that don't live past 25.

RILEY

Which is exactly the attitude I'm talking about. Look, I know the risks of what we do. I also know it's more rewarding than any other job on the planet... and fun.

BUFFY

Fun? The last person I know that believed that is in a coma right now because she had so much fun on the job.

RILEY

I'm not saying that you shouldn't take your work seriously.

BUFFY

That I should just turn my frown upside down? Is that it? I wish I could. But this isn't the kind of gig where you can just hang it up at the end of the night and snuggle with your honey.

RILEY

But why? Why can't it be?

BUFFY

Because I've tried it, okay? And every time it just fell apart. And then I get sucked right back into the über-evil.

RILEY

Welcome to the story of the world. Things fall apart, Buffy. And evil? It comes and goes. But the way people manage is they don't do it alone. They pull each other through. If you weren't so self- involved you'd see that.

Anger smolders in Buffy's eyes.

BUFFY

(cold)
You have no idea what you're talking about. You barely know me.

She walks past him but he keeps up with her.

RILEY

I know that it's not just a job thing. I'm sure that there is some good-looking guy that done you wrong in there, too. But mostly I think you want to stay down in that dark place because maybe it's safer down there.

BUFFY

You are so out of line.

He takes her by the arms to hold her attention as he makes one last-ditch appeal.

RILEY

No. See, I don't think so. Look, we have an opportunity here, you and me, and the fact that you're too scared to even give it a try--

BUFFY

Is my business. So why don't you just leave me alone?

Riley straightens up slowly and looks hard at her, realizing that it's no use. Her mind is made up.

RILEY

Fair enough.

He looks at her for another moment, then walks past her without another word. Buffy closes her eyes for a moment then continues on herself.

CUT TO:

EXT. SUNNYDALE MUSEUM OF HISTORY-- NIGHT

Willow, Xander and Spike leave the Historical Museum of Sunnydale.

WILLOW

Great. No Word of Valios.

XANDER

Not even a Syllable of Valios.

SPIKE

(excited)
Which means I'm one step closer to melting in a sea of molten hellfire, yeah?

WILLOW

You shouldn't talk like that. Yeah, okay, so you can't kill anymore but there are other fun things you can do. You'll adjust.

SPIKE

Adjust? And what? End up like the two of you? No thank you.

XANDER

Here it goes. "We can't just leave him here to stake himself. It's not right."

SPIKE

I should think you would be glad to greet the End of Days. I mean, neither one of you is making much of a go at it. (to Xander) You. Kids your age are going off to University. You've made it as far as the basement. (to Willow) And Red here, you couldn't even keep dog-boy happy. You can take the loser out of high school but...

WILLOW

I see what you're doing. You're trying to get us to dust you.

SPIKE

Am not! I just don't want pity from geeks more useless than I am.

WILLOW

We're not useless! We help people. We fight the forces of evil!

SPIKE

Buffy fights the forces of evil. You're her groupies. She'd do just as well without you-- better I'd wager, since she wouldn't have to go about saving your hides all the time.

XANDER

That is so not true! We're part of the team. She needs us.

SPIKE

Or you're just the same tenth grade losers you've always been and she's too much of a softy to cut you loose.

Willow and Xander are speechless, all of a sudden not so sure Spike is wrong. After a moment, Spike turns and walks off, a satisfied grin spreading over his face.

CUT TO:

INT. GILES' APARTMENT-- NIGHT

Giles looks through yet another book. He finds a picture of the Word of Valios which turns out to be a 15th Century talisman.

GILES

Oh-- as usual-- dear.

He gets up and starts digging through an antique chest. He takes out a box filled with necklaces and talismans and, sure enough, there among all the baubles is the Word of Valios.

As he holds it up before him, three Vahrall demons rise up from the shadows and attack him.

CUT TO:

Later. Buffy walks into Giles' place. She finds Giles sitting on the floor, nursing his bruised head.

BUFFY

What happened?

Giles sits down on the couch next to Xander.

GILES

It's my fault. I should have known.

BUFFY

Giles...

GILES

The Word of Valios is the name of a talisman, not a book. I blame myself entirely. I had it here.

XANDER

You had it here? Okay, first I thought you were being to hard on yourself but...

Willow brings some ice wrapped in a dishtowel and Giles presses it against his head.

GILES

Oh, thank you. (to Buffy) I bought it at a sorcerer's estate sale. I really only glanced at it once. I thought it was a knock-off.

BUFFY

Well, they have it. And they probably have their sacrifices by now, too.

GILES

They're on their way to perform the sacrifice now.

BUFFY

On their way where? You found out what the ritual is for?

GILES

The Hellmouth. They are going to open the Hellmouth. The one in the library.

The guys look at each other apprehensively, then Buffy stands up resolutely.

BUFFY

Looks like we're going back to high school.
CUT TO:

EXT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- NIGHT

Establishing. The gang approaches the ruins of Sunnydale High. The burned and twisted building is silhouetted against the full moon hanging in the sky above it.

CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- CORRIDOR-- NIGHT

Buffy, Spike and crew cautiously pick their way through the rubble.

BUFFY

Be careful you guys. The place doesn't look too stable.

SPIKE

Fine by me. Hope we all go under.

BUFFY

Why is he even here? It's not like he can fight.

WILLOW

If we leave him alone, he'll stake himself.

BUFFY

And that's bad because? Fine. Whatever. Just keep him out of the way. I do not have time for this. (sighs) Okay, when we get to the library keep a lookout for victims they're keeping alive for the sacrifice. Getting them out is the first priority.

WILLOW

Will do.

BUFFY

Okay, you guys ready?

XANDER

Let's rock and roll.

SPIKE

(mocking Xander)
Let's rock and roll.

Xander shoots him a venomous look before moving on.

XANDER

Sunnydale High. These walls-- if they were still walls-- what stories they could tell.

He steps on something squishy.

XANDER

Eeew! (off their look) Mayor meat. Extra crispy.

WILLOW

I think we're near the library.
CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- LIBRARY-- NIGHT

There is a huge hole where the floor used to be. A growling chanting floats up from below.

WILLOW

Whoa. Check out the new floor plan.

The three Vahrall demons stand around a fissure in the floor.

BUFFY

Three of them.

WILLOW

I don't see any sacrifice people.

BUFFY

They must be around here somewhere. The ritual is not finished. And it's not going to be.

Buffy leaps down into the hole and attacks the three demons simultaneously. One of them drops the bottle with the blood and Xander scurries over to pick it up before any of the other demons can get it.

XANDER

The blood! (to Willow) Get the talisman. They can't do the ritual.

While Buffy continues fighting the three demons, Willow darts in and pulls the sack with the bones out of one of the demon's hands.

WILLOW

I've got the bones! (tosses them to Xander) Here!

Xander tosses them right back to her as he is attacked by one of the Vahrall demons.

XANDER

(to demon)
You've got the wrong man, dude. I've had a lot of practice with my lunch money.

Willow tosses the bag of bones to Spike, who sits by the edge of the hole apathetically watching the fight.

WILLOW

Spike!

Spike catches the bones and one of the Vahrall immediately charges him.

SPIKE

Right, perfect.

Buffy fights one demon, Xander another and the last is beating on Spike. The demon fighting Xander wrenches the bottle of blood from Xander's grasp, turns and jumps into the Hellmouth.

XANDER

Okay, I guess I won.

The earth suddenly begins to shake and Xander realizes.

XANDER

The demons! They are the sacrifice!

Spike finally has had enough of the beating. He hauls back, screams, and hits the demon with all his might, then puts his hand to his head, anticipating the intense pain to follow... but feels nothing.

SPIKE

No pain! (hits the demon again) I can hurt a demon!

His face morphs and he starts to make up for all the violence he's missed out on.

SPIKE

That's right. I'm back! And I'm a bloody animal! Yeah!

The Vahrall manages to gather up the sack of bones just as Spike picks the demon up and lifts it high above his head.

XANDER

No!

WILLOW

Spike, not in the hole!

Spike throws the Vahrall into the Hellmouth causing a bigger tremor to shake the earth. Spike looks at their horrified expressions.

SPIKE

What? I was helping!

BUFFY

(to everyone)
Get out of here! The building is going to come down!

A beam slams into Spike's head, dropping him to the ground. Xander runs over and helps him up and he and Willow help Spike out of the ruined library as Buffy continues to fight the last Vahrall demon. She tries staking it to little effect. As the Vahrall hauls back to hit Buffy, its arm is seized from behind by Riley, who swings it around and lays into it.

Buffy is surprised but grateful to see him.

BUFFY

Don't let it jump into the Hellmouth!

The Vahrall hurls Riley across the room. He gets right back up only to be dropped by a hard kick to the gut. Buffy is back up and rejoins the fray. She and Riley fight it in tandem for a moment before Buffy kicks the creature clear across the room. A beam drops on Riley and, while Buffy is distracted, the Vahrall picks up the talisman and slides headfirst into the Hellmouth.

Buffy rushes up to the edge seconds later.

BUFFY

I'm going in.

Riley hooks a cable to her belt.

RILEY

You're coming back out.

She nods at him and dives into the Hellmouth.

CUT TO:

INT. HELLMOUTH-- NIGHT

The demon falling through space.

CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- LIBRARY-- NIGHT

The cable spins out of a spool attached to Riley's belt as Buffy falls.

CUT TO:

INT. HELLMOUTH-- NIGHT

Buffy falling through space after the Vahrall.

CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- LIBRARY-- NIGHT

Riley wraps the cable around a piece of rebar protruding from some broken concrete nearby. The cable snaps taught and Riley starts to pull Buffy back up as the earth trembles even more violently.

Buffy's arm hooks over the edge of the hole and Riley rushes forward to help her climb out of the hole. Buffy drags the demon out of the Hellmouth behind her.

RILEY

(relieved)
Buffy.

As the Vahrall demon slumps down dead, the earth stops shaking.

CUT TO:

INT. SUNNYDALE HIGH-- CORRIDOR-- NIGHT

Riley and Buffy join Willow, Xander and Spike in the hallway. Riley nervously approaches Buffy's friends.

RILEY

Well, hey! Willow and Xander, right? Jeez, what are the chances, huh?

He looks to Buffy for help but she folds her arms and looks at the floor.

RILEY

Yeah, I was just passing by when I thought I heard people inside.

WILLOW

Passing by in your G.I. Joe outfit?

Riley looks down at himself-- battle gear and camouflage. Buffy suppresses a smile.

BUFFY

No offense, but you do look wicked conspicuous.

RILEY

I do? But it's... paintball! Yeah, I was playing paintball. And then the aftershocks--

XANDER

So you're one of the commando guys, huh?

Riley laughs nervously.

RILEY

Oh, no, no. Commando? No, I mean... (notices Spike) Don't I know you?

SPIKE

Me? (bad Texas accent) No. No, sir. I'm just an old pal of Xander's here.

Riley's not entirely convinced but doesn't have the time to dwell on it.

RILEY

Oh. That's nice.

Buffy heads for the door and Riley and the others follow.

XANDER

(to Willow)
It's kinda weird being back, isn't it?

Willow looks around at the singed and crumbling hallway.

WILLOW

Yeah. Everything seems so small and more charred and ruiny.
CUT TO:

INT. LOWELL HOUSE-- RILEY'S ROOM-- DAY

Riley shoots hoops again without much enthusiasm. A knock on the door.

RILEY

Come in.

Buffy sticks her head in, then enters.

BUFFY

You never called. So I didn't know...

RILEY

Oh, hey. I'm sorry. I'm just... I'm a dead man. Secret. Highly. Or it's supposed to be. And then you find out. I can deal. You're special. But last night with your friends was a disaster. I mean, could I have been less convincing? I was trained to be sneaky and stuff and I'm like, "Hi! Paintball. Just passing by!" I should have just given them my security code and rank!

BUFFY

(jealous)

You have a security code and rank?

RILEY

No. Did I just say...? This is so not good. (sighs) Everybody knows about me. I'm finished. It's the end of the world.

Buffy walks up to him with a smile.

BUFFY

No, it's not.

She leans down and kisses him.

CUT TO:

INT. HARRIS HOME-- BASEMENT-- DAY

Willow and Xander sit on the couch watching TV while Spike paces anxiously in front of them. They both lean to the side to see around him.

SPIKE

What's this? Sitting around watching the telly while there's evil still afoot? (turns the TV off) That's not very industrious of you. I say we go out there and kick a little demon ass!

Xander and Willow stare at him in shock.

SPIKE

What? Can't go without your Buffy, is that it? Too chicken? Let's find her. She is the Chosen One after all. Come on! Vampires! Grrr! Nasty! Let's annihilate them. For justice and for the safety of puppies and Christmas, right? Let's fight that evil! Let's kill something!
FADE TO BLACK

SPIKE

(o.s.)
Oh, come on!
END