[Transcript of "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" episode Storyteller at buffyology.com.]
As in the opening of Masterpiece Theatre, pan across a book-lined, wood- paneled well-appointed private library. The leather-bound volumes include the collected works of Nietzsche, Joseph Campbell, Tolkein and bound editions of Batman and Spider-Man comics. A fire crackles warmly in the hearth. Reveal ANDREW sitting in a leather chair wearing a fancy smoking jacket. He holds a pipe and studies an open volume on his lap. He looks up, as if addressing an audience in the room with him.
Oh! Hello there, gentle viewers.
He closes the book on his lap.
You caught me catching up on an old favorite. It's wonderful to get lost in a story, isn't it? The adventure and heroics and discovery... don't they just take you away? Hmm.
In a momentary reverie, he tries puffing on his pipe, but chokes on the smoke and sets it down.
Come with me now, if you will, gentle viewers. Join me on a new voyage of the mind, a little tale I like to call Buffy, A Slayer of the Vampires.
Andrew folds his hands and settles in as if he'll be watching with us.
BUFFY walks alone through the darkness on patrol.
It was cold last night and the wind was cruel but the Slayer had a job to do...
Buffy stops at the head of an empty grave, looking over the headstone at the broken earth. A shadow falls across her back and she reacts instantly, throwing herself forward onto the headstone, suspending herself in a perfect handstand and using her feet to kick the vampire backward. She flips herself over and twists, landing on her feet, perfectly balanced on the lip of the headstone.
She swings a modified crossbow from beneath her coat and fires at the vampire as it gets to its feet with a snarl of rage. The bolt slams into the creature's chest and it disintegrates in a cloud of dust.
Unfortunately, vampires have a job to do, too.
A second vampire leaps from the shadows and sweeps Buffy's feet from under her. She falls onto her back, across the headstone, then drops limply to the ground.
Ouch. My goodness. Things look bad for the Slayer, don't they? She didn't see that second vampire, concealed by cover of darkness, ready--
He's suddenly interrupted by the sound of someone pounding on a door. Rattled, Andrew tries to continue with his narrative.
--ready to attack and make her his own vampirical spawn.
The elegant study is gone. Andrew is seated on the closed toilet lid, talking into a video camera propped on the wastebasket in front of him. He speaks quickly trying to finish before whoever is pounding on the door enters.
Let's rejoin them now to see--
The door slams open and ANYA enters, furious.
For god's sakes, Andrew! You've been in here thirty minutes. What are you doing?
Entertaining and educating.
Why can't you just masturbate like the rest of us?
Opening credit sequence.
Back to Buffy's fight in the cemetery. She lies hurt and unconscious on the ground as the second vampire looms over her. He kneels next to her, bares his fangs and closes in on her neck... then collapses into ash on Buffy's stake. She jumps to her feet and brushes the creature's remains from her coat.
That was great! I completely got you dusting that guy on film! Hey, why do vampires show up on video?
Reveal Andrew standing off to the side, filming Buffy with his camcorder. The POV shifts from Andrew and Buffy to views through the camera lens throughout the rest of the episode.
Buffy glares at Andrew.
I told you, I don't want you doing that. It's distracting.
Buffy stalks off and Andrew scampers after her.
Okay, I'll cut this footage together and do the intro tomorrow. "She was a woman in danger... or was she?"
Are you still filming me? Stop!
But it's a valuable record. An important document for the ages. A Slayer in action.
A nerd in pain. Would they like that? 'Cause we could do that.
But the story--
Anya drags Andrew out of the bathroom by his arm. AMANDA and several other potentials are waiting in the hallway to use the bathroom, holding towels and shampoo. One of them quickly ducks into the bathroom and closes the door.
--needs to be told!
And birds need to fly and girls need to use the toilet and why were you videotaping yourself anyway? Sounds like kinky business to me.
Andrew holds up his camera defensively.
The world is going to want to know about Buffy. It's a story of ultimate triumph tinged with bitterness for what has been lost in the struggle. It's a legacy for future generations.
If there are any. Buffy seems to think this apocalypse is going to actually be, you know, apocalyptic. I think your story seems pretty pointless.
Oh. I was going to interview you later today. 'Cause, you know, your unique perspective on the whole thing. Give it editorial balance and... glamour.
Anya smiles, intrigued.
Well, balance is important. People don't always take that into account. I could bring that to you. Absolutely.
Andrew stands next to the "big board"-- a dry-erase board with several hand-drawn illustrations of the high school, The First and the Bringers on it.
Let's explore the world of our story, shall we? Buffy lives in Sunnydale, California. This is the local high school. There's a Hellmouth-- (slowly) Hell-mouth-- underneath the high school. See, weird things happen on a Hellmouth. It attracts all sorts of bad people and demons and vampires.
He points to a drawing of the seal under the school, then a demon head wreathed in fire, then the Bringers, narrating each.
And now there's this thing in the basement of the high school called the Seal of Danth... Danthazar and it's sort of a door to the Hellmouth. Due to some circumstances, it got opened up a little bit... recently... and this nasty, nasty vampire thing came out of it. It was... it was just awful. It was awful. Now, this whole thing is being orchestrated by something called The First. It's made up of all the evil in the whole world. Oh, there's also these guys. They work for The First. We don't know much about them except for they're very ugly and they're very mobile for blind people. Is that all clear?
Breakfast time. WILLOW, XANDER, DAWN, Anya, KENNEDY, RONA, Amanda and three other potentials are mill around in the kitchen, making and eating their breakfast. Andrew films it all, narrating.
It's morning in Sunnydale.
Who the hell's got the low-fat milk?
Andrew sighs and starts over.
It's morning in Sunnydale and the women of Command Central take the time to fortify themselves for the day ahead.
Hey!
Women and Xander. (to Xander) Hey, I'm going to do your special intro later. The man who is the heart of the Slayer machine.
Yeah? The heart?
Things are tense in Command Central this morning. Buffy is clearly concerned with some unknown danger and the air is filled with foreboding.
Oh, we're out of Raisin Bran.
I'll put it on the list.
That's probably not the unknown danger.
Buffy and SPIKE enter. Spike still wears his long black leather coat, looking more like the evil Spike of old than the new and improved soulful Spike.
Look at this place. Damn girls dorm's what it is.
He lights a cigarette, irritating everyone around him.
That's nice. Second-hand stinkiness.
Andrew looks into the camera.
It's a full house. I think it's a good time to do some introductions, don't you, gentle viewers?
Amanda waves at the camera.
I'm Amanda and I grew up right here--
Not you, sweetheart. Let's start from the top.
Andrew points his camera at Buffy as she pours milk onto her cereal. Suddenly the scene shifts to an idealized fantasy shot of Buffy, reminiscent of the cover of a romance novel. Golden light streams in the window as she pours milk on her cereal in slow motion. A wind tousles her hair and she tosses it behind her with a shake of her head and a seductive wink at the camera.
You've already met Buffy. She's beautiful, with a lion's heart and the face of an angel. She's never afraid because she knows her side will always win.
Now Spike enters the fantasy shot. Now inexplicably shirtless, he moves in slow motion around Buffy and stares at her with a smoldering sensuality.
Buffy and Spike have some kind of history. You can feel the heat between them although, technically as a vampire, he's room-temperature.
Anya twirls through the shot in slow motion, eating grapes seductively and passing a cute blonde potential tossing her hair around like a shampoo commercial.
Anya. A feisty waif with a fiery temper and a vulnerable heart that she hides even from herself. And this lovely girl. (beat) I don't remember her name.
Back to reality.
Oh, for god's sake. Is he doing that again? Can't we make him stop?
I don't know... if we save the world, it will be kind of nice to have a record of it.
And if we don't save the world, then... nothing matters.
Hmm... that's catchy, Amanda. Let's make that our slogan.
Yeah, it is kind of strange how you keep saving the world and there's not any proof.
Yeah, you know, for future generations.
And it does help the girls with training, you know, viewing the tapes.
Come on, no one else thinks this is idiotic?
Or is it important? I mean, Buff, I don't get why this is bothering you so much.
Because it's a waste of time. Come on, someone has to agree with me on this. Spike?
Long as he's not pointing that thing at me, seems like a fine way to keep the boy busy.
This is not about keeping busy. This is about war! (beat) I'm sorry to jump all over you guys but... I have to tell you what's really going on. There's something new. Amanda, Dawn, you're going to stay home from school today. We can survive what's coming but not like this. I had a vision of
what's to come. A horrible vision. Hundreds upon hundreds of...
Andrew backs out of the room, filming Buffy from behind as she talks. When he's in the dining room, he sits down and turns the camera on himself. He whispers softly as Buffy continues her talk in the background.
Honestly, gentle viewers, these motivating speeches of hers tend to get a little long. I'll take you back in there in a little while but in the in-between-time, I thought you might want to know a little about me, your humble host. You see, I'm a man with a burden, a man with a dark past. You see, I was once a super- villain.
Andrew, WARREN and JONATHAN stand before lab bench wearing protective goggles as Andrew explains a complex set-up of steaming beakers and tubes and bubbling compounds.
Thus, the validity of the Bronsted-Debye-Huckel equation at low ionic strength has been amply tested and the charges on the reactant ions are well-known if the reagents are properly characterized.
It smells funny.
I know. Kinda sweaty.
What'll it do to Buffy?
Make her super-magnetic.
Wow. She won't be able to get out of her car.
And knives and other sharp things will fly at her.
We could walk right by her and she wouldn't be able to stop us.
Unless we were wearing metal belt buckles. Then we'd stick to her.
In my plan, we are beltless.
Jonathan and Warren take off their goggles and look at him with awe.
Wow. You're the best, Andrew.
Yep. Good-looking and smart, too.
Andrew comes out of his reverie and tuns his attention back to the camera.
Warren was cool. And wasn't Jonathan just the cutest thing? Well, shall we see if Buffy's still talking?
He turns the camera around toward the kitchen.
...I mean mentally. And from what I've seen so far, there's no way you girls are ready.
She's not done. Even Willow looks bored and she usually can take a lot of that stuff. Look at her.
Willow watches Buffy talk and really does look bored. Then Kennedy inches up next to her and rests her hand on Willow's arm. They share a look and smile tentatively at each other.
Oh! Do you see that? That's important. Willow and Kennedy have been in kind of a bad place lately but things are looking up.
Andrew sets his camera on the table and settles into a chair to continue his narration.
You see, Kennedy pursued the reluctant Willow and won her heart, only to find herself frightened when she glimpsed the darkness that still lies within the witch's mind. Side note: I once had my own personal encounter with Dark Willow...
Her hair a raven black and her eyes inky jet pools of ebony, Willow turns to Jonathan and Andrew and smiles a pitiless smile. Jonathan cowers, terrified but Andrew stands bravely before her.
Jonathan. Andrew. You boys like magick, don't you? Abracadabra.
Willow thrusts her hands outward and a stream of plasma and magickal energy engulfs the two nerds. Jonathan ducks behind Andrew but Andrew merely raises his hand and absorbs her spell.
Haltem.
Okay. Didn't see that coming.
That's because we have power you can't imagine.
We do?
You, Dark Willow, wield a force of mighty evil, it is true, but you are new to the game, little one.
And you know what they say, if at first you don't succeed...
Holy cats, here it comes again.
She sends another stream of energy searing across the room at her enemies. Andrew deflects it even more casually this time with an idle wave of his hand. Jonathan is beside himself with awe for Andrew.
I deflect thy power.
Damn, that is one effective counter-spell.
Thank you, little one. Thank you.
Andrew, still talking into the camera.
She was something. Indeed, she was. Hey, I think Buffy's stopped talking. That usually means she had to go to work. Let's see what those little locusts left for breakfast, shall we?
He stands up and heads back into the kitchen.
Buffy enters, hurrying toward her office, trying to beat the bell.
Not late. Not late till the bell rings...
She rushes forward when she sees two boys fighting in the hallways. She gets between them and pushes them apart.
Hey! Hey! Break it up. Get to class.
As the boys sullenly head off in opposite directions, Buffy notices a SHY GIRL standing alone and ignored by the others around her. As Buffy watches, the girl starts to fade away, literally disappearing.
Uh-oh.
She rushes over to the girl, trying to get there before she becomes invisible.
Hey, shy girl. Don't do this!
The girl disappears completely. As a last resort, Buffy slaps the air where the girl's face was. Her hand makes contact and the girl suddenly snaps back to reality again. She stares at Buffy, her hand to her cheek.
You knew I was there.
Yeah.
You noticed me.
It's okay, I promise. It may seem bad--
Buffy stops as a CRYING GIRL runs out of the girl's restroom.
What's wrong?
The mirror said I was fat! It said it!
The girl runs off in tears and Buffy is about to head into the restroom when she notices a STRESSED-OUT BOY down the hall, standing with three of his friends.
I can't take this semester anymore. It's just so much for me to handle. So not only does Mr. Hildebrand move up the trig exam to today but he also makes it cover three more chapters and I've got an English paper due tomorrow! I feel like I'm going to explode.
Buffy hurries over to him and his friends.
Hey! I can help. You just need to relax, you know? (to friends) Maybe one of you guys could give him a foot rub?
Buffy enters the office to find Principal WOOD tending to a small cut on his forehead.
Something bad is going on.
Oh, is that right?
Oh, you're hurt. What happened?
Someone threw a rock at me as I got out of my car. I didn't really get a good chance to see who.
Yeah, well, it could have been any of them. Students, teachers... something is going on today.
Yes, well, that occurred to me as I ducked the other two rocks. Buffy, what the hell is this?
She reaches up and tapes a Band-Aid to his forehead.
Everything.
Slowly. I may be concussed here.
There's this thing that happens here... in this school, over the Hellmouth, where the way a thing feels, it kind of starts being that way. For real. I've seen all of these things before, just not all at once.
So what? It's like hell's a-bustin' out all over?
Exactly.
Andrew, back in front of the "big board." He nods knowingly and points to the high school.
Back to Buffy and Wood.
So what's the worst that can happen?
War. Pretty much.
Oh, I see you're being amusing now, with comical exaggeration.
Being in high school can feel like being at war. Now it's true. The students feel like the teachers are out to get them. The Chess Club resents the French Club for taking the activities room. And everybody hates the cheerleaders. If we don't do something about this, we're going to have a riot on our hands. And a lot of other nasty stuff, too.
Like what?
A scream followed by a small explosion comes from out in the hall. Red blood and gore smacks into the window that looks out into the corridor.
He really should have had that foot rub.
Dawn sits the dining room, close, smiling for the camera.
Dawn is a typical American teenager, bubbly and sweet with a hunger for fun and a smile that lights up the room.
Hello.
Dawn used to be a Key.
The camera swings around and focuses on a key lying on the dining room table.
I don't really know what that means.
The living room.
Oh, hey, here's something I think you're going to be interested in, gentle viewers.
He angles the camera into the living room where Willow and Kennedy sit on the sofa, kissing passionately. But this isn't Andrew's focus. He continues panning up and frames the living room curtains.
Look at the fine work Xander did replacing the window sash. You can't even tell it's new, it blends so well. He's extraordinary.
Buffy sits at Wood's desk, the school blueprints laid out before her. He stands close over her shoulder, reading them with her.
And you've dealt with this before? I mean, you've seen stuff like this in the high school?
Sure. You know, swim team monsters or killer prom dogs. Again, not all at once.
So what makes now so special?
My guess? It's that seal thing in the basement. It's like all the Hellmouth's energy is trying to escape from that one little spot and it's getting all...
Focusy.
Careful. You're starting to speak like me now.
Xander and Anya sit on the sofa in Buffy's living room. Andrew stands in front of them, talking into the camera.
This is Xander and Anya interview number one for Buffy: A Slayer of the Vampires.
That's what you're calling it?
Either that or Buffy: The Slayer Who Knew No Fear.
I like that one.
Thank you, Xander. That's sweet of you. I understand that exactly one year ago today you left Anya at the altar. Any comment on that?
Whoa. What the hell?
I just think people will be interested.
I know I am. What do you have to say for yourself one year later?
I've apologized enough. That's what I have to say.
But you think it was something that called for an apology?
Well, yes.
So you don't think it was the right thing to do.
Of course he doesn't think it was the right thing to do.
It was the right thing to do.
What?
Interesting. I feel like we're getting to something here.
Look, Anya, if I'd married you, it would have been against everything I thought was best. It wouldn't have worked.
But we... we still spark! I get jealous of you, you get jealous of me. You still love me.
Is that true, Xander? Do you still love her?
Buffy and Wood gaze down the seal. It's uncovered again, just like before.
I swear we just covered this thing up.
It doesn't want to stay hidden any more. It wants to turn these kids into monsters and victims and who knows what.
It wants more than that. Listen, Robin. I had a... vision the other day.
You have visions?
Sometimes.
Well, how do you know that they're not just dreams?
If you're running to catch the bus naked, that's a dream. Army of vicious vampire creatures, that's a vision. Also, I was awake.
A bus to where? (off her look) I mean, an army of how many?
Hundreds. Maybe hundreds of hundreds. All I know is the last über-vamp I faced crawled out of that very hole. Makes me awfully nervous.
Wood steps out onto the seal.
What are you doing?
Have you ever really studied it... you know, gotten close?
He kneels down to examine the markings on the seal.
Well, I know it's a goat's head with its tongue out. Willow did a search on the symbolic database but it turns out everyone likes a good goat's tongue... rock groups, covens and Greek cookbooks. She said she couldn't narrow it down.
And you trust her?
Yes. Why wouldn't I trust her?
I don't know why any of you should trust each other. You've all been evil at some point, right?
No. That's not true. I mean, yeah, Willow had a... bad patch. But I've never been.
Evil is what evil does, right? And I know what you're doing.
Wood stands and turns to face her, furious, threatening. His eyes are clouded over, a blank white. His voice is a menacing growl.
You're with that vampire. Screwing that vampire. You filthy whore!
Buffy yanks Wood off the seal and he collapses to the ground.
Robin! Are you okay?
He looks up, confused, his eyes back to normal.
Whoa. What happened?
I... I think it was controlling you.
Buffy, we've got to get rid of this seal. We've got to shut it down before it starts affecting everyone.
I think I have a pretty good idea who we should talk to.
Yeah? Who's that?
The guy that fed it its first drop of blood.
Suddenly a small pink piglet wanders from one side of the room and out the door on the other.
God, I hope that's not a student.
Spike stands in the basement, pacing and smoking a cigarette. He looks at the camera, realizes he's being taped and flicks the cigarette butt toward the lens.
I thought I told you to piss off with this bloody camera. And here you are again with that thing in my face. Sod off 'fore I rip your throat out and eat it--
Spike, the light was kinda behind you...
Spike's demeanor instantly changes. He becomes cooperative and friendly.
Oh, right.
He takes a few steps to one side and looks at Andrew for approval.
This better, then? (beat) I thought I told you to piss off with this bloody camera. And here you are again with that thing in my face. Sod off--
Xander and Anya sit on the sofa, talking intimately.
You keep ducking the question.
I don't mean to. It's just you know how I feel, right? And you were the one who didn't want to keep seeing each other.
And here's where we hop on the merry-go-round of rotating knives. I blame you and you blame me and we both end up all cut to shreds. Please, just tell... (sighs) Do you still love me?
Yes, I still love you. I always will. I just don't know if that means anything for us anymore.
Well, I love you, too. And I don't know if that means anything, either.
Well, it's nice to hear. I'm not going to find anyone out there
like you, am I?
It doesn't seem likely.
I guess I'm more replaceable, obviously.
No, there's no one like you, Xander.
Reveal Andrew watching the playback on his video camera. He is clearly moved by it and mouths the words along with the tape.
You were willing to stand up to danger even when your hands had no weapons. You were ready to protect me with your life.
Yeah, I guess we fit together pretty good.
We fit together great.
You know, sometimes I want to be back in your life.
I hope you know you never left my heart.
Andrew tears up and hits the rewind button to play it again but Buffy and Wood enter, fast and urgent. Andrew looks up, startled.
Heads up, Andrew. We gotta talk.
We just spent the day keeping the lid on a war.
Oh. That would be very exciting on tape.
The school is out of control with energy from the Hellmouth. It's time for you to help, Andrew.
Well, right now I'm really more about the recording of--
No! No more watching. The seal thing is your baby and you gotta get in there before it tears everything apart.
Five students enter the room and surround the seal. They kneel and extend their arms toward it. It begins to glow and pulse with supernatural energy.
Somewhere in Mexico, 2002
A modest adobe hut sits under a dark and cloudy Mexican night sky.
25
25
A montage of images from Andrew's dream flash by: the Seal of Danthazar, the face of the Turok-Han, a Bringer stabbing a potential, Jonathan's dead body lying on the seal, the seal opening, then ancient and evil voice speaks to him.
Desde abajo te devora. (From beneath, it devours you.)
Andrew and Jonathan wake up simultaneously in a small bed, panting and afraid.
Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod...
Je-sus!
Did you have it again? I had it again.
And that voice... "desme abdo tay deborah". What does it mean? What does it mean?
Let's try looking it up again in the morning, in the diccionario. Holy cats, that was terrifying.
We're fugitives, haunted by our past, tormented by a message we don't understand.
We're hunted men, driven mad by forces beyond our understanding.
We're men of faded power, tortured from within by a voice out of nowhere.
I don't deserve this. I wasn't even that evil.
I thought you were evil.
Yeah?
Sure. I respected your ideas for evil projects and I thought you had good follow-through.
Oh. Well, thanks. It's nice that you noticed.
Okay, I think we're getting a little off track here.
Andrew sits on the sofa with a whole crowd of people staring at him: Buffy, Wood, Spike, Willow and Kennedy. The camera sits idle for the time being.
Willow is pulling memories from Andrew with a kind of magickal hypnosis. She holds a mystical icon in front of him to focus the spell.
I don't want to do this anymore. Everyone's staring at me.
Just focus on the charm. You have to focus on the charm to pull the memories out.
Tell us about the seal.
But it tickles and I'm all tense. Can't I have a cool refreshing Zima?
No Zima!
Shut your face about the Zima. Just talk.
You were the first person to uncover it and feed it blood. How did you know it was there? How did you know what to do?
I don't know! Stuff happened. I forget.
So remember. Look at the charm.
But I'm not a part of this. I document. I don't participate. I'm the detached journalist, recording with a neutral eye.
Andrew. Stop it or I'm going to smash this camera over your head. Actually, I'm going to do that anyway so you might as well talk.
And stop going off topic.
I wasn't off topic. It's going to get relevant in a second because Jonathan's going to go to the bathroom.
I'm going to go to the bathroom.
He gets up and goes into the next room, leaving Andrew alone. He hums idly to himself while he waits for Jonathan to come back.
La cucaracha... la cucaracha...
Did you get the knife?
Andrew turns over in bed to find Warren leaning over him. He jumps up, excited and nervous.
Oh, gosh, I'm glad to see you.
Me, too. You're looking good.
Am I? I probably have pillow creases.
No, no. It's good. You're a man on the run. You got a kind of a wild and desperate thing going. Did you... did you get the knife?
Yeah. It wasn't easy. I had to meet this demon guy who sells all kinds of weird weapons and stuff.
Show me.
Well, I didn't buy them but there were poison arrows and this sort of collapsible sword--
Show me the knife.
Oh, right.
Andrew takes a flat box out from under the bed.
Quick, before the shortcake comes back.
Oh, it'll be a while. He's got a shy bladder. (calls out) Jonathan, you okay in there?
Don't talk to me! I'm fine!
Andrew opens the box, to reveal a gleaming knife. It has runic symbols carved into the blade.
Pretty knife. Except... the stabbing. I don't think I can do it. Jonathan has been a good friend to me here in Mexico. He said he'll buy me a burro.
You can stab him. It's all part of the plan. That boy's blood is a powerful tribute. It's a gift to something very big, very important. And ultimately it won't even hurt him. We get a reward, you and me and him, too.
We live as gods.
That's right, man. The Trio. Livin' as gods.
Andrew cocks his head, a dreamy far-away look in his eye.
Warren, Andrew and Jonathan dance around the flower-filled meadow, dressed in Greek togas with golden wreaths on their heads. Piles of gold bars sit on pedestals all around them. Andrew plays a pan-flute, Warren a lyre and Jonathan has a jug of wine slung over his shoulder.
We are as gods! Oh, we are gods! We are as gods! We are as gods!
Warren and Jonathan join in, joyous and extremely out of tune.
The First snaps Andrew out of his reverie.
There is power in that knife. Drive the words deep into him. It's the only way for us to get our reward.
Got it. If I kill him with this knife, we live as gods.
Wait a second. Go back. What was that part again?
You mean this part?
Andrew, Warren and Jonathan caper like gods again.
We are as gods!
Everyone in the room stares balefully at Andrew.
Not that part! (to Buffy) We need to see that knife. There's something there.
Kennedy, search his stuff. Find the knife.
It's not in my stuff. It's in the kitchen, in the cutlery drawer. (off her look) You didn't have any steak knives.
Kennedy heads into the kitchen to retrieve it.
You put your old murder weapon in with our utensils?
I washed it.
What're you looking for?
He said The First said something about words. Like, "drive the words deep into him."
There was some carving on the blade. I just thought it was a pattern.
Kennedy comes back and hands Willow the knife.
Found it.
Willow holds it out for Andrew to examine.
Okay, you're Mr. Demon-Summoner. How are you with demon languages?
Andrew looks closely at the blade.
Whoa. You're right. It's in Tawarick. It's like proto- Tawarick. (to Buffy) It's really, really old.
But what's the big?
We've never known anything about this seal. Now we know that this knife and this language are connected to it somehow.
Andrew, do you speak this Tawarick?
Yeah. I'm okay with it. It says, "The blood which I spill I... consecrate to the oldest evil."
Creepy.
Buffy looks at Willow's thoughtful expression.
Will, what are you thinking? You think you can do something with that?
Let me work on it.
33A
INT. SUMMERS HOME-- DINING ROOM/LIVING ROOM-- NIGHT
33A
Willow looks up from her computer at Buffy standing behind her.
I think it's got a shot.
They get up and go back into the living room with the others.
Guess what, Andy? You just won yourself a free vacation to the beautiful downtown Hellmouth.
So he can do what? Yell at it in its own language?
Maybe.
What? I'm not following.
Look, we have to deal with the deal right away. We already might have to just shut the school down and I am not losing any more territory to The First. Besides, it's the only thing we've got.
The seal responds to this language somehow or The First wouldn't have needed the knife. Andrew knows the language, can really talk to it, maybe give it commands.
Come on. Robin, Spike, let's go.
Kennedy leans against the counter, talking into the camera.
So she says "come on, let's go" and I'm thinking, great, I'm ready, I've been training. Turns out she's not taking me or my girls. Not even taking Willow. You know who she's taking? The men. And you, Andrew. All the girls get left behind. You wouldn't think Buffy would play it like that. She's not turning out like I thought she'd be.
Andrew? Where are you? Let's go!
Guess you'd better go. M'lady's calling you.
Buffy, Spike, Wood and Andrew stand just inside the front door of the school. It appears empty and calm. As they walk further into the school, they find the building trashed. Fires burn in trash cans, lockers are ripped open, the contents strewn everywhere, furniture smashed, graffiti covers the walls: NO ONE GETS OUT ALIVE and MARCHING BAND RULES! and DIE, CHEERLEADERS, DIE.
The riot that almost happened.
Looks to me like it happened after all.
Furtive footsteps run past somewhere nearby. A bottle smashes against the wall by Spike's head.
Looks to me like it's still happening. Nice way to run a school. There's gotta be kids injured in here.
Yeah, easy pickings for the likes of you, huh?
Hey, here to help, you know.
Right...
Check out Spike and the principal. There's something going on there. (beat) Sexual tension you could cut with a knife.
They move further down the corridor and the damage gets even worse. At the far end, a group of students dashes from one room to the other.
These kids went nuts, didn't they?
No kidding.
Shh! They'll hear you.
Buffy, they're all the way down--
As Wood passes a classroom door, it flies open and a crazed male student, emblazoned with war-paint, leaps out and slams him across the face with a fire extinguisher. Other students leap out of the classrooms and attack Buffy and Spike as well.
The kids are getting stronger!
Buffy grabs the student and throws him against the wall. He sinks to the ground, stunned.
Andrew moves away and the camera image skews wildly.
Oh, god! Struck down before I achieve redemption...
The image blurs and swings around, finally settling on a reverse view of the others behind him. Buffy, Wood and Spike fight the six students. Wood picks up a locker door and turns it on his opponent.
Spike takes on two at a time, wrenching a flaming torch from one of them and using the butt as a club. Buffy keeps an eye on him while she fights the other three students.
Spike! Don't kill them. They're just students.
Spike glares at her, then pounds a teen boy to the floor. When all the students are knocked out, Buffy leads them to the basement entrance.
Okay, Spike. Wood. I need you guys to stay here. Hold our line of retreat.
So I'll be staying here with these men, helping out with that "holding the line" thing. (off her look; to Spike) I'll be with Buffy.
She opens the door and drags him inside.
Buffy and Andrew make their way down the stairs, alert for danger. Andrew points the camera around, narrating as they go.
We make our way down the stairs carefully, alert for any danger.
Buffy spins and rips the camera away from him.
Oh, stop it!
But I was just--
No more.
I... I just want the world to see what you do.
What I do is too important to show to the world.
Oh, I like that.
Be quiet! I don't want a biographer. Especially a murderer.
Yeah, well, see about that? We just keep tossing that word around but that's not really what happened.
What? You stabbed Jonathan to death. What were you trying to do? Scratch his back from the front?
It was confusing. Jonathan and I were digging but Warren was there and only I could see him...
Jonathan stands on the uncovered seal, shovel in hand, dirt still piled high around him. The First in the guise of Warren stands behind Jonathan, looking down at Andrew.
Not one of them cares about you.
But I care about them. That's why I'm here.
Do it. Stab him.
No. I can't do it.
What?
Do it now!
This isn't right.
Stab him. Spill the blood. What's wrong with you? Are you a little coward?
Who are you talking to? What isn't right?
No, but did you actually think I could use this?
Andrew takes the knife out and holds it up.
That's good. Just do it. It'll feel good.
A knife! What's going on?
He's making me do it!
Jonathan seizes the knife, trying to wrest it away.
You tricked me! Damn you! I'll kill you first!
Andrew resists and they wrestle for control of the knife.
Stab him! You have to! You'll die a lost soul if you fail and I'll hate you forever!
I'll kill you! I'll kill you!
Jonathan's face suddenly fills with shock. Andrew steps back, bloody knife still in his hand. He watches Jonathan fall to the ground.
Andrew raises his arms dramatically and screams to the heavens. Warren is gone now and Andrew stands alone over the body.
No!
Buffy and Andrew continue through the shadowy warren of corridors beneath the school.
You see, I'm a man, trapped by circumstances into paying for a crime I didn't even--
No...
What?
No, it's just I thought you would say that. I saw the seal possess Wood like that earlier today.
Andrew lights up. He likes the sound of that story better.
Yes! Yes! See...
Jonathan stands on the uncovered seal, shovel in hand, dirt still piled high around him. The First in the guise of Warren stands behind Jonathan, looking down at Andrew. Andrew looks down at Jonathan, his eyes are clouded over, a blank white. His voice is low, threatening.
That's why I'm here.
Die! Die! Die!
He stabs Jonathan and watches him fall to the ground. Andrew's eyes return to normal again and he looks around, confused.
What have I done?
Andrew raises his arms dramatically and screams to the heavens. Warren is gone now and Andrew stands alone over the body.
Get out of my brain!
You just completely changed your entire story!
Did not.
Um, you did too!
Didn't-- hey, here we are.
Buffy stops him at the entrance to the room containing the seal. A low chanting sounds from within.
Wait. There's someone in there.
We should go.
He turns to leave but Buffy grabs him.
Whoa! No, we are going in. Just be prepared, okay? The seal could have done anything to them. Go.
They enter to find five students standing between them and the seal. The students turn toward the intruders. The kids are all blind now, their eyes sealed shut and scarred with runic symbols. They have become Bringers.
Nope. They're okay.
Anya and Xander lie on Spike's cot, naked, in post-coital bliss.
Well.
Well, well.
That was nice.
It certainly was, you carpenter, you.
It's too bad Buffy took Spike's chains down, huh?
You said it.
I feel good.
Well, yeah. I'm a spitfire in the bedroom.
Yeah, I always knew we'd do that again.
Yeah, one more time, anyway.
Is that what that was? A one more time?
Do you think there should be... more?
I don't know. It was nice. It felt... it felt like a one more time.
I think maybe we're really over. Which-- it's good, right? I mean, now we can move on.
Sure.
She lies back, her head on his chest. They both stare up at the ceiling, melancholy smiles on their faces.
Spike and Wood roam the hallway close to the basement stairs.
Wonder what's keeping them. Thought they'd be up here by now.
He picks up a 2x4 with long nails driven through one end.
How'd they make this in here, you suppose?
He tosses it to Wood who catches it grimly.
Wood shop, I guess. It's nice to know they're paying attention in class.
Suddenly Spike is tackled from behind and sent to the floor by a crazed student. Two more jump Wood. Wood recovers and wields the 2x4 like a club while Spike counter-attacks with his fists. More students arrive and surround the fighters, ready to jump in.
Wood decks one of the students, knocking him out with the board which splinters. He finds himself momentarily free and looks over to where Spike is grappling with a young man, his back to Wood. Wood moves behind Spike, snatches up one of the splintered pieces of board and raises the makeshift stake, preparing to strike him, when he's suddenly tackled by another student and sent reeling backward.
The Bringers attack Buffy en masse and she defends herself with a flurry of punches and kicks.
As Andrew watches her fight, he notices his camera sitting on a ledge by the door. He picks it up and starts filming.
Buffy fights the Bringers, her moves are a deadly ballet.
She is like a woman fighting for more than life. She fights like fighting is her life. It is the air she breathes and she knows she will win because there is no alternative.
Buffy leaps to her feet and knocks out two of the Bringers with a simultaneous kick-and-punch combination. The one remaining conscious Bringer flees the room.
It's your turn, Andrew.
Andrew puts down the camera as Buffy takes the dagger from her bag.
So we figure what? I stand on the seal and hold the knife and like command it to stop glowing in Tawarick?
Buffy doesn't hand Andrew the knife. Instead, she starts circling the seal opposite him, her gaze cold.
Or we could do this.
What...
Doesn't really make sense, does it? Bringing you here to talk to it? This thing doesn't understand words. It understands blood.
Andrew panics, realizing where this is going.
Blood opens it. You don't want to open it. Opening it would be bad.
Yeah, Willow did a little research. Turns out the blood of the person that awoke it-- you-- different kind of deal. It reverses the whole thing.
How... how much blood? Are you going to...?
I don't know. Maybe not enough to kill you.
So this is my redemption at last. I buy back my own bruised soul with the blood of my heart... but not... not enough to kill.
Stop! Stop telling stories. Life isn't a story.
Sorry, sorry.
Shut up. You always do this. You make everything into a story so no one's responsible for anything because they're just following a script.
Please don't kill me. Warren said Jonathan would be okay. I trusted him and I lost my friend.
You didn't lose him! You murdered him.
I know. But you don't need to kill me. You said we could all get through this.
I made it up. I'm making it all up. So what kind of hero does that make me?
No, you're doing a great job, really. Kudos.
Yeah, well, I don't like having to give a bunch of speeches about how we're all going to live, because we won't. This isn't some story where good triumphs because good triumphs. Good people are going to die. Girls. Maybe me. Probably you. Probably right now.
Andrew is close to tears.
Don't... please...
Buffy drags him over to seal and holds him over it, the dagger raised to strike.
When your blood pours out, it might save the world. What do you think about that? Does it buy it all back? Are you redeemed?
No!
Why not?
He starts to cry now as he realizes he truly might be about to die.
Because I killed him. Because I listened to Warren and I pretended that I thought it was him but I knew it wasn't. And I killed Jonathan. And now you're going to kill me and I'm scared and I'm going to die. And this... this is what Jonathan felt.
A tear rolls down Andrew's face and falls onto the seal. When the drop hits the metal of the seal, it instantly stops glowing and goes dormant once again. Buffy releases Andrew and he collapses to the ground.
It stopped.
It didn't want blood. It wanted tears.
She is now kinder and gentler toward him than she has ever been in the past.
Thanks.
Sorry I had to--
You weren't really going to stab me, were you?
I wasn't going to stab you.
What if the tears didn't work?
She says nothing, merely gives him a meaningful look, then walks out. After a moment, he picks up his camcorder and follows her.
Spike and Wood fight furiously with the students, barely holding their own. Suddenly, all the students stop fighting and just wander away. Spike and Wood look at each other, amazed.
She got it done.
Always has.
So far.
Andrew sits on the closed toilet again, talking to the camera.
Here's the thing. I killed my best friend. There's a big fight coming and I don't know what's going to happen. I don't even think I'm going to live through it. That's probably the way it should be. I guess I...
He sighs, then reaches out and switches off the camera.