[Transcript of "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" episode Out Of My Mind at buffyology.com.]
BUFFY perches atop a crypt, surveying the silent graveyard, her preternatural senses on alert. She stands up, stake in hand, looks around and leaps to the ground. She bolts across the graveyard toward one of the freshly turned graves, arriving just as a pair of arms burst from the fresh dirt. Buffy stakes the vampire before it can extract itself from the ground.
She straightens up as another vampire emerges from its grave, ducks its swing and kicks it hard in the chest. The creature rolls to the ground and back to its feet just as RILEY appears and throws the demon aside.
Riley?
Buffy, what are you doing here?
My job?
Well, I just thought you were in the north sector.
Watch out!
The vampire attacks Riley from behind. He kicks the its legs out from under it and throws it into the side of a crypt.
Never mind.
Riley punches the vampire hard, then stakes him.
Another vampire starts clawing it way out of the ground. Buffy spots him and starts forward with a yell, raising her stake but the new vampire is tackled to the ground by a figure in black. Buffy stands aside, bemused.
Why do I even bother to show up?
Reveal SPIKE. He blocks several blows from the vampire, then pounds the demon into unconsciousness. He turns to Buffy with a huge grin.
Spike, what are you doing here?
Same thing as you and your Cub Scout here, I'll wager. A spot of violence before bedtime.
The vampire comes to and sends Spike reeling to the ground with a blow to the head. He gets to his knees, wiping blood from his nose. Buffy rushes forward, shoves Spike out of the way, and stakes the vampire to dust. She shoots Spike a dirty look.
What? I softened him up.
He wipes more blood from his nose, sniffs it, then licks it from his fingers.
Better keep out of my way, Spike. I'm not going to take this much longer.
Riley walks over to join them.
And I should do what in my spare time? Sit at home knitting cunning sweater sets?
Would it keep you out of my way?
She's right. You shouldn't be out here when she's patrolling.
Buffy turns to Riley in exasperation but holds her tongue.
Oh! I saw that. Looks like neither boy's entirely welcome. You should take him home, Slayer. Make him stay there. I've got knitting needles he can borrow.
Spike... I just saw you taste your own nose blood. You know what? I'm too grossed out to hear anything you have to say. Go home.
She stalks off. Riley shoots Spike a withering look, then follows. Spike yells after them.
It's blood! It's what I do!
Riley catches up with Buffy.
Hey, hope I didn't get in the way.
He puts his arm around her and she gives him an insincere smile.
Of course not. I was just... startled. And you know I don't love the idea of you patrolling alone.
Not much for bench-warming.
No, you made the squad. You threw that vampire like he was a... teeny-weeny little vampire.
Hey, want to go again? Come on, I bet this place is just teeming with aerodynamic vampires.
Nah. (beat) Unless you want to go back and kill Spike for the fun of it?
Riley smiles and they both head off into the night.
Spike stares after them.
I will know your blood, Slayer. I will make your neck my chalice and drink deep...
He turns to stride away purposefully but falls into an open grave.
Ow!
Opening credit sequence.
The building is filled with students milling around, talking, studying, etc. WILLOW and Buffy round the corner, coming from class.
You can't possibly be arguing that Marat didn't betray the French Revolutionaries. This was the guy who declared the Rights of Man and then the next thing you know he's killing Girondin like it's going out of style.
Will, you're totally missing my point. Now, I agree that Marat wasn't a real martyr but the death in the tub... the neck wound... all that blood... just a little more fangy than knifey. I mean, Charlotte Corday wasn't a real martyr either but--
Buffy!
Willow stops and grabs Buffy's hand, a huge smile on her face.
What?
Listen to us! We're arguing! We're having a debate about a college lecture. I have dreamt of this day since... forever! (proud) You are turning into quite the student. Should I be watching my occipital lobe?
Your what?
Occipital. The lobe in the back of your brain. You know, like "should I be watching my back?" But, you know, the... back of your brain.
Apparently not. Don't worry, Will. You still wear the smarty- pants in the family.
I don't know. You've been studying really a lot.
I'm trying. But they're really piling on the reading and Giles fills any free time I have with extra training. I'm starting to think this working hard is hard work.
Isn't it crazy like that?
I thought it was going to be like in the movies. You know, inspirational music, a montage, me sharpening my pencils, me reading, writing, falling asleep on a big pile of books with my glasses all crooked-- 'cause in my montage I have glasses-- but real life is slow and it's starting to hurt my occipital lobe.
Willow pats Buffy on the head.
Aww. Poor Buffy's brain.
Actually, I'm heading to training now. Do you want to come with?
I'm in. Maybe we can argue some more about the French Revolution. Hey! Wasn't that Robespierre the coolest?
Robespierre? You're kidding me, right?
I'm just gettin' it goin'.
XANDER uses a power saw to cut a piece of wood to size. GILES stands behind the counter, painting and touching up the walls. He shouts over the noise from the saw.
It seems the plans worked perfectly.
Xander stops the saw and unclamps the piece of wood from the vise.
Yes, blueprints, not a bad idea. That and getting straight "measure twice, cut once". You know, for the longest time I had it backward. Messy!
Xander fits the piece of wood into the bookcase he's building.
Well, I must say, I'm very impressed.
Yeah, carpentry is pretty cool.
At a knock on the door, Giles moves to answer it and we see TARA sitting at a reading table holding a deck of Tarot cards and ANYA stocking the shelves.
Oh! Who put the monkey heads near the Styx water? Do we want to pick exploded monkey out of our hair?
Giles opens the door to find Willow and Buffy standing there, smiling.
Trick or treat!
Hello, you two. Come on in.
Thank you, kind proprietor.
They enter and Tara looks up, smiling.
Hey, you.
Hey! Oh, wow, this place looks great. I feel like a witch in a magick shop. (re: table display) Oh, are these real newt eyes?
No, too rich for my blood, I'm afraid. No, these are salamander eyes. It's the cataracts which give them their newt-like appearance. They're really equally effective, though. It's just a matter of overcoming snobberies.
I'm telling you, Giles, you gotta set up a blind taste test and prove once and for all that generic amphibian eyeballs are just as good.
I don't know. If you ask me, the newt name still means something.
You ready to train?
You betcha.
Shall we then?
We shall then.
They both head toward the back of the store.
Willow sits at the table with Tara.
I just... keep thinking how cool it would be if we got a real psychic to sit up here and read fortunes and stuff.
You should do it.
Not me but I'd love to watch and learn from someone who's really good, you know?
You're really good. (holds out her hands) I'll prove it. Here, do me.
Tara nods and puts down the cards, taking one of Willow's hands in her own.
Hmm.
What do you see?
Willow hand.
They both smile lovingly at each other.
Giles opens the door to the back room and holds it for Buffy. She enters and looks around. She's suddenly tackled from the side and she falls to the floor on top of Riley, who has his arms around her waist.
Ow, Riley...
They get to their feet.
Just keeping you on your toes.
Or off them, as it were. What's gotten into--
She stops as she looks around the room and sees it for the first time.
Oh, my god. Look at this place!
The back room has been transformed into a completely outfitted workout facility. Free weights and Nautilus-type machines line the walls, a punching bag hangs from the ceiling, a pommel horse stands next to a sparring dummy. Various runic symbols are painted on the floor and walls.
Thank you! (to Giles) Thank you... so much.
It's just a start. You need a proper space to train so--
I love it.
So come on, let's test this puppy out. Think you can take me?
He throws a few fake punches at Buffy but she mostly ignores him, walking farther into the room, admiring it.
What's the matter, afraid of a little competition?
It must have been so much work.
I'm the dummy man. I mean, I made the dummy... the thing that you hit that doesn't hit back. That I made.
It's great. (to Giles) It's all great.
Well, you've earned it. Truly.
Thank you guys so much. You're like my... fairy godmother and Santa Claus and Q all wrapped up into one. (off Riley's look) Q from Bond, not Star Trek. I'm going to go change.
Pan across gravestones and underbrush, up the stairs and into the crypt.
Spike sits in a recliner, watching TV.
Oh, Pacey, you blind idiot. Can't you see she doesn't love you?
A sudden banging on the door and Spike jumps up and snaps off the TV. More banging and the door pops open to reveal HARMONY, disheveled and nervous. She shuts the door behind her and presses her back against the wall.
Well, well, well. Looky here.
Is it safe? Has Buffy gotten to you yet? I saw her patrolling just now... with a stake! She won't give up until she's killed me to death!
Buffy's looking for you?
Of course! That's why I'm on the lam. Didn't you hear? I'm totally her arch-nemesis!
Is that right? I must have missed the memo.
There was a mem-- (sighs) Spike, oh my god! This is like a real emergency! I need a hideout so bad. You're my only hope. We're just going to have to rise above our petty differences... listen, Spike, I'm desperate.
Desperate, are you?
Come on, Spike. Pretty please? I'll do anything!
Anything, will you?
Yeah! I said I'll do anything.
Spike raises his eyebrows.
Oh... you mean will I have sex with you? (shrugs) Well, yeah.
Spike grins as Harmony sits in his chair and takes out a cigarette. She begins flicking a lighter, trying to light it.
Taking up smoking, are you?
I am a villain, Spike. Hello!
She takes a drag and starts to cough violently.
I guess you are at that. What with the Slayer on your tail and all.
Harmony watches him warily.
She's not the type to give up, either. She'll hunt you down, day and night, till you're too tired and too hungry to run any more. And then? (grabs a handful of dust) Then... that is you. (beat) I guess you're going to have to kill her.
I tried! It was all hard and stuff! You do it.
I'd love to. But I can't. Remember? I've got this cute little government chip in my head.
Oh, right. Guess it'll have to be me after all. Can you help with the thinking?
Yeah. I suppose I could do that.
Harmony smiles and puts the cigarette to her lips again.
Buffy and Riley lie in bed, having just made love. Buffy sighs with contentment. Riley taps his hands nervously on his chest.
Mmm, that was relaxing.
She turns onto her side, drifting off as Riley looks over at her.
You... want to relax some more?
Again? Right away again?
Riley kisses her bare shoulder.
Maybe you're too tired...
Hey. I have the endurance of ten men.
Let's make it women, okay? Just for the imagery.
Whatever. You know, it takes a lot to wear me out.
Oh, I love a challenge.
Mmm...
Buffy turns onto her back and Riley moves on top of her. They kiss passionately.
DAWN pours a bowl full of Sugar Bombs into one of many cereal bowls on the table in front of her.
Well, wouldn't you? Every kid tries to make the substitute cry. It's like a rite of passage.
JOYCE turns from the stove where she's cooking breakfast.
I certainly would not. Being a substitute is an extremely difficult job. Besides... honestly, Dawn, how many bowls of cereal are you planning on eating?
Oh, these aren't for eating. I'm just trying to get the extra out of the way so I could get this.
She shoves her hand in cereal box, pulls out a toy and smiles cheerfully at Joyce.
Anyway, I want eggs.
You want the cereal prize but you don't want the cereal. You are growing up. All righty, half an omelet coming up.
She scoops the eggs onto two plates.
Oh, with ketchup if you please?
Mm-hmm.
Joyce turns away from the stove, holding the two plates and suddenly stops and blinks as if dizzy. Dawn looks up from unwrapping the prize.
Oh, what is the... who are you?
Joyce collapses to the floor and the plates shatter.
Dawn jumps up in alarm and backs away, hyperventilating. She picks up the phone and dials 911.
Double doors burst open and Buffy pushes through, followed by Riley. She finds Dawn sitting on a chair, fiddling with a stethoscope hung around her neck. Buffy rushes up to her and hugs her.
Hey. How's Mom? Are you okay?
I'm okay.
And your mom's doing just fine.
A young man in a white coat approaches. Buffy lets go of Dawn and stands up.
This is Ben. He gave me his stethoscope.
BEN holds out his hand to Buffy.
Lent you his stethoscope. Buffy, right? I'm Ben, I'm an intern here. I've had the pleasure of hanging out with the renowned Dr. Dawn here while your mom's being tested.
Buffy smiles and shakes his hand.
So what's going on? What happened?
Well, she's doing okay now. The doctors don't really know what caused the collapse.
Dawn puts the stethoscope's earpieces in her ears and taps the plate with her fingers. The adult's voices fade into b.g.; we can still hear them, but they're muffled as they would sound to Dawn.
It could've just been a dizzy spell, low blood sugar, that sort of thing.
But it's nothing bad? I mean, it's not... serious, right?
Very unlikely. So your mom doesn't have a history of fainting?
Dawn puts the stethoscope to Ben's chest and we hear a normal heartbeat.
No. I mean, not that I know of. She's usually really healthy.
Well, I think they'll be running tests for a few more hours.
Dawn puts the stethoscope to Buffy's chest and again, a normal heartbeat.
Then they'll probably want her to come back for some follow-up tests in a couple weeks but it really doesn't look like anything too serious.
Oh, thank god. I was freaking out.
I think you'll be able to take her home before too long.
Well, that is definitely good news.
Dawn puts the stethoscope to Riley's chest. Her eyes widen in shock at his heartbeat: it's rapid, thready and irregular.
Riley sits on the exam table buttoning up his shirt. The DOCTOR is obviously not pleased with Riley.
I know I'm repeating myself here but I don't know what else to say to convince you.
Buffy watches as the doctor writes on her clipboard.
I have never in all my years of medicine let a patient with tachycardia this severe leave a hospital.
You said you couldn't keep me.
Legally, no, I can't force you to do a thing.
Riley nods and resumes buttoning his shirt.
But with that pulse, believe me, I'd get on my knees and beg you if I thought I could change your mind.
You can't. I'm going home.
And your friend here can't convince you to--
Riley holds up a hand to stop her.
I'm going.
All right then, but you're leaving against my recommendation.
The doctor leaves the room. Riley looks at Buffy, then stands up.
What's going on? What are you doing? What if you have a heart attack?
Listen to me. Calm down.
Me calm down? I'm not the one with a pulse of a hundred and fifty.
My heart's different than yours, Buffy. It works differently now but it's okay.
But you're still a human, Riley. You could still have a heart attack.
I'm a human who was used as a lab rat for months.
They look up as Joyce and Dawn enter. Buffy hurries over to hug her mother.
Hi.
Hey. How are you?
Oh... embarrassed, mostly. I'm sorry to put you through this. But no more tests so you can take this pincushion home.
Yes. Let's get out of here.
He holds the door for Joyce and Dawn. Buffy gives him a concerned look, then heads out also.
Joyce lies on the sofa sipping from a mug with Buffy and Dawn sitting beside her. Willow hovers nearby.
What about a crossword? Some people say feed a cold. I say puzzle it.
Oh, no thanks, Willow.
I like chicken fingers with mustard when I'm sick.
I know you do, sweetie. I can make us some later.
Oh, uh-uh. You are sitting right here on this couch today.
I feel silly lying here like a lump!
You could make a game out of it. A very quiet game, about being a lump.
I feel fine. Honestly, I'm more concerned about Riley than I am about me.
You shouldn't even be thinking about that. He's not worried so I don't think we should be.
Buffy paces. Willow lies on the bed and Dawn sits on the floor.
I don't get what he's thinking. Why isn't he worried?
Maybe he thinks his body can handle it. He is in really good shape.
Nobody's body can handle a heart attack.
I know. I'm sorry, Buffy. I'm trying too hard to make it okay.
I just keep coming back to the Initiative.
It does have that icky government feel to it.
Did you know that one time the CIA tried to kill Fidel Castro with poisonous aspirin?
Dawn, please. (to Willow) I know I have to do something, I just don't know what.
Another time the CIA--
Dawn!
It's important.
Annoyed, Buffy nods for her to go on.
--tried to make Castro go crazy by putting itching powder in his beard. (off Buffy's pissed look) It's about the government!
Call the Initiative. If they know what's wrong with him, they have to help.
Yeah, but call them how? First of all, they don't exist any more and secondly, they never claimed to exist in the first place. (beat) It's so unfair. I mean, it's like Big Brother can spy on you all the time and the second I have something to say, no one will listen!
Sounds more like Big Sister.
There has to be a way.
Like what? Take a tour of the White House and pretend to get lost and look for some door with a sign on it that says "Secret Government Monster Hunters"?
If they're really spying on you all the time, you just say something so you know they'll hear you. (Buffy looks thoughtful) Like sometimes, I write fake things in my diary in case...
I gotta go. See you guys later.
She grabs her bag and leaves. Dawn looks over at Willow.
What'd I say?
Buffy enters Riley's room and calls out to him. It's dark.
Riley?
No answer. She walks in, closing the door behind her, and picks up the phone. A dial tone, interrupted by clicking sounds.
Riley's in trouble. He needs help.
She hangs up.
Riley plays basketball with a bunch of other guys and he beats them all with no problem. They shake their heads in amazement as the game ends.
No way, man.
I'm out.
He throws the ball to one of them and walks off. He passes a bench and glances at the guy sitting there. It's GRAHAM MILLER, Riley's former friend and Initiative squad member.
Graham.
Riley. Can we talk?
Riley takes a drink from a nearby water fountain as Graham stands up, gesturing at two men standing nearby in identical white button-down shirts.
Agent Goodman, Agent Brown.
Riley walks toward Graham.
So talk.
What's going on, man? (Riley shrugs) You gotta get this taken care of immediately. We gotta get you into an operating room.
Very convincing. Makes me completely want to put myself under government control.
Graham stares Riley down with the two other agents behind him. Riley holds out his hands, wrists together, inviting handcuffs.
Please take me where they can make me unconscious and naked.
Hey, you think I'd pull something on you?
You're still in. I'm out. I don't know what orders you're following.
Oh, come on. You know Walsh pumped all those chemicals and crap into us. You got more than anyone. She messed us up bad.
And now the government's knocking themselves out to kiss it and make it better.
Riley, I'm telling you, you need help. I'm not saying it to trick you.
Maybe you even believe it.
I know it. You don't want this.
You're sure you got the fix for it?
Yeah. We got a guy, a doctor. He's going to take care of you and we're going to him now. (Riley nods) I'm not giving you a choice.
I guess you're not.
He decks Graham as the other two agents seize his arms. He throws them off and pounds them into unconsciousness before running off.
Buffy talks with Graham amid a crowd of students. Graham's face shows a large dark bruise where Riley hit him.
So you messed up and now he's gone and when are you even going to tell me what's wrong with him?
I'm not permitted to say.
Say.
Hyperadrenal overload and a bunch of stuff that sounds even worse than that and all it means is he's way stronger than he ought to be and feeling no pain. His heart can't take it. We've been at him for weeks about it. There's a specialist waiting at Sunnydale General, fourth floor, Neurology. Get Riley there. If you don't--
I'll get him there.
I'll tell the doc.
Buffy walks off but Graham stops her.
Buffy...
If you tell me to hurry... I'll kick your ass.
Establishing.
Riley approaches the cave, hesitates a moment, then enters.
Willow and Tara sit at the reading table with Giles.
Poor Riley.
Could he have simply gone back to his apartment?
Pull back to reveal Buffy, Xander and Anya with them.
No, he's not at his apartment, he's not at the gym, he's not at the library... he's gone somewhere where he doesn't want to be found.
So basically he's gone AWOL.
Basically exactly.
Poor Buffy.
Maybe he just needs some time alone. Like I had this friend once who really liked this girl and... he got all worried that maybe she didn't like him back... and maybe that made him act like a total jerk. Maybe Riley reminds me of that friend.
Anya smiles.
What are you talking about?
Then again, maybe not. Maybe he just wants attention.
Well, here's a hot tip: if you want attention? Be there so people can give it to you.
I care about you, Xander.
Thanks.
Don't be insecure.
Thanks... I won't.
And I also have this "friend" and I have it on really good authority that she really likes that guy, your "friend"... and, by the by, my friend--
You guys, enough! Okay, Riley is in real danger here. Anya, Xander, why don't you guys check the docks.
Aye, aye.
They get up and head out.
Tara and I can scope out the burned-out school. Riley hid there once. Maybe he feels it's homey or something.
Homey. You know what else he might find homey in a dank, unpleasant, evil sort of way? The Initiative caves. I don't know them too well.
We do have an associate who knows those caves like the back of his... melanin-deprived hand.
I so don't want to deal with Spike right now. That guy is really starting to bug me in that special "I want to shove something wooden through his heart" kinda way.
He does seem extra twitchy lately. Maybe the whole not-killing is getting to him.
Plus hanging out all day in that moldy crypt, you just know he's doing something nasty.
Spike sits with Harmony in the crypt, bored.
Okay, is it bigger than a breadbox?
No. Four left.
So it's smaller than a breadbox?
No! Only three!
Harmony... is it a sodding breadbox?
Yes! Oh, my god! Someone's blondie-bear is a twenty-question genius!
A sudden banging on the door and Harmony's eyes go wide in fear.
She's found me!
She jumps up, runs over to the sepulchre and climbs into it. Spike slides the lid over the top, then sits on it, trying to look casual.
Buffy smashes the door open and strides in.
I've got a proposition for you.
Funny, I've got a proposition for you: what about knocking? Seems only fair since we vamps can't enter your flat without an invite. You could at least--
Buffy ignores him and pulls out a wad of cash.
Say, look at those pretty pieces of paper.
Riley's sick with some Initiative thing and he's missing. I think he might be in the caves. You find him, bring him to the fourth floor of the hospital, their doctors get to him in time... (re: money) you get the cash.
Oh, dear! Is the enormous hall monitor sick? Tell me, is he going to die?
Buffy slaps him across the face.
He is not the only person that can die.
Hey. I'm just saying, if it's really that important to you, I think I'll get half now.
Buffy looks at the money in her hand, then rips the bills in half, slams one half against Spike's chest and strides out.
Harmony pushes the lid aside and peeks out.
So? What'd she say about me?
The double-doors open and Graham walks through, down the corridor, past a security guard who nods at him. Graham goes through another set of double-doors and enters a lab.
DR. OVERHEISER, a slight, bookish man in a white lab coat, looks up as Graham enters.
Any word?
They'll be here any minute.
Overheiser looks down at a folder in his hand.
That's soon enough, right? I mean, if we bring him in now?
I'll be honest. I'm not sure it's soon enough if you brought him in yesterday.
A knock on the door and Graham turns.
Finally.
He opens the door to find the security guard standing there. The guard falls forward, his head hitting Graham's. Graham falls back and the guard falls on top of him. Harmony enters behind the dead guard and Overheiser looks over in alarm. Spike follows Harmony in, carrying a crossbow. He tosses it to Harmony, who catches it and points it at the doctor, letting the tip of the arrow touch his cheek.
You got yourself a new patient, doc.
Buffy finds the cave entrance that Riley entered earlier and walks inside.
The door opens and Spike enters, followed by Overheiser and Harmony with the crossbow pointed at the hapless doctor.
Look, you don't understand. This is a complicated neurological procedure and I've never performed it before.
They walk down the tiers of seats to the surgical bay. Spike takes off his jacket and sits on the operating table.
Little performance anxiety, eh doc? Butterflies in the old belly? Harm, do us a favor. Shoot the nasty butterflies for the good doctor.
Overheiser looks from Harmony to Spike and moves toward the operating table.
There you go. It's not so complicated. Just do whatever those Initiative lab monkeys did, only backward.
This is a medical school, not a proper operating facility. These instruments...
They look pointy enough. They'll do.
He lies back on the table with his hands behind his head.
You're not listening. That chip is deeply imbedded in your cerebral cortex. Removing it could leave you a vegetable.
That's not going to happen, mate. See, I have faith in your survival instinct.
He looks pointedly over at Harmony. Harmony smiles and lifts the crossbow.
Yeah. You'll have me up and killing before the night's over. (off his look) Come on, doc! You'll do me right. Nothing bad'll happen to you.
A bolt suddenly shoots across the room narrowly missing the doctor and buries itself in the wall next to him. Spike and Overheiser look at it, startled, then over at Harmony.
Oops. String was slippy.
Willow and Tara make their way through the rubble of the old high school.
Riley!
This place kinda creeps me out.
You should have been here when it was a school. Riley! Oof. Darkness.
Piles of it. We should have brought a flashlight.
Oh! I know!
She reaches into her bag and removes a small vial.
Better to light a candle than curse the damn darkness. A little spell. Fiat lux! (Let there be light!)
Willow throws the bottle to the ground. A gout of flame leaps up and the entire corridor is lit with a soft diffuse light.
Wow.
There, that's better.
Tara stares at her in amazement.
Riley! Come on out!
She begins to walk again and Tara follows, still staring at her in wonder.
How'd you do that? With the light?
Oh, you know. You taught me.
I taught you teeny Tinkerbell light.
Okay, so I... tinkered with the Tinkerbell. It was easy. And besides, isn't this better than using a flashlight like some kind of doofus?
Buffy holds her flashlight ahead of her, making her way through the caves.
Riley? Riley, answer me. (mutters) Please.
A repetitive thumping noise reaches her and she follows it.
Riley?
She rounds a corner and finds Riley repeatedly punching the rock wall. There's a large cavity in the wall; he's been punching for some time. He's shiny with sweat and looks tired and ill.
You know, this doesn't even hurt.
Your hand is bleeding.
Don't feel a thing.
He goes to punch the wall again but Buffy stops him.
This stops now. I'm taking you to the doctor.
The one from the government, you mean? Like the ones who did this to me in the first place?
He backs away from her.
He's the only one that understands what's wrong with you. He's the only one that can help.
What's wrong with me? I'm more powerful than I've ever been, Buffy. Most people would kill to feel this way.
Yeah, and this feeling is going to kill you. Riley, your body was not built for this kind of strength--
I can handle it. This is my deal, Buffy. Just... back off.
What is this? What's happening to you?
I go back, let the government get whimsical with my innards again, they could do anything that... best-case scenario, they turn me into Joe Normal. Just... just another guy.
And that's not enough for you?
It's not enough for you.
Why would you say that?
Come on. Your last boyfriend wasn't exactly a civilian.
So that's what this is about? You're going to die, all over some macho pissing contest.
It's not about him. It's about us. You're getting stronger every day, more powerful. I can't touch you. Every day, you're just... a little further out of my reach.
You want to touch me? I'm right here. I'm not the one running away.
Not yet.
So you have this all figured out? I'm bailing because you're not in the Super Club.
It's human nature.
Don't Psych 101 me. Not now. Not after everything that... nobody has ever known me the way you do. Nobody. I've opened up to you in ways that I've never opened up to... god, you're just sitting back there thinking that none of this means anything to me.
I never said that.
Tears stream down her cheeks now.
Because it obviously doesn't mean anything to you. Do you really think so little of me--
Buffy--
No! No. Do you think that I spent the last year with you because you had super powers? If that's what I wanted, then I'd be dating Spike. Riley, I need you. I need you with me... and I need you healthy. But if you want to throw it all away because you don't trust me, then... (firm) then I'm still going to make you go to that doctor.
Riley looks at her and sighs.
Take me to him.
Buffy nods.
We have to hurry.
She strides past him but he grabs her arm and turns her to face him.
Loving you is the scariest thing I've ever done, Buffy.
I don't know why.
She puts her hand over his heart.
The doctor said we didn't have much time.
Spike lies on the operating table. A sheet covers the top of his head and his eyes are closed. The doctor, wearing rubber surgical gloves, is working on Spike's head. Harmony stands behind Overheiser, looking over his shoulder.
I read in a magazine that some women think a man's real sex organ is his brain. Yecch! No contest. I mean, look at it. It's so... pink and wriggly-looking. Can I touch it?
Spike's eyes pop open.
SPIKE & DR. OVERHEISER
No!
Oh, my god, you're awake?
Local anesthetic.
Wow, Spikey, how does it feel?
Like someone's cutting into my brain with a knife, you silly bint.
You know what it means that he can't hurt any living thing? It means he can't even pick flowers.
What? Yes I can!
Please be quiet.
Everyone is quiet for a beat, then Harmony points at Spike's brain again.
Is it supposed to do that?
Please. For god's sake, please, be quiet.
Listen, buster. I don't see a crossbow in your hands, okay?
Harmony, if your incessant prattling bollixes up this operation, I'm going to personally yank out your pink and wriggly tongue.
Overheiser smirks at her in satisfaction.
What are you looking at?
Riley and Buffy come through the double-doors and find the security guard and Graham on the floor.
Uh-oh.
Buffy bends over the guard while Riley goes to Graham.
Graham. Graham!
Riley helps him sit up and holds up two fingers.
How many fingers I got?
Seventeen. (gasping) Hostile 17 and a blonde girl.
Spike and Harmony, together again.
Riley helps Graham stand up and they look around.
Where's Dr. Overheiser?
Spike must have taken him. What would Spike want with-- (realizes) The chip. He's going to force the doctor to remove the chip from his brain.
Riley suddenly bends over and puts his hands on his knees, panting. He's pale and sweaty.
Riley?
I'm okay. Okay.
We're running out of time. We don't find the medic soon, he's not going to make it.
Okay, okay... brain surgery. He's going to need a medical facility, he's going to need equipment...
This is a big hospital.
No, he wouldn't do it here. It's too risky. We'll split up. Graham, get on the horn or the... pipe or whatever you guys get on. I want you to check animal hospitals, doctors' offices...
Graham walks to the door and Riley stops him.
Hey, about before...
We're good. Apologize later if you're not dead.
He leaves and Riley looks at Buffy apprehensively.
You are not going to die.
Bet you say that to all the boys.
No. There is one peroxided pest whose number is up. When I get my hands on Spike, I'm going to rip his head off. I'm going to--
--bathe in the Slayer's blood. Gonna dive in it... swim in it.
Overheiser and Harmony crouch behind the sheet, staring at Spike's brain. Harmony smokes a cigarette.
I'm going to do the bloody backstroke.
Harmony exhales smoke, which drifts toward Spike's face. She begins to jump up and down.
I see it, Spikey! I see the chip! It's nestled in there like... a pretty little Easter egg with your brain all around it like that green plastic grassy stuff... only this is more a beige, like--
Would you please put out that cigarette? It's really not allowed.
Oh, yeah? Says who?
The doctor turns to look pointedly at the NO SMOKING sign on the wall.
Oh, god, sorry! Didn't see the sign!
As she turns away and stubs out her cigarette, Overheiser drops something into a dish with a metallic clinking noise.
The chip's out. Didn't think I could do it, I just... it's out.
Yeah?
Harmony jumps up and down and claps excitedly.
Yay! Yay for Spikey!
Right then. Stitch me up, doc. Got places to go. And Slayers to kill.
Harmony holds the crossbow on the doctor. Spike sits up while the doctor puts a few last stitches in his head.
Listen to me. My stomach's growling, I'm so starved. I'm afraid I'm going to have to have me a little snack. (off Overheiser's terrified look) Oh, don't worry. I won't fill up on the bread. I'll still have plenty of room for the main course.
The door opens and Buffy strides in, followed by Riley.
Slayer!
He jumps off the table and Harmony moves to stand beside him, holding the crossbow. Buffy and Riley stand side-by-side. Faceoff. The doctor tries to sidle toward the door.
Spike's face morphs and his fangs descend.
Suit up, Harm.
Harmony follows does the same.
Buffy grabs Overheiser and pushes him to the floor.
Stay here. We're going to need you.
Buffy. I swear I was just thinking of you. I wanted to tell you the great news. My head's all clear now. No more bug-zapper in my noggin.
That means I get to kill you.
You get to try.
The standoff continues. Suddenly the crossbow goes off and the bolt impales Riley's leg. Riley doesn't even flinch.
Oops.
Riley charges her and rips the crossbow out of her hands as Buffy decks Spike.
Riley picks Harmony up and throws her down on the operating table, then up against a wall full of surgical equipment.
Buffy lands several more blows on Spike, forcing him back against the operating table.
Riley punches Harmony and throws her across the room, then braces himself against the counter, panting. He turns as Harmony shoves a chair toward him. He trips over it and goes down as Harmony kicks him in the face.
Spike jumps up onto the operating table and grins fiercely down at Buffy.
At long last.
He leaps on top of Buffy, driving her to the ground and landing on top of her. He pins her arms and lowers his fangs to the soft flesh of her neck. Buffy struggles desperately.
Spike suddenly screams in pain and jerks backward. Buffy punches him, then shoves him off her. He lands next to the doctor and glares angrily at him.
Riley punches Harmony in the face and she kicks him away. He starts toward her again but stops, grabbing his chest and groaning in pain.
Riley!
Riley stumbles against a metal table and falls down, pulling it over on top of him. Harmony looks at her fist in surprise, then runs off.
Buffy crawls over to Riley and puts her hands on his chest.
Riley...
Spike gets up and opens the container where the doctor deposited his chip. He takes out a penny.
A penny?
I told you I couldn't do it.
Oh, god. Doctor! Doctor, we need you now!
Spike and Harmony make their escape as Overheiser lifts the table off Riley. Buffy and the doctor lift Riley up to a sitting position.
Spike and Harmony dash between the trees and headstones.
Buffy, Buffy, Buffy! Everywhere I turn, she's there! That nasty little face, that bouncing, shampoo-commercial hair, that whole sodding holier-than-thou attitude.
Well, aren't we kinda unholy, by the--
She follows me, you know, tracks me down. I'm her pet project. Drive Spike round the bend. Makes every day a fresh bout of torture.
He stops running, picks up a headstone, and shatters it in a fit of rage. Harmony cringes as the dust showers her.
Spike!
You don't understand. I can't get rid of her. She's everywhere. She's haunting me, Harmony! (beat) This... has got to end.
Riley lies on the operating table; the doctor bandages his chest. Buffy enters.
All patched up.
Riley sits up, picks up his shirt and begins to put it on. Buffy lightly touches the bandage on his chest.
How's it goin' in there?
Good. Back to normal.
Buffy leans her head against his chest to listen to his heartbeat.
Yep.
He strokes her hair and she leans back and takes his bruised hand in hers, pulling his hand to her heart.
And see... I'm still touchable.
Give me a week or so to heal and I'll take full advantage of that fact.
Buffy smiles, still holding his hand
Are you going to be okay? 'Cause I should really go check on my mom.
Yeah. Yeah, go ahead. I'll be fine.
I'll talk to you later.
He nods. She kisses him softly, then turns away.
Riley and Graham walk down the corridor together. Riley has a noticeable limp and Graham's face is still bruised.
It's a good thing Buffy found you when she did, 'cause you were about to detonate big-time. Always said she was pretty impressive.
You know, she really is.
But you know you don't belong here, right? This town? I mean, you're nothing here.
Hey. What are you saying?
Come on, man. You know it's true. There's nothing for you here.
There's her.
Okay, right, there's her. And? You used to have a mission and now you're what? The mission's boyfriend? Mission's true love?
Riley looks down, then walks off. Graham calls after him.
You belong with us.
Riley just keeps walking.
Spike sleeps in his chair. He starts awake at the sound of a tremendous banging on the crypt door. He opens his eyes and stands up as the door smashes open and Buffy strides in.
Should have known it's you. Been nearly six hours.
Well, it would've been less if I wasn't busy cleaning up your mess.
My mess? I just borrowed the doc. The mess is yours, Slayer. Yours and the boy's.
I'm done.
She takes a stake from her back pocket and walks toward Spike.
Spike, you're a killer. And I should have done this years ago.
Spike looks her in the eye.
You know what? Do it. Bloody just do it.
What?
End... my... torment. Seeing you, every day, everywhere I go, every time I turn around. Take me out of a world that has you in it!
He yanks off his shirt and throws it aside.
Just kill me!
Buffy stares at him for a moment, then raises her stake and lunges. Spike braces himself for the death blow but she checks herself at the last instant. They stare into each other's eyes.
Suddenly, Spike grabs Buffy by the arms and kisses her passionately. Buffy pulls back with a look of shock, bringing her hand to her mouth, confused. She stares at Spike and he stares back, both panting heavily.
Buffy drops her hand from her mouth and approaches Spike again. She pulls his head down toward her and they kiss again, very passionate. Spike wraps his arms around her, kissing her cheek and neck.
Spike... I want you.
Buffy, I love you. God, I love you so much.
Spike sits up in bed with a gasp of fright. Harmony sleeps soundly in bed next to him. His encounter with Buffy was just a dream. The implications of the dream hit him and his eyes go wide.
Oh, god, no. Please, no...