All The Way

[Transcript of "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" episode All The Way at buffyology.com.]

Prologue

INT. THE MAGIC BOX-- SALES FLOOR-- DAY

The shop is filled with Halloween customers, including many laughing children. A large banner reads

Halloween Bone-Anza

ANYA moves through the crowd on roller-skates, wearing candy-striped shorts, a red blouse and Farrah Fawcett hair.

ANYA

(to customer)
Everything on this table's half off. Including the table. (to second customer) Buy one eyeball, get the second one free!

GILES works the register dressed as a wizard. XANDER, dressed as a pirate, entertains several children. He holds up a jar full of glowing specks.

XANDER

Arrr! Careful, me maties! These be fireflies spat from a volcano off the coast of Katmandu. Arr!

A BOY dressed as a fireman scoffs.

BOY

You're not a real pirate! Real pirates live on boats and don't look stupid.

XANDER

Oh, a salty swabbie! Maybe you be fishin' for the taste... of me hook!

He shakes his hook in the boy's face who remains unimpressed.

GILES

(to Xander)
Hello, Ahab! A little help please?

XANDER

Arr! And help ye shall have! Arr!

Xander shoots the boy a menacing look and walks off, scratching his neck with the hook.

DAWN, not in costume, puts some supplies down on the table next to Anya.

DAWN

So what are you supposed to be?

ANYA

An angel.

DAWN

Oh. Shouldn't you have wings?

ANYA

Oh, no. This is a special kind of angel called a Charlie. We don't have wings, we just skate around with perfect hair fighting crime. Where's your costume?

DAWN

(scoffs)

Like I'm six years old? Halloween's so lame.

ANYA

But you get to dress up and play games! Xander's going to teach me a new one after work called Shiver Me Timbers. Ever play?

TARA appears just in time to intervene.

TARA

Dawn, Willow could use some help in magickal texts.

DAWN

(grins)
I'm all over it.

ANYA

(to Tara)
How about you? Ever play Shiver Me Timbers?

TARA

I'm not really much for the timber.
CUT TO:

WILLOW, on the other side of the room, holds up a book on witchcraft. She's talking sternly to a customer dressed as the Wicked Witch from the Wizard of Oz.

WILLOW

(angry)
I'm just saying you might want to rethink the stereotype before someone turns you into a toad.

Annoyed, the woman grabs the book and walks away. Willow calls after her.

WILLOW

And while you're at it, why don't you try removing that broomstick from your-- Dawn!

DAWN

Hey. Don't stop the invective on account of me.

WILLOW

If I see one more idiot that thinks witches are all hairy moles and rotted teeth...

A tiny little GIRL dressed as a witch tugs on Willow's leg.

TINY WITCH

Excuse me, do you have any candy corn?

WILLOW

Oh, look at you! You are just the cutest thing!

DAWN

I thought you said--

WILLOW

I know, but look. With the hat and the wart! (smiles) Oh! Let's go fill your tummy up with sugary niblets, okay?

Willow takes her by the hand and leads away.

Dawn spots a large gold coin with a symbol of a dragon etched on it lying on a nearby table. She looks around furtively and slips it in her pocket, then casually walks away.

ANYA

Buffy!

BUFFY sets a large cardboard box down on the counter.

ANYA

We're running low on mandrake root. Check the basement.

BUFFY

(to herself)
Don't blame me if we have this conversation over and over...
CUT TO:

INT. THE MAGIC BOX-- BASEMENT-- DAY

Buffy trudges down the stairs still holding the box.

BUFFY

...and over... and over and over.

As Buffy reaches the bottom, SPIKE emerges from beneath the stairs.

BUFFY

Oh! (beat) Bell. Neck. Look into it.

SPIKE

Come with a nice leather collar, does it?

BUFFY

What are you doing lurking down here?

SPIKE

(sighs)

Came through the tunnels. Running low on burba weed. Stir it in with the blood. Makes it all hot 'n spicy. (off her look) What? I was going to pay for it. (off her look again) I mean, no. I was gonna nick it 'cause that's what I do. I go where I please and I take what I want and what's your excuse anyway? I thought you'd had it to the brim with customer disservice.

BUFFY

One-time deal to help out. And I mean straight time. No loop-d- loop mummy hand repeat-o-vision. Where's the mandrake root?

Spike takes a jar off a nearby a shelf.

SPIKE

Here. Only three to a jar. Tend to go a bit wonky if you cram them too close.

BUFFY

Thanks.

SPIKE

Feel like a bit of the rough and tumble?

BUFFY

(shocked)
What?

SPIKE

Me... you... (beat) Patrolling? Hello?

BUFFY

Oh. I should stay. Maybe tomorrow.

Awkward silence. They both turn to go.

SPIKE

It's not like I don't already have plans. Great Pumpkin's on in twenty.

He nods to her and leaves. Buffy shakes her head, exasperated.

BUFFY

So much easier to talk to when he wanted to kill me.
CUT TO:

INT. THE MAGIC BOX-- SALES FLOOR-- DAY

Buffy emerges from the basement carrying the jar of mandrake root. She closes the door and is immediately intercepted by Anya, who takes the jar from her.

ANYA

Oh! Go help Giles.

Buffy heads to the front and finds Giles busily ringing up a customer. A long line has formed.

BUFFY

What happened to Xander?

GILES

He kept poking me with his hook. I sent him over to charmed objects. With any luck, he'll poke the wrong one and end up in an alternative dimension inhabited by a 50-foot Giles that squishes annoying teeny pirates. We've got a ton of bagging to do here.

BUFFY

Actually, Spike had a really good idea. You know, maybe I should patrol.

GILES

Buffy, you've been patrolling every night this week. Besides, it's Halloween. It's the one time of the year that supernatural threats give it a well-deserved rest. As should you.

BUFFY

Yeah, what about costumes that take over your personality? Or wee little Irish fear-demony thingies?

GILES

Yes, well, if anything calamitous should happen, history suggests it'll happen to one of us.

BUFFY

Right, exactly! So I should patrol to avoid any of that.

Giles shoves an item into her hand.

BUFFY

And I'm bagging.
CUT TO:

EXT. RESIDENTIAL NEIGHBORHOOD-- DUSK

Children in costume run around, shouting and laughing.

MR. KALTENBACH, an elderly man in a suit and hat walks down the street, carrying a large paper bag and humming Pop Goes The Weasel. He walks up the stairs and into his house.

CUT TO:

INT. KALTENBACH'S HOME-- CONTINUOUS-- DUSK

Kaltenbach enters, still humming. He puts his hat on a hook and walks through the house. Toys line the shelves and tables, many of them carved out of wood.

He goes into the kitchen where a large pot steams on the stove. He sniffs it briefly, then puts the bag down on the counter.

KALTENBACH

(sings)
Da da da, happy Halloween.

He looks out the window at the children.

KALTENBACH

Give you something special this year...

He opens a drawer and takes out a large butcher knife, testing the blade with his thumb while he continues humming.

Opening credit sequence.

ACT I

INT. THE MAGIC BOX-- SALES FLOOR-- NIGHT

Dawn stands at the door ushering the last of the customers out.

DAWN

Come again!

She closes the door and leans against it with a sigh.

DAWN

Ughh! In a zillion years.

Xander lies on his back on the floor. He weakly waves his hook.

XANDER

Store go boom. Arr.

Everyone is absolutely exhausted. Anya is behind the counter counting the money.

ANYA

That was the most incredible thing I have ever experienced. (off Xander's look) Except for that.

Dawn walks across the room to join Anya behind the counter.

ANYA

What you all did for me tonight... the astounding heaps of money you helped me-- (Xander clears his throat) --us acquire. All I can say is, I hope we make as much tomorrow.

BUFFY

(dismayed)
Tomorrow?

ANYA

Post-holiday clearance. The cornerstone of retail.

Everyone groans. Giles gets to his feet with a grimace.

GILES

Brooms all around, then.

WILLOW

Or I could whip up a jaunty self-cleaning incantation. It'll be like Fantasia.

GILES

We all know how splendidly that turned out for Mickey.

He hands Willow a broom and dustpan.

WILLOW

I think I'm a little more adept than a cartoon mouse.

TARA

And you have more fingers, which is good 'cause there's no need to wear those big white gloves to overcompensate.

BUFFY

(to Xander)
You know, if you had a real pegleg, you wouldn't just have a lame costume, you'd actually be lame. Which is completely different.

Xander stares at Anya. She and Dawn are behind the counter, doing a little dance.

DAWN

You do this every night?

ANYA

Every time I close out the cash register. The Dance of Capitalist Superiority.

XANDER

(to himself)
I'm going to marry that girl.

BUFFY

What? She's fifteen and my sister so don't ev-- oh.

Xander stands up and goes over to Anya.

XANDER

Hey, everybody. Can I... there's something Anya and I... want to tell you.

ANYA

Now?

XANDER

Now.

Xander puts his arm around her and turns to face the rest of his friends.

XANDER

We're getting married.

DAWN

(smiles)
Oh, my god!

TARA

Congratulations!

WILLOW

(stunned)
That... that's... wow.

XANDER

It's a big wow.

ANYA

(to Xander)
I thought you were waiting for the right moment?

Xander smiles fondly at her.

XANDER

I did.

They kiss. Dawn watches happily and Anya tosses a wad of bills into the air with a laugh.

ANYA

Here, have some money!

BUFFY

(to Giles)
Did you know about this?

GILES

No. Unless I blocked it from my memory. (beat) Much as I will Xander's vigorous use of his tongue.

Giles removes his glasses and begins to clean them. Buffy watches this with an expression of outrage.

BUFFY

Is that why you're always cleaning your glasses? So you don't have to see what we're doing?

GILES

Tell no one.

Buffy looks back over at Anya and Xander who are still kissing.

BUFFY

Giles, this is... we have to do something.
CUT TO:

INT. SUMMERS HOME-- LIVING ROOM-- NIGHT

Music plays at an impromptu engagement party. Anya holds out her hand, showing off her ring to Dawn.

ANYA

And he said he couldn't imagine the rest of his life without me and then he gave me this!

XANDER

Which I'll be paying for the rest of my life.

DAWN

Can I try it on?

ANYA

(smiles)
Oh, absolutely not.

Giles and Buffy appear from the kitchen, carrying cups.

GILES

Where I come from, this sort of thing requires much in the way of libation.

Everyone takes a cup.

XANDER

God save the Queen!

BUFFY

Sorry we couldn't do the big fancy. You kinda caught us with our parties down.

ANYA

Oh, that's okay. This is just the first premarital celebration. There'll be lots more. With gifts.

Tara and Willow appear with bowls of snacks.

TARA

Sure, maybe we'll even have time to decorate for the next one.

WILLOW

Why wait?

WILLOW

Imperatus!

A shimmer passes through the room, leaving behind paper lanterns and streamers in its wake.

Dawn squeals with pleasure but Tara looks less than thrilled. Giles shares Tara's disapproval.

ANYA

This is so much better than the way it usually looks. Thank you.
CUT TO:

INT. SUMMERS HOME-- KITCHEN-- NIGHT

Willow pours snacks from a bag into a large bowl. Tara sits nearby.

TARA

The grocery store's still open. We could've bought decorations there.

WILLOW

Why bother? These are perfect. And extra biodegradabley. In a couple of hours, poof!

TARA

No, they're great, it's just why use magick when you can do something naturally?

WILLOW

Well, you can fight monsters naturally with sticks and stones. Don't recommend it though.

TARA

It's different.

WILLOW

How?

TARA

Because you're protecting people. Keeping them from being hurt.

WILLOW

Which makes them happy. Like pretty decorations made Anya happy.

TARA

That's not the point, Will.

WILLOW

Why are you being like this?

TARA

This isn't about me!

WILLOW

This is so about you. You're always coming down on me for doing magick that couldn't harm a fly. What's your problem?

TARA

Willow, I just wish that you would stop and think about what you're--

Tara stops when she notices Dawn standing in the door.

DAWN

(nervous)
Sorry. Just checkin' on the chips.

WILLOW

It's okay. (pointed) We're done.

Willow takes the bowl of chips and walks out. Dawn gives Tara an anxious look, then follows Willow.

CUT TO:

INT. SUMMERS HOME-- LIVING ROOM-- NIGHT

Buffy hugs Xander tight.

BUFFY

You're getting married! You!

XANDER

Me! Choking.

BUFFY

Oh, sorry. (lets him go) I just... I can't believe it. Seems like only yesterday you had to pay a girl to date you.

XANDER

Like I'd ever pay. (beat) Define 'date'.

Willow and Dawn approach carrying a bowl of snacks.

BUFFY

I was only out of commission for three months. (to Willow) How many other things have changed since I've been away?

DAWN

Oh, I got a tattoo!

BUFFY

(shocked)
What!

WILLOW

Which is why we told her no.

DAWN

Just a little one?

BUFFY

Over my dead body. The kind that doesn't come back.

Anya enters.

DAWN

Fine. (to Anya) Congratulations. You're very lucky. Finding a guy like him.

XANDER

Not as lucky as me.

Xander kisses Anya on the cheek.

DAWN

See you guys tomorrow?

She starts to leave and Buffy grabs her arm.

BUFFY

Whoa! Tomorrow?

DAWN

Yeah. I'm sleeping over at Janice's, remember?

BUFFY

That's tonight?

DAWN

No. It's on the other Halloween. Come on, you said I could.

Buffy is unsure and looks to Willow who shrugs.

BUFFY

Well... I know I did, it's just, you know, now with Xander's party, I--

XANDER

We're good. (to Dawn) But you have to get us some extra gifts for our reception.

ANYA

Yes, please!

BUFFY

I don't know. Giles?

GILES

It's really not up to me.

DAWN

Come on. It's four blocks away. I'll walk straight over. Not like I'm going to be roaming the streets. Please?
CUT TO:

EXT. RESIDENTIAL STREET-- NIGHT

The street is busy with parents and costumed kids running and laughing. Dawn pauses, looks around, then takes off in a different direction.

She makes her way down a dark alley; distant police sirens provide backdrop. A rattling and banging nearby causes her to slow.

DAWN

Hello?

She picks up a piece of wood and wields it like a club, creeping forward slowly. She rounds the corner to find two people making out.

GUY

Hey!

DAWN

Oh!

GIRL

Perv.

DAWN

Sorry. I thought--

Dawn backs away right into her friend, JANICE. She turns around with a gasp, then smiles in relief.

JANICE

Hey, Summers. Did you get over the wall okay?

DAWN

Yeah. My sister thinks I'm staying at your house.

JANICE

Ah. The Mominator thinks I'm staying at yours. (laughs) Can't believe they fell for that one. Like own a TV.

DAWN

So where're we meeting?

JANICE

The park. That's where all the monsters gather on Halloween.
CUT TO:

EXT. SUNNYDALE PARK-- NIGHT

ZACK stands on a swing, whooping with glee. Two other boys and two girls sit on a nearby bench with a stereo blaring. JUSTIN throws a rock and it hits Zack.

ZACK

To infinity and-- ow!

JUSTIN

(sarcastic)
Oops.

JANICE

Nice shot.

Janice and Dawn walk up as Zack jumps down from the swing. He and Justin walk over to the girls. Zack sweeps Janice up in a hug.

ZACK

Hey, baby.

JANICE

Hey.

ZACK

What took you so long?

JANICE

We stopped for crimes and misdemeanors. Zack, this is my friend Dawn I was telling you about.

Zack leers at Dawn.

ZACK

Hel-loooo.

Janice shoves him playfully.

JUSTIN

(to Dawn)
Hey. Justin.

Dawn shakes his hand.

DAWN

I know. I've seen you around at a couple of parties.

JUSTIN

I've seen you, too.

Dawn smiles, happy that she's been noticed. The other couple gets up to leave.

BOY

Hey, we'll catch you guys later.

ZACK

Alone at last.

JANICE

So! What do you guys want to do?

Zack and Justin exchange a suggestive look, then look at the girls. Dawn smiles bashfully.

CUT TO:

EXT. RESIDENTIAL STREET-- NIGHT

An egg smashes against the side of a house. Zack stands with Janice on the lawn with an egg carton.

ZACK

Yeah, three points! Woo!

Dawn and Justin are nearby. Justin is crouched by a car, letting the air out of the tires. Dawn points to the Halloween decorations on the house.

DAWN

(to Justin)
Witches don't really look like that.

JUSTIN

You got a lot of witch friends?

DAWN

No! I mean, from stuff... that I've read and stuff. Some of them are supposed to be really pretty and you don't want to get them mad--

Zack runs past.

ZACK

New target, come on!

JUSTIN

Woo-hoo!

Justin jumps up and runs after Zack. Janice walks over to Dawn and they follow the guys, just out of earshot.

JANICE

So?

DAWN

He's okay.

JANICE

Ho-hum okay or like "Oh, my god I think I'm gonna pee my pants" okay?

DAWN

Pee.

They both laugh and run after the guys.

Zack kicks a mailbox off its post. He and Justin walk side-by-side, the girls about twenty feet behind.

ZACK

So what's the verdict, cap'n? Is little Justin in love?

JUSTIN

I don't know... she's cute.

ZACK

Well, congratulations for having eyeballs. But what about, you know, going all the way? Do you think--

Zack looks back and notices that the girls are now within earshot.

ZACK

--that the moon and the stars look lovely tonight?

JANICE

Hey, you think when we're done with this juvie crap maybe we can do something else? I'm gettin' kinda bored.

ZACK

Just one more.

Zack stops and looks across the street at old Mr. Kaltenbach's house.

CUT TO:

INT. SUMMERS HOME-- MAIN STAIRCASE-- NIGHT

Xander sits on the stairs with Giles, sharing a drink.

GILES

Anya is a wonderful former vengeance demon. I'm sure you'll spend many years of non-hell-dimensional bliss. Is she moving in with you? You know, with your combined incomes, you might think about a down payment on a house.

XANDER

Like the kind you live in?

GILES

No rush. I'm sure you have plenty to think about with the arrangements for the wedding and so on. You've got the rest of your lives to plan the rest of your lives.

XANDER

(nervous)
Yeah, yeah.
CUT TO:

EXT. KALTENBACH'S HOME-- NIGHT

The two couples stand across from the house.

JANICE

No way. You know who lives there?

JUSTIN

Old man Kaltenbach.

ZACK

Crusty old bastard.

DAWN

Isn't he supposed to be... mental or something?

ZACK

Total loony-tunes. (re:
decorations)

Pumpkins...

very

dangerous.

Zack nudges Janice.

ZACK

You go first.

JANICE

What? Screw that!

ZACK

Come on, show us how brave you are. Let's see those cute little girlie guts.

Janice shoves him angrily and he laughs.

JUSTIN

Hey, lay off, man. If she doesn't want to--

DAWN

I'll do it.

ZACK

Go Dawn!

JUSTIN

(to Dawn)
Look. You don't have to do this.

DAWN

It's okay. I want to.

Dawn nervously walks toward the house as the others watch with anticipation.

She climbs the front steps, picks up the jack-o-lantern and raises it over her head. She turns and smiles at the others.

Suddenly, a hand grabs Dawn's arm. She shrieks in fear and drops the pumpkin. It smashes on the steps.

Dawn looks fearfully up at Kaltenbach as he leans toward her.

KALTENBACH

Shouldn't oughta mess with those. Sometimes they bite.

Justin runs over, followed by Zack and Janice.

JUSTIN

Get away from her!

ZACK

Don't make me go kung-fu on you, man!

The old man stares at them all for a moment, then laughs.

KALTENBACH

Come on inside, kids. Got somethin' special for ya. Daddy's got a treat!

He pushes the door open and gestures them inside. Zack smiles.

ZACK

Cool.

JANICE

No, no, no. We are so not going in there. Dawn, tell them!
CUT TO:

INT. KALTENBACH'S HOME-- LIVING ROOM-- NIGHT

Zack fiddles with a toy robot while Justin, Janice, and Dawn sit nervously on the sofa.

ZACK

Dude, where'd you get the cool toys?

KALTENBACH

Used to design 'em back in '58. Nothing would give me more pleasure than to see a child's face light up when he'd open one of mine on a Christmas or a birthday. I was good. Jeepers, I was the best. And then that thing happened. One little mistake... and they took it all away from me. They... they took my toys.

He takes the toy from Zack and puts it down.

KALTENBACH

(cheerful)
Time for the treats! Who wants to help Daddy in the kitchen? (to Dawn) How 'bout you, Sally?

Justin stands up.

JUSTIN

Sally's not much for the cooking. Why don't I give you a hand.

KALTENBACH

Hands are good. Always use more hands. More hands.

Justin follows Kaltenbach into the kitchen as he begins humming Pop Goes The Weasel.

Zack sits on the sofa in Justin's seat and picks up a jack-in-the-box, turning the handle.

JANICE

Okay, I say we get the funk out of here before Satan Claus tries to stuff us up the chimney.

ZACK

What, and miss the big treat? That would break the old guy's little heart! Assuming it's still beating.

DAWN

She's right. We should just get Justin and go.

ZACK

Come on, the dude's a thousand years old. What's he going to do? Drown us in his drool cup?

The jack-in-the-box pops up. It has no head. Dawn's nerves ratchet up another level.

DAWN

Hey. Where's its head?
CUT TO:

INT. KALTENBACH'S HOME-- KITCHEN-- NIGHT

Kaltenbach carefully closes the door leading back to the living room. He turns and walks over to the kitchen island. Justin looks through the cabinets.

Kaltenbach goes over to the counter and picks up the butcher knife. He raises it, looks at the gleaming blade and smiles.

Suddenly Justin is behind him, his face the demonic visage of a vampire. He puts his hand on Kaltenbach's shoulder.

JUSTIN

Boo.

Kaltenbach's eyes go wide with fear.

FADE OUT

ACT II

INT. KALTENBACH'S HOME-- KITCHEN-- NIGHT

Resume. Justin sinks his fangs into Kaltenbach's neck. The old man gasps and chokes as Justin feeds on him. Kaltenbach drops the knife and sinks to the floor, pulling a pan of Rice Krispy treats off the counter with him.

CUT TO:

INT. KALTENBACH'S HOME-- LIVING ROOM-- NIGHT

The sound of the pan hitting the floor makes the girls tense with alarm.

JANICE

What the hell was that?

DAWN

Justin?

Dawn runs toward the kitchen, stops when she sees the closed door.

DAWN

Justin?

Dawn reaches out to open the door but jumps back when it pops open and Justin emerges, smiling.

JUSTIN

Let's go.

DAWN

What happened?

JUSTIN

I swiped his wallet when he wasn't looking. Come on!

All four run for the door.

CUT TO:

EXT. KALTENBACH'S HOME-- NIGHT

Dawn and Janice run out, panting.

DAWN

Oh, my god! Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!

The girls run off down the street. The boys come out behind them, walking more slowly. Justin holds his stomach and grimaces.

JUSTIN

Dude, that guy was rank.

ZACK

Bet a spritz of Dawn would wash that right out. So what do you think? Lunchables? Or should we go all the way and turn 'em?
CUT TO:

INT. SUMMERS HOME-- LIVING ROOM-- NIGHT

Anya talks a mile-a-minute to Giles and Buffy. Xander sits next to her, fidgeting nervously.

ANYA

So I was thinking maybe a June wedding but then I remembered that they always had the highest percentage of calls for vengeance. So now I'm leaning toward as soon as damn possible. I mean, mortal life being so short, we gotta get in as much marital bliss as we can before we wither and die. I mean, there's just so much to consider, though. Planning the wedding and new cars, house and babies. You have to plan for babies or they just run roughshod over your entire existence.

XANDER

Yeah, y-you gotta know what to call 'em before they hit college.

GILES

Rupert is an exceptionally strong name.

ANYA

Yeah, if we want our progeny to eat paste and have their lunch money stolen.

BUFFY

(to Giles)
Look, all that matters is that they're happy. (to Anya) Everything else is thick gravy goodness.

ANYA

I know.

Xander's smile seems frozen in place.

ANYA

I mean, I am the luckiest ex-demon in the world. To be able to find the one person in all dimensions that I was meant to be with and have everything work out exactly as I dreamed. I mean, how often does the universe allow that to happen?

Buffy's smile is suddenly forced.

CUT TO:

EXT. SUMMERS HOME-- FRONT PORCH-- NIGHT

The door opens and Xander and Buffy come out onto the porch. Xander takes a deep breath and fans himself with his pirate hat.

XANDER

Air. Sweet mother oxygen.

BUFFY

You okay?

XANDER

Yeah. I just... it's just, I didn't think it would be so much.

BUFFY

But this is good. I mean, this is love and celebration and moving forward. Anya's right. This is the way life's supposed to work out.

XANDER

Right. Deep pools of ooey delight. I'm wallowing, not drowning.

BUFFY

Definite wallow action.

He stands up again.

XANDER

Okay. So once more unto the breach?

BUFFY

Oh, I think my breeches are wearing a little thin. I'm going to take Spike up on that offer to patrol. Gotta be something out there cruisin' for a smackdown.

Buffy heads down the stairs and Xander-- after taking a moment to compose himself-- opens the door and goes back inside.

CUT TO:

EXT. SUNNYDALE STREETS-- NIGHT

Justin and Dawn walk down the street together.

JUSTIN

So you're like what? A sophomore?

DAWN

(laughs)
I wish.

JUSTIN

Freshman.

DAWN

Yep, way down there at the bottom of the rung. Actually? Kinda under those little rubber feet they use to keep the ladder steady.

JUSTIN

Hey, those are important.

He hands her some money.

JUSTIN

Here. The spoils of war. You earned it.

DAWN

(smiles)
I did?

JUSTIN

Yeah, for keeping me steady. And so begins your life of crime.

DAWN

You're a little late. I steal all the time.

JUSTIN

(skeptical)
Really.

DAWN

Totally. I haven't paid for lipstick since... forever.

JUSTIN

Oh, be still my heart! Cute and bad.

DAWN

Yeah, bad to the bone.

JUSTIN

More like frozen! Here.

He takes off his Sunnydale letter jacket and wraps it around her.

DAWN

Thanks.

JUSTIN

My pleasure, Miss Summers.

They gaze into each other's eyes as Janice appears behind them.

JANICE

Hey. Where's Zack?

JUSTIN

(annoyed)
He went to get the car.

DAWN

(excited)
You guys got a car?
CUT TO:

Zack pulls a dying woman out of her car. He drops her on the pavement and takes off with the car.

ZACK

Thanks for the ride!
CUT TO:

Buffy. She walks down the street surrounded by kids in costume. She pauses, watching a couple walking arm-in-arm, then continues on.

An ambulance roars past, siren wailing. Buffy stops and frowns.

CUT TO:

Crime scene. The police have found the woman's body. Buffy approaches the small crowd that has gathered as paramedics load the woman onto a gurney.

PARAMEDIC #1

I'm losing her pulse.

PARAMEDIC #2

Let's get her in!

Buffy sees the ragged and bloody holes on the woman's neck. She scowls and hurries away.

CUT TO:

INT. SUMMERS HOME-- KITCHEN-- NIGHT

The phone rings and Giles answers it.

GILES

Summers residence. (smiles) Mrs. Penshaw, yes. (beat) No, Dawn said she was staying the night at your house. Well, yes, I realize that now but I don't believe that you called to check-- all right, let's just... if I hear anything, I'll let you know.

He hangs up.

CUT TO:

INT. SUMMERS HOME-- LIVING ROOM-- NIGHT

Tara sits on the sofa watching as Xander, Anya, and Willow dance. Giles enters and turns off the music.

WILLOW

Hey, we were just gettin' our dance on.

GILES

That was Janice's mother on the telephone. Apparently Janice said that she was staying here tonight.

XANDER

Ah, they're dipping into the classics. You gotta respect that.

GILES

Is Buffy still outside?

XANDER

No, she was getting antsy. She went to find Spike to patrol.

GILES

Well, it's nice to be kept in the loop. Xander, Anya, you stay here in case Mrs. Penshaw calls again. Willow, Tara, you check downtown. I'll swing by Spike's, see if I can catch Buffy.

Giles grabs his jacket and leaves.

CUT TO:

EXT. SUNNYDALE FOREST-- NIGHT

The car is parked. The back door opens and Janice gets out, giggling as Zack gropes her. He tumbles out after her.

ZACK

(to Justin)
Don't do nothing I would, dude.

Zack shuts the door as Janice grabs him by the front of his shirt and kisses him.

JANICE

You're it.

She turns and runs into the forest.

ZACK

I love it when they run.

His face becomes demonic and he runs after her.

CUT TO:

INT. JUSTIN'S CAR-- NIGHT

Dawn and Justin sit in the front seat.

DAWN

So...

JUSTIN

Yeah.

DAWN

It's cold. You okay? You want this back?

JUSTIN

Nah. Cold doesn't really bother me.

DAWN

What are you, Superman?

JUSTIN

No, but... I do have a few special powers.

He leans over as if to kiss her.

DAWN

(nervous)
Hey... does this work?

She twists the radio dial.

JUSTIN

You gotta turn the ignition.

He turns the key and the radio starts up. Dawn smiles, nods.

DAWN

I love this one.

He brushes her hair back from her face.

JUSTIN

Another thing we have in common. (beat) You're shaking.

DAWN

It's cold.

JUSTIN

You want to go?

DAWN

No. It's just... what do you expect--

JUSTIN

Shhh. I just want to taste you.

He leans toward her again and this time she lets him kiss her.

FADE OUT

ACT III

INT. JUSTIN'S CAR-- NIGHT

Resume. Dawn and Justin still kissing. Dawn breaks off, dazed.

DAWN

Shiver me timbers.

JUSTIN

What?

DAWN

Nothing. Just... wow.

JUSTIN

Oh, my god. That was your first.

DAWN

What? No.

JUSTIN

It was! That was your first kiss.

DAWN

(scoffs)

I've been kissed before. I kiss all the time. Not that I'm a kiss- slut! Just, you know, with the lips and the pressing together and stuff? Big expert here.

Justin just looks at her with a sly grin.

DAWN

Okay, okay, it was my first kiss. I know, I know. I suck, my lips are dry and my tongue's all horrible and sticky and I'm pretty sure I drooled on you... so just please tell me how awful it was.

Justin pulls her toward him and kisses her again briefly.

JUSTIN

It was perfect.

Dawn smiles and leans into him again.

CUT TO:

INT. THE BRONZE-- NIGHT

A band is on stage performing and people in Halloween costumes crowd the dance floor.

Willow and Tara enter and come upon a couple dancing suggestively together, dressed as Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia.

WILLOW

Do they know they're brother and sister?

TARA

Do you think she's here?

WILLOW

What?

TARA

Do you think Dawn might have come here?

WILLOW

It's where I'd be if I were fifteen and on the lam.

TARA

Really?

WILLOW

Well, not me at fifteen, 'cause hello! Spaz.

TARA

You?

WILLOW

Yeah. Hard to believe such a hot mama-yama came from humble, geek-infested roots.

They begin climbing the stairs to the balcony.

TARA

Infested roots... trying to turn me on?

WILLOW

I have to try now?

They kiss and continue on up the stairs.

WILLOW

Come on, let's look over here.

TARA

Do you see her?

WILLOW

No, there's too many people.

TARA

Maybe we can have security--

WILLOW

No, that'll take too long.

Willow stands at the railing and looks down on the people dancing. She closes her eyes.

WILLOW

One among many, many fade to one--

TARA

What are you doing? Will?

WILLOW

I'm just going to clear the crowd.

TARA

How?

WILLOW

I'll just shift everyone who isn't a fifteen-year-old girl into an alternate dimension.

TARA

(horrified)
What?

WILLOW

No, it'll be for like a fraction of a second. They won't even notice.

TARA

Will, no, you can't!

WILLOW

Why?

TARA

Well, what if something went wrong?

WILLOW

Well, it won't!

TARA

But what would Giles say?

Willow looks down at the crowd.

WILLOW

Sukut!

The entire Bronze suddenly goes mute although no one notices but Tara and Willow.

WILLOW

Are you taking his side now?

TARA

This isn't about sides.

WILLOW

You two have been talking about me behind my back.

TARA

No! God.

WILLOW

You know how that makes me feel?

TARA

Willow, you are using too much magick. What do you want me to do? Just sit back and keep my mouth shut?

WILLOW

Well, that'd be a good start!

TARA

(furious)
If I didn't love you so damn much I would!

Tara storms off.

WILLOW

Takulum.

The crowd noise resumes.

WILLOW

Tara!
CUT TO:

INT. JUSTIN'S CAR-- NIGHT

Dawn and Justin are still kissing. Dawn suddenly jerks back.

DAWN

Ow!

JUSTIN

Sorry.

DAWN

It's okay. Long as it's not bleeding.

More kissing, then Dawn pulls back again.

DAWN

Justin... could we...

JUSTIN

It's just... god, you are so beautiful.

Dawn smiles and lets him kiss her some more. She moves her hand up his arm to his neck and face. Her eyes widen in shock when she feels the ridges on his brow.

CUT TO:

INT. SPIKE'S CRYPT-- NIGHT

Buffy strides in, stake in hand.

BUFFY

Get your gear together. We need to...

She stops as she realizes Spike is nowhere to be seen. The TV is on, playing a black-and-white horror movie.

BUFFY

Spike?

SPIKE

You know...

Buffy jumps and turns to find him right behind her.

SPIKE

...in civilized cultures, that's called trespassing.

BUFFY

Good thing you're uncivilized. We got trouble.

SPIKE

Giles found you?

BUFFY

Giles? No. Was he looking for me?

SPIKE

Yeah, it's Dawn.

BUFFY

Dawn? Why, what happened?

SPIKE

No, it's okay, Giles was by here earlier looking for you. Dawn and her little friend pulled a Houdini. Up to a bit of candy-corn mischief, I suspect.

BUFFY

Wait. She's out there running around by herself?

SPIKE

Yeah, kids these days, eh?

Buffy turns to Spike's trunk of weapons.

SPIKE

I did a sweep of the tunnels. Giles is poking about the cemetery.

BUFFY

We have to find her.

SPIKE

I don't think she's in there.

She tosses Spike a crossbow and he catches it with a frown.

CUT TO:

EXT. SUNNYDALE CEMETERY-- NIGHT

Giles hunts for Dawn, flashlight in hand.

GILES

Mist... cemetery... Halloween. Should end well.

He trips on something and falls on his face.

GILES

Bloody brilliant.

He composes himself and resumes looking around. The sound of a girl screaming in the distance drifts through the graveyard. Giles heads off at a run.

CUT TO:

EXT. SUNNYDALE FOREST-- NIGHT

Giles emerges from the trees to find Zack biting a girl.

GILES

Dawn!

The vampire lifts his head and growls. Giles pushes him off the girl and sends him tumbling down a nearby hill.

GILES

Dawn, are you all right?

Giles grabs the girl and realizes she's Janice, not Dawn.

GILES

Janice?

JANICE

He bit me. That jerk bit me!

ZACK

Like you weren't asking for it.

Giles turns to find Zack coming up behind him.

GILES

I feel certain she wasn't.

ZACK

What do you know about it, grandpa?

GILES

Quite a bit, actually.

Zack swings at Giles, who ducks and tackles Zack. They tumble down the hill, entangled together while Janice watches in terror.

At the bottom, Giles rolls to his feet and trades blows with Zack. The vampire kicks Giles and he goes down. From his knees, Giles blocks another punch and hits Zack in the gut, then gets up and kicks him. Zack stumbles backward into a tree. He looks down in surprise to find a branch protruding from his chest.

ZACK

Dude, that sucks.

He disintegrates with a scream.

GILES

(to Janice)
Dawn. Where's Dawn?

Janice shrugs and holds her bleeding neck.

CUT TO:

EXT. JUSTIN'S CAR-- NIGHT

Dawn scrambles out the passenger door.

JUSTIN

Dawn!

DAWN

Get off me!

JUSTIN

Dawn, wait! Wait!

Justin climbs out and runs after her. He catches her and turns her toward him.

JUSTIN

I thought we could, you know, like hang out or something.

DAWN

Hang out?

JUSTIN

Yeah. I mean, you're not like other girls. You're different. There's something special about you. I knew it the first time I saw you.

Dawn wants to believe him despite his demonic appearance.

JUSTIN

I just want to be close to you.

He puts his hand to her face and she gasps and jerks away.

JUSTIN

Sshh. It's okay. It'll only hurt for a second.

Dawn closes her eyes as he bends over to bite her.

GILES

I bet you say that to all the girls.

Giles steps into the clearing.

DAWN

Giles?

As Dawn turns to Giles, Justin seizes her by the throat.

GILES

(to Justin)
Now, you have a choice, son. We can do this the easy way or we can do this the ha--

Giles stops as a bright light suddenly blinds him. He puts up a hand to shield his eyes.

Multiple car doors open, the headlights of the vehicles spotlighting Giles. He finds himself surrounded by approximately 12 vampires, closing in on him menacingly.

JUSTIN

What were my choices again?
FADE OUT

ACT IV

EXT. SUNNYDALE FOREST-- NIGHT

Giles faces off with Justin and Dawn as the other vampires advance.

A hand falls on Giles's shoulder and he turns to find Spike next to him.

SPIKE

So. This a private game or can anyone join in?

Buffy arrives as well.

BUFFY

Dawn, are you...

Buffy takes in the scene. Justin lets go of Dawn, who inches away from him.

BUFFY

(to Dawn; outraged)
Were you parking? With a vamp?

DAWN

I didn't know he was dead!

JUSTIN

Living dead.

DAWN

Shut up!

BUFFY

How could you not know?

DAWN

I just met him!

BUFFY

Oh! So you were parking in the woods with a boy you just met?

JUSTIN

We've seen each other at parties.

BUFFY

Shut up. (to Dawn) I don't believe you!

DAWN

Oh, like you've never fallen for a vampire?

BUFFY

That was different.

DAWN

It always is when it's you.

GLENN, one of the vampires, clears his throat.

GLENN

Excuse me! Can we fight now?

BUFFY

Hey, didn't anyone come here to just make out?

A guy and girl cowering amid the vampires raise their hands.

BUFFY

Aw, that's sweet. You run.

They instantly obey.

BUFFY

(to Glenn)
You scream.

Buffy, Spike and Giles fan out and engage the vampire gang.

Spike takes Glenn. Giles takes MARLA and CHRISTY, while Buffy attacks the rest.

KARL

Die, slayer!

KARL charges Buffy and she deftly steps aside and stakes him as he runs past.

BUFFY

Mm-hmm.

JUSTIN

(to Dawn)
Your sister's the Slayer? I totally get it! I knew there was something about you.

Dawn knees him in the groin and runs off into the woods.

Giles has one of the female vampires on his back while he fights the other.

BUFFY

Giles!

Buffy throws him a stake. He catches it, stakes Marla, ducks a punch and then stakes Christy.

Giles pauses to catch his breath and is tackled to the ground by yet another vampire.

Glenn flattens Spike with a massive punch.

GLENN

What is your malfunction, man?

Spike gets up and shoves the vampire down into the dirt.

SPIKE

It's Halloween, you nit! We take the night off. Those are the rules.

GLENN

Me and mine don't follow no stinkin' rules! We're rebels!

He takes a swing at Spike who blocks, head-butts him, then kicks him in the chest. The vampire slams back against a tree trunk and slides to the ground.

SPIKE

No. I'm a rebel. You're an idiot.

He raises his crossbow and shoots Glenn through the heart; Glenn screams as he explodes into dust.

SPIKE

Give the lot of us a bad name.

He finishes reloading the crossbow just as another vampire tackles him to the ground.

Buffy fights a vampire near Justin's car. He throws her onto the trunk and she rolls off as his fist punches through the hood where her head was moments before. She starts to take him apart, piece by piece, pounding and pummeling him, finally slamming his head in the car door, decapitating him.

She runs off to find Dawn.

CUT TO:

Dawn. She walks slowly through the forest, jumping at every noise. Justin appears behind her like a ghost.

JUSTIN

Trick or treat.

Dawn screams and tries to run but Justin grabs her and pulls her to the ground. He lands on top of her, straddling her, holding her hands down.

JUSTIN

Give me something good to eat.

DAWN

I thought you really liked me.

He lets go of her hands and sits up, still straddling her.

JUSTIN

I do. And you like me, too.

DAWN

I do.

Justin smiles and leans down to take her life. Dawn looks at the sky, as if resigned to her death. As Justin's fangs brush the skin of her neck, he gasps in shock and disintegrates on top of her.

Dawn lies still on the ground, tears in her eyes, a stake in her hand.

CUT TO:

INT. SUMMERS HOME-- CONTINUOUS-- NIGHT

Buffy says goodnight to Xander and Anya while Dawn sits by herself in the dining room.

BUFFY

Sorry about the party.

XANDER

Don't worry about it.

ANYA

It gave me more time to plan the bridal shower. Where do we order obscenely muscular male strippers?

XANDER

Anya...

ANYA

Well, I'm kidding. Jeez.

When Xander turns to leave, Anya mouths "we'll talk" to Buffy and follows him.

SPIKE

Guess I should bugger off. Something about big bads not venturing far from their crypts on Halloween.

BUFFY

Good fight.

Spike nods and leaves also.

WILLOW

So big monster mashing? Sorry we missed it.

Tara gives Willow a cold shoulder and hugs Buffy.

TARA

As long as Dawn's all right.

WILLOW

Yeah, that's what's--

TARA

(to Buffy)
I think I'm going to turn in. Good night.

She heads up the stairs and Willow anxiously follows her.

WILLOW

Tara... Tara!

Giles emerges from the kitchen holding an ice-pack to his mouth.

BUFFY

How's your face?

GILES

Oh, still ruggedly handsome. 'Grandpa' indeed.

BUFFY

(re: Dawn)
She's taking it pretty hard.

GILES

Well, it's not surprising. Still, we can't ignore this kind of behavior. Something needs to be done before it spins out of control.

BUFFY

You're right. I'm glad you're here to take care of it. Don't be too hard on her, okay?

Buffy climbs the stairs leaving Giles staring after her in surprise. He reluctantly heads into the dining room and stands over Dawn. She looks up at him sheepishly.

GILES

We need to have a conversation.

DAWN

Is this the part where you tell me you're not angry, just disappointed?

GILES

Pretty much. Except for the bit about not being angry.
CUT TO:

INT. SUMMERS HOME-- MASTER BEDROOM-- NIGHT

Willow anxiously pleads with Tara while Tara draws down the bed.

WILLOW

I'm sorry, okay?

TARA

It's not that easy.

WILLOW

Well, what do you want me to do? Reverse time and take it back? 'Cause I could probably... (off Tara's look) Joke. I don't think I could really--

TARA

You know what? Can we not do this now? I'm tired.

She gets into bed.

WILLOW

Okay. Let's just forget it ever happened.

Willow goes over to the bureau and picks up a small flowering herb. She palms it and whispers to herself.

WILLOW

Forget...

A flash of light and the herb is dead and wilted. Willow turns off the light and climbs into bed with Tara who smiles at her and laughs.

TARA

Oh, your feet are cold.

WILLOW

Better warm me up.

TARA

Mmm.

Tara snuggles up against Willow.

TARA

This is how every day should always end... and start. And all the stuff in the middle.

She kisses Willow's cheek.

WILLOW

So you're not mad?

TARA

About what?

Willow smiles to herself and closes her eyes.

FADE TO BLACK
END