[Transcript of "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" episode First Date at buffyology.com.]
GILES kneels over the wounded ROBSON.
Gather them. It's started.
It's all right. I understand. I'll take care of it--
Robson sees the Bringer rising up behind Giles but passes out before he can warn him.
The Bringer's blade arcs down toward the back of Giles' head. His arm shoots out and stops the axe inches short of its mark. He wrenches it from the Bringer's grasp and swings it around in one fluid motion, neatly decapitating the acolyte.
BUFFY, Giles, KENNEDY, AMANDA and a new potential Slayer, CHAO-AHN, patrol the cemetery. The younger girls all have stakes in their hands but they aren't focused on the dangerous darkness around them. They listen, riveted, as Giles continues his exciting story.
It was extraordinary good luck, of course, and training-- years of training. Chao-ahn, keep up. You're new here, Chao-ahn, so take notes. Remember about training. (to others) But I honestly feel the largest part of it was instinct. Instinct and reflexes. There's a sort of wary watchfulness I've developed over the years. It's like another sense--
Giles is suddenly blindsided, tackled to the ground by SPIKE.
Spike!
Spike and Giles untangle themselves and get to their feet.
Hey! You're not The First! Hey! You're not in pain!
What?
Anya said you were The First. Said you were evil. You're supposed to be all... go-through-able.
Then why the hell did you tackle me, you berk? What was that supposed to do?
Yeah... didn't think of that.
And, more importantly, you just hit me! Why didn't your chip go off?
Everyone looks to Spike and Buffy who look away, uncomfortable.
Yeah, well...
Well, when we were at the Initiative...
...there was a choice.
Right. To either repair the chip or to remove it.
You had it removed? You removed the chip?
Yeah.
Had to make a choice.
It really is okay.
A beat of stunned silence.
What's a chip?
They removed the chip?
I don't understand a word you are saying.
Opening credit sequence.
Buffy dresses before the mirror, trying on earrings, as Giles enters and stands in the doorway.
You know this is very dangerous.
You've just heard horror stories. Wear hoops, they'll catch on something, rip your lobe off, lobes flying everywhere.
That's not what I'm talking about.
You mean Spike not having a chip. Free-range Spike.
I have to ask. Why on earth did you make that decision?
I guess it was instinct, like you were talking about.
I made that up! I knew the Bringer was there because his shoes squeaked. Buffy, it's crucial that we keep these girls safe and I can't count the dangers: The First, the Bringers, random demons and now Spike?
And the principal.
What?
Oh, nothing much. He was in the school basement holding a shovel, acting kind of evasive. Plus he's got that whole "too charming to be real" thing going on. I'm looking into it.
Well, that sounds very responsible of you. Balances out the vampire-on-the-loose issue.
Nothing's changed, Giles. Spike had a chip before, remember? When The First had him kill and sire all those people.
We have no idea if his chip was working then. A new chip might restrain him should The First attempt to activate him again.
Spike has a soul now. That's what's going to stop him from hurting people.
Buffy...
He can be a good man, Giles. I feel it. But he's never going to get there if we don't give him the chance.
Buffy, I want more for you. (off her look) Your feelings for him are coloring your judgment. I can hear it in your voice. And that way lies a future filled with pain. I don't want that for you.
We haven't... things have been different since he came back.
It doesn't matter if you're not physical with each other anymore. There's a connection. You rely on him, he relies on you. That's what's affecting your judgment.
You think I'm losing sight of the big picture but I'm not. When Spike had that chip, it was like having him in a muzzle. It was wrong. We can't beat evil by doing evil. I know that.
Buffy heads for the door.
Well, I hope you're right. You're gambling with a lot of lives.
A circular saw cuts through a length of metal pipe, sending up a shower of sparks. A number of customers stand around wearing protective eyewear and watching the demonstration. One of them is XANDER. After a moment, his attention is drawn to LYSSA, a very attractive young woman, who is considering a rope display, trying to make a decision about which kind she needs.
Xander smiles, removes the goggles, and approaches her,.
Hi, can I help? You seem kind of confused.
You aren't wearing a green apron.
Confused but sort of randomly observant.
Sorry. I just mean you don't work here, right?
No, right. Just helpful. I'm Xander.
Lyssa. And I guess I could use some advice. I can't even figure out if I've got the right kind of rope.
That depends what you need it for. Something like functional around the house or, you know, recreational? (winces) By which I mean, for example, boating or mountain climbing, not for tying someone up for sexy funky fun.
Lyssa laughs and Xander plays off his embarrassment.
In conclusion, rope can be useful in various ways.
I have a kayak.
And again with the random. I like it.
Sorry. I need to store my kayak. So I was thinking maybe I could, sort of, suspend it from the ceiling in the garage with ropes and a pulley or a... winch-thing?
Not a bad plan. You'll need stronger rope than that. Want have coffee with me later?
What?
Oh, you're the only one who gets to be random?
Buffy moves stealthily from her cubicle into Principal Wood's office.
Buffy inspects Wood's domain: the files on the desk, the diplomas and awards on the walls, the books on the shelves.
Now, if I were a sign of being evil, where would I be?
She notices a large wood-paneled cabinet mounted on the wall. She's about to open it when the door suddenly opens and WOOD enters.
Buffy?
Oh, Principal Wood. It's you.
You looking for something?
File folders. And mechanical pencils. I wanted to write on a file folder with a mechanical pencil.
The supply cabinet in the outer office has those things.
Oh... so this isn't a supply cabinet? My bad. Okay. Thanks.
Buffy awkwardly heads for the door. She almost makes it when he stops her.
Hey, Buffy.
Yeah?
What are you doing tonight?
Preparing for tomorrow's counseling sessions.
No, really.
Watching a reality show about a millionaire.
Well, then I'd like to take you out to dinner if that's all right with you.
Buffy is taken aback and hesitates.
I mean, you don't have to. I'm certainly not saying "come to dinner if you enjoy having a job." (beat) You know, I may have to make up a little document saying I didn't just say that and have you sign it.
Sure, I'd be happy to have dinner with you.
Great. I'll draw up the paperwork.
Buffy exits, looking a little dazed and Wood closes the door behind her. After a moment, he removes an ornate knife from inside his suit coat and uses a handkerchief to wipe it clean of blood. He goes over to the cabinet on the wall, the one Buffy was interested in, and opens it. Inside is a dry- erase board with school budget figures written on it. Wood looks around one more time, then releases a switch beneath the frame and the dry-
erase board slides up to reveal a dozens of mounted knives, axes and swords.
Wood slips the knife in his hand into an empty holder and closes the panel again.
Buffy talks with Willow while she folds laundry.
So he asked you out to dinner?
Yeah. Isn't that weird? He's a principal. He's a young hot principal with earrings but he's a principal. Why do you think he asked me out? He could be interested, right?
Yeah, sure. You're a frisky vixen.
Or it could be work-related. Maybe I'm getting promoted for doing such a good job.
Willow laughs out loud, then catches herself.
Oh. Right. That would make sense, too.
Or maybe he knows that I suspect he's up to something and he's taking me out to kill me.
Well, you'll have to dress for the ambiguity.
You know, it's not even that he's acting that suspicious. It's just there he is, on the Hellmouth, all day every day. That's got to be like being showered with evil, only from underneath.
Not really a shower.
A bidet, then. Like a bidet of evil.
Buff, if he really is interested... are you interested back?
I don't know. He's good-looking and he's solid, he's smart, he's... normal, so not the wicked energy, which is nice, 'cause I don't want to only be attracted to wicked energy... or what if he is wicked, in which case, is that why I'm attracted to him?
I'm going to wait for that sentence to come around again before I jump on.
You know what? Yeah, I think I like him. And it would be good for me.
Right. Help you move on.
Buffy looks at her sharply.
Why does everybody in this house think I'm still in love with Spike?
No, I meant move on from this imposed super-self- reliance. Let somebody get close.
Oh...
The front door opens.
Hey, someone's here!
Xander enters, clearly excited.
Guys! Guess what happened?
Buffy got a date!
No, I did! (beat) Fine. Way to steal my thunder.
Sorry. If it makes you feel any better, it's Principal Wood and I think he's aligned with The First.
Also, like ten years older than you, right?
Which is like a hundred years younger than your type.
Yay, someone who doesn't remember the Industrial Revolution.
I think they're going to end up making out. "Oh, Principal Wood," she'll gasp, "I love your lack of wicked energy."
Buffy throws a sock at her.
Watch it or I'm going to make you talk about your new girlfriend who you hold hands with under the dinner table and think we don't notice.
How 'bout yours, Xander? She evil?
Well she's interested in me, so there's a good chance but I'm hoping for the best. We're going for coffee, she has a kayak--
Giles enters through the front door with Chao-Ahn, both carrying shopping bags.
Dear lord, I hate that mall. The shop assistants are rude and everything in the food court is sticky.
Looks like you found her some stuff.
Oh, hello. Yes.
That's got to be rough, getting just like pulled out of your home, being told you're a potential Slayer, not being able to bring anything...
Yes, and the language barrier is formidable. I was concerned that my Mandarin is a little thin but, as it turns out, she speaks Cantonese, which is... thinner. But we muddled though. And, as I suspected, ice-cream is a universal language.
Like many from Asia, I am lactose-intolerant. I'm very uncomfortable.
What did she say?
She is grateful to be in the land of plenty. (to Chao-Ahn) Let's go put away your new clothes.
Chao-ahn shakes her head, resigned, and they head upstairs.
Hey, Will, do you think you can do a computer check on Principal Wood? See if you can find anything out?
Yeah, sure. Want me to check your girl out while I'm at it, Xand?
Nope. I'm going in blind. I'm going to be an optimist about this. Why go looking for trouble? If it's going to find you, it's going to find you.
Andrew reads the instructions manual for a new microwave oven, trying to set the clock.
"Getting the most out of your new microwave." Oh, nice. "Clock, comma, setting the" ... page 3.
You don't need a manual. It's intuitive.
Andrew spins around, startled, to find his dead friend JONATHAN standing behind him in the kitchen. After a moment of shock, Andrew realizes it's The First and not really Jonathan.
There's a button marked "clock set," for pity's sake. What kind of a nerd are you? No wonder you crashed your jet pack.
Oh! Get thee behind me! I rebuke thee!
Andrew fumbles in his pocket and takes out a small cross, thrusting it at Jonathan.
Take that, The First!
Look, you monkey...
Jonathan passes his hand through the cross.
Oh! Ahh... it burns as it ineffectually passes through me. I'm not corporeal, remember? Also, not a vampire, so... a cross?
Andrew puts the cross down, dejected.
What do you want from me, Jonathan-slash-The First?
I have an assignment for you.
I follow Buffy's orders now. I'm redeeming myself for killing you... I mean, for killing Jonathan.
Really? Why? So you can earn a spot on her little pep squad? You think she'll ever let you in? You're a murderer.
Confidentially, a lot of her people are murderers. Anya and Willow and Spike...
Interesting. And you're the only one that she makes seek redemption? Does that seem fair to you?
I guess not.
You know we're headed toward a fight, don't you?
Yeah.
What do you think the world's going to be like after that? News flash. There's not going to be a Slayer-gang anymore. But there is going to be evil. And as long as there is evil, I live. And as long as I live, you can dwell at my side.
That sounds nice.
And your assignment won't be hard. They're just little girls.
You want me to hurt the girls?
No, not all of them. Not Dawn, not Anya. Not Willow and not your friend Buffy. Just the potential Slayers.
That's horrible! I'm going to scream and get Buffy in here.
She can't see me. I'll still be here and I'm going to keep talking till you hear what I have to say so listen up, okay? The girls must die.
I could never do that. All those girls, all that blood. I didn't like the stabbing before.
You don't have to stab. This'll be easy. Andrew, now I want you to think. Willow brought something to this house. Something good. Something you can use.
The new microwave?
The gun. I want you to think hard. Where did they put the gun?
Wearing her bra and jeans, Buffy watches while Anya scrubs out a stain on her blouse.
I don't think it's really a date, that's what I think.
Well, it is unclear. That's why I chose a top that says, "I'm comfortable in a stodgy office or a swingin' casual setting or killing you if you're a demon."
It also says "I sometimes get blood on my shoulder." Or it might be pizza. I don't think I can fix it.
She hands the blouse back to Buffy.
Thanks for trying.
And I wasn't talking about your date, anyway. I was talking about this sham date of Xander's. I think it's part of a plan to make me jealous.
Well, it's not working.
Are you nuts? Of course it's working! Observe my bitter ranting. Hear the shrill edge of hysteria in my voice.
Uh-huh. I should really go find something else to wear.
Fine, go. Leave me here to stew in my impotent rage.
Buffy hesitates, not sure whether to leave or not.
I'm also going to pee, so you should probably go.
Buffy exits into the hall, carrying her blouse. She runs into Spike and stops, slightly uncomfortable in her half-dressed state, then relaxes when she realizes he's seen much more than that.
You look nice.
Oh, thanks. Traditionally, one wears something over this.
Heard you got a date.
Buffy casually covers herself with the stained blouse.
Well, it's unclear. I have this whole theory about a promotion. Or he's evil.
Buffy, I'm all right.
You don't have to...
What? Be noble? I'm not. I really am all right. You think I still dream of a crypt for two with a white picket fence? My eyes are clear.
Buffy can't help but feel slightly hurt.
Good. I'm glad. Thank you.
Never much cared for picket fences, anyway. Bloody dangerous.
You should try this, too. The going-out thing, I mean. There was that girl you brought to Anya and Xander's not- a-wedding.
Oh, yeah, right. There's always girls who like the look. Bad boy, you know, does it for some of them.
Yeah, I can see that. (beat) I... should go. I don't want to be late.
Xander sits at a table, drumming his fingers nervously and looking at the clock. When he looks back toward the door, he's clearly surprised when he sees Lyssa approaching.
Lyssa, hi! I was afraid you weren't coming.
We said 8:30, right? Did you think I was going to stand you up?
Well, it would be kind of karmic.
What?
Forget it. I'm just glad you're here. You're going to love the coffee. Got myself a Red Eye: black coffee with a shot of espresso. It's kind of rough if you're not used to that sort of thing--
She picks up his cup and tastes it.
It's hot cocoa.
Well, sometimes I don't sleep too good.
She nods knowingly.
I just lost macho points, didn't I?
Hey, who wants macho? I like that you like hot cocoa. (to waiter) Red Eye, please. (off his look) Sounded good.
She smiles sweetly at him and smiles nervously back.
Willow sits at the computer with Dawn, Kennedy and Amanda looking on. Kennedy leans on Wi1low's shoulder with a casual familiarity.
Nothing? No records or certificates... college transcripts?
Looks like the only stuff in the system about Principal Robin Wood is super-recent. Like since he moved to Sunnydale.
I've Googled till I just can't Google no more. He's not in there.
Well, that's suspicious.
Anya enters in a huff with Giles.
Anya, calm down. They're educational.
She marches over to Willow and hands her a stack of large white cards.
What's this?
Giles made them for Chao-Ahn and now she's locked herself in the bathroom. There's other girls up there and they're starting to complain.
Those are flashcards. I made them to facilitate her training. Chao-Ahn never had a Watcher and with the language problem...
You showed her these?
Willow holds up two of the cards... they have rudimentary, almost childlike drawings of what it means to be a Slayer. Bringers, vampires, victims, etc. They are also extremely bloody and violent.
I wanted her to understand the seriousness of her situation.
Dawn picks up another labeled "Turok-han" and looks at it. It shows the a huge vampire standing over a girl who lies in two pieces at his feet in a pool of blood.
Holy crap!
Perhaps I'll rethink the approach.
In the meanwhile, you want to help us get researchy? We're trying to invade Buffy's date's privacy.
Buffy has a date?
Yes, didn't you hear? Everybody has a date. Buffy has a date, Willow's been completely making out with this girl...
She points at Kennedy.
Hey!
...and Xander's out with some hardware store whore. It's Datefest 2003.
Buffy's actually investigating Principal Wood. It's not a date.
Really?
It might be a date.
For god's sake! How can anyone think about their social life? We are about to fight the original, primal evil and these girls are all in mortal danger! Didn't you see the flash cards? This isn't right.
Pan over to the doorway where Andrew watches them surreptitiously.
Robin Wood and Buffy turn into a shadowy alley. Buffy hesitates.
This isn't right.
I know it doesn't look promising but I swear this place is great. The best kept secret in town. It's just right down this way.
Well, it is one of the nicer dark alleys.
I promise you, it's just a little further.
Okay...
Suddenly, three vampires leap out in front of them, snarling and ready to attack. Two more vampires emerge from the shadows behind them. They find themselves surrounded.
The front three charge Buffy who vaults over one to land on the back of another. She stakes it through the back and drops to all fours as it disintegrates beneath her. She jumps to her feet, stake at the ready, as the other two press their attack.
She rams the stake through the chest of one but is blindsided by the other and lands flat on her back. She sits up as it lunges at her, holding her stake out and letting the creature impale itself on it.
When the dust clears, she turns to Wood.
You set me up! You son of a... what?
She watches in amazement as Wood fights the two other vampires like a pro. Stake in hand, he dispatches them, fast and efficient.
When they're both dead, he walks over and helps Buffy up. He acknowledges her shocked expression with a nod.
I guess we should talk.
Resume. Wood helps Buffy to her feet and she dusts herself off.
The restaurant's right there.
He points. Buffy looks and sure enough, there really is a nice-looking little bistro just around the corner at the end of the alley. He leads her toward it as she tries to make sense of the events of the last few minutes.
Xander and Lyssa continue their date. The table in front of them holds several empty cups of coffee.
And you still have to see her like every day?
Yeah, but I guess that's good.
How is that a good thing? I mean, it seems like she never lets you forget what happened.
Well, it's on her mind a lot right now, I think, because our anniversary is coming up. I mean, it would've been our anniversary. And maybe I shouldn't be allowed to forget it. I did... it was a bad thing. It hurt her real bad.
And if you'd gone ahead with it, married her even though you had doubts... that would have been better?
I guess not.
It sounds to me like, in the long run, you're both better off. (smiles) I know it turned out good for me and that's what really matters, right?
I should have taken you on a nicer date than this.
Well... I can think of something fun to do.
Buffy and Wood are seated at an intimate candle-lit table in the romantic little French restaurant. The waiter hands them menus.
Thank you.
This place is nice. How the hell did you do that?
I've had a little practice. Never took on two at once before but I've taken out a vamp here or there and some demons.
So you're... freelance?
Freelance. I guess that's a good way to put it.
And you know who I am?
You're the Slayer.
Right, okay. So... I'm guessing that you don't work in an office about 15 feet above the Hellmouth because you enjoy educational administration.
I actually do enjoy the work but, yeah, you're right. I maneuvered myself into that school, that office, just like I maneuvered you there. The Hellmouth draws the bad things in close and now we're headed for something big, Buffy, really big, and I need to be here when it happens. I want to help.
So you didn't hire me for my counseling skills?
Wood laughs, then stops when he sees her look.
They're valuable, too.
Why didn't you tell me about you?
I wasn't sure about things yet.
You didn't think you could trust me?
No. I wasn't sure I was ready yet. Ready to jump into this fight.
And now you are?
Well, now the fight is starting or it's starting to start and I don't have time to worry anymore. I have to do something.
So you knew who I was before you even came here.
Yes.
How? How do you know about Slayers?
Right. Okay. See, when I was a little boy, my mother was one. The one, actually. The Slayer.
You're... mother? Wow. I didn't know that any Slayers had children.
I don't know of any others. She was killed when I was four. I still remember her but it's a little fuzzy, you know?
Something got her? A demon ...
A vampire. Man, I went through this whole "avenging son" phase in my 20's but I never found him. So now I just dust as many of them as I can find. Figure eventually I'll get him. That's probably why we got jumped outside. I'm not very popular with the bumpy-forehead crowd. I bet you aren't, either.
No, not most of 'em. So do you have Slayer powers? I'm sorry, I'm just... so floored, I have no idea what to ask.
No, I don't have powers. No super-strength or mythic responsibilities. I'm just a guy with a few skills because her Watcher took me in and raised me.
So you decided to tell me.
That's right.
In a darkened little romantic French restaurant.
Yeah. Not really sure how that happened but yeah.
The First is with Andrew again in the living room.
Did you find the gun?
Yes. It was in Buffy's underwear drawer. She has nice things.
Show me.
Well, I didn't take them but there were thongs and regular underpants--
Show me the gun.
Yeah, here.
Andrew holds out a paper bag and opens it so Jonathan can look inside. The semi-automatic pistol is there.
Willow tried shooting Kennedy with that.
Great. There's going to be panic and fleeing when you start firing, so you're going to have to get them trapped someplace, like the basement.
And we're killing them because...
Because they're the future of the Slayer line. When they're gone, the line is gone.
Uh-huh. So why not have Spike do it? He's the one with the trigger.
It's not time for him yet. You can wait for the next time they're training in the basement. But don't just rely on a locked door to keep them in. You'll need more.
Okay. Say, do you have any weaknesses I should know about if I'm going to work for you? Like Kryptonite or allergies?
What are you asking?
Andrew tries to be super-casual but comes off sounding phony, rehearsed and nervous.
Oh, nothing. Are you made out of the evil impulses of humans? So like if everyone was unconscious at the same time, you would fade away?
Jonathan stares at him suspiciously.
You're asking a lot of questions.
Yes, well, because I'm evil and I want to do the best I can at that so I want to know stuff. Like when do we kill Buffy?
Are you wearing a wire?
Willow, Kennedy, Amanda and Dawn sit at a table in stacked with listening equipment: wireless receiver, tape machine, etc. Willow wears headphones and frowns, concentrating. She suddenly jumps and rips the headphones off.
What? What's going on?
The First. It screamed... I think it knows about the wire.
I didn't hear that. They're just in the next room.
But you heard it over the wire?
Only that. The whole rest of the time Andrew's voice is fine but in between is just silence or static.
I guess that's what you'd expect.
Poor Andrew. He must be scared.
Jonathan stares at Andrew, furious.
You think you can trick The First? You think you can squirm free? I hold you, Andrew. I made you do this.
Jonathan presses his hands to his belly, then turns them palms out to Andrew. They are coated with blood.
Jonathan suffered. He was your friend and he trusted you and now he spends eternity in pain because of what you did.
No!
Andrew stares at Jonathan, terrified.
What's happening to you?
Jonathan's skin starts to turn a dark, putrid gray, his body decomposing before Andrew's eyes.
This is what you did to him. Took away everything he was and left him like this. You started down a road with that action. You have to keep going.
Andrew stares at Jonathan, steeling himself. He makes a decision and when he speaks, his voice is calm, measured.
Stop looking like Jonathan. You're not him. You're The First and you're trying to get me to shoot innocent girls but I won't do it. I'm good now and when the fight is over, I'm going to pay for killing Jonathan.
You're going to pay for more than that. Know why? Because the biggest, baddest, First Evil in the world is angry with you.
Willow puts the headphones back on as a ghostly whispering fills the room. It's Jonathan's voice but altered‚ raspy, spooky.
You think this was smart?
I'm hearing something.
You think you can trick me, women?
Kennedy takes the headphones off Willow.
It's not in the headphones. It's out here.
You only hear what I want you to hear. You only see what I want you to see.
Jonathan suddenly appears in front of them, truly hideous now, his skin blotchy and rotting, one eye a pus-filled sac. Amanda screams.
So many dead girls. There will be so many.
Jonathan fades away and the basement is silent again.
Xander, his face bruised, is bound spread-eagled on the sacrificial wheel The First used to torture Spike. Lyssa stands to the side, working the ropes and hoisting the wheel up so that it's suspended over the Seal of Danthazar.
Lyssa has changed clothes also, now wearing the costume of a native ceremonial dark-priestess. She pulls on the rope with no effort, raising Xander and the device by brute strength. It's not difficult for her at all.
I knew it. See, I knew it.
Thanks for your help selecting the ropes. The one I picked out wasn't strong enough.
Yeah. That would've been bad. Listen, is this because I'm friends with Buffy?
Who's Buffy?
The Slayer.
You know the Slayer?
This can't just happen. It can't just keep happening that demon women find me attractive! There's gotta be a reason.
You just seemed like a nice guy, that's all. And I wanted to get to know you.
And kill me?
Sure. Do the ropes hurt?
Yes.
Good.
Willow, Kennedy, Amanda, Dawn and Andrew brief Anya, Spike and Giles on their experience with The First.
So we're thinking it didn't go too well.
Andrew holds his shirt up while Dawn peels the tape and wire off his chest.
You should have let me do this fast.
No, I hate that. Oh, ow!
You tried to record the ultimate evil? Why? In a complex effort to royally piss it off?
Guess we succeeded pretty good, huh?
Oh, god. I never should've gone in wired. Redemption is hard.
Getting back to Spike's question. Why did you try to record it?
To study it, to see if we could figure something out from what it was saying. Because, guys, we have to face it. We know nothing about The First.
Well, we know not to record it. So that's something.
Why did it appear to this one, then? Thought it was supposed to be pulling my strings.
It said it wasn't time for you yet. I'm frightened and my chest hurts where the tape was.
It's okay, Andrew. You did good. You stood up to it. That's really amazing.
Thank you. You're a peach.
Yeah... what did it want you to do, anyway?
Shoot all the girls.
Shoot girls?
Not you. Just the potentials.
Oh, well, that's something anyway. (off their looks) Something tragic.
This proves my point. This time is crucial. We should be circling the wagons instead of doing things like going out on dates when gunplay is imminent. Willow, call Buffy, get her back here. We need to dispose of the gun and figure out our next move.
I'll go get her.
I'll call.
Willow takes her phone out and is about to dial when it rings.
Bet that's her. Sometimes you're thinking about calling someone‚
No. It's a text message. Oh, it's from Xander. It's one of our signals.
Signals?
We have a system we set up a while back. Like codes. This one's either "I just got lucky, don't call me for a while," or "my date's a demon who's trying to kill me."
You don't remember which?
It was long time ago.
Well, if we play the percentages...
...something's eating Xander's head.
Say, that's gratifying.
Buffy will know what to do.
I'll go get her.
Willow is already dialing the phone.
That's okay. We don't even know where she went.
She punches in the last digit and a phone immediately starts ringing in the room with them. They find Buffy's phone lying near the sofa.
That's not good.
I'll go get Buffy. I can probably still track her scent. She'll be worried about the boy.
Buffy and Principal Wood share a dessert.
Oh... oh, my god. That might be the best thing I've ever had in my mouth.
Isn't it good? They soak the pears in brandy. Here, you need a bite with the sauce.
He loads up his fork and offers it across the table to her. She leans in and takes a bite. The fork is still in her mouth when she becomes aware of someone standing at the table over her shoulder. It's Spike.
What are you doing here?
Is there a problem?
Spike ignores Wood and keeps his eyes on Buffy.
It's Xander.
Xander hangs about six feet above the seal, facedown. Lyssa stands beneath him, looking up and smiling.
Look, I've... I know what happens if that seal down there gets all excited. I don't think you understand what you're getting yourself into.
The seal opens up and a vicious feral vampire creature comes out.
Well, then you do understand but what makes you think that's like a good idea?
The end is coming. The final fight. And everyone is hearing the drumbeat. It's telling us to pick our partners, align ourselves with the good or the evil.
Lyssa turns away and picks up a sword. When she turns back her eyes are a feral yellow, catlike.
She thrusts the sword up into Xander's gut and he screams in agony. His blood runs down the sword and drips onto the seal.
Couldn't have done it without you, Xander. Thanks for the great date.
She smiles, then viciously rips the sword back out of him.
Wood drives with Buffy next to him. Spike rides in the back.
Are you sure he's in the high school?
Willow did a locator spell. Useful stuff.
I'm not surprised. That school's at the center of everything.
How much longer till we get there?
Ten minutes. (beat) So how do you two know each other?
He works with me. You know, in the struggle against evil.
Hmm... cool.
No one has anything else to say; an awkward silence descends over the car.
Xander's blood oozes down onto the seal as Lyssa looks on, her eyes still a creepy yellow. As the seal starts to glow and shift, the door slams open and Buffy charges in.
Xander!
Buffy?
The kick sends Lyssa flying backward into Spike. He grabs hold of her but Lyssa turns it around on him and wraps him up in a vicious bear hug, crushing him in her arms.
As Wood makes his way across the room to Xander, he looks back at Spike just in time to see his face shift and the vampire in him rise to the surface.
He's a vampire...
Oh, god... hurry.
As Buffy charges in to free Spike, Wood stands on the seal and starts cutting the ropes binding Xander to the torture wheel. His blood continues to drip down and pool around Wood's feet.
The seal begins to hum as pieces of it shift and crack open. An intensely bright light shines out of the aperture.
Lyssa hurls Buffy across the room with a devastating backhand and kicks Spike away, sending him reeling to the ground.
Wood staggers as a triangular piece of the seal cracks open and the arm of a Turok-han snakes out and grabs for Wood's leg.
Wood manages to free Xander at the last moment and push him away from the seal, cutting off the blood flow and interrupting the spell.
The triangular piece of the seal slams shut, severing the creature's arm and sealing it inside with a lingering scream.
Buffy and Spike rally against Lyssa. Spike's face is cut and bleeding but they are working well together. Spike launches himself at Lyssa, hitting her high and knocking her backward. Buffy is ready and when Lyssa leaps to her feet, Buffy swings her blade, neatly slicing Lyssa's head off at the shoulders. Her headless body morphs into a scaly demonic form, then collapses and dies.
Wood kneels over Xander on the floor, checking his wound but also watching carefully as Buffy goes to check on Spike. He notes her first priority is Spike's well-being, not his or Xander's. Spike does the same for her... looking into her eyes. It's a brief moment, but very intimate.
Wood recognizes it for what it clearly is. Buffy and Spike have some kind of attachment. His jaw clenches, disappointed and disgusted. Then Buffy moves toward him and he puts on a neutral expression.
I think your friend's going to be okay.
Spike joins them and notices as Wood moves pointedly away. Buffy brushes back Xander's hair.
Hey, Xand. I'm here.
So how's your date going?
Dawn stands just inside the open front door, looking out anxiously. Inside, Willow and Andrew watch Anya pace worriedly.
Where are they? It's after two. I can't believe Buffy hasn't brought him home yet. His slut ate him up.
His slut didn't eat him up. Besides, I thought you were all angry at him.
My feelings are changeable but intense.
I understand your fear, Anya. I know fear myself because, you know, I enraged that primal force.
Giles enters carrying a glass of milk.
Are they not back yet?
I'm worried. I think we should go find them. Xander could be injured or trapped or eaten up...
It is late. A little reconnaissance might be helpful.
Chao-Ahn enters wearing her bathrobe, a frightened look on her face.
Why is everyone up? Are the flashcard monsters attacking?
She says she can't sleep. (to Chao-Ahn) I made myself some warm milk. You can have it.
Chao-Ahn looks at the milk with alarm and turns to go.
You're trying to kill me!
She's shy.
They're back! Here they come!
Anya rushes forward.
Is Xander all right?
He looks okay.
Damn him!
Buffy, Spike and Xander enter. Xander is clearly fine. A makeshift bandage covers his abdomen but he's not weak or disoriented. The others surround him except for Anya, who sulks on the sofa.
What happened?
What do you think happened? Another demon woman was attracted to me. I'm going gay. I've decided I'm turning gay. Willow, gay me up! Come on, let's gay!
What?
You heard me. Just tell me what to do. I'm mentally undressing Scott Bakula. That's a start, isn't it?
Captain Archer...
Come on, Willow, let's get this gay show on the gay road. Help me out here.
What if you just start attracting male demons?
Clem always liked you.
Would serve you right.
Children, enough.
I'll need some stylish new clothes...
Enough!
They turn and stare at Giles.
Have you learned nothing from tonight's assorted chaos? There's no time for fun and games and quips about orientation.
Giles gets the flashcards lying on the table and holds them up.
These aren't a joke. This happens. Girls are going to die. We may die. It's time to get serious.
Later. The room is dark and everyone is gone except Buffy. She sits on the sofa, deep in thought, as Spike enters and sits down next to her.
Anybody tell you about what happened around here tonight?
Willow did. The First is back in the mix.
It talked to the little boy. Said it wasn't time for me yet. (beat) I should move out. Leave town. Before it is time for me.
No. You have to stay.
You got another demon fighter now.
That's not why I need you here.
Is that right? Why's that, then?
Because I'm not ready for you to not be here.
And the principal? How's he fit in?
Buffy looks uneasily at him but doesn't answer.
Wood washes his face in the sink when he senses someone behind him. He turns to find his mother, the Vampire Slayer NIKKI, standing there, just as young and cool as she was nearly three decades earlier when she was killed in a New York City subway car.
You look good.
Wood stares at her, calm and expressionless.
You're not my mother.
I give you a compliment and you don't say thank you? Did I raise you that way?
You didn't raise me at all.
Well, I was dead.
Wood casually walks right through her and stops in the doorway, looking back. She hasn't moved, yet she's now facing him once again.
So you're The First. Why are you here? Why now?
Because you've been coming up in the world. Taking the demons out. Makes a mother proud.
Yeah? Well, think how pleased she'll be when I help take you out. Until it's time for that, I've got no use for you.
Wood starts to turn away but Nikki stops him.
Would you like to know who killed me? I know you went looking for him.
You don't know anything.
Is that right? Well, you can check it out after I tell you. Check the timing, reread what the witnesses said, and the people in the subway station--
Who is it?
You met him. You know him. You fought at his side.
Spike.
Now... what do you say?
Thank you.