[Transcript of "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" episode Where The Wild Things Are at buffyology.com.]
BUFFY pounds on a vampire. It's putting up a good fight but is clearly no match for her. RILEY takes over, punching the vampire repeatedly as Buffy loads her crossbow. She brings it to bear as Riley throws the vampire over his shoulder, then seizes him and holds him as a target for Buffy. She fires but her shot goes wild as a huge horned demon appears out of the shadows and shoves Riley out of the way, then helps the vampire up. Buffy drops her crossbow and joins the fight again. She kicks the vampire, then the demon. Riley and Buffy huddle and regroup.
Okay, you get Fang, I'll get Horny. (off Riley's look) I mean--
The vampire attacks and flips Riley over his shoulder. Riley rolls and comes up holding a stake.
Buffy kicks the demon in the chest and knocks him over. She seizes the demon by the neck and stabs him in the back. Riley stakes the vampire and it crumbles to dust.
Buffy throws down her weapon and sighs. Riley slips his stake back in his thigh holster.
Whoo! Vampire-demon tag team. Who says we can't all get along?
Don't recall ever seeing that before.
They approach each other, panting heavily, touching each other, sizing each other up and looking each other over.
It never happens. Vamps... hate demons. Like stripes and polka dots. Major... clashing. So, uh... I guess we should tell Giles about this.
They caress each other, their lust obvious.
Right.
I mean, it's the kind of thing he'd... want to know about.
Uh-huh.
Like as soon as possible.
As soon as possible.
Riley's bedroom door opens and Riley stumbles in holding Buffy, kissing her passionately. She's pulls his shirt off.
I mean it now. First thing... in the morning... we go tell Giles.
They fall onto the bed.
First thing. Good plan.
Opening credit sequence.
Slow pan across the lobby of the dark and deserted Lowell House. Chairs, couches, fireplace. Move up the stairs and across the landing to the door of Riley's room.
Their lovemaking over, Riley and Buffy sleep and snuggle. Riley stirs and wakes up, looks at Buffy, kisses her shoulder and gets out of bed. He puts on a pair of pants and leaves, closing the door quietly.
Riley starts at a rattling sound and looks around, following it down the hall to the closed door of the common bathroom. He opens the door and walks inside.
Riley flips on the light. Pan across the bathroom: sinks, toilet stalls, bathtub with the shower curtain pulled shut. Riley looks around, then approaches the tub slowly. He yanks back the shower curtain. There's nothing there except a drippy faucet. Riley smirks and turns it off.
An ice-cream truck makes its way down the street, blaring cheerful children's music.
XANDER drives the truck wearing a red-and-white striped shirt and matching hat. ANYA sits next to him.
Aw, come on. Big party at Riley's house. It's gonna be fun. Why don't you want to go?
You know why not. Those Initiative men make me... not comfortable. And you don't care.
They don't even know that you're an ex-demon. And we don't know that they'd care even if they did know. Which, by the way, they're not going to find out.
He pulls over and gets up and goes into the back of the truck to set up.
Anyways, they'll probably be too busy flirting with every other girl at the party to even notice you.
So... you don't think I'm desirable enough to be flirted with?
Is that it? I'm just not going to win here, am I?
You don't find me attractive any more.
What are you talking about? I think you're gorgeous.
Oh, really? Well then, why didn't we have sex last night?
Is that what this is about? We've gone other nights without sex.
I know. Twice! I can't believe we're breaking up.
Breaking--? We're not! Are we?
Of course we are. You've obviously grown tired of me. I mean, I've seen it happen to thousands of women over the centuries, I just never thought it would happen to me.
Anya, there's a lot more to you and me than the sex. (she rolls her eyes) Well, there should be! I mean, a relationship is something that you work at. Work through. Together.
I don't understand. I'm pretty, I'm young... I mean, why didn't you take advantage of me? Is something wrong with your body?
There's nothing wrong with my body!
Well, there must be. I saw that wrinkled man on TV talking about erectile dysfunction--
Whoa! Hey. All systems go here. No function problem, okay?
Anya looks skeptical. He starts taking off his shirt.
You want sex? Let's have sex. Right here. Hot, sweaty, big sex.
Pull back to reveal a group of kids and parents staring in the customer window at them, open-mouthed with shock.
GILES meets with Buffy at her dorm. WILLOW, TARA and Riley lounge around the room. Buffy sits on Riley's lap and they make eyes at each other and hold hands throughout the scene.
There's always been great discord between them and yet you say that the vampire went to the demon's aid. The two of them were working as a team?
Everything except giving each other little pats on the behind.
Extraordinarily odd. As a rule, demons have no empathy for any of the species other than their own. In fact, most think of vampires as... abominations. Mixing with human blood and all.
So... what brought these two together?
Not what. Who.
Adam.
Think about it. Who better to bring together a bunch of demon types than someone who's made out of a bunch of demon types?
So he's bridging the gap between the races.
Huh, like Martin Luther King.
I suggest that over the next several nights you two concentrate your patrol in that same area. If there's any other peculiar pairings or groupings, you let me know.
I'll let the squad know as well. They're patrolling. (to Buffy) We'll have a reserve unit out during the party.
Party?
Tomorrow night. We're having a thing.
At a time like this? Whose idea was that?
Mine. Boys are pretty ragged, need to let off steam.
Point taken.
You're welcome to come.
Well, much as I long for a good kegger, I have other plans. The Espresso Pump.
What are you doing there?
I'm... it's a... meeting of grownups. It couldn't possibly be of any interest to you lot.
Buffy, hey, look at the time. Don't you have a class?
Yeah, in about 20 minutes.
Yeah, but... I have that... thing.
Buffy suddenly gets his meaning.
Right! That... thing we could... squeeze in... before.
Yeah.
They get up and quickly leave.
Bye!
Gotta run.
They probably going to--
Yes, thank you, Willow. I did attend university in the Mesozoic Era. I do remember what it's like.
The downstairs is dark and shrouded in shadow. FORREST and GRAHAM come downstairs shivering.
Didn't we just get the furnace fixed? It's freezing!
I'll call in the A.M., get somebody to come--
They hear a noise and follow it up to Riley's door. They stand and listen for a moment. Rhythmic moaning comes from behind the door.
Oh, you gotta be kidding me. When do these two come up for air?
Slaves to the rhythm.
They walk off.
Buffy and Riley make passionate love. Riley opens the drawer in the nightstand and retrieves a condom.
One of Riley's Initiative soldiers, MASON, tosses wood on the fire. Forrest and Graham come down from above again.
Room should have warmed up by now.
I've been building this thing for an hour. It's still an icebox in here.
Don't bother, Mason. We got a couple of heat generators pumpin' away upstairs.
Mason looks up and grins while Forrest and Graham rub their arms to keep warm.
The lovemaking continues, passion building, hands caressing, bodies merging together.
Mason finishes with the fire and stands up, blowing on his hands and rubbing them together. He sits in a chair in front of the fire.
Buffy rolls on top of Riley, straddling him. Their passion reaches new heights.
Flames suddenly explode out of the fireplace, engulfing Mason. He screams as his clothing ignites.
Jeez!
Forrest snatches a banner from the wall, wraps it around Mason and extinguishes the flames.
Call a medic. Get help!
As Graham runs off to call for assistance, we close on the fireplace, the fire back to normal, nothing unusual.
Anya walks down an alley, an annoyed expression on her face. She turns a corner onto the street, the Bronze in the distance. Suddenly SPIKE leaps out in front of her, his arms raised menacingly.
Grrr!
Anya reacts with a startled yelp. Spike deflates and looks at her, annoyed.
Oh, it's you.
His face morphs back to normal.
Spike! (petulant) What are you doing? You made me yell really high.
Hey! Yeah, I did. I scared you.
He grins and gets right in her face.
Gimme money.
She pushes him away with a disgusted sigh.
I'm not paying you for scaring me.
You're not paying me. I'm robbing you.
Oh, well now, that's just ludicrous. You can't hurt me because you've got that chip in your brain. Also, I like my money the way it is... when it's mine.
Spike growls and spins her around.
Oh, now come on. You're not even bumpy any more.
He feels his forehead with fingers.
Oh. I was just a minute ago. Hang on. Get me mad again.
Does this really work? Scaring people into giving you their money?
Yeah, it works. Keeps me in blood and beers. (grins) Plus, you know, funny. Watching those little humans quail.
I'm beginning to understand why you're so friendless.
Look who's talking! I don't see Droopy Boy on your arm. Did he have better things to do?
Anya crosses her arms and raises one eyebrow dangerously.
Loud party music blares and people come and go, most holding beers. Xander, Buffy, Willow and Tara stand together, watching the spectacle and chatting. Buffy looks across the room and smiles. We follow her gaze and to reveal Riley, Forrest and Graham in their own little group, talking amongst themselves. Riley glances over at Buffy and smiles as well, his attention more on her than on his friends.
You're kidding? Mason requested to go on patrol?
He just didn't want the girls to see him with his eyebrows all burnt off.
He's lucky that's all he lost.
You should have seen it, Rye. Weird as hell.
Mm-hmm.
Forrest and Graham frown and follow his eyes to Buffy.
How many kids?
I don't know, a whole herd of them. And some parents to boot. It was kind of embarrassing, which, welcome to life with Anya.
So you don't even know if she's coming tonight?
I'm thinking no. She was pretty upset. Which makes me wonder, is it me? Am I the crazy one?
Willow and Tara have no answers for him.
Uh-huh. Absolutely.
The others follow Buffy's gaze to Riley. Willow smiles and takes advantage of Buffy's state of mind.
Hey, Buffy, this might be a good time to mention that someone-- so not me-- spilled something purply on your new peasant top which I would never borrow without asking. Still love me?
Uh-huh.
Willow and Tara share a look and a laugh. Buffy suddenly comes out of her fog.
Huh? What about my peasant top?
Nothin'.
Xander was just talking about Anya.
Buffy nods vaguely.
Oh, it's nothing much. Just feeling pretty glad right now that a certain ex-demon doesn't have any powers.
Buffy's attention is gone again, staring over at Riley.
Anya and Spike sit together on the couch, sharing their woes over a couple of beers.
Boy, I miss those powers.
Yeah, tell me about it.
A year and a half ago, I could have eviscerated him with my thoughts. Now I can barely hurt his feelings. (sighs) Things used to be so much simpler.
You know... you take the killing for granted and then it's gone and you're like, "I wish I'd appreciated it more." Stopped and smelled the corpses, you know?
Yeah. Now everything's complicated.
It's a terrible thing, love is. I been there myself. (beat) It ended badly.
Of course it did. It always does. Seen a thousand relationships. First there's the love and sex and then there's nothing left but the vengeance. That's how it works.
You and I should just go do the vengeance. Both of us! You eviscerate Xander and I'll stake Dru. Like a project.
Anya's tempted.
I don't know. I just can't. You can go do Dru though.
Yeah. I will. (beat) Maybe later.
Anya smiles and they sip their beers.
The party is in full swing. People dance, have fun. ROY chats up CHRISTIE, a freshman.
See, the thing that they're afraid to teach us about is the inherent sensuality of language. I mean, you learn French and they make it all about conjugations and fronted vowels... but nobody really talks about, you know, the way language tastes, the way it feels, rolling over your tongue. I mean, just think about "car" versus "voiture."
He leans his hand on the wall and makes a startled face.
Oh!
Christie looks at him, puzzled, as he stares at the wall.
Wow.
Are you all right?
Fine! I-- oh!
He gasps as he puts his hand back on the wall. Christie looks concerned.
Oh, my god. Wow... wow.
So you really like French, huh?
Yeah, well...
He gives her a satisfied smile and sigh.
Xander walkis through the crowd. He approaches JULIE who is admiring the Lowell House trophy case. He reads the inscription on one of the trophies.
"Lowell House. 1962."
Julie smiles.
Yes.
Just, you know, impressing you with my knowledge of local history. Or my knowledge of reading.
You didn't even have to sound anything out.
You should see me add short columns of small numbers.
You're funny.
Thanks. I mean... funny "how amusing," or funny "back away and avoid eye contact"?
Hmm... kinda both. Who are you here with?
Right now I seem to be here with you.
She smiles and he smiles back.
Buffy approaches Riley and his friends.
Hey, can we... (points upstairs) I, um, need you to take a look at an... essay for... class.
That... essay, right. (to Forrest) Here.
He hands his drink to Forrest who looks quite annoyed. Graham only looks amused.
I'll catch you guys in a minute. Essay... gotta look at...
Buffy pulls him upstairs.
And I'm the one who got a D in covert ops...
Roy and Christie are still talking near the "special" wall. EVAN, one of Roy's friends, walks past.
Hey, Evan, come here. You gotta see this.
I'm getting a beer.
No, no. First, just put your hand right here.
He points at the wall.
Okay. Somehow this is a trick, I know it.
Here.
He grabs Evan's hand and puts it on the wall. Christie watches with a grin.
Now stay. Don't move.
Evan's eyes go wide and he starts breathing heavily. The others laugh with expectation.
Whoa. What is that? I kinda feel...
He pants and gestures to his crotch.
Oh, my god. Oh, god.
Willow and Tara sit together on the stairs.
Horses, like big, tall, teeth that can take your arm off horses?
Well, sure. I learned to ride when I was a kid. It's fun. And, by the way, most horses don't like arm very much.
Willow looks uncertain.
I had a bad birthday party pony thing when I was four. I look at horses and I see really big ponies.
You should ride with me sometime. I guarantee safety and fun.
Willow smiles happily.
Well... if you promise you'll look after me.
She puts her hand on Tara's knee and Tara suddenly jumps back, horrified.
Don't touch me!
Willow frowns in confusion.
That's just disgusting.
She stands up and backs away from Willow.
Tara... what's the matter?
I don't... I don't know.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... are you feeling okay?
I'm fine, I just want to... go to the bathroom.
She turns and disappears up the stairs and Willow watches her go, concerned and hurt.
Spike and Anya enter the party together. Spike stares at one of the party-goers as he goes out the door.
Hey, I know these guys from somewhere.
Initiative soldiers. They live here. Experiments happen in the lab under the house. It's where they kept you, put in your chip. Let's have fun!
What are you doing? You brought me here?
Xander sees Anya and comes over.
Anya? What are you doing? (re: Spike) You brought him here?
That's what I said! Only I hit the "here" part.
Anya, this is crazy. We had a little fight. It just means that we have to work our way through some stuff. It doesn't mean that we rebound with the evil undead. And what have we been doing with him anyway?
Oh, who's the puffed-up manly man? All splotchy and possessive.
It's not very convincing, is it?
Yeah. I see now what you said about him earlier. No follow- through.
Hey! What a surprise! Hostile 17! Can I get you a drink, Hostile 17?
Spike looks around anxiously.
Xander, stop.
No one seems to have noticed Spike and he regains some of his confidence.
Well, may be some fun to be had in the lion's den after all. You two keep scrapping. I'll find the liquor.
As Spike moves off, Xander turns to Anya.
Anya. What are you doing with him?
We didn't have sex, if that's what you mean. That's all I do now, not have sex.
You're overreacting. We had a fight. But see, it's okay. It's normal.
Yes. The normal part of the ending a relationship right before the vengeance begins.
Right. No! Vengeance?
Relax, I'm not going to do it. I'm just trying to tell you that we have nothing in common besides both of us liking your penis. And now I don't even have that! So I get to say when it's done. And it's done.
Okay, you know what? You don't deserve to be the one to walk away from this. I've put up with a hell of a lot from you-- much of that in the last minute-- and if anyone gets to be the one to leave, it's me.
He starts to walk away.
You're leaving me?
Yes. I am.
Where are you going?
To enjoy the party.
He walks away.
Well then, I'm staying too, to show you how much I'm not bothered by you having fun! Because I'll be having more fun!
I'm having fun already!
Me too! Woo hoo!
She turns and stalks off, leaving a frustrated Xander at a loss. He turns a corner and comes upon a group of college kids sitting on the floor playing Spin The Bottle.
Huh. Sometimes I just don't get the sophisticated college lifestyle.
He starts to leave, then notices one of the players is Julie, the girl he was talking with earlier. She notices him too, looks surprised, then smiles. She indicates that he should join them. Xander grins and sits down.
Gee, it's a good thing Mom's out. We'd be in trouble.
Spike sits by the beer kegs watching the other people drink. A drunk Initiative guy across from him frowns.
Hey, buddy. You look familiar.
Yeah. I get that a lot.
The guy keeps staring at him but Spike just sits there, bored.
Spin The Bottle. Xander spins and it stops, pointing at Julie.
Hey, Xander.
Julie! (nervous) Okay. This then would be the kissing.
Julie gets on all fours and leans toward him. He moves forward, looking around nervously for Anya, and quickly kisses her cheek.
Very smooth cheek you have there. Do you exfoliate?
Suddenly Julie grabs him and plants a passionate kiss on him. The others laugh and cheer. She climbs on top of him, still kissing.
Whoa!
He grabs her by the arms and pulls her away.
Julie! What?
She suddenly looks horrified.
I'm sorry. I didn't... I'm sorry!
She jumps up and runs off. Confused, Xander goes after her.
Xander moves through the crowd, looking for Julie. He passes a large group gathered around the Orgasm Wall. Christie has her hand on the wall and moans in ecstasy as she falls back against Roy.
Xander pauses outside a closed door when he hears sobbing coming from within.
Hi, you okay? Julie?
He tries the doorknob but it's locked.
Julie cries and cuts her hair off with a straight razor. She drops the chunks of hair to floor as she sobs and mutters to herself.
I'm bad... I'm bad.
Willow knocks on bathroom door.
Tara? It's me. Tara?
She opens door and walks in.
Willow walks into bathroom and looks around. Pan through the empty bathroom.
Tara?
Willow goes to the sink, turns on the water, splashes it on her face. She straightens up, drying her face with a towel. She spins around as a gurgling noise sounds behind her. Frowning, she approaches the bathtub and pulls back the shower curtain to reveal a young boy in the bathtub, under water, arms crossed over his chest, struggling. She reaches down to help him but he disappears leaving nothing but empty water. Willow straightens up, confused. She turns to find the boy standing behind her, dripping wet, staring at her with dead eyes. She screams, terrified.
Buffy and Riley are in bed, making love again. They pause when they hear Willow's scream and look toward the door.
Was that Willow?
I don't know. Doesn't matter.
They continue having sex, Willow all but forgotten.
Back to the Spin The Bottle game. Two people kiss while the others cheer. Xander enters.
Hey guys, that girl Julie, she's freakin' out.
Everyone ignores him, intent on the game.
Is anyone friends with Julie?
Still no response.
Willow comes down the stairs.
Xander? Tara?
She runs through the house and finds Xander staring at the Spin The Bottle group.
Xander. Ghost boy. Drowning in a tub. I tried to save him but, being a ghost already, well, I was way too late.
A ghost? (Willow nods) What's the deal? Is every frat on this campus haunted? And if so, why do people keep coming to these parties? 'Cause it's not the snacks.
Tara walks up and touches Willow's arm.
Tara, how are you?
I'm okay, but I don't like it here. This house... I... think we should go.
Willow nods as Xander's attention is drawn once more to the kissing game in the corner.
CU on the spinning bottle. Instead of slowing down, it gets faster and faster. The players look puzzled, then alarmed. Suddenly, the bottle explodes and the kids scream as broken glass peppers them.
We need Buffy.
She takes Xander and Tara and heads off, looking for the Slayer.
Buffy?
Buffy? Riley?
They pound on Riley's door but receive no answer.
Suddenly, sharp-looking spiny thorns with green leaves sprout from the cracks around the edges of the door. Willow and Xander jump back, terrified.
Buffy!
Extreme overhead shot of Buffy and Riley in bed, kissing and writhing, a marathon of non-stop sex. Panting and moaning echo over the faint sounds of Xander's pounding and yelling. The bed recedes until it's just a small square in the middle of a sea of blackness; Buffy and Riley an isolated island amid a vast dark gulf.
Resume. Riley and Buffy's lovemaking is no longer passionate. It's frantic, almost desperate. Riley pauses.
Do you want to go back?
Never.
Xander still pounds on the door.
Buffy! Riley!
Buffy!
Tara turns and looks behind them.
We gotta get them out of there.
Tara starts to walk away while Willow and Xander stare at the writhing thorns still growing from under the door.
Tara walks to the balcony and looks down on the main floor. Everyone looks around in confusion as the building starts to shake. People scream and run for the exits. Glass rattles and everything shakes. Suddenly a particularly strong tremor jolts the house and everyone falls to the floor, including Tara, Willow and Xander.
Spike sits calmly in a chair as people mill around in full panic. He smiles gleefully.
Well, this party's starting to liven up after all.
He drops his beer as leather straps suddenly shoot out of the chair and wrap themselves around his chest, wrists, legs and mouth, pinning him down and immobilizing him.
Graham looks grim as people run screaming past him. Forrest runs toward him, against the flow of the crowd.
Graham, quit standing around! Help get these people to safety!
Touch not the impure thing...
What?
...or ye shall perish. Find salvation in the cross of our Lord and Savior.
Forrest has no idea what's gotten into Graham but he doesn't have time to deal with it.
Right.
He goes to the wall and flips a switch, then grabs Graham and turns him to face the wall as the green scanner travels across their faces.
Retinal scan accepted.
The Initiative elevator opens. Forrest walks in, then looks back at Graham, who just stands there. Forrest grabs him and pulls him into the elevator as the door closes.
Just as suddenly as it started, the building stops shaking. Anya looks around, panting. She turns around to find a young girl screaming and waving her arms, running right toward her. Anya has no time to get out of the way and braces for impact but the girl runs right through her. Anya gasps and looks behind her but the girl has disappeared. The shaking begins again.
Willow, Xander and Tara bolt down the stairs. Anya runs over to them.
Anya. We gotta get out of here. Come on!
Books fly off the shelves, attacking them. They duck and run for the door.
Spike struggles and manages to rip the restraints off. He jumps out of the chair and follows them.
Xander looks back and sees Julie, bald and staggering toward him.
Please help me.
Xander grabs her and helps her toward the door. Patchy clumps of hair are scattered across her head and she looks dazed.
Forrest and Graham enter. They make their way over to a SCIENTIST who's on the phone.
We got trouble upstairs.
The scientist motions for them to wait a moment.
Now.
He hangs up and starts to walk away. Forrest and Graham follow.
Some sort of disembodied presence in the house.
We've been paging you.
Whatever this thing's outputting, it must be scrambling all the frequencies.
Guard Section 2, Level 5 precautions. If the cell door locking mechanisms malfunction, you know what to do.
Got it.
The scientist moves off as Forrest looks at Graham.
You with me?
I'm good.
Let's lock it down.
Xander helps Julie out, followed by Tara, Willow, Spike and Anya. Julie immediately runs off, humiliated. Spike takes out a cigarette and lights it.
We have to go back in there.
Why?
Because Buffy and Riley are trapped.
So? (off Willow's look) She's the Slayer, he's a big soldier boy, what do they need you for?
Anya, look around! There's ghosts and shaking and people are going all Felicity with their hair. We're fresh out of superpeople and somebody's gotta go back in there. (beat) Now who's with me?
Willow and Tara hesitate.
I am.
Everyone looks at Spike in surprise.
I know I'm not the first choice for heroics and Buffy's tried to kill me more than once. And I don't fancy a single one of you at all. But... (beat) Actually, all that sounds pretty convincing.
He shakes his head and walks away.
I wonder if Danger Mouse is on.
Xander, let's get out of here.
You want to bail, fine. (re: house) I'm going back in there and I'm not coming out till I bring my friend with me.
He walks to the door, opens it and peeks inside. He takes a few cautious steps in, then some invisible force knocks him right back out. He flies backward and lands several yards down the path.
Or... it could be Watcher time.
We'll go to Giles'.
No, wait. He isn't there. He was going to the Espresso Pump.
Right, he told us not to come. He needed some grownup time.
They rush off in search of the Watcher.
Giles sits on stage in the coffee bar, playing a guitar and singing. He wears casual clothes and has an earring in his left ear. Lots of people are sitting and watching/listening.
No one knows what it's like To be the bad man To be the sad man Behind blue eyes No one knows what it's like To be hated...
Reveal Anya, Willow, Xander and Tara watching in slack-jawed amazement. Willow and Xander are in a state of shock.
Oh.
Wow.
Could we go back to the haunted house? 'Cause, this is creeping me out.
Does he do this a lot?
Sure. Every day the earth rotates backward and the skies turn orange.
Giles notices them watching and looks embarrassed but keeps singing.
But my dreams, they are as empty, As my conscience seems to be... I have hours, only lonely...
Now I remember why I used to have such a crush on him.
Well, he is pretty good.
His voice... is pleasant.
All three girls are riveted.
What?!
Oh, come on. He is kinda sexy.
I'm fighting total mental breakdown here, Will. No more fueling the fire please.
Lowell House is deserted, the place in shambles. Pan across the room and up the stairs to Riley's door, just like before, only now vines cover the entire door and much of the surrounding ceiling and floor. We hear muffled howling and screeching-- jungle noises.
Buffy and Riley break off their lovemaking. They let go of each other and lie side by side, panting.
You're... too far away from me.
I'm right here.
You... have to... keep touching me...
She rolls over and starts kissing him again.
Giles paces while the others sit at a study table.
When you called to Buffy and Riley, they didn't cry out or respond in any way?
No. They're probably dead.
Unless they're too busy doin' it to answer.
Doing what?
You know, for a god of acoustic rock, you're... kind of naive.
I didn't think you meant... In the midst of all that, do you really think they were keeping it up? (off everyone's look) Oh, for a different phrasing.
Well, see that's the thing. People all over the party were starting to act... weird. (sotto) Sexually.
In what way?
You know. (embarrassed) Ways.
Well, it could be some form of succub¾, or a satyr's prank. It could even be energy coming from the lab underneath the Lowell Fraternity.
It wasn't always a fraternity. Look!
Willow pages through a book and stops on a page featuring Lowell House.
"Between 1949 and 1960, the Lowell Home for Children housed upward of 40 adolescents. Runaways, juvenile delinquents and emotionally disturbed teenagers from the Sunnydale area."
Children? Did any of them die in there?
If there were deaths, then perhaps we're dealing with a fairly standard haunting.
It doesn't say. It's mostly about the old house director, Genevieve Holt. "Sunnydale Children's Aid: Thirty years of community service. Giving disadvantaged kids the love and care they deserve."
When did she die?
She didn't.
GENEVIEVE HOLT opens a pair of French doors and ushers Giles, Xander, and Anya into her home.
No, no, I don't mind at all. I was up. Early morning prayer.
Of course.
And I like talking about my kids. I still call them that. My kids.
She sits in a chair while Xander and Anya look around the room. Giles sits across from her.
I suppose you were like a mother to them. You did everything for them?
Oh, yes. I fed them, clothed them, educated them in the way of the Lord. I was given a medal.
Yes, wonderful. Congratulations. This'll sound a little strange but did you notice any odd... disturbances in the house?
I don't understand.
Well, like furniture moving of its own accord or objects appearing out of nowhere or perhaps you saw someone appear one moment and then they were gone the next, inexplicably.
Why that sounds like crazy talk.
Yes, it does, doesn't it? Yes, well, forgive me for asking this, but the children in your care, were any of them ever ill or did anything ever happen to any of them?
Well, some had the flu and such. No one died, if that's what you mean. The engraving on the medal says how good I was with the children.
Oh, yes.
I treated them as I would my own flesh and blood. Gave them hugs and praise when they were good and... punished them when they were dirty.
Well, children will be children. They, you know, they do like to play in the muck.
Mrs. Holt looks disapproving.
You didn't mean mud dirty.
My kids didn't think I knew but I did.
Very perceptive of you.
Without me they would have been shut out of the Kingdom. Lost to lust.
But you... helped them.
The girls felt the vanity more than the boys. I'd see them preening like Jezebel, doting over their pretty hair.
So you'd hack it off.
I'd remove the temptation to admire themselves. They were better for it.
What about the bathtub? Something happened there.
I performed baptisms on the most unclean. Those who were tainted with impure thought and deed.
You held them under?
They needed to be reborn. (stands) You choose to pass judgment on me?
Well, someone ought to! You traumatized and abused these children, children who have no doubt become extremely disturbed adults! You have ruined lives, Mrs. Holt. Furthermore, what you did has now manifested itself as a malevolent presence which threatens still more lives! You have a great deal to answer for.
She starts to walk away and he pursues her.
I refuse to listen to this when I can smell the sin on each and every one of you.
Yeah? You smell sin? Well, let me tell you something, lady. She who smelt it dealt it! (off Giles' look) It's like what you said but faster.
The three leave the house.
Well, that totally adds to my "old people are crazy" theorem.
I don't get it. I mean, those kids were tortured but they weren't killed so where are those ghosts coming from?
I don't believe there are any ghosts.
One ran right through me.
Not a ghost. An apparition. I believe we're dealing with a kind of poltergeist. A whole cluster of them, in fact, born out of intense adolescent emotion and sexual energy.
Both of which were totally pent up during Mrs. Holt's reign of repression.
So with Buffy and Riley having... you know, acts of nakedness around the clock lately, maybe they set something free. Like a big burstin' poltergasm.
Yes. And now the poltergeists are drawing more and more energy out of them. Feeding on them, in fact. Buffy and Riley are powering this whole thing.
Okay, they're the battery in the boo factory. So what happens when the battery's drained?
Giles doesn't look happy.
They die.
Buffy and Riley kiss, moan and pant. The sounds have taken on an ethereal quality. They become blurry, indistinct. Riley pulls away and rolls over onto his back, drained.
Don't stop. Never stop touching me.
She turns him toward her and pulls him into her as they resumes their passionate kissing.
Tara spreads a red cloth across a table, then sits down in a chair as Willow brings candles and sets them before her. Giles sits on the floor while Xander rummages through Buffy's weapon chest.
What good are weapons against disembodied spirits, Xander? They have no ass to kick.
She's right. You should just stay outside.
We'll bind the spirits long enough for you to get Riley and Buffy out.
How much time will you buy us?
Could be tricky. We're calling upon the communal spirit of a certain time and place.
Willow lights the candles as Xander takes out weapons. He hands one to Anya, who holds the machete curiously.
Let's go.
Anya hesitates, then follows him.
Xander and Anya look up at the house with trepidation.
What do you feel?
Sad, afraid of being without you and a little hungry.
I meant about the house.
Oh. Still haunted.
Tara reaches for Willow and Giles.
Give me your hands. Form a circle.
They all join hands and close their eyes as Tara begins the incantation.
Children of the past, spirits of Lowell, be guided by our light. Come forth and be known to us.
How will we know when it works?
A noise. They all open their eyes to find a group of ghostly children silently surrounding them.
We'll know.
The front door swings open and Xander and Anya peer in nervously.
House is clean.
Let's go. You first.
Xander takes a deep breath and walks in with Anya in tow.
They look up to find the entire staircase covered in leafy, spiny vines.
We need to work fast. Never know how long before the munchkins get homesick.
Or the human battery conks out.
They start up the stairs, picking their way through the vines.
Watch your fingers.
He hacks at the vines with the machete.
We implore you... be still.
The ghost children watch silently.
Find it in your hearts to leave our friends passage.
Transform your pain. Release your past. And... uh... get over it.
Giles looks over at her, questioningly. Willow shrugs.
Xander and Anya make their way through the jungle that has become Lowell House.
You okay?
Anya just shoots him an angry look while hacking at a vine.
Xander finally makes it to Riley's door but as he reaches for the knob, a sudden wind springs up.
The wind swirls Willow's hair around her head as the children look up in fear. The wind howls loudly, now accompanied by a peculiar screeching. Tara yells to be heard over the din.
Find here the serenity you seek, the peace you--
The table flies out from under them hands and crashes against the door. The wind abruptly stops and they look around, uncertain.
What's happened?
We lost them.
Xander...
Xander is suddenly thrown back from the door, landing hard on his back.
Xander!
The vines detach from the wall, snake around Xander and hurl him into the bathroom. The door slams shut behind him.
Xander!
She runs to the door and grabs the knob but is thrown back, through the balcony railing and down to the floor below, the sofa breaking her fall.
Xander is in the bathtub, being held underwater by unseen hands, struggling for his life. Through the water he can see the children standing over him, watching silently.
Anya gets painfully to her feet, looking determined. She starts back up the stairs as the wind picks up even harder. She struggles against the gale.
Shut up, repressed crybabies!
She grips the banister tightly to keep from being blown back down the stairs but cries out in pain as a massive thorn sprouts from a vine beneath her hand and pushes right through her palm and out the other side.
Anya rips the thorn out and continues up the stairs looking even more determined and angry.
Xander's struggles get weaker as his lungs burn for air. Through the water he sees Anya reaching down for him. She yanks him out of the water and helps him out of the tub, sputtering and gasping for air.
They burst out of the bathroom into the vine-covered hallway.
Come on, we just gotta--
A vine whips off the wall and knocks him down.
Xander!
Anya helps him up and they continue fighting their way through the vines.
We can make it through this.
They push forward cautiously as a bunch of vines snake around Anya. She screams in panic.
Xander, get it off!
He rips the plants from her and they clutch each other and make their way to the door, twist the knob and push it open.
Riley's bed is tiny, a great distance away. It suddenly rushes forward and fills the frame. The walls of Riley's room materialize around it as the wind and screeching abruptly stops.
Buffy and Riley sit up in bed, naked and clutching the sheets to themselves.
Xander! Don't you knock?
Disheveled and beaten, Xander and Anya look at each other, then turn and walk away.
Buffy and friends sit around one of the lunch tables, eating and discussing the bizarre events of the previous night.
I can't believe it really happened.
I just had no idea. It's so creepy! He was really singing?
Willow nods.
I'd say it was more like crooning. (to Anya) If we grow old together, remind me to skip the midlife crisis.
He puts his hand on her knee affectionately. Anya smiles sweetly.
Okay.
Come on, you have to admit, it was kinda sexy.
Please stop saying that. I'm willing to offer cash incentives.
We're just lucky no one got injured. (to Buffy) No thanks to us.
Don't be too hard on yourself.
He's right, Will. If Riley and I hadn't gotten so wrapped up in each other, none of this would've happened.
True. Feel shame.
My girlfriend. Mistress of the learning plateau.
Really, it wasn't your fault. You were under the influence of powerful magicks.
We were like zombies. I had no control over myself at all.
Must have been horrible.
Buffy looks sidelong at Riley.
Yeah. Horrible.
Uh-huh.
Mm-hmm.
It was bad.