[Transcript of "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" episode Crush at buffyology.com.]
Fade in on a large sign reading "Grand Re-Opening". Pan across to a neon sign with the Bronze's futuristic new logo.
The Bronze has been extensively remodeled in the wake of Olaf the troll's rampage. It is less gothic/industrial and more modern. The place is filled with people dancing, talking, etc. WILLOW and TARA dance to a live band next to XANDER and ANYA.
Pan over to BUFFY sitting off to the side by herself, looking pensive. She looks up as SPIKE sits down beside her.
Bleedin' crime, is what it is.
Instead of his usual black leather coat and pants combination, he's decked out like a yuppie: khaki pants, a button-down shirt and a shiny brown leather jacket.
Jackin' up the bar price to pay for fixin' up this sinkhole. Not my fault insurance doesn't cover "act of troll".
Gee, maybe it's time you found a new place to patronize.
I've half a mind to! Especially since the flowering onion got remodeled off the sodding menu. It's the only thing this place had going for it.
What are you doing?
What do you mean what am I--
Here? At this table? Talking to me? Like we're some kind of talking buddies.
Well, I saw you sitting here alone. Thought, I don't know, you could maybe do with a bit of, you know, company.
Buffy shoots him an incredulous look.
Suit yourself!
He gets up to leave, then stops and turns back.
Although...
He sits back down as Buffy rolls her eyes in exasperation.
It's just... we took on that Glory chippie together. I was right there with you, fightin' the fight.
Actually, you were sleeping the sleep of the knocked unconscious.
Still, points for intent. (off her look) You'd think that would be enough to cut me a sliver of slack. Earn a little consideration... respect.
The song ends and Xander and Anya walk over.
Hey, Evil Dead, you're in my seat.
Spike looks up at him and sighs.
Bugger it.
He reaches down to the table for his beer bottle, knocks it over accidentally, grabs it and gets up. Buffy watches him go, perplexed, as Xander and Anya sit down.
Xander, I think you may have hurt his feelings.
And you should never hurt the feelings of a brutal killer. (considers) You know, that's actually some pretty good advice.
Willow and Tara sit down as well.
So who's up for some more liquid refreshments? I'm buying for I am Payday Man.
Willow takes out a bottle of aspirin.
I could use a water.
Water poses no challenge for Payday Man for I have...
He looks down at the table where his money was. Only a couple of coins remain.
Hey, where's my change?
Buffy looks at the tray, scowls, then glances over at the bar where Spike is buying another beer.
Spike, you diabolical fiend.
Xander goes over to confront Spike as Buffy turns to Tara and Willow.
Poor Will. Still getting those headaches?
Fewer and further between but... yep, they're still exercising their visitation rights.
Honey, in case you didn't hear me the first six thousand times, no more teleportation spells.
Well, it's just we have squat in the way of Glory-fighting arsenal and another run-in with her and my headaches and nosebleeds are going to be the least of our problems.
You know what? This is the first R&R I've had in weeks. How about we go one night without saying the name Glory.
Everyone nods in agreement.
I'm down with that. Let's just call She Who Will Not Be Named another name. Let's just call her--
Ben!
Buffy spots BEN sitting on a sofa across the room, chatting with a couple of guys.
For example.
I'll be right back.
Buffy gets up and heads over to Ben.
Ben! Hey!
He looks up and smiles.
Buffy... hi.
I barely recognized you without your hospital scrubs.
Oh, you'd be surprised the extent of my wardrobe.
Really?
I actually have entire outfits that aren't blue pajamas.
My sister told me what happened at the hospital before I got there.
Uh huh...
And I just wanted to say... thanks. (off his confused look) For looking after her?
Ben smiles, relieved.
That's okay. I'm glad Dawn's all right.
Spike and Xander by the bar.
The point is, I work hard for that money.
And you're saying I didn't?
You stole it.
And you're making it into very hard work!
Listen, Bleach Boy, I don't have a chip in my head. I can do far more damage to you than you can ever do to me.
Spike isn't listening anymore. He notices Buffy chatting with Ben and stares at them intently.
Yeah? Like you could ever hurt me.
The TRAIN PORTER leans against a fence reading a Spiderman comic as a passenger train approaches. The horn blows plaintively as it slowly grinds to a stop.
The porter straightens up, waiting for the passengers to disembark.
A long beat. No one appears.
The porter frowns, walks over to the door of the train and calls inside.
Sunnydale Station! Last stop this line.
Nothing. He looks around. The platform is empty.
The porter enters the car and his jaw drops in shock. All the passengers are dead. Their bodies are strewn throughout the car, savaged and covered in blood.
The porter gasps in horror, then whirls at the sound of footsteps. His eyes go wide with terror.
Oh, god! Oh, please! Help me! Somebody please! Help me!
He runs through the car, trying to escape through the exit door.
The porter runs down the stairway, almost out of the train of death, when he's suddenly yanked back inside, screaming for his life.
Opening credit sequence.
GILES, JOYCE and DAWN look up as the front door opens and Buffy enters.
Buffy?
I'm back by popular demand.
Did you have a nice time?
You know, I think I did. Much-needed fun, apart from Willow's headaches and Spike's cameo appearance.
Dawn perks up at the mention of Spike's name.
Spike was there?
Unfortunately.
Well, I'm relieved that you're home because, to be honest, I wasn't feeling all that safe with you gone.
Giles looks slightly hurt. Buffy shoots a glance from her mother to Giles and back.
At first. And then I remembered that Rupert was here and I felt much, much safer.
Yes, well, thank you for the little backpedal but I'm forced to agree that I'm barely an adequate substitute for a Slayer in the house.
He gets up and puts on his coat, heading for the door.
Good night.
Good night.
Buffy gets up and follows Giles to the front door.
So how is Dawn?
She's coping very well. Extremely well, really, considering the extraordinary circumstances of her origin.
Then let me ask you something. We've been going easy on her the last week... letting things slide...
Oh, I don't think that's at all wise.
You don't?
No. The best thing you can do now is behave exactly as you always have. Any special treatment at this stage is likely to undermine Dawn's sense of normality.
You think so?
Absolutely.
Thanks. (to Dawn; yells) Dawn!
Dawn bolts to her feet as if scalded by hot water.
What!
What did I tell you about borrowing my clothing?
I didn't take your clothes.
Bull!
I never touched your stuff.
Really. Then what happened to my blue cashmere sweater?
Spike sits in his crypt, fondling Buffy's blue cashmere sweater. HARMONY's voice comes from the shadows. She appears wearing a silk negligee and Spike dumps the sweater behind him.
Spikey... aren't you coming to bed?
I'm not tired.
Me neither.
She slides onto Spike's lap, giving him an excellent view of her cleavage. He looks away, annoyed.
Don't you want to come in and... tire me out?
She kisses his ear and nuzzles him.
Harm... really not in the mood right now.
You're never in the mood! We could do something different tonight.
Like what? You'll stop yammering for two seconds?
Well, we could... I don't know... maybe play a game?
Spike's interest is piqued. He looks at her, thoughtful.
Later. Harmony jumps out of the shadows, wearing Buffy's blue sweater and a pair of tight brown leather pants, holding a stake. She stalks dramatically around the crypt, peering into the darkness.
Oh, I'm going to stake you! I'm coming after you, you bad, evil vampire and I'm going to slay you! I'm sneaking up and I'm going to stake you so much with my slaying powers that I have because I'm the Chosen--
She shrieks as a shirtless Spike grabs her around the waist, growling and pulling her to the ground.
Oh, Spike!
Tara, Buffy and Willow walk through the hallway, having just come from class.
I just don't see why he couldn't end up with Esmerelda. They could have the wedding right there, beneath the very bell-tower where he labored thanklessly for all those years.
No, see it can't end like that 'cause all of Quasimodo's actions were selfishly motivated. He had no moral compass, no understanding of right. Everything he did, he did out of love for a woman who would never be able to love him back. Also, you can tell it's not going to have a happy ending when the main guy's all bumpy.
Willow takes some money out of her purse and hands it to Tara, who smiles and turns to the vending machine and buys a snack.
What did you think, Buffy?
The test isn't till tomorrow, right? (shrugs) I don't have an opinion till then.
But you read it, right?
Kinda not. I rented the movie.
Oh, with Charles Laughton?
I don't know. Was he one of the singing gargoyles?
Oh, boy.
What? I'm kidding!
As they pass a guy reading a newspaper, the headline captures Buffy's attention. She snatches it from his hands.
You're done with this?
Yeah, hi... kind of reading that?
Buffy ignores him, taking the paper over to Willow and Tara, staring at the front page.
Six Found Murdered on Train at Sunnydale Station.
"Six found murdered on train at Sunnydale Station."
Glory?
Buffy shakes her head.
"Unconfirmed reports of severe trauma to the throats of one or more of the victims." Survey says... vampire.
Spike climbs out of the mausoleum's lower level.
CU on a pair of female legs standing before him as his head emerges from below. He reaches the top of the stairs, sees her and reacts in surprise.
Oh, it's you. What are you doing here lurking about?
He slides the trapdoor over the hole in the floor. Reveal Dawn smiling down at him.
I'm not lurking. I'm looking. What are you doing?
Nothing.
So is that how you get around town in the daytime? I mean, does that lead into the sewers or something? Can you show me?
No! Why are you--? (beat) Does Buffy know you're here?
Yeah, right. 'Cause nothing would make her happier than to find out I'm hanging out after school in the vampire's lair. Especially yours.
Go home, then.
I don't feel like it right now.
Well, you can't bloody well stay here.
Why not?
Because I've got things to do.
Dawn looks at him skeptically. Spike approaches her and she tries to stifle a grin.
Bad, evil things! That are not for a child's eyes.
I'm not a child. I'm not even human. Not originally.
Yeah, well, originally I was. I got over it. Doesn't seem to me it matters very much how you start out.
That's smart. I get that. (beat) I like how you talk to me like I can understand things. Everyone else is being all... twitchy and secretive.
They're just trying to keep you safe, I expect.
I feel safe with you.
Spike chokes on his cigarette smoke in horror.
Take that back!
I mean, you have that whole... superpower thing and... you're just as tough as Buffy is, maybe tougher. Buffy thinks so, too.
She does?
Well, she's always worried about what she's going to do if you ever get that chip out of your head.
Is that right? So... what else does Buffy say about me?
Buffy walks in lugging an armful of books.
Hey!
Dawn?
No, it's me.
Buffy puts her books down as her mother emerges from the kitchen.
Is Dawn with you?
Isn't she here?
No, she didn't come home from school today. (anxious) Oh, Buffy, the news said something about people murdered--
It's not Glory. It has nothing to do with Dawn, I promise. Look, she probably... I'll find her.
Buffy turns abruptly and leaves.
Spike and Dawn sit on the concrete crypt, facing each other, with a lantern between them providing light.
And the lady just invited you in?
Well, I had hubby by the throat, didn't I? Promised her he'd live if she gave me the invite.
And did you? Let him live?
What do you think?
Huh.
Too much for you?
No! Keep going.
And I kill 'em. Right quick, the whole lot but... there's someone missing. Supposed to be this little girl. So I get real quiet and I hear this tiny noise coming from the coal bin. This little sigh. So I listened harder... it's very, very quiet...
Dawn is hanging on every word.
Suddenly the mausoleum's door bangs open with a crash. Dawn gasps with fright as Spike looks over to find Buffy striding toward him.
Oh... bloody hell.
Spike, I need your help, Dawn is-- here.
She looks from Dawn to Spike, confused.
Spike was just telling a story and he was just at this really cool part--
What the hell is this? What is she doing here?
Just hanging out.
Here?
Can you please let him finish the story? Then you could do the lecture.
Buffy scowls, clearly unhappy but relents and turns to Spike.
Yeah. Okay. Let's hear the story that Spike is telling my little sister.
Right. Yeah. So I knew the girl was in the coal bin. So I rip it open-- very violent-- haul her out of there... and then I give her to a good family in a nice home where they're never ever mean to her and didn't lock her in the coal bin.
What? That's so lame!
I was just about to send her home. I knew you'd be frettin'.
Dawn, get your stuff. We're getting out of here.
Buffy and Dawn walk through the graveyard on their way home.
Why doesn't that register with you? Crypt + vampire = bad.
Because it was Spike!
Hanging out with Spike is not cool, Dawn. Okay? It is dangerous and... icky.
Dawn smiles bashfully.
I don't think Spike's icky.
Yeah, well, think again, sister--
Buffy notices Dawn's expression and stops, folding her arms across her chest.
You have a crush on him.
No, I don't! It's just... (giggles) he's got cool hair and he wears cool leather coats and stuff. (beat) And he doesn't treat me like an alien.
He's a killer, Dawn. You cannot have a crush on something that is... dead and evil and a vampire.
Right, that's why you were never with Angel for three years.
Angel's different. He has a soul.
Spike has a chip. Same diff.
I can't listen to this! Spike is a monster, okay? And plus, you are only fourteen years old.
I like hanging out with him is all. And even if I did have a crush, he wouldn't notice in a million years. Not with you around.
What does that mean?
Spike's totally into you.
Buffy is stunned speechless.
Oh, come on. You didn't notice? Buffy, Spike is completely in love with you.
Buffy just stares at Dawn, thunderstruck. It's all she can do to make her mouth work.
Huh?
Fade in on yellow crime scene tape stretched across the doorway of the train. Buffy and Xander approach and Buffy rips the tape off the door.
So tell me again what we're looking for?
Clues.
O-kay.
Buffy and Xander enter the train. Tape outlines on the seats mark where the victims were found.
Could you give me a clue about what kind of clues?
Something. Anything. Just want to know this was a vamp attack. If it was, how many we're talking about.
Xander shines a flashlight around the dim interior.
Well, Sunnydale's finest didn't leave us a lot of stuff to examine... who knows how many people have traipsed through here.
Buffy is distracted, thinking about something else.
Xander?
What?
Buffy starts to speak, then stops.
Never mind.
She goes back to examining the train, then turns back.
It's just that... Dawn... said that...
Yeah?
Forget it.
Buffy!
She thinks that... she said that... Spike's in love with me.
Xander stares at her a second, then bursts out laughing.
I'm not joking.
Oh, I hope not. It's funnier if it's true.
I'm serious. Xander, this is serious!
All right...
He calms down but after a moment he snickers and begins laughing again. Buffy pouts and sits down on one of the seats, her body conforming perfectly to the tape outline of one of the victims.
It's creepy.
No. Not creepy. 'Cause it's not real! I mean, how upset can you really get over one of Spike's fevered daydreams that's not going to happen?
I guess.
So where did Dawn... how did she come to this extremely entertaining conclusion?
She was hanging out with Spike. I think she has a crush on him.
Now it's Xander's turn to react in dismay.
What?
I mean, I always knew that he had this... weird fixation with me.
I'm the one she has a crush on! Me!
Buffy's not even paying attention to Xander anymore.
There's nothing here. Let's go.
Xander follows her out, protesting as he goes.
It's always been me! Big funny Xander! Oh, what? She just suddenly decides I'm not the cool one any more? Why is that okay?
When Buffy and Xander are gone, pan up to the overhead luggage rack to reveal Miss Edith: an antique doll with a red blindfold tied around its eyes.
Buffy walks through the front door and heads down the hall toward the kitchen. She can hear her mother's voice.
But what they didn't get was that it was a copy of the bill of lading...
Buffy enters to find Joyce talking with Dawn and Spike, laughing and joking as if he were a neighbor who just dropped by for a chat.
So they thought that it was another order form so now I've got two shipments of Greek amphorū on my hands!
That's funny. And really, how many do you need, amphorū?
Buffy just stands there, fuming at Spike's presence. Joyce finally notices her.
Oh, Buffy. Spike came by to apologize for yesterday. Our missing-child drama.
And he just decided to... hang out for a while?
Oh, well, I got to talking about the gallery. See, there was this--
Oh, don't get us all laughing again, Joyce. Anyhow, I really need to talk to your eldest.
What about?
Spike moves past Buffy into the hallway. She turns to follow him, suspicious.
I got a bit of info you might be keen on knowin'.
Sorry, all out of cash. Why don't you hit on Giles-- hit up Giles.
I got a bead on the guy who killed those people. The ones on the train.
Do tell.
I'll do better than that. I'll show.
Buffy doesn't budge. Spike frowns.
What's the matter?
Nothing. Just...
Two vamps, holed up in a warehouse downtown. Come on, what are you waiting for? Grab your coat and your pointy sticks.
Buffy reluctantly agrees and goes to get her things.
Spike and Buffy sit in the car, watching a warehouse. Spike looks over at Buffy. She gives him a sharp stare and he looks away. Buffy frowns at him, suspicious and nervous.
Spike suddenly reaches toward her and Buffy flinches back in her seat.
Hey!
But to her relief, he merely opens the glove compartment and takes out a flask. He takes a swig and then offers it to her.
Eww.
It's not blood, it's bourbon.
Eeeww.
Suit yourself.
He puts the flask back, sits back and sighs, then begins to hum, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.
I want to be sedated... (to Buffy) Do you like the Ramones?
So if you're not doing this for the money, why are y--
Shhh!
He points across the street as two shadowy figures head for an old warehouse. They pause for a moment, then duck inside.
Spike and Buffy get out of the car.
The two vampires sit on an old ratty sofa. One makes popcorn over a small lantern, the other looks through a pile of CDs as Buffy and Spike enter. The vampires bolt to their feet and confront her.
The Slayer!
They hesitate a minute, then turn tail and run off into the darkened warehouse.
Well, that was sad. I'm embarrassed for our kind. (beat) So... should we chase after them, then? They couldn't have gone far.
Buffy stares at the furniture and odds-n-ends strewn about.
These vamps have been here for a while. They've nested.
So... you're saying they're a couple of poofters?
No. I'm saying they had nothing to do with last night's murders.
How do you figure?
Whoever did it only arrived in town last night. Looks like you've wasted my time.
She turns to leave and Spike hurries after her, bolting in front of her to open the door for her. Buffy stops and turns to Spike with a frown.
What are you doing?
I was... (scoffs) I wasn't thinking.
What is this?
He slams the door shut.
Oh, come on-- don't get your knickers twisted. I was--
What... is... this? The late-night stakeout, the bogus suspects, the flask? Is this a date?
A da-- please! A date? You are completely off your bird! I mean... do you want it to be?
Buffy groans in disgust.
Oh, my god... oh... oh, no. Are you out of your mind?
It's not so unusual. Two people in the workplace... feelings develop.
No! No, feelings do not develop. No feelings.
You can't deny it. There's something between us.
Loathing. Disgust.
Heat. Desire.
Please! Spike, you're a vampire.
Angel was a vampire.
Angel was good!
And I can be, too. I've changed, Buffy.
What? That chip in your head? That's not change. That's just holding you back. You're like a serial killer in prison!
Women marry 'em all the time!
Ugh!
But I'm not like that. Something's happening to me. I can't stop thinking about you. And if that means turning my back on the whole evil thing--
You don't know what you mean! You don't know what feelings are!
I damn well do! I lie awake every night!
You sleep during the day!
Yeah, but... you are missing the point. This is real here. I love--
Don't! Don't say it. (beat) I'm going.
She starts to head out.
Oh, come on. We need to talk--
We don't need to do anything! Okay, there is no "we"! Understand?
Buffy...
She leaves without another word.
Spike arrives back at his crypt, dejected. He pauses when he hears a furtive sound in the darkness and looks around suspiciously.
Who's there?
He turns as DRUSILLA melts out of the shadows and smiles at him, a maniacal glint in her eye. She holds a single red rose clasped to her breast.
A happy memory, pretty Spike. Look who's come to make everything right again.
Spike stares at her in amazement.
Resume. Spike reels from Drusilla's story of her recent adventures with Angel in Los Angeles.
So let me get this straight. Darla got mojo'd back from the beyond, you vamped her... and now she and you are working on turning Angel into his old bad self again.
Mm-hmm.
Sounds fun.
It is. Like lollipops at the circus. Although... didn't care for Angelus setting us on fire.
She touches her cheek and chest where the burns have not yet completely healed.
And this has got you what? All nostalgic now, has it?
I want us to be a family again, my William.
She walks up close to him and puts her mouth next to his ear.
Come back with me.
To Los Angeles? (she nods) I've done the whole L.A. scene, Dru. Didn't agree with me. Besides, I've got a sweet little setup here in Sunny-D. Decent digs... not to mention all the tasty townies I can eat.
Drusilla rubs one finger against the other in a scolding gesture.
Naughty! Shhh. You needn't make up stories. I already know why you're not coming. Poor boy. Tin soldiers put funny little knick-knacks in your brain. Can't hunt! Can't hurt! Can't kill!
She punctuates her words by jerking her head sideways as if being zapped with electricity.
You've got a chip.
Right, so you've heard. Poor Spike's become a cautionary tale for vampires, right? "You better be good, kiddies, or else they might wire you up someday!"
He kicks a box across the room.
I don't believe in science. All those bits and molecules no one's ever seen. I trust eyes and heart alone. And do you know what mine is singing out right now?
She takes Spike's hand and puts it over her heart.
You're a killer. Born to slash... and bash... and oh! Bleed like beautiful poetry. No little tinker-toy could ever stop you from flowing.
Spike is caught under her spell.
Yeah...
Suddenly he shakes his head and comes to his senses.
But the pain. Love, you don't understand. It's searing. It's blinding.
She puts her hand on the top of his head and pulls it down toward her.
All in your head. I can see it. Little bit of plastic, spider-webbing out nasty blue shocks. And every one is a lie. Electricity lies, Spike. It tells you you're not a bad dog... but you are.
She runs her hands around his head and then across his face, lifting it to her. Spike growls in pleasure as they gaze into each other's eyes.
The moment is broken by Harmony's sudden intrusion.
What the heck is this?
Oh, bloody hell.
Who is-- oh, wait. I get it. Our little sex game was just the beginning. Now you've gone and picked up some cheap Queen of the Damned to dress up like your precious Drood-zilla.
Harm...
You'd better not be thinking what I think you're thinking. 'Cause my answer is the same as always. No threesomes unless it's boy, boy, girl. (beat) Or Charlize Theron.
Harm, you moron, this is Drusilla.
Drusilla watches this drama with an impish smile. Harmony is a bit thrown when she realizes the master vampire herself is standing before her.
Oh. Well, you've got some nerve showing up here like this after all this time. After breaking my sweet boo-boo's heart.
Drusilla looks over Harmony's shoulder at Spike and mouths the word "boo- boo". Spike shrugs.
Do you have any idea how hard it's been to break down the walls he put up after you left? I mean, serious trust issues.
Harm...
So it's no use you crawling back to him, 'cause Spikey don't play that game any more, Morticia.
Drusilla smiles and raises her hand, dismissing Harmony. Frustrated, Harmony turns back to Spike only to gasp as he seizes her by the throat.
It's been fun while it lasted, Harm, but I think it'd be best now if you hit the road.
He hurls Harmony across the room. She hits the cement wall and crumples to the floor, clutching her throat in pain. She looks up at Spike, wounded.
Why? Because she's back?
No. (beat) Because I am.
Drusilla smiles as Spike wraps his arm around her waist and pulls her against him.
And there you are, my darling, deadly boy.
Their lips meet in a passionate kiss.
Joyce and Willow listen to Buffy recount her Spike problem.
Well, he... he actually told you? He said, "I love you"?
Well, I didn't let him get that far but... I could see the words coming.
Honey, did you... somehow-- unintentionally-- lead him on in any way? Send him signals?
Well, I do beat him up a lot. For Spike that's like third base.
Buffy, I'm really worried.
So am I. He could become dangerous.
Not really. As long as it's still chips ahoy in Spike's head, he can't hurt me or any of us. Besides, this'll probably just blow over. You know? It's just some weird Spike thing. He'll have the hots for some Gak demon before we know it.
I don't know. These things can become pretty twisted.
Yeah, and Spike... I mean, he's--
Pretty twisted.
Yeah.
Well, you made it clear, right? That it could never happen. That there's no possible way. Ever.
Yeah! (beat) I think so. I don't know... I was just so thrown.
Well, Buffy, you have to talk to him again.
What? No! No, I have to avoid him again.
Not until you shut him down completely. If he thinks there's even a little chance with you, there's no telling what he'll do.
People are dancing to a live band as Spike and Drusilla enter, arm in arm. Spike is back in his long black leather coat and matching black pants and shirt. He scoops up a glass of wine from the tray of a passing waitress. Drusilla removes her coat and Spike leads her onto the dance floor. They dance, very slow and sensual.
Drusilla looks up and points out a couple on the balcony above kissing passionately. Spike smiles wickedly and he and Drusilla begin to make their way up to the couple.
Joyce takes Buffy's coat off a hook and hands it to her.
I know this is hard, honey, but I think you made the right decision. Better to nip this in the bud before--
The bud nips me?
Exactly.
If you want, Buffy, I can go with. Back you up with some scowling.
Thanks, but I think this is something I have to do myself. Besides, you know, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe this whole thing's just been blown way out of proportion and he's already gone back to wanting me dead.
Willow crosses her fingers.
Here's hoping!
You know what, though? There is one thing you can do for me while I'm gone.
Spike and Drusilla climb the stairs, hand in hand, and approach the kissing couple. Drusilla's face is demonic, her fangs glistening in the flashing lights of the dance club.
She approaches the couple and, in one fluid motion, takes the girl by the head and wrenches it violently sideways, snapping her neck and killing her instantly. She hands the dead girl to Spike who catches her as the girl's boyfriend gasps in horror.
Before he can react, Drusilla seizes him, yanks his head sideways, exposing his neck, and buries her fangs in his flesh.
Spike holds the dead girl, her head lolling back, neck exposed. He stares at it hungrily. He looks over at Drusilla, who raises her head from the boy to look at Spike. She smiles, blood dripping from her fangs.
Spike closes his eyes, then looks down at the girl again as his face shifts and his teeth descend. With a throaty growl he tears into the dead girl's neck and drinks deeply.
Drusilla watches with satisfaction, then turns back to her meal.
The door opens and Buffy peers in warily.
Spike... are you here? Spike?
Nothing. She sighs, then looks down at the floor, spotting the trap-door. She crouches down and moves it aside, looking down into the hole.
Buffy climbs down the ladder and emerges into an underground cave. A torch burns on the wall illuminating a pile of human skulls at the foot of the ladder. Buffy takes down the torch and looks around, finding a couple of opened caskets and more moldering corpses.
A sheet covers one wall and Buffy pulls it down, revealing a mannequin with a blonde wig wearing her blue sweater. As the sheet falls to the ground, it also reveals a Buffy Shrine: a massive collage made up of hundreds of pictures of her, some taken, some drawn.
Shaken, Buffy climbs back up the ladder and looks up, startled to find Spike squatting beside the trapdoor, waiting for her. Blood stains his mouth.
See anything interesting?
Spike. I... what... what happened?
Me.
Buffy spins to find Drusilla standing behind her. She shoves the business end of a cattle prod against Buffy's chest and pulls the trigger. Buffy drops to the floor with a grunt of pain as Spike grins down at her.
You remember my ex, don't you, Slayer?
He moves to Drusilla as Buffy sits up, leaning against the wall, groaning and wincing in pain. Spike puts his arm around Drusilla.
Come back, she did. Couldn't live without me.
My boy's been feeding again. But I know what he really wants to eat.
Drusilla shocks Buffy again.
Shall we tie her up? Play with her a teensy bit first?
Spike looks down at Buffy pensively.
I'm through playing.
Oh! I like it when you're all dour and straight-to-business-like.
Drusilla hands Spike the cattle prod and he turns it on her, dropping her unconscious next to Buffy.
Bloody well through playing.
Buffy struggles back to consciousness.
There she is.
Spike has Buffy manacled to the wall, her arms stretched up over head. He smiles as she tests her bonds.
Beginning to think you'd sleep the night away.
Buffy stares at him in confusion, then remembers.
Drusilla...?
Spike smiles and moves aside to reveal Drusilla, bound to a nearby pillar. They face each other across a distance of about ten feet.
Not nice to change the game in mid-play, Spike. You've taken my chair and the music hasn't stopped.
Sorry, pet. My house, my rules.
I think I shall be very cross with you when I'm free again.
What's going on?
Simple. I'm going to prove something. (beat) I love you.
Buffy closes her eyes and grimaces in disgust.
Oh, my god.
Spike grabs her chin and turns her head to face him.
No, look at me! (deliberate) I... love... you. You're all I bloody think about. Dream about. You're in my gut... my throat... I'm drowning in you, Summers, I'm drowning in you.
Drusilla laughs derisively.
I can do without the laugh track, Dru.
But it's so funny. I knew before you did. I knew you loved the Slayer. The pixies in my head whispered it to me.
You can't tell me that there isn't anything there between you and me. I know you feel something.
It's called revulsion. And whatever you think you're feeling, it's not love. You can't love without a soul.
Oh, we can, you know. We can love quite well. If not wisely.
You still don't believe, still don't think I mean it. You want proof, huh? How's this?
He picks up a stake and jams it against Drusilla's chest, the point right over her heart. He looks at Buffy earnestly.
I'm going to kill Drusilla for you.
Drusilla begins laughing again.
That doesn't prove anything... except that you're a sick miserable vampire that I should have dusted a long time ago. And, hey, already there.
Don't mock this.
Go mock yourself.
This is Drusilla, girl! Do you have the slightest idea what she means to me? It's the face of my salvation! She delivered me from mediocrity. For over a century we cut a swath through continents. A hundred years, she's never stopped surprising me.
He caresses Drusilla's cheek and she leans her face into his hand.
Never stopped taking me to new depths. I was a lucky bloke, just to touch such a black beauty.
Buffy looks bored.
Spike jams the stake firmly against Drusilla's chest again. She gasps and winces.
Ow.
So you see, it means something.
Not to me. Kill her. Why do I care?
Here's why. If you don't admit that there's something there-- some tiny feeling for me-- then I'll untie Dru and let her kill you instead.
Yes, please. I like that game much more.
Just give me something... a crumb, a barest smidgen. Tell me maybe, someday, there's a chance.
He moves close to her, his face inches from hers.
Spike... the only chance you had with me was when I was unconscious.
Oh, what... oh!
He throws the stake away, furious.
Gaaah! What the bleeding hell is wrong with you bloody women? What the hell does it take? Why do you bitches torture me?
Which question do you want me to answer first?
Look, I'm at the end of my bleedin' tether, you know? I don't even know why I even bother. (to Drusilla) This is your fault. You're the one to blame for all this.
Am I?
Bloody right you are! If you hadn't left me for that chaos demon, I never would have come back here! Never would have had this sodding chip in my skull! (to Buffy) And you wouldn't be able to touch me because this with you is wrong. I know it. I'm not a complete idiot. (points to his head) You think I like having you in here? Destroying everything that was me until all that's left is you in a dead shell? You say you hate it but you won't leave. You know, what I should just do is get rid of both of you. Burn you. Cut you into little pieces so there won't be any more bints to cock up things for Spi--
A crossbow bolt slams into his back and he yells in pain as he collapses to the ground. Reveal Harmony standing in the tomb's entrance, weapon in hand.
Oh, great.
What about me, Spike? You forget about me again? The actual girlfriend? I gave you the best... bunch of months of my life!
She hits him over the head with the crossbow.
That's right, little girl. Teach our naughty boy a lesson.
Oh, so now you're all ganging up?
Harmony starts reloading the crossbow.
I thought I could change you, Spike. I thought maybe if I gave and I gave and gave, maybe you'd come around. Maybe be a little nicer. Stop treating me like your dog. But now I see it's you. You're the dog who needs to be put d--
Spike rushes her, grabs the crossbow and hits her in the face. He throws the crossbow across the chamber.
Buffy tugs desperately at her chains.
Drusilla works at her ropes.
Harmony and Spike punch and kick each other. Spike is clearly the better fighter.
Drusilla frees herself from the ropes and charges Buffy, who jumps up and braces herself against the sides of the archway that she is chained beneath. Drusilla punches her in the stomach. Buffy blocks her next blow with her chained hands and head-butts the vampire.
Spike pins Harmony to the ground.
Ow, you're on my hair!
She reaches around him, grabs the bolt in his back, and twists. Spike bellows in pain.
Buffy kicks Drusilla, flips over, locks her legs around Drusilla's neck and flings her aside.
Harmony stands up with the bolt in her hand. She jumps on Spike and tries to stake him with it but he avoids her blow and grapples with her for control.
Drusilla picks up a 2x4 and pounds Buffy with it, grinning maniacally.
Spike punches Harmony in the face and she goes down for the count.
Drusilla seizes Buffy by the throat and looks deep into her eyes, anticipating the kill.
Spike rushes over and throws Drusilla aside. She falls to the floor as Spike quickly unlocks Buffy's chains. Dru gets to her feet, holding her face and looking shocked.
Poor Spike... so lost. Even I can't help you now.
She melts into the shadows, one moment there, the next she's gone.
Oh, Spikey?
Buffy and Spike roll their eyes in unison and turn to Harmony.
And you can say good-bye to this because you're not going to see it any more ever. (considers) Unless you run into me somewhere and it's me walking away from you.
She starts to leave, then stops and turns back.
But even then, I'll probably just, you know... back away.
She backs out of the crypt and disappears.
Buffy turns to Spike. He takes a deep breath and looks at her warily. She decks him and he tumbles backward, shattering his Buffy Shrine. He falls amid hundreds of pictures, the mannequin collapsing on top of him.
Without a word, Buffy turns and leaves.
Buffy strides toward her house, Spike running to catch up.
Buffy! Come on, now. Stop! You can't just walk away from this.
What part of punching you in the face do you not understand?
So we had a fight. It's not our first, love, and it doesn't change anything.
Buffy rounds on him, furious.
It changes everything, Spike! I want you out. I want you out of this town, I want you off this planet! You don't come near me, my friends or my family again. Ever! Understand?
She storms off. Spike shakes his head and follows Buffy up onto the front porch of her house.
No, it's not that easy. We have something, Buffy. It's not pretty but it's real and there's nothing either one of us can do about it.
Buffy opens the door and walks into the house, turning to face Spike who is right on her heels.
Like it or not, I'm in your life. You can't just shut me out.
He stops suddenly at the doorway, repelled by an invisible force blocking his entry. Buffy shoots him a grim look.
Spike stares at her in surprise and smiles at her tentatively, not quite getting it yet. It begins to dawn on him that his invitation has been revoked. For the first time, he starts to get that she really has no feelings for him.
A look of genuine pain crosses his features as Buffy steps back and slams the door in his face.